Unlimited Food Porn (Fate/Stay Night, Mai Hime, Sailor Moon) (HAS NO ACTUAL PORN )

[JohnWBiles]

I was seized with an idea for a story and banged this out. Comments welcomed. It screws with the canon of all three series, I'll warn in advance.



It was just a totally normal day for Tsukino Usagi, a totally normal high school student. She'd gotten detention for being late to class for the twentieth time this month, during which she'd fallen asleep with the end result being that she only woke up when her stomach tried to eat her alive.

She staggered to her feet, alone in a dark classroom; the sun had gone down and everyone was gone. Stupid teacher LET ME SLEEP PAST THE END OF DETENTION, she thought. Haruna-sensei is so evil!

As she stomped along, heading out into the yard, she heard weird noises coming from the archery dojo, like someone was shooting at the wall and yelling. She ran to the door before her common sense kicked in, telling her she should have just...but no teachers were here, so what could she do?

She stood in the doorway, staring. Two women were having a duel in the archery dojo; one of them was a woman with short sandy hair in black robes with a bow and the other woman dressed in an elegant kimono and was armed with a naginata. The walls were now full of holes as the archer jumped about, shooting glowing arrows made of energy at the naginata-wielder, who retaliated by turning her naginata into some sort of weird chain weapon, able to lash out far beyond her normal reach. The dojo was being completely trashed.

Usagi felt her forehead throb as she watched the fighting; she got this weird feeling there sometimes lately. She stared, unable to run, unable to do anything. This was horrible and fascinating at once.

There had been...something...her forehead was throbbing harder now. She could remember...a wand...a wicked queen towering over her...power...

She fell to her knees, clutching her head, and gave out a cry of pain and frustration and fear. A cry which caused both of the people in the room to look at her.

"Child, you had best leave and forget you saw this," the archer said kindly. "This is not your war."

"She must die; we cannot allow outsiders to know," the naginata-wielder said solemnly, then turned and rushed towards Usagi.

There was one thing Usagi was really good at and that was running. She ran like crazy; every time she looked back, the woman with the naginata was gliding after her relentlessly. She moved so elegantly and yet somehow kept up with Usagi's best running.

Usagi found herself back in the detention room, her least favorite place and yet one she knew far too well. Her forehead was throbbing like crazy. She was all alone and doomed. At least Naru-chan isn't here to get hurt, she thought.

I'll die never getting to tell Shirou-san how I feel about him, she thought. But at least he wouldn't die here either.

Shirou chose this moment to lean in the window, even as the naginata-wielder reached the door. Naru leaned in another window. "You didn't come home so we came looking for you and Shirou-san was kind enough to come with me so I wouldn't have to walk in the dark by myself," Naru said to Usagi. "Who's your friend?"

She looked curiously at the woman with the naginata, who sighed. "I'm very sorry, but all of you must die now. My apologies." Her voice was very elegant and sad. "Please stand still, I will make this as painless as possible."

She's so pretty, Naru thought, eyes wide.

That's very kind of her to make it painless, Shirou thought. Wait, she's going to kill us???

"I can't let you kill them," Usagi said, wobbling. "Naru-chan, Shirou-san, RUN."

"You're joking, right?" Shirou said to the woman with the naginata. It had to be a joke. People don't just run around killing each other with naginatas for no reason.

"I wish I was that elegant," Naru mumbled.

Usagi sweatdropped and her forehead pulsed with a symbol now, shining brightly. She couldn't let them die.

"I suppose I'll kill the boy first, since the girl is kind of cute," the woman with the naginata said idly.

She thinks I'm cute and WHAT AM I THINKING?, Naru asked herself.

They'd all died for her, one by one, to enable her to defeat Beryl. Never again. NEVER AGAIN.

"Or then, perhaps I'd better dispose of you before you finish," the woman with the naginata said and lashed out, her blade seperating into pieces of sharp metal linked by chains.

HELP!!!, Usagi screamed at the universe in a panic.

The light coming from Usagi's forehead formed into a woman clad in a bright pinkish-red uniform with a huge poufy skirt, holding a platter in one hand topped with drinks. She instinctively threw it at the onrushing blade and chain and there was a loud CRACK as the plate and glasses shattered, sending fragments everywhere, forcing everyone to dive for cover; she ended up on top of Usagi.

Usagi stared at the girl on top of her; she was middling in height and build with short brown hair in an unflattering style; Usagi had never seen her before, but there was something about her...

She pulled Usagi up. "Are you my..." She paused and looked embarrassed. "Boss?"

"What?" Usagi asked in confusion. She could remember flashes of her old friends now, but this woman didn't look like any of them.

"The proper word, Akane, is Master," the woman with the naginata said cheerfully, lazily.

Akane turned red and so did Usagi.

"I didn't know you were into that kind of thing," Naru said, turning red herself.

"And Shirou, what are you doing, running around with other women? My mistress won't be pleased. I'm going to have to kill them so you won't be tempted," the woman with the naginata said cheerfully. "But you die first, Akane. You're used to it, though."

"I thought you were going to kill me too," Shirou said.

"Now that I recognize you, I can't do that, even though she'd be better off without you," the woman said. "You run home before dinner gets cold."

Shirou stared at her. What is she talking about? "I can't let you kill them!" he said.

"You can't stop me. Now, Akane, just be a good girl and die," the woman with the naginata said.

Usagi's memories fluttered in her mind. She had been the leader...which Sailor was this girl Akane? "Yes, I'm the Boss," she said hesitantly.

"Then we'd better RUN!" Akane grabbed Usagi by the hand and vaulted out one of the windows. "All of you, RUN!"

"Don't leave Naru-chan!" Usagi said.

Akane ran, dragging Naru and Usagi by each of her hands as they tried desperately to keep up but pretty soon they were both trailing in the air behind Akane, trying to hold on.

Shizuru drifted elegantly to the window, but Shirou blocked her path. "I don't know what is wrong with you but I can't let you hurt them!"

Shizuru tried going to another window but instead Shirou ran back and forth, blocking her. "Go home; dinner is ready," she said to him.

"I can't let you hurt them!"

Shizuru sighed and swatted him in the forehead, knocking him out. "I suppose Akane gets away this time, but the mistress will be quite displeased if you are late for dinner. Let's go, Shirou-kun."

She hefted him over one shoulder and ran off.

Rin Tohsaka watched from the rooftop, her Servant, Archer, by her side. "What on earth is Lancer doing with Emiya-san?" she asked Archer.

Archer cocked her head. "Perhaps he is her master?"

"Why would he stop her from killing witnesses?" Rin asked hesitantly.

"Because he is not a sociopath who wants innocents to die?" Archer asked.

"I am not a sociopath, but rules are rules!" Rin protested loudly. "Witnesses have to be killed."

"Then why aren't we doing anything?" Archer asked softly.

"You're hurt and you need to rest," Rin said firmly. "And that's all. We can deal with witnesses later."

Archer smiled a little. "I will dematerialize unless you need me further."

"Walk home with me; with my luck, I'll get mugged or something, and I don't want to waste my mana; I'll need it for real enemies," Rin said firmly. "Let's go."

******************

"What's going on?" Naru asked as she, Akane, and Usagi sat on a park bench.

"The War of the Holy Grail," Akane said, sighing. "Every three hundred years, a dozen Masters are chosen to fight for the power to revolutionize the world, to reshape it to their will. They gain the power to summon past, present, and future heroes and heroines to serve them, the Servants. Whoever obtains the Grail will be granted three wishes by which they may reshape the world however they like. There are twelve classes of Servants. I am of the Waitress class."

"Waitress class?" Naru said in disbelief.

"Oooh, I work part-time as a waitress," Usagi said. "It's a lot of fun."

"Yes, it is," Akane said, smiling a little.

"But what good is being a waitress in a fight to the death?" Naru asked.

Akane laughed nervously. "I am first in Customer Service among Servants," she mumbled.

We are so dead, Naru thought.

****************

Shirou woke up in the living room of his house. He woke up because no one can sleep through Taiga-sensei eating, unless they are dead. "Hello, Shirou-kun," she said cheerfully. "Better eat while you still can."

He sat up and saw his friend Sakura and his 'elder sister', Fujiwara Taiga, his guardian and homeroom teacher, both hard at work eating. And it sounded like someone else was in the kitchen. But who could it be? Had Usagi come back with...what the hell just happened, anyway?

"Who is cooking?" He said; it sounded like EVEN MORE FOOD was being made in there.

The table itself was crammed with food: tempura, soba, udon, nasu, takoyaki, teriyaki chicken, bowls of rice and pickled vegetables, several kinds of salad, and three kinds of fish. I'll explode if I eat even just a little of this, he thought.

"My new chef, Tokiha Mai," Taiga-sensei said cheerfully. "She's the GREATEST."

"You'll gain a thousand pounds if you're not careful," Sakura said, eating delicately, though clearly enjoying her meal. "Are you okay, Shirou? We found you passed out on the front porch."

He rubbed his forehead. No bruise. Did I come home tired, pass out, and dream it all? I must have. That made no sense AT ALL.

A cheerful woman with some of the biggest breasts Shirou had ever seen in his life now came out, wearing a knee-length blue skirt and a matching blue blouse with a long white and blue striped apron over it. She had short orange hair and vivid purple eyes. She was holding a large bowl of stew. "I'm afraid the pizza rolls were not up to snuff, Taiga-sensei," she said to Taiga-sensei. "But this stew should be enough to do the trick."

"Eat with us," Taiga-sensei said. "Even I can't eat ALL of this."

Shirou said, "It's nice to meet you, Tokiha-san."

"It's nice to meet you," she said, smiling at him and sitting down.

Sakura's eyes flashed, but no one noticed.

"The school now has air conditioning again, Fuji-nee," Shirou said to her.

"YATTA!" Taiga-sensei said. "I was starting to worry."

"I think I must have gotten so tired I was basically sleep walking and then I had this really weird dream," Shirou said. "Where some crazy woman with a naginata tried to kill Usagi, Naru, and I."

Mai choked on her food for a moment.

"I'm surprised Usagi isn't over here wolfing down food," Taiga-sensei said cheerfully. "I told Mai-san to make extra food for her."

"She's a pig," Sakura said, frowning.

"Like me!" Taiga-sensei said cheerfully. "She probably fell asleep in detention again."

Mai looked over at Taiga-sensei and made some sort of hand sign which Taiga-sensei either didn't notice or didn't pay attention to.

"You shouldn't let her leech off you, Shirou-sempai," Sakura said to Shirou.

"Oh, it's okay," he said. "Ever since her mother had to go back to work, she ends up having to eat TV dinners if she eats at home and that's no way to live," Shirou continued.

"I have plenty of money to buy more food," Taiga-sensei said.

Mai tried to signal her again, but Taiga-sensei was too busy stuffing soba down her throat to notice.

Shirou tried calling Usagi, but she didn't answer. Well, I'm sure she's okay, he thought.

*************

"See that red star by the moon?" Akane said to Usagi.

"Yes," Usagi said.

"Only masters and servants can see it," Akane said.

Then why do I see it?, Naru asked herself. But probably I'm just imagining things.

"What does it do?" Usagi asked.

"That's the Grail. Once only one Servant is left, it will descend down to him or her and they get their three wishes," Akane said.

"Left?" Usagi asked.

"The fighting continues until only one Servant remains, and then the Grail descends," Akane said.

"As in, the Servants all kill each other?" Usagi said, frowning.

"Well, we're already dead," Akane said, sighing. "Not that I wish to die again."

"Do the Masters fight each other?" Naru asked nervously.

"They don't have to but often do. In some cases, Masters just go hide while their Servant handles things," Akane said. "A Master whose Servant is slain can try to recruit Servants whose Master somehow died before they did," she continued. "But a Master can only have one Servant at a time, by the rules. Also, a Master with no Servants may take refuge with the referee of the Grail War. In which case no one may harm him or her."

"Is this written down somewhere?" Naru asked. "It seems complicated."

"I don't know," Akane confessed. "But there is a referee who is in charge of enforcing the rules of the War; we could go see him. He is Professor Tomoe."

"The physicist?" Usagi asked. She vaguely had heard of him.

"Yes, he's also a magus of great power," Akane said.

"So what about the mark on Usagi's head?" Naru asked.

Akane said, "It's the mark of a Master, I think." She studied the silvery crescent moon.

Usagi studied herself with a compact. Because I'm Sailor Moon, she thought. A lot of her memories were still fuzzy, but she remembered that much. She touched it and it vanished. She was surprised it had stayed on this long without her using any power. Then she noticed something else. "Hey, there are three crescent moons on my right arm."

"I got killed before I found out what those do last time, I think." Akane said, frowning. "My memories are somewhat fuzzy. I think I was a Master and I'm pretty sure I got betrayed somehow." But she could hardly remember any of it.

"I guess we should go see Professor Tomoe," Naru said.

"Tomorrow," Usagi said. "And you don't have to be part of this, Naru-chan." She looked very worried.

"I won't abandon you, Usagi," Naru said firmly. "Best friends forever, right? I probably can't do much in something like this, but I won't abandon you either." And I want to know why I can see that star too. I know I'm no magician, so why do I see it?

Usagi wasn't so sure that was wise, but she couldn't say no to Naru, either. "Akane, we'll have to tell my parents something."

"There's supposed to be some way for us to turn into invisible ghosts or something, I think. I know I could call up or dismiss my Servant," Akane said. "I'm sorry, I really hardly know what I'm doing."

Usagi took her hands. "Me neither, but we'll figure it out together, okay, Akane-chan? And there's no way I'm going to make you go be all ghosty when you could sleep in a nice warm bed."

Usagi's stomach grumbled loudly. "But first, we have to go get some food."

"Usagi, you can't just mooch off Shirou-san every day," Naru said.

"I want REAL food. Cup ramen is NOT ENOUGH," Usagi said. "Time for me to introduce you to a really cute guy who cooks well and is very kind." She paused. "My future boyfriend!"

Naru said, "A, you can't actually muster the courage to try anything, and B, I think he's already hooked up with Taiga-sensei."

"Not everyone is into older people!," Usagi said. "No matter how many teachers YOU have had crushes on, Naru-chan. And he calls her 'big sister'. I STILL HAVE HOPE!"

Akane laughed as she tagged along after them as they bickered on whether they should be going to mooch off Shirou-san and whether Usagi had a chance.

******

"Police are baffled by the theft of the Angel of Fuyuki," the TV announced in Shiro's living room as everyone laid around, stuffed and somewhat drowsy, while Mai did dishes in the kitchen. Footage of the Angel, pre-vanishing, now was shown. It was a fifteen foot tall statue of a female Angel, her wings and arms spread wide in blessing.

The Angel of Fuyuki City had stood in the town's central park ever since World War II; it had been donated to the town by an American serviceman during the Occupation for reasons known only to himself. The beautiful marble statue was said to bless any relationship pledged in front of it and many had been. Why would anyone steal it? The newscasters were clearly outraged.

Shiro frowned. "That's terrible."

Sakura looked outraged. "I was counting on that!"

"For what?" Shiro asked.

Taiga-sensei rubbed her forehead, then drank more of her tea. "What do you think, Shirou?"

"Oh," he said. I didn't realize she liked someone. But it wouldn't be polite to pry.

There was a knock on the door. Shirou managed to force himself to his feet and stumble over to the door; it was hard to move; he'd eaten too much. He found Naru and Akane dragging Usagi, whose eyes were glazed over. "So hungry..." Usagi mumbled.

"Do we have more guests?" Mai shouted from the kitchen.

"Yes," Shirou said. He took Usagi over one shoulder, then nearly fell down. By sheer force of will, he brought her over to the table. "Hello, Usagi-san, Naru-san," he said. "Please eat with us."

"This is Akane," Naru said. "A friend of Usagi's."

"We'll feed you too," Shirou said. "There's enough for three, right?" he shouted to the kitchen.

"Yes, there is," Mai said. "If they like fish."

"FOOD," Usagi said urgently.

"That's a yes," Naru said.

Akane stood, frozen. Was that, could it be...

Mai said, "Can someone come help me bring this out?"

Akane instinctively sprang into action, swiftly entering the kitchen, stacking everything efficiently on trays and bringing the food back out, spreading it out with a flourish in mere seconds.

"You really are first in Customer Service," Naru said, impressed as Akane even had balanced a pitcher of tea on her head; she somehow served three glasses of tea with a nod.

And then the pitcher was on the table as if it had always been there.

Mai came to the door and said hesitantly, "Akane?"

"Mai," Akane said weakly.

"Akane!" Mai said, rushing over to her and taking her hands. "You're okay!"

"Mai...what are you doing here?" Akane asked.

"I'm working for Taiga-sensei," Mai said, clearly a little nervous. "Hey, wasn't that Linden Baum's uniform?"

Akane laughed nervously. "Yes." I can't believe I manifested in this thing. It's not what I was wearing when I died, I think.

"She is a GENIUS," Taiga-sensei said. "The best cook ever! We are going to be in HEAVEN, especially if we have a genius server to go with our genius cook! And Shirou and Sakura are brilliant cooks too." Mmm, Unlimited Food Porn, she thought. The best kind.

****************

Unlimited Food Porn

A Fate/Stay Night / Sailor Moon / Mai Hime fanfic

By John Biles

**************

[biigoh]

John Biles... your madness... it is over 9000!!! But I would totally wish to see more of this.

[JohnWBiles]

Originally Posted by biigoh

John Biles... your madness... it is over 9000!!! But I would totally wish to see more of this.

Your wish is my command. You are now down to only two command seals, though...




"Mom, do you mind if a friend of mine stays overnight?" Usagi asked her mother, who was sitting in front of the TV, half-asleep.

"That's fine, dear," Usagi's mother said groggily. "You don't mind, do you, honey?" she asked Usagi's father, similarly clonked out next to her on the couch.

"Just throw blankets over us," Usagi's father said. "And make sure Shingo actually sleeps at home tonight."

"Yes, Dad," Usagi said. Shingo was in junior high and already into full-blown rebellion mode. With both of their parents working very hard to keep the family afloat in a bad economy, Usagi largely had to police him. This rarely worked well.

"Thank you. I am Higurashi Akane," Akane said to them.

"Nice to meet you," Usagi's mother said without even turning away from the TV.

"Can you get me some tea, Usagi?" Usagi's father asked.

"Of course, Dad," Usagi said.

A second later, Akane handed him some tea. "Here you go, sir."

"You're a marvel," he said, sipping it. "Perfect. Have fun, you two."

Usagi hugged each of them awkwardly; she hated seeing them so worn out. She'd actually gotten off her ass and gotten a part-time job in order to bring in some money to help out.

Then they headed upstairs and Akane tried to help Usagi with her homework. With the little time they had left at this point before bed. Akane put on some of Usagi's spare pajamas. "Usagi," she said nervously. "Mai was a friend of mine when I fought in the last Grail War."

"But wasn't that three hundred years ago?" Usagi asked.

Akane rubbed her head. "I know it only happens every three hundred years, but I'm pretty sure it was 2004 when it happened and I fought in it. And got taken out."

"But it's only 2010," Usagi said, confused.

"We can figure it out later. But Mai seems to be the same age I last saw her. Which was either six years ago or three hundred or...something," Akane said. "I was too nervous to ask more of her."

"Well, we can ask Professor Tomoe tomorrow," Usagi said, yawning. She took Akane's hands. "Don't be afraid. We'll be okay. I've had worse than this to deal with. And I won't let you die." Her voice was intense enough that it scared Akane a little. "No more people are dying for me. EVER."

"More?" Akane asked softly.

"I lost all my friends but Naru, fighting an evil Queen two years ago, in Junior High," Usagi said. "I can't remember it clearly or even why I forgot. I guess that's why I was able to summon you. But I promise, I won't let you die again."

"It is the job of the Servant..." Akane began.

"I don't care," Usagi said firmly. "You will not die. I am NOT letting another friend get killed. Period. We'll fight together and we will win and this is not going to end with everyone I care about dying for me. Never again." Her voice was fervent.

"Okay, Usagi," Akane said softly, feeling a little overwhelmed. "Tell me about it."

Usagi told her about the war between the Sailor Senshi and Beryl until finally sleep took her, her face simply falling forward onto Akane's chest.

Akane gently laid her down and curled up next to her and tried to remember the name of the boy in her mind; his face shone like the sun for her, but she couldn't remember his name. I wonder if he's okay, she thought. I hope so.

*****************

The next morning, Archer said to Tohsaka Rin, "You could just go up, knock on the door, and say hello, you know."

They were lurking on a rooftop, watching the Emiya house from a distance.

"I can't just do that," Rin said. "We're here because I was passing by and sensed magic in use."

"Smells more like breakfast to me," Archer said. "And if we were just passing by, why are you carrying two bento boxes?"

"Lunch," Rin said.

"Oh, so you were planning to ask him to eat lunch with you?" Archer said kindly.

"No! The other one...it's for you."

"Well, let's sneak closer, then."

"He might see us!" Rin said frantically.

"We can hardly find out what the magic is if we don't," Archer said. "Unless you have magic for seeing through walls."

"Father wouldn't let me learn that because he said most mages use it to see people naked and he didn't want me to be a pervert," Rin mumbled.

"Then let's get closer."

It was fairly easy for them to creep up on the house and peek in the kitchen window, where they saw Mai and Shirou hard at work cooking. "I'm the host, I should be doing this," he said, checking the dangos he was cooking.

Mai flipped the mackarel she was grilling, then checked on the edamame, which was busy boiling in water. She sniffed the air, then added a touch more salt. "I'm being paid to cook for you and Taiga-sensei and Sakura-san," she said. "It's my job."

"I feel bad if someone else gets up before me and comes and cooks for me," he said. "Like I'm not fulfilling my duties."

She smiled at him. "It shows you're a good person, but feel no guilt. I love cooking and this is my job. I'm under orders from Taiga-sensei. She wants to make sure you're well fed."

He smiled at that.

Rin frowned. Are they both magi? She could feel the magic flowing through their cooking. Powerful magic. She'd almost think it Servant-level, but who would waste their Servant on cooking? Also, there was no way Shirou was a Servant.

Unless...

She thought about Shirou. It would be just like him to do something ludicrous like summoning a Servant whose main power was COOKING. For that matter, she'd heard enough about his cooking skills that him being a mage who focused on cooking did make sense...

But that would make him part of the Grail War and she didn't want to have to waste mana on that idiot, Shirou.

"We have only one choice," she whispered to Archer.

"Hmm?"

"I'm going to invite myself to breakfast. You wait outside in case I need you. If he's a magus, he might sense you if you come in, immaterial."

Archer smiled. "Of course."

"Don't smile at me like that!" Rin protested.

"Yes, master."

"STOP SMILING AT ME LIKE THAT!"

"Hello, is someone out there?" Shirou shouted out the window.

"There is no one here," Rin shouted, then ran.

"Oh, okay," he said, then stopped. "Wait, then who are you?" He clambered up and stuck his head out just in time to see a flash of red and black around the corner of the house. "..."

"I'll put on more vegetables," Mai said cheerfully. "For our extra guest."

"But she said there was no one there," Shirou said.

Mai laughed and went to work.

A minute later, Shirou heard a banging at the door, so he answered it. "Oh, hello, Tohsaka-san," he said. "Were you around by the window?"

"Of course not, I told you I wasn't, so I wasn't," she said.

"Okay," he said. That made sense. "It's nice of you to come say hello. Are you on your way to school early?"

"Yes," she said, then blurted out, "FEED ME." Then she looked she wanted to die. "I mean, it smells very good. Who's cooking?"

He laughed. "Feel free to eat with us. Taiga-sensei's new cook, Tokiha Mai, is cooking for us."

Rin felt something impact her from behind and fell down as Sakura walked over her. "Hello, sempai," Sakura said to Shirou. "I'm sorry I'm late. I'll come help you right now!"

"You need to look where you're going, you just walked on Tohsaka-san."

If only I didn't need to save my mana for the war, this girl would PAY, Rin thought. She jumped to her feet. "Look where you are going, you clumsy kohai!"

"I'm very sorry," Sakura said, bowing to her. "You don't show up well, wearing all that black. Come on, sempai." She grabbed Shirou and dragged him off to the kitchen.

Rude girl, Rin thought, frowning. The Mato family are a bunch of arrogant bastards who don't deserve their pride; I've heard rumors their blood has become so weak they can't produce any proper magi any more.

Shirou stuck his head out of the kitchen. "Come on in, Tohsaka-san, sit down, you can watch TV while we cook."

Then a hand dragged him back into the kitchen like a squid tentacle seizing prey.

Rin came over, turned the TV on, and sat down.

"Three businessmen were found, robbed and naked, strung up with red strings in front of the Ward 8 Police Station, with signs around their necks which read 'I patronize under-age prostitutes'," the newscaster said.

Rin studied it thoughtfully. It could be a coincidence but it was such a strange thing to happen.

There was a brief shot of the faces of the victims; they looked pale as sheets. They hadn't just been mugged; they were drained of mana. She frowned. Randomly attacking non-participants in the war was legal, but frowned on. This sort of thing could lead to exposure of the war. And was basically immoral.

But it could also be intended to be a trap.

"That's horrible," Shirou said, setting down a glass of tea in front of her. He sounded frustrated. "Something needs to be done about that."

"That's why we have police," Taiga-sensei said.

Rin and Shirou both jumped with surprise.

"When Shirou was little, he used to run around trying to 'fight for justice' with a baseball bat. Until he got his ass kicked and I had to save him," Taiga-sensei said, then sighed. "So don't do anything foolish, Shirou-kun. Leave it to the police."

"What use is...," Shirou began, then cut himself off. "You're right, Fuji-nee. I'll go cook. I can do that, at least." He stomped off and Taiga-sensei sighed.

"That was a little harsh," Tohsaka-san said to Taiga-sensei.

"Shirou-kun is a good boy with a strong sense of justice and a desire to help others. But unless you can defeat evil with food or mechanical repair, his skill set just isn't right. And he has some kendo skills, but I can't get him to focus on it." Taiga-sensei sighed. "Do you do Kendo, Tohsaka-san?"

"I couldn't swordfight my way out of a paper sack," Rin said. "So you do Kendo in addition to teaching English, sensei?" She had Taiga-sensei for fifth period English, in fact.

"Fourth dan Black Belt," Taiga-sensei said proudly. "That would qualify me to run my own dojo if I had the time. But of course, teaching is my first calling. Still, I hope to qualify for fifth dan by next year this time."

Rin sipped her tea and nodded approvingly. Rin admired anyone who dedicated themselves to something and became good at it. Mastering two arts (English and Kendo) was even more impressive.

She then spilled her tea on herself when she felt an intense burst of magic washing over everything. "Ahh!" she yelped as hot tea soaked down her front.

"Let me get you a towel," Taiga-sensei said, running deeper into the house.

What was THAT?

********************

Usagi said to her parents, "I don't know where Shingo is." She sounded frustrated. "I'm not his keeper."

"You have to be; we're too busy to run herd on him," Usagi's mother said. She reached for her empty glass; suddenly, it had tea in it and Akane handed her a lemon slice.

"Thank you, Akane," Usagi's mother said. "It was very kind of you to make us breakfast."

"I'm a good cook," Akane said. "And Usagi helped."

"Really?" her mother said in surprise.

"Hey, I haven't burned anything in nearly two years!" Usagi said, frustrated. She wasn't sure why, but somehow she'd gotten much better at cooking around the time she had gotten amnesia for some reason. Maybe I learned something during the amnesia period, she thought. She had dim memories of some tall girl who was a wonderful cook showing her things. The fact that she couldn't remember the girl's name frustrated her.

Usagi tried to remember her plan for enabling Akane to stay with her without questions from the parents. It had been a brilliant plan and now she couldn't remember it at all. But she had to do something. There had to be something that everyone would believe.

She grew more and more frantic as she ate; Akane looked over at her, worried. "Are you okay, Usagi?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine," she said.

"You know, you got up early, Usagi. Very good," her mother said.

Usagi's father, Tsukino Kenji, nodded. "It's a good habit to cultivate."

"I got her up since she asked me to," Akane said.

"It's a pity you aren't here every day to wake her up then," Usagi's mother said.

Now I remember, Usagi thought. Urgently, desperately, she suddenly blurted out, "Akane will be staying with us because she's my cousin from the future!"

THAT WAS NOT MY PLAN AT ALL, Usagi thought, but now she felt a flare of pain in her arm and a flash of light erupted over the entire planet from her forehead.

***************

Professor Tomoe ended up with jam all over his face when he felt the wave of magic and ended up wearing his toast instead of eating it, which caused his daughter, Hotaru, to giggle, then embarrasedly cover her mouth with her hand.

That was a miracle of the Grail, he thought. But what did it do? And how could even a Master's command be so strong?

He wasn't sure if this boded well or ill.

****************

"It's a good thing you have your cousin from the future here to help get you up," Usagi's mother said. "Can't you give us even a little hint whether I get any grandchildren, Akane?"

"It's not allowed," Akane improvised hastilly. What is going on?

******************

"But she is your cousin from the future, everyone knows that," Naru said to Usagi.

This must be how the amnesia thing happened, Usagi thought. I didn't want to remember everyone dying and I made everyone forget.

She frowned. I don't like the idea of everyone forgetting...I can't even remember who everyone is forgetting, I just see their faces!

And one of the marks on her arm had vanished. There had been three and now there were two. So she had to be careful not to detonate another one.

Even if she wasn't sure how she set it off.

******************

Rin dipped her fish in the sauce, then shoved some corn and nasu down after it. So much food, so delicious. It was like eating pure heaven. No wonder some people overeat, she thought.

She forced herself to slow down, as everyone else ate with good manners except for Taiga-sensei, who didn't eat so much as inhale food. Knowing how much the woman bounced around in school and the amount of exercise she got, she likely needed it.

"And on the lighter side, two foreigners got thrown out of an all-you-can-eat diner when they ate everything the store had and became angry because the place could no longer feed them," the newscaster continued.

Images of a short blonde Russian girl with a hat nearly as big as she was and a slightly taller dark haired girl who didn't actually look like a foreigner at all, given her dark hair, Japanese features and appropriate skin tone, now flashed on the screen with the police chasing them down the street; the slightly taller girl ran like a cat on her hands and feet.

Mai's eyes widened and she snorted tea up her nose and then rolled around with Taiga-sensei patting her back. "Are you okay?" she asked frantically.

"How strange," Sakura said.

Illyasviel Eizenhorn, from the great family, Rin thought, frowning. Cutting close to blowing things as usual, I see. Illyasviel was too young for the Grail War, too young to be allowed to run around on her own. What was she doing here?

Hopefully whichever one of her relatives is in this war will get her off the street before she gets in trouble, Rin thought. Gets us ALL in trouble.

Shirou studied her; something odd about that girl. "I wonder why she came here from Russia."

"Maybe she's an exchange student," Taiga-sensei said. "We're getting one today."

I've heard she is a genius, but please don't let her be coming to our school, Rin thought. The last thing I need is that little nitwit cramping my style.

"Speaking of which, we'd best get to school. Mai will clean up for us," Taiga-sensei said. "Shirou, get your uniform on. This train is about to leave the station."

*****************

"We have two exchange students," Taiga-sensei said. "This is Usagi's cousin Higurashi Akane. She's from the future, so don't ask her any questions about stock prices, horse races, or movie quality. You know the rules. Our other new student is Hino Rei; she's come to help at the local shrine. You're not allowed to ask her measurements, but you can ask other questions."

Akane bowed awkwardly, while Rei bowed gracefully.

"Are we allowed to ask Akane's measurements?" Umino Gurio, the class gossip, asked.

"Yes, that's allowed but only her current measurements and not anyone in the clases' future measurements," Taiga-sensei said. "Right, Akane?"

"..."

"Can we ask her the current measurements of our classmates?" Umino asked, holding his phone ready to take notes.

Akane sighed. "82, 52, 83, okay?"

"52?" Umino studied her carefully. "I think you need to remeasure. That would be roughly one third of your height, which is impossible. You'd snap in half."

"..."

"Your waist IS smaller than your hips but not THAT much smaller. More like maybe 73 or so," he said.

"That's enough," Rei said firmly. "Be quiet, boy."

"Hey!" Umino protested.

Usagi stared at Rei. She's one of the girls from my memories! But it's clear she doesn't remember me. Rei...

A wash of memories flooded her mind. Rei...she died for me. But here she is alive. Alive. Usagi began crying from relief.

Naru looked over at Usagi, worried.

"Are you okay?" Shirou asked Usagi.

"I'm fine," she said. "I just...I've never been so happy in my life."

What a weirdo, Rei thought, but she didn't say anything to be polite.


"That's an odd way to be happy," Naru said doubtfully. Something odd about that Hino girl, she thought. But what?

****************

Being the sort of person to bounce back quickly, Usagi had decided by third period she would have to try and approach Rei, see if there was some way she and Akane could restore Rei's memories. That would be a big help. And Rei deserved to know the truth.

However, third period posed an entirely DIFFERENT problem. Said problem was the Art Teacher, Ishigama Wateru. He wasn't a personal problem for Usagi; in fact, her talent for art had flourished with her guidance. But Naru had a GIANT CRUSH on him and Usagi was torn between her desire to help her friend and her knowledge that Naru really needed to stop getting crushes on men who were WAY TOO OLD for her. This was what, number five?

Six if you counted Onizuka-sensei, but since he acted like a kid in an adult's body, Usagi was not sure if he counted. Certainly Naru had been more mature than him. Admittedly, he'd been a ton of fun.

Ishigami-sensei was handsome and kind and gentle, but Usagi was sure that getting a crush on older men was not a good idea for a girl her age.

Distantly, the irony of this was so massive it caused a star to collapse into a black hole.

But Usagi was oblivious to that.

He was leaning over Naru and pointing to things on the painting Naru was doing and Naru was blushing and Usagi couldn't let this go on.

She glanced over; Akane was doing a painting of the inside of a restaurant; it was okay, but not great. Usagi glanced at Rei's painting of a holy shrine with a sacred fire burning. There were shadows in the fire, hinting at...at something that hadn't been painted yet.

Usagi now glanced over at Naru's painting; she was painting a picture of an ice cream shop with herself eating a sundae...with an older man with long wavy brown hair, wearing a grey uniform of some kind. It looked vaguely familiar...something about stars...

"Who is that, your father?" Ishigami-sensei asked her kindly.

"My father died ten years ago. Mom won't talk about what happened, but there was a huge fire that destroyed a lot of the city and..." Naru began.

Shirou suddenly made a choking noise, then said sadly to Naru. "You too?"

"You lost your father in the fire?" Naru asked him sadly.

"Both my parents," Shirou said, his voice heavy with regret.

"That's awful," Naru said sympathetically. "Mom and I were off visiting my grandmother when it happened. But Dad died trying to get some people out of a burning building." She stared at the floor.

Ishigami-sensei patted her shoulder. "Better he be alive, but if you have to die, it's best to die a hero, right?"

Shirou nodded.

"I wish he was alive and not a hero," Naru mumbled.

"I'm sorry, Naru-chan," Usagi said, coming over and hugging her.

"It's hardly your fault," Naru said to Usagi. "It's not like you started the fire."

Rei made a disgruntled sound and Naru glared at her. "What?"

"She just seems like the sort to stumble into something and accidentally start a fire," Rei said dismissively, turning back to her painting. "And people complain too much about fire, anyway."

"That fire killed thousands!" Naru said angrily. "I think they have a right to complain!"

"Fire is the basis of civilization!" Rei said angrily. "Without fire we'd all be living in caves!"

Usagi stood paralyzed, then jolted into action. Unfortunately, this meant crashing into her easel as she tried to step between them. Her painting flipped up into the air.

Akane leaped up and caught it by the non-painted side, holding it like a serving tray, then slid it back onto the easel, catching Usagi from falling on the floor with her other hand. As the paints came down, she caught those and placed them back in place.

Everyone stared, then Shirou clapped his hands and soon everyone was clapping, even Rei, though she looked pissed.

Akane laughed shyly, and Ishigami-sensei said, "Very impressive, Akane. They must have a good physical education program in the future."

"It's very good," Akane said, laughing a little louder now.

"See, I knew she'd stumble into things," Rei said. "Anyway, I have to finish this."

Usagi frowned. What's gotten into her? She's not normally like this.

I have to keep Usagi away from me until I win this war, Rei thought. With Usagi's memories erased, she can't help and she's likely to get hurt. I don't want her to be a target. Even if it means I have to hurt her right now. I'll apologize later when I prevent the world being destroyed.

The things she'd seen in the sacred fire...if she didn't win the Grail War, the world would be destroyed.

Of course, if she didn't manage to figure out HOW to summon a servant, her participation would be over before it started... But Rei was still confident she could pull that off. She was a woman unaccustomed to failure.

[ggs]

So this is a story where Usagi learns the hard way to no miss-place wishing stones of awesome power?

[biigoh]

Originally Posted by JohnWBiles

Your wish is my command. You are now down to only two command seals, though...

Then... I shall hunt down another and cut off their hands/arms for their command seals!

[Jonen C]

Originally Posted by biigoh

Then... I shall hunt down another and cut off their hands/arms for their command seals!

Or, you know, maybe you could pay someone to use one for you?

[biigoh]

Originally Posted by Jonen C

Or, you know, maybe you could pay someone to use one for you?

But that's the easy and expensive way... the old ways are best. Off with hands and arms!

[Jonen C]

Will you at least give them a chance to give up the Seals without loosing an arm?

[biigoh]

That sounds so... so wussy. Are you an Emiya-type guy or a Tohsaka-type guy?

[Jonen C]

Originally Posted by biigoh

That sounds so... so wussy. Are you an Emiya-type guy or a Tohsaka-type guy?

Severed limbs are inconvenient. Besides that, I prefer to limit the unneccessary violence so as to preserve energy and the element of surprise, thereby allowing the necessary violence to be as violent as required and as unexpected as possible.

I am the type of guy that speaks very softly and does not carry a particularly big stick, but when it becomes necessary to use force will beat you until the stick breaks and then run you through with the remains of the stick if that is what the situation requires.

[JohnWBiles]

Operation Talk to Rei had gone badly, due to Rei yelling at her and driving her off, so Usagi was eating lunch with Naru and Akane and sulking.

"So who is that guy in your painting?" Akane asked Naru.

"I dream about him sometimes; he's my dream boyfriend," Naru whispered, then turned red. "I guess that sounds like a five year old."

"No, it's normal," Usagi said. "I paint things I dream all the time." Some of which were real, I know now. I think.

Suddenly, she wondered if some Master had altered HER memories to make her think she'd once been Sailor Moon, the way she apparently had altered people's memories to forget it.

That creeped her out.

"Usagi?" Akane asked, worried.

"Nothing," she said. I really do need to talk to Professor Tomoe, I think.

****************

Taiga-sensei was busy stuffing her face when Mai, who had brought her lunch, said, softly, "We need to talk after school, when we can have privacy."

Taiga-sensei gave her a thumbs-up and another one for the food, wondering why Mai looked so concerned.

*****************

"It was very nice of you to invite me to have lunch with you," Shirou said to Rin; they were sitting under a tree by one side of the school.

"I had an extra lunch I packed for a friend but she didn't come," Rin said. "I was curious about Taiga-sensei's new cook."

"Taiga-sensei's family has stupid amounts of money. They probably worried she wasn't eating right. She's an okay cook but much better at eating and burning calories than cooking," Shirou said to her.

Rin laughed, then forced herself to stop. "I hope the food is acceptable; you must be used to a high standard."

"This is great," he said. "I've never seen mayonaisse used like this with the squid and the carrots sliced like that. And the cabbage. And is this sugar and paprika? And I think there is vinegar in this."

"It's called cole slaw," Rin said. "I've been around the world a fair amount. The squid isn't normally part of it but it needed some meat." He could identify the paprika? He is good.

Maybe he really is a magus, she thought. Is he in the war? She hoped not, but she would do what she had to. But how to find out without giving away her own identity?

And could that 'Mai' be one of the Servants? But which one? There were seven classes of servants— Archer, Assassin, Berserker, Caster, Lancer, Rider and Saber. Rin had wanted a Saber, but ended up with Archer. Archer was cheerful and a good shot, so despite the difficulties this would cause when Rin was a ranged person with little melee capacity also, Rin was pretty happy to have her.

Maybe she was an assassin who used poison in food! She could be Lucrezia Borgia! That made sense. You'd need supremely good cooking skills to pull that off against a magus. VERY clever. But that likely meant Taiga-sensei was her master, not Shirou.

Half of that was good; Rin liked Shirou and didn't want to kill him.

Half of that was bad; she liked Taiga-sensei and didn't want to kill her.

But best not to rush to conclusions, right?

Right now, she could just have a nice relaxing lunch with a nice guy she probably wouldn't have to kill at all.

And that was good.

***************

Usagi was full but still sulking later in the lunch break. Naru and Akane were both worried about her.

Suddenly, twin hands closed over her eyes. "Guess who," a husky voice asked.

"Haruka-san!" Usagi said, perking up. "You actually came to school!"

Akane studied the handsome blond man standing over Usagi; he looked like a senior to her, or even a college student, older and very mature looking, though he had a lazy smile. That's not the Haruka I know. Of course, nothing says there can't be more than one Haruka in the world.

"Hey, if I always skipped, that would be predictable, Usagi-chan," he said cheerfully.

Akane now noticed a beautiful, mature older girl standing nearby, wearing their school uniform. (Haruka was wearing the boys' uniform for the school for that matter.) She was carrying a bookbag and a violin case.

"Haruka, this is my cousin from the future, Higurashi Akane," Usagi said to Haruka. "Akane, this is my friend Ten'ou Haruka and that's his girlfriend Kai'ou Michiru."

"It's nice to meet you," Michiru said with a lyrical voice, coming over and shaking Akane's hand. Just looking at her made Akane feel like a little kid.

"It's nice to meet you too. Are you in the school Orchestra?" Akane asked.

"Yes I am," Michiru said. "Though I'm on leave this semester while I work on a special project."

"Oh wow, are you recording a record?" Usagi asked.

"Indeed I am," Michiru said. "With Haruka's help. Haruka plays the piano."

Haruka made finger to key gestures, smiling.

"Congratulations," Naru said. "You'll let us hear it some time, won't you?"

Umino sprang out from behind a tree. "Your contract is with Venus Records, right? Aino Minako's label?"

"Yes, it is," Michiru said. "Aino-san heard me perform and signed me immediately. She's rather impulsive."

Minako!, Usagi thought. That's her name! The blonde girl in my memories. So she's alive too. Which means...the other two...whoever they are...are alive too. Usagi felt a huge wave of relief.

"Usagi-chan, what's wrong?" Haruka asked, kneeling down by her as she began to cry.

"It's okay," Usagi said. "I'm just fine."

"I guess she fears having to hear your piano playing, Haruka," Michiru teased Haruka.

"It's her family situation; her brother is running wild and her parents expect her to ride herd on him and it's just not possible for her to exert that kind of authority on him as just his sister," Akane said hastily to Haruka and Michiru.

"Want me to put the fear of god in that brat, Shingo?" Haruka asked.

"No, it's okay, I'm fine, don't worry about me," Usagi said.

"I see you got some tattoos," Haruka said, looking at the crescent moons on Usagi's arm.

"Haha, I'm so impulsive," Usagi babbled in a panic. If only they...no, I'll trigger them! Everyone will forget the moon exists or something!

"You know, Usagi's name and the legend of the moon bunny," Naru said hastily.

Haruka laughed. "I see. Well, we'd best be getting on."

"See you!" Michiru said cheerfully and they headed out.

"Are they seniors?" Akane asked.

"Super-cool ones. They're like the King and Queen of the school. I'm so jealous," Naru said, though she said it with the most cheerful tone of voice anyone ever confessed to jealousy with. "They have a big feud with Matou Shinji, though." She sighed. "He's cute, but not quite as cute as Haruka."

"Shirou's much cuter," Usagi said.

"Oh come on, that wavy hair is totally cool," Naru said.

Arguing whose hair was cooler ate up the rest of lunch.

***************

Sixth period, Usagi blinked. Where was their usual history teacher, Kuzuki Souichiro? Instead, some redhaired woman dressed in a tank top, a blue jacket, and blue jeans had walked in. She was fairly good looking, though Usagi wasn't into teachers. She didn't really quite look very teacherly to Usagi.

Akane blinked. "Suguira-sensei?"

"Hi, Akane!" she said cheerfully. "I see you came back in time too. I'm your new history teacher, Suguira Midori...FROM THE FUTURE!"

Everyone stared in surprise.

"Wouldn't it be easier to be a history teacher from the past?" Shirou asked. "Since you're forbidden to tell us about the future?"

"Oh, I haven't even actually arrived yet here in the past," Suguira-sensei said cheerfully. "But don't worry, I don't understand temporal physics well enough to give away the secrets of time travel."

Everyone stared mindlessly as their brains tried to figure out what she meant.

"Anyway, your usual teacher ran off with some Greek woman. So, it's time to teach you all about history! We're going to start with the Old Ones and their wars with Cthulhu's minions for control of the Earth!"

That's not in the textbook, Shirou thought.

Wow, she's good at drawing squid people, Usagi thought as Suguira-sensei began drawing on the board.

This idiot is going to reveal the secret history of the world! Now what?, Rei asked herself. Is she a magus? A master? Are masters now time travelling from other eras to fight in the Grail War? Maybe a temporal paradox is going to happen that will destroy the world.

She was definitely going to have to spend a few hours with her head in the sacred smoke of the sacred fire in which the sacred plants burned. If nothing else, it would help mellow her out from all her STRESS.

*****************

"He's so cute," Naru said, touching her heart as Mato Shinji walked by with a half dozen women in archery outfits. He was a big wig of the campus, from a rich family, a skilled archer, and very popular with women.

Usagi couldn't decide if Naru having a crush on him was a step up from her having a crush on Ishigami-sensei. On the good side, he was HER AGE. On the bad side, Ishigami-sensei was a nice guy and Shinji was an arrogant asshole who totally had burned the love letter Usagi had written him in front of the entire Archery club last year.

And laughed. So hard he fell down and Shirou had to take him to the infirmary.

I'm much luckier having Shirou, even if I can't form two sentences coherently when I try to tell him how I feel, Usagi thought.

*******************

"So what's the problem?" Taiga-sensei asked Mai as they walked home from the school to Shirou's house, where Taiga-sensei lived, since she was his official guardian.

"Well, I had this memory of how things worked in the next Grail War, which I think I fought in," Mai said, frowning. "In the future," she said hesitantly. Though her fuzzy memories seemed to indicate the future wasn't all that advanced from the present. Maybe her family had been very retro in styling.

"Yes, I summoned you here from the future," Taiga-sensei said. "Even if I'm not sure how."

"I think your necklace somehow enabled you to," Mai said hesitantly. "I should know this stuff as Caster, but I can't remember it very well." She frowned.

Taiga-sensei pulled out her necklace, which she wore inside her shirt on Mai's advice. Someone had taken a crystal heart broach and turned it into a necklace by stringing it on a platinum chain. Akbar's Pawn Shop had sold it to her cheap; it was practically a steal, given how pretty it was. But Caster was pretty sure it was strongly magical and it had summoned Caster when those men had tried to kill her because of her family's Yakuza connections. And Mai...Caster...Mai...clearly had magical powers.

"Well, if I remember correctly, if the Master's Servant is defeated, the person you most care about will evaporate," Mai said, grimacing. "Which I guess is Shirou."

Taiga-sensei looked horrified. "That's terrible! I wouldn't..." She imagined Shirou evaporating. "Then I can't afford to lose," she said determinedly. "Because I could NEVER let that happen."

"He's like a brother to you, right?" Mai said softly.

"Yes. I am his big sister who has to watch over and protect him because he's not very good at taking care of himself," Taiga-sensei said firmly. "And I will NOT let him evaporate! No matter what!"

No wonder I ended up as her Servant, Mai thought, smiling sadly. She took Taiga-sensei's hand. "I promise I will help you protect your little brother!"

"And I promise I will help you win the war so this won't EVER have to happen again to anyone. This war ends NOW," Taiga-sensei said firmly. "Then you and your friends will be free and none of the terrible things that happened to them will come to pass."

They reaffirmed their pledge to each other, then Mai said, "I don't know what Akane is doing here. I...I hope she's not another Servant."

"She wouldn't be running around with Usagi and Naru, having fun if she was a Servant, right?" Taiga-sensei said. "They're totally normal girls. She's just time-travelling from the future as an exchange student. And a Servant wouldn't bother enrolling in school, right?"

"That's true, it would get in the way," Mai said. "Let's go make dinner, then tonight, we can investigate the missing statue. It's almost certainly connected to the war somehow. That and the prostitutes, but it's less likely to get us arrested by the vice squad. And we need to avoid police attention."

Taiga-sensei nodded. "Food first, then we hunt for EVIL."

You had to get your priorities straight.

[Arkeus]

ahah.

I don't understand a half of what's going on.

My theory is that Usagi messed up big time when wising the sailors back in time, and Taiga somehow got her hand on the silver crystal.

[JohnWBiles]

Originally Posted by Arkeus

ahah.

I don't understand a half of what's going on.

My theory is that Usagi messed up big time when wising the sailors back in time, and Taiga somehow got her hand on the silver crystal.

I've messed with the canon of all three series some for this, so confusion is to be expected.

I will note that this story basically assumes that the reset at the end of season 1 of Sailor Moon was never undone so everyone stayed amnesiac of the events of that season until now. Beyond that, I can't go without spoilers.

The condition of Mai Hime canon is more complicated and spoilerific and this essentially is an alternate, VERY ALTERNATE path for Fate/Stay Night.

[JohnWBiles]

Akane knocked on the door, hoping her instincts were correct. A tall redheaded woman with a much better figure than hers answered the door, wearing a slinky dress made of fabric that resembled space with stars, nebulae, comets, and galaxies. Naru stared at the fabric, fascinated by it; Akane stared in confusion; this wasn't professor Tomoe! And Usagi told her stomach to shut up.

"Ahh, Waitress," the woman said coldly. She was extremely beautiful, but cold like someone had breathed on a marble statue and thus brought it to life. She then looked curiously at Usagi and Naru, then said, "Come in."

"Who are you?" Akane asked.

"I am Professor Tomoe's assistant, Mistress Kaolinite," she said cooly. "I run the estate while he handles the war."

Professor Tomoe lived in your classic giant gothic mansion with a perpetual thunder cloud over it. It looked big enough you could hold the entire Grail War IN IT if you wanted to.

"So you know..."

"Everything," she said, smiling darkly. She glanced at Naru and in a more conversational and friendly tone, she said, "Are you alright?"

"I'm sorry, I can't stop looking at the stars," Naru said, then looked embarrassed. "That sounds really stupid."

"Would you like some of the fabric?" Kaolinite asked kindly.

Naru's eyes widened. "Really? I don't know what it is about it, but I really like it."

"Come," Kaolinite said and led them to a parlor and sat them down. "I will inform Professor Tomoe you are here." She strode off into the mansion.

As they waited, a short girl, perhaps around age 12, stuck her head in; she had short dark hair and nervous eyes.

"Hi," Usagi said. "Are you Professor Tomoe's daughter?"

"I'm Hotaru," she said nervously.

Usagi came over, led her in and sat her down. "It's nice to meet you," she said, smiling.

"Hi," Akane said, though something about the girl made her nervous.

"It's nice to meet you," Naru said, though something about this girl made her feel nervous.

"Is Kaolinite your mother?" Usagi asked curiously.

Hotaru made a face. "No, Mother died in the last Grail War; she was a Master." She sighed.

"That's awful," Usagi said.

"This war is a terrible thing and you should run far, far away from it," Hotaru said urgently.

"It's too late for us," Akane said. "Naru could run but we'd just get chased." She sighed.

"Hello, everyone," Professor Tomoe, a tall, slender man with short white hair and thick glasses, said. He picked up Hotaru and hugged her, then said, "Go play with your DS9; I have to talk the War with these folk."

"It's a PS3, Daddy," Hotaru said.

"Whatever. Kaolinite got you what you wanted, right?"

"Yes, Daddy," Hotaru said sadly.

Usagi frowned, wondering what was going on.

Hotaru scampered off.

"She's a sweet girl, but she's used to having me all to herself," Professor Tomoe said apologetically as Kaolinite served tea and cakes.

Usagi forced herself to just take one and fought the strong urge to eat them all.

She looked up and Professor Tomoe was studying her. "I take it you are Waitress' Master?"

"Yes," Usagi said. "And this is my best friend Osaka Naru."

"I'll go get you some of that cloth, Osaka-san," Kaolinite said.

"Cloth?" Professor Tomoe asked in confusion.

"She likes my dress," Kaolinite said as if this was some sort of coded message.

Usagi frowned. Is something weird going on? She doesn't think Naru has a crush on her, does she? Then again, this is Naru, maybe she does. I've never seen her with a crush on an older WOMAN before, but people can be full of surprises.

"Oh, that's very generous of you, Kaolinite. Go right ahead," Professor Tomoe said, smiling.

Kaolinite departed.

"Usagi needs to know the rules of the Grail War," Akane said to Professor Tomoe.

"There are twelve masters and twelve servants chosen by the Grail," Professor Tomoe said. "They can see the Grail in the sky. When only one Master or one Servant remains active, the Grail will descend to that Master or to the Master of the Servant. The Servant then forces the Grail to manifest physically and the Master can use it to get three wishes. The Grand Miracles of the Grail can accomplish anything, even raise the dead." He twitched and took a deep draught of tea.

"Why didn't you enter the contest to bring your wife back?" Naru asked curiously. "My father died during the fire ten years ago and I would bring him back if I had access to a Grand Miracle." Her tone conveyed 'not that I will', though.

"I was chosen as the Arbiter of the War," he said sadly. "I cannot enter the Grail War," he said. "Also, if I lost, my Hotaru would be left parentless at only age 12. Losing one parent was hard enough on her," he said.

"This must be very hard for you," Usagi said sympathetically, sipping her tea.

"It is," he said, sighing. "Now, my home is neutral ground. There can be no fighting here and any Master who loses his or her Servant may take refuge here; likewise, a Master-less Servant may take refuge while trying to find a new Master," Professor Tomoe said, then ate a cake.

"So if one or the other dies, the survivor can pair off with someone else?" Usagi asked.

Professor Tomoe nodded. "Yes. Or they can just hide here. Most, however, want to press on if they can. At this point, eleven of the twelve masters chosen by the Grail have summoned their Servant. When the last one is chosen, the war officially begins."

"But I saw two of the Servants fighting already," Usagi said.

"Well, it's frowned on but some people do tend to jump the gun," Professor Tomoe said. "Which two?"

"A woman with a bow and a woman with a chain naginata thing," Usagi said.

"The woman with the naginata looked like the Student President of my old school, Fuuka," Akane said. "She must be Lancer and the other is Archer, right?"

"Yes," Professor Tomoe said. "Now, each Master has three Lesser Miracles of the Grail. These can be used to force the Servant to do something against their will or to empower Servants to transcend even their normal limits and accomplish impossible things like teleporting anywhere on Earth, instantaneous healing from hideous injuries, summoning the Servant to the Master from a distance and so on."

Well, now I know how I made everyone think Akane's from the future, Usagi thought. "What happens when you run out of them?"

"No more miracles and you had better hope your Servant likes you because you can't force them to obey. But a Master can only be totally eliminated from the war by death or taking refuge here. You can leave here freely if you come here, but if only one Master is outside the refuge, they win by default," Professor Tomoe said, sipping his tea.

"I'm not sure how exactly I summoned Akane," Usagi said. "Lancer attacked me and I begged the universe for help in a panic."

"Will is enough; all rituals augment and focus the will," Professor Tomoe said. "Mind you, the use of proper foci and rituals will vastly augment your native strength. If you possess something tied to a specific Heroic Spirit, you can summon the Servant of your choice if an appropriate Class for it is open. Otherwise, you get whichever one most closely fits to your personality or sometimes your needs. A sniper might get Saber to shield him while he picks people off, a professional kendoist might get someone who can blast people from a distance and so on," he continued.

Unable to resist her hunger, Usagi ate an entire donut in one bite. "I'm so stupidly hungry."

"You only have so much mana or prana, as it is called," Professor Tomoe said. "Sleep and food helps it regenerate, though proper rituals can speed this. Trained magi learn regeneration rituals which help them get mana back faster."

"Professor, I have a problem with my memories," Akane said to him. "I remember the last Grail War being only five years ago, but my memories insist it only happens every three hundred years."

Kaolinite now brought a wrapped package to Naru. "You can probably make a nice dress from this and have enough left for maybe a nice skirt or blouse extra," she said.

"That is VERY kind of you," Naru said. "I feel kind of bad taking this from you."

"It's okay," Kaolinite said. "It's just sitting, gathering dust."

Very generous, Usagi thought.

"There's a bit of a problem...someone keeps messing with the time stream with extremely powerful magic," Professor Tomoe said. "Several someones, including the winner of the last Grail War that didn't happen any more," he said.

"What?" Usagi asked, confused.

"Also, someone heavily rewrote history two years ago. Or tried. Or rewrote a lot of memories. Or something. Making a further mess," Professor Tomoe said. "People died and then were not dead. Buildings were destroyed, then not destroyed. It's not clear whether time looped back or memories were erased or what. Anyway, right now, the last Grail War happened ten years ago and any other Grail Wars that might have happened in previous iterations of history didn't, maybe."

"Maybe?" Naru asked.

"Why is the Grail War happening now if it only happens every three hundred years," Akane began.

"The damage done to history means we're not sure how often the Grail War has happened or who participated in it. The current consensus is that it probably last happened ten years ago, or at least my dear Himeko thought she was fighting in a Grail War." He frowned. "And got killed in it."

"Wait, the last one was ten years ago?" Naru asked, frowning.

"Yes. Himeko was slain during the war," he said, then twitched. He quickly drank more tea and ate a donut, then continued. "Saber's master blamed her for the fire which ravaged the city, so he killed her." He was very pale and tense now. Quickly, he drank more tea. This seemed to soothe him. "But it wasn't her fault. Assassin set the fire in order to frame her and get everyone to come after her. She was Caster's master." He buried his face in his hands.

"It's okay," Usagi said sympathetically, coming over and patting her shoulder. "You don't have to talk about it. So history has been messed up," she said.

"I think that's why so many people are coming here from the future; they're trying to figure out what messed up the past in order to fix it," he said. "But that's only speculation."

Usagi rubbed her forehead. I think I'm going to have to use one of the Greater Miracles to fix history. But would that kill all my friends again? If Rei is alive, I must have somehow brought them back to life...

"Who won the last war?" Naru asked, frowning deeply.

"Saber's master, the assassin, Emiya Kitsurugi," Professor Tomoe said. "He used her repeatedly as bait to draw out the other masters, then put a bullet through their brains with a sniper rifle," Professor Tomoe continued, shivering. He tried to drink some tea, but his cup was empty. "That's how Himeko died."

"I'm sorry," Usagi said. "Let's change topics, I know this is hurtful to you."

"There are always the same classes but different people are summoned to fill the roles, right?" Akane asked. "In fact...I seem to remember my Servant was more like a huge animal." She frowned, trying to make her memories line up coherently.

"Yes. It is possible that Servants from previous wars have been summoned this time," Professor Tomoe said. "And it would appear some former Masters are now appearing as Servants."

Naru's brain suddenly whirred about. "Emiya...is he related to Emiya Shirou?"

"Emiya Shirou is his son," Professor Tomoe said. "I can neither confirm nor deny he is one of the Masters in this war. You must learn that for yourself."

Usagi frowned. Shirou didn't seem like someone whose father went around murdering people.

"Who was Assassin's master?" Naru asked angrily.

"Kotomine Kirei, son of Kotomine Risei, who was the Arbiter of the last Grail War," Professor Tomoe said, still shaking a little. "I can neither confirm nor deny that he is a Master in this war." He twitched. "He was an expert of disguise magic, however, so even if you saw him, you might not recognize him."

Usagi frowned. He sounded really nasty. But Shirou's father...how...Shirou's not like that at all.

He's not.

She refused to believe it, but...no, no. Shirou's father had died years ago, anyway.

She rubbed her forehead. "So we have to figure out the other masters for ourselves," Usagi said. "But some of them might use disguise magic to pass as other people."

Professor Tomoe nodded. "Even someone you know and trust might be someone else. However, a Servant and his or her Master will always know each other despite any disguises. And a well trained Master can generally use magic to pierce disguises, given time and skill and effort."

"I hardly remember any magic; something erased most of my memories," Usagi confessed.

"I cannot help you there; my job is simply to arbitrate the Grail War and to provide sanctuary to defeated Masters and Servants," he said.

"My father...he wasn't a master in the last Grail War, was he?" Naru asked softly.

"What was his name?"

"Osaka Hayao," she said.

"He was Rider's master, but he and Rider didn't get along well and Rider basically abandoned him when he ran out of Lesser Miracles. She drove off on her motorcycle and left him behind. I know he somehow died, but I don't know how."

Naru now looked very angry. "Abandoned him?"

"As I said," Professor Tomoe said, "Once you use up your Lesser Miracles, you can't force your servant to obey you. Some Masters manage to alienate their Servants; in other cases, they summon Servants who want to do their own thing for whatever reason." He tried to drink from his empty glass again, but now Kaolinite came in with a full pitcher of tea and refilled everyone's glasses.

Usagi blinked in surprise, not having noticed her leaving. She frowned. "So Rider abandoned Naru's father to die?"

"I don't know the exact circumstances, but it does seem the case," Professor Tomoe said. "I guess she had her own private agenda. Once he was on his own, I expect one of the other masters, probably Emiya Kitsurugi, killed him."

"Who was she?" Naru demanded.

"She had long dark hair, not too tall, modest figure, fought with twin pistols," Professor Tomoe said. "If I had to guess, I would say she might well be Annie Oakley, but she never revealed her true name. It's important for a Servant to hide her true identity so people won't know her history, personality, and weakpoints. Or his."

Uh oh, Usagi thought.

Akane sweatdropped.

I don't know how, but somehow, I will MAKE THAT RIDER PAY, Naru thought darkly. "Why did Father end up with an unsuitable Servant?"

"I don't know," Professor Tomoe said. "Unless he told someone, he took that secret to the grave."

I'm going to have to push Mother, Naru thought, frowning.

Usagi came over and hugged Naru, catching her by surprise. Naru relaxed a little, but only a little. "It's okay," Usagi said to Naru. "You can cry."

"I don't want to cry, I want to scream," Naru said angrily. "I'm sorry, Professor Tomoe. I'm not mad at you."

"I understand," he said. "But you shouldn't endanger yourself trying to get revenge, Naru. Only Masters and Servants have a hope to survive in this war. And even many of them will not." His voice was kindly. "I would hate to see you get hurt."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you, Naru," Usagi said firmly. "I'm not losing anyone else."

"You're not a Master or a Servant, so they have no reason to attack you," Akane said, trying to be reassuring.

"You can always come here and take refuge, Osaka-san, if things get dangerous for you," Kaolinite said to Naru. "No one can hurt you here."

Professor Tomoe nodded. "Of course."

"Thank you," Usagi said.

"It is my duty as Arbiter," Professor Tomoe said. "Anyone who stays under my roof is safe from the War."

"I must admit I could use some help around here," Kaolinite said. "This house is so large."

"Thank you," Naru said.

"Well, that's as much as my brain will hold at one time," Usagi said. "And I am terribly hungry."

"Goodbye, then," Professor Tomoe said cheerfully. "Kaolinite will show you to the door."

Kaolinite took them to the door. She said to Naru, "Show me your dress when you make it; I'll be curious to see what you do with the cloth." She smiled warmly at Naru, completely different from her cold look when she'd first greeted them at this door.

Naru smiled back. "Thank you, I will. Goodbye."

They said their goodbyes and headed out.

**************

Mai and Taiga-sensei studied the square of dirt which had been under the pedestal of the Angel of Fuyuki. "It's gone," Taiga-sensei said sadly. "I kissed my first boyfriend for the first time in front of this statue. Unfortunately, the whole 'love for ever' rumor wasn't true." She sighed. Then put her hand on her shirt; the necklace rested under her clothing, under her hand. "It's giving off a little warmth, whatever that means."

"Not a clue," Mai confessed. "I can fly and set things on fire and summon a dragon and cook really well, but I'm not really a proper spellcaster. I don't know why I didn't end up as Waitress instead of Caster."

"It's okay, I don't know why I ended up as a teacher instead of something fancier either." She sighed. "You have these big dreams when you're a teenager, and then somehow you end up having to settle for something less and mundane and normal."

"I would be pretty happy to settle for mundane and normal," Mai said. "I can't even remember how I died and became a Heroic Spirit. I sort of remember fighting someone who took over my school to save everyone and fighting some monsters in the last Grail War, but I didn't do anything special." I couldn't even save my mother, she thought.

"You protected your little brother, right?" Taiga-sensei said.

"Yes. I always took care of him. I hope he's okay without me." She frowned.

"Hmm." Taiga-sensei had an idea.

For later.

Mai studied the ground. "There are no drag marks. No wheel tracks. How did they manage to carry it off?"

"Close your eyes," Taiga-sensei said thoughtfully.

Mai blinked, then closed her eyes.

Taiga-sensei walked forwards, arms extended. "See, I'm thinking maybe it's actually still here, just hidden by an illusion. But if I close my eyes, the illusion can't fool me."

She hit something solid with her fingertips. "Ahah! I was right!"

She opened her eyes; she'd walked past where the statue had stood and was now touching a tree. "Or not." She frowned. "Maybe your Dragon could track it somehow?"

"I don't want to summon him unless I have to. Anyone who knows my legend will recognize Kagatsuchi. Also, he's kind of hard to hide from normal people noticing us flying around on him," Mai said.

"But you're from the future, so no one here knows your legend," Taiga-sensei said.

"There's a lot of time travellers in this year for some reason," Mai said. "They might know. And there may be other Servants from my own time. Like maybe Akane." She frowned. "Though Akane was the exact opposite of a heroine when I knew her."

"Ouch," Taiga-sensei said, wincing.

"That's not bad, I just mean, she was kind of quiet and shy," Mai said. "So maybe not the opposite but not what you'd call a person to become a heroic spirit." But then, I wouldn't have really tagged myself that way either. I just wanted a normal life.

Taiga-sensei touched her necklace again. "Hey, magic necklace, make us something that will help us track where the statue went!"

She felt a sudden rush through her body and a pair of really gaudy red glasses appeared. Tiny yellow topazes were studded around the rims and the whole thing looked like a refugee from one of Elton John's tours in the seventies. Taiga-sensei put them on and now Mai glowed like a Christmas tree and she could see a powerful, though weaker, glow around her own body. She also felt her stomach rumble. "Dammit, I'm hungry, but we already cleaned up dinner before we came out here."

"We can hit a cafe," Mai said. "Are you sure it's healthy for you to eat so much?"

"I've always been like this," Taiga-sensei said. "I'm always either super-energetic and unstoppable or else I'm hungry and lethargic. And I never gain weight no matter how much I eat."

She studied the ground. "Hmm. Take a look at this," Taiga-sensei said, pointing at the ground. She could see very soft, fading glows which resembled giant toad feet. "Magical toad footprints."

"I don't see anything," Mai said.

Taiga-sensei passed her the glasses.

"Hey, there is no physical trace, but there are fading magical glows shaped like toad feet. A really giant toad."

"Perhaps it's the Child of one of the other Servants?" Taiga-sensei asked. "If it is this big, it could pick up the statue in its mouth and just hop off with it."

Toad...there had been some person who rode around on a toad in the last Grail War, Mai thought. "I think there was a Child like that in the last Grail War."

"Okay, we start circling, see where it jumped to and keep following the hops," Taiga-sensei said. "Sound like a plan?"

"Yes," Mai said.

They soon found another landing point and began making their way through the streets.

[JohnWBiles]

Usagi, Naru, and Akane had almost gotten to where Naru lived to drop her off before heading home to Usagi's when they came upon a little girl crying in her front yard.

"What's wrong, little lady?" Usagi asked her.

"A crazy lady turned my kitty into a monster and killed her!" she wailed.

Usagi blinked. "What?"

"She was a redhead with knives for fingers and she turned my kitty into a monster and killed her to steal a hairball from her!"

Naru said, "She's got to be imagining things, Usagi. Steal a hairball?"

Something about a cat... "What was his name?" Usagi asked.

"Rhett Butler," the girl said. "He was really nice, but kind of sluggish. But I loved him so much and now he's dead!"

Usagi frowned. This sounded familiar. She wished she could remember everything better but she didn't dare mess around with her Lesser Miracles again unless she had to.

"And this other crazy lady got in a fight with the knife lady, trying to shoot her and now my tricycle is dead too!" the girl wailed.

Naru's eyes widened. "With guns?"

"She had two pistols and long dark hair and wore a racing outfit," the little girl said.

Naru felt her nerves jangle. "Did either of them have a name?"

"The knife lady's name was a bad word and the lady on the motorcycle with the guns was 'Rider', but the knife lady also called her something bad."

"What bad words?" Akane asked. "I hate to ask but we need to know."

"Rider called the knife lady something bad about her butt and also a whore," the little girl said. "Whatever a whore is, but it sounded bad and made her angry. And Ass lady called Rider a 'bitch'."

"Asssassin. Was that it?" Akane asked.

"Yes," the girl asked. "What does that mean?"

"It's someone who kills people for a living," Akane said. "It's a very bad person."

"Knives for fingers...did she wear a hat and a striped shirt?" Usagi asked.

"Yes," the little girl said.

Usagi frowned. "I'm sorry about your kitty," she told the girl, kneeling down and taking her hands. "I used to have a kitty too, but she ran away."

"I don't know what to do but cry," the little girl said, crying some more. "Mommy won't believe me any of it happened."

Usagi spent a while comforting her, then they moved on. "This could be ugly," she said.

"Why the hell would a cat turn into a monster or two of the Servants kill it and fight over the body?" Naru asked.

"I think Assassin must be Freddy Kruger," Usagi said, looking nervous. "In disguise as a woman."

"Professor Tomoe did say some people use disguise magic," Akane said. "But wouldn't the hat and the knives and the striped shirt give him away?"

"See, he needs those to use his powers to fight, right?" Usagi said. "You have your tiger and your tonfas and your waitress uniform as your special items that let you use your full power, and so the hat and the shirt and the knives must be his. And so he had to bust them out despite his disguise in order to fight Rider."

"Rider," Naru said angrily. "I wonder who she's betraying this time."

"Naru-chan," Usagi said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"It's okay, I won't do anything stupid. I'd just die," Naru said with bitter frustration.

"Why don't you stay over tonight?" Usagi asked.

"It's okay," Naru said. "I want to get started making a dress with the fabric Kaolinite-san gave me."

"Okay," Usagi said. "I bet it will be really pretty."

Naru forced a smile. "I'm sure it will."

They said goodbye and parted.

*****************

"Eeeee!" Yukino said, then closed her eyes, turning red. The mirrors floating around her suddenly dissolved.

"What's wrong?" Michiru said, suddenly worried.

They were sitting on a roof in one of Fuyuki City's residential neighborhoods. Michiru and Haruka and Natsuki were keeping watch while Yukino scried. Unfortunately, the scrying had just failed.

"She went into a whore house and there were naked women everywhere and I got all flustered and I shouldn't look at naked women!," Yukino said frantically. "They make me feel funny."

Natsuki slapped her forehead. "You're a woman yourself you know!"

Haruka said, "You idiot!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mother taught me not to spy on people when they're naked even if it feels good and there were so many naked women even if they weren't as pretty as Haruka," Yukino babbled.

"Thank you for the compliment," Haruka said. "But we have to find where Assassin's master is! Especially since she just carried off a major mana matrix!"

"There are six more," Michiru said. "We'll get the next one."

"Yes, but if she knows how to use those...what if she's actually Caster?" Haruka asked.

They both shivered.

"That was Nao," Natsuki said. "If she's a spellcaster, I will eat my hat."

"You don't have a hat," Yukino said hesitantly. "And I actually meant the real Haruka." Beat. "I mean, my friend Haruka."

"Please stop acting like I'm not really named Haruka," Haruka said irritably. "Your girlfriend is back in the future."

"She's not my girlfriend!," Yukino said frantically. "We're just best friends!"

"Just start scrying for the other six," Michiru said to Yukino. "Okay?"

"Okay," Yukino said and concentrated, resummoning her Child, Diana and deploying Diana's spy spores. As Seer, Yukino was first in Scrying but not good for much else. But with Haruka, Michiru, and Natsuki backing her up, this made her a huge asset to their team.

"I wonder if she knew she was being followed and did that deliberately," Haruka said.

"During the last Grail War, Nao used her Servant to rob men by posing as a young prostitute," Natsuki said with distaste. "Maybe her master is a pimp. That whorehouse could be her master's home base."

"Perhaps we should take out Illyasviel Einzbern while we're waiting for the scrying results," Michiru said. "She's from one of the Great Families. Either she'll know who her family has chosen or she is the one her family chose to be their proxy for the war."

"Do you have any idea how to find her?" Haruka said. "I'm game, but if Yukino is busy scrying for matrixes, unless Illyasviel has one of them, how will we find her?"

"It'll take a while to set up, but I have a plan," Michiru said. "Let me make a few phone calls. Money does have its advantages."

***************

"There's a simple reason why your summoning keeps failing," Professor Tomoe said to Rei Hino. "Everyone in this town is afraid of fire after the disaster in the last war and it's interfering with the sacred fire's power. The result is that you're jamming up your own magical circuits and thus can't tap your powers well." He handed her a bouquet of black, yellow, and white roses. "Burn these; it will clear your circuits and enable a successful summoning. Also..." He gestured to Kaolinite, who passed a folded dress to Rei. "You can wear this."

"What is it?"

"It belonged to a heroic Miko spirit," he said. "This should help you summon her."

"Thank you," Rei said.

"I am glad to help. The war cannot properly begin until you summon the twelfth Servant," he told her. "Good luck."

"Thank you, sensei," she said. "I will let you know when I succeed."

"I will know," he said. "I have a room which measures the progress of the war. I can't show you, as Masters are not allowed to know everything I'm privy to, but I will sense when you succeed."

She nodded. "Of course, sensei. See you later, then."

"Good luck," Kaolinite said. "We're counting on you."

Just a little longer, Usagi, Rei thought. I'll make it up to you once I win this war. I promise you that. But I have to prevent another Great Fire and save the world.

She was determined not to fail.

**************

Naru sewed furiously, though she wasn't sure exactly why it was so important to make this dress. But she wanted it so much. Also, it kept her from going out and doing anything stupid.

Yelling at her mother hadn't accomplished anything. Her mother STILL wouldn't talk about it. But now she was crying in her bedroom. Part of Naru felt guilty, but mostly, she just felt angry.

So she kept sewing as if her life depended on it.

******************

"I don't even know how to start," Akane confessed to Usagi. "I got picked off within minutes of accepting being a Master in the last Grail War. I tried to save a classmate from a monster and she turned out to be another Master, or maybe a Servant and killed me." She shivered. "I don't feel very heroic."

"Neither do I, but you risked your life for a friend," Usagi said. "And that makes you a real heroine, even if you got betrayed." She hugged Akane tightly. "I think tomorrow, we should stay after school and poke around and see if we can find where Lancer or Archer might be hiding. Lancer is really crazy, so we need to deal with her."

"I will do my best," Akane said. "But she kind of scared me."

"Me too," Usagi confessed. "But we have to fight even though we're afraid."

I'm not as brave as you are, Akane thought. But I'll do my best.

****************

Taiga-sensei frowned. They'd totally lost the trail; the footsteps led away from where the angel had been, yet they got fainter and fainter as they left that spot. Surely the frog hadn't hopped backwards to the angel's location and then teleported or something.

"This is so much easier on CSI," Taiga-sensei said.

"I don't have any sunglasses to put on and say something pithy, unfortunately," Mai said, then laughed.

"Damn, that man is hot," Taiga-sensei said. "Too old for me, but hot."

"Maybe we'd better go make sure Shirou is okay if we've flopped here," Mai said, sighing.

"Good idea. The boy gets up to crazy things if I leave him alone for too long."

***************

"I hate to drive you out, Sakura, but it's getting pretty late," Shirou said, looking up from his homework.

He and Sakura were busy doing their homework together, which meant sometimes he helped her (being a grade ahead) and sometimes they both just worked quietly, talking a little at times. This was their usual evening ritual.

She yawned. "Can't I sleep here?"

"People would talk; I would hate to see your reputation hurt, Sakura," Shirou told her.

"Everyone hates me anyway," she said dolefully.

"No, they don't," Shirou said. "I'm sure everyone likes you as much as I do."

She smiled brightly, shyly at that. "Thank you."

"But Shinji will worry if you don't get home soon," Shirou said.

"Do I have to go," Sakura begged. "Please let me stay."

Shirou stared in surprise. "Sakura, what's wrong?"

"There had better not be any hanky-panky I wasn't invited to join going on!," Taiga-sensei said, coming in the front door.

Sakura and Shirou both turned to figurative stone.

"Just kidding," Taiga-sensei said, laughing. "But it's time for Shirou to go bathe and go to bed. Do you want me to walk you home, Sakura?"

"Can I stay, please?" Sakura begged. "It's really late and Shinji will be mad I stayed out so late, but he can't complain if I stayed with you, sensei."

"Okay, I'll tell him I'm tutoring you," Taiga-sensei said. "And you have to stay for special lessons. You can come bathe with Mai and I while Shirou cleans up, then he can take his bath."

"Thank you, sensei," Sakura said with relief.

Pretty soon they were in the baths, getting clean. Mai was finished first. "Would you like me to wash your hair, Sakura?"

"Okay," Sakura said softly and Mai went to work. Taiga-sensei helped her.

"I can't let you do anything naughty with Shirou tonight," Taiga-sensei said. "But if you're very good, I'll let you peep on him a little."

Sakura turned red and mumbled incoherently.

"I know you like him," Taiga-sensei said. "And I approve. You're a good girl and I think you two will be very happy once he pulls his head out of his ass and notices."

Sakura mumbled something incoherent about her brother. Mai got a brush and began working the kinks out of Sakura's hair. "You have beautiful hair," Mai said to her.

"Thank you," Sakura said weakly. "I'm kind of skinny; you have a better figure."

"I think Shirou likes you just the way you are," Mai said. "He's a nice boy."

"He's wonderful," Sakura mumbled.

"Have you seen anything strange at school?" Taiga-sensei asked her.

"Having all these people from the future show up is kind of strange," Sakura said. "The new history teacher is from the future."

"Suguira-sensei?" Taiga-sensei asked.

Mai's breath caught. "She taught at Fuuka!"

"Is she good?" Taiga-sensei asked curiously.

"She's very good, but..." Mai tapped the three tigers on Taiga-sensei's arms.

This drew Sakura's attention. She stared, eyes wide. "What's that?"

"My lucky tiger tattoos," Taiga-sensei said hastily. "I need to get a fourth one since I'm fourth dan now."

Sakura shivered, then said, "I see."

They finished her hair and got into the hot water to relax. "Hey, Shirou, are you peeping on us?" Taiga-sensei shouted.

Sakura froze up.

The reply was incoherent due to distance and intervening walls. Taiga-sensei sighed. "That boy is too shy for his own good."

"You want him to peep?" Sakura asked in disbelief.

"Two beautiful young women with very nice bodies his own age are butt naked and wet and he isn't even trying to peep," Taiga-sensei said. "Something's wrong with that boy."

"It means he's a gentleman," Mai said. "It's good he's not a peeper, right, Sakura?"

"Yes," Sakura said softly. "I don't like boys who do bad things to girls." She shivered.

"Are you cold?" Taiga-sensei said. "Mai, flank her, we will warm her with our bodies."

Sakura's eyes widened.

Things ensued which would be fanservice if you could see this. You can't, so we'll move on.

**************

[Jonen C]

Things ensued which would be fanservice if you could see this. You can't, so we'll move on.

Curse you, written medium!

[JohnWBiles]

Rin looked over at Archer as they knealt before the altar. "If he figures out I'm a magus, we're in trouble," she whispered. "The Christian church and the Mages' Association are on bad terms."

"Anyone who has not confessed their sins and done atonement will never find the Grail," Archer said a little primly.

"What? I've never heard that," Rin said, glancing back down the aisle. The priest was busy sweeping the foyer.

"Everyone knows that. Haven't you ever read anything about the Holy Grail?" Archer asked.

"My family helped MAKE the Grail," Rin said urgently under her breath, glancing back again.

She could hear the priest talking to someone outside and now he stepped outside. Rin felt very nervous.

"Then it is a fake Grail, not worth pursuing," Archer said. "I became a Master in order to seek the True Grail."

"There is no other Grail but this one," Rin said. "Are you talking about all that Arthurian crap?"

"Language," Archer said, touching her lips. "Do not curse in the House of God."

Now I know why a nun became a Master, Rin thought. She was A FOOL. "King Arthur never existed, or if he did, he was just some petty British warlord."

Distantly, Saber sneezed.

Too far away for them to ever notice.

They now heard the priest scream a cry of unearthly agony.

Then there was a horrible noise and fire jetted in the doors of the church, setting the foyer and the front of the church ablaze.

Rin stared in horror. Was this Caster attacking? Had Caster just burned a priest alive?

"NO!" Archer shouted, charging forwards. Her bow appeared and she ran full tilt at the fire.

"Are you crazy! Don't run into the flames!" Rin shouted. She pulled out one of her gems, hurling it to blow up the wooden benches between Archer and the fire. This way it could only spread on the wooden rafters, and not through the heart of the church, since the main body of the church was mostly stone.

The ceiling groaned as Archer plunged into the flames, shouting in anger.

Rin now realized the wooden rafters...were holding up the ceiling. And now they were burning, though not so vigorously as the foyer. There was a horrible, hideous chemical smell coming from the foyer; the foyer was wooden, yet it smelled like burning chemicals for some reason.

Maybe even burning gasoline.

UGH.

She ran to the side door and circled around, another of her gems ready in case she needed it. There was fire across part of the graveyard outside and the charred remains of the priest; there was an odd hole in the middle of his chest, as if someone had ripped out his heart.

She grimaced. Had some Servant killed him for his mana? He'd seemed like a kindly man, for all that Magi and Priests rarely got along well. And now he'd been murdered for the pitiful amount of mana that an ordinary human could provide. Who had done this? Assassin? Caster? Caster and Caster's Master had gone completely insane and tried to destroy the city in the previous war. Saber's Master, the champion of the Einzbern, had been forced to put down both of them. Not that he wouldn't have done it eventually anyway, given this was the Grail War, but the Arbiter had offered extra Lesser Miracles to whoever killed Caster and Caster's Master for unleashing the fire on everything.

Archer was running around the graveyard angrily, but there was no sign of whoever did this.

Rin sighed and began a difficult spell to douse the flames. She was good at energy control but this fire was large and hard to control. Still, for a mage of her skills, it was only a question of time.

By the time she finished, Archer returned, still angry but calmer in her wrath. "We have to find who did this," Archer said.

"We have to bury him; his manner of death might tell the authorities too much and the Grail War is supposed to be secret," Rin said. "Then we will consult with Professor Tomoe, just to be sure."

Did Caster do this? Had something gone wrong with the Caster class? Was every Grail War going to feature Caster going on mad fire sprees?

And who was Caster? Archer insisted Mai was one of the students from Fuuka and had been a Master in that war, not Lucrezia Borgia. So she probably wasn't Assassin. But it was also possible Mai wasn't the real master, but a Servant in that war too. It was still a possibility. Mai did apparently have fire powers and a dragon...was this the smell of dragon fire? But Mai had seemed so...cheerful. And why would she murder a priest? Unless she'd gone mad the way Lancer apparently had—Lancer had been the Student Body President at Fuuka...or was she actually LANCER? Maybe it was a bluff and she was really Caster and totally insane. Or this was Lancer who did this and the fire was a trick by Lancer to frame Caster. Hoping the Arbiter would call down a crusade on Caster again.

That has to be it. Lancer looked seriously disturbed, Rin thought.

Well, one way or another, I need to report this.

Archer frowned. "Couldn't we find the guilty party with one of your Lesser Miracles?"

"I'd rather save those for emergencies," Rin said. "Let's bury this poor man and go see Professor Tomoe."

Archer sighed and pulled out her crucifix, which hung on a silver chain. She prayed silently for a few seconds. "Poor man. Looks like something impaled him."

Definitely Lancer, Rin thought. Hoping the corpse would burn up enough to hide the evidence. Probably had no clue we were here.

Clever, Rin thought, but not clever enough to fool me.

I'm not the genius mage guardian of Fuyuki and heir to the Tohsaka Crest for nothing, after all.

*************

Shirou woke up in agony, his body sliced open in multiple places, blood spilling out. A woman stood over him, a slender redheaded woman with a clawed glove on one hand, a jaunty cap on her head, wearing blue jeans and a striped white and pink shirt. She was licking HIS blood off the blades. He noticed he was tied down with red threads.

"Don't worry, Shirou," she said. "I'm only here to kill you and your teacher girlfriend, Taiga-sensei. If you'd been content to be faithful to her and not to hit on other women, I wouldn't have to kill you. I'd still have to kill her, but that's what she gets for being an idiot," the woman said.

"No, I can't let you kill Fuji-nee," he said, desperately struggling against the threads.

"Just relax. You can't escape my threads and these wounds won't kill you. I have to take you back to my Master alive. That's how he wants you, so he can do the job himself. But I wanted to make sure you wouldn't interfere with your silly hero complex." She held her blades over Shirou's head, letting a single drop of his own blood fall onto Shirou's forehead. "You are the son of a mage and there's that small chance you might somehow wreck my plans. I don't like surprises, unless I'm giving them."

"Please, just kill me if you have to, don't hurt Fuji-nee," Shirou begged; he couldn't get free, but maybe he could talk her out of killing the person most important to him in the world, his oldest friend. She was family to him and if she died, most of what was left of him after the Great Fire would die too.

"Oh, she has to die. She is a Master and this is the Grail War. She knew the risks. And now she will pay. I suggest you pray. Just in case the gods exist, though I doubt it. Don't go anywhere." She laughed and turned to go.

"Who are you?" Shirou asked. "Grail War? Master?"

"She hasn't told you? Then again, you're so useless, she probably didn't see the point," the woman said. "As for who I am..." She licked another blade clean. "I am Assassin. Don't worry, I won't hurt Sakura. Orders are orders, even if she's even more of a loser than you." She sighed. "He even burned a Lesser Miracle in order to ensure I couldn't kill her. That's devotion. Now, you relax and get used to the feeling of blood leaving your body, since pretty soon you'll lose the rest too." She left the room.

No, no, no, NO, Shirou thought. I can't let Fuji-nee die! And what is she going to do to Sakura? He didn't trust her to be telling the truth. Lesser Miracle? What the hell was she talking about? The woman was clearly insane just like...

Had that been real? But why am I still alive, then?

He heard yelling and screaming and shouting now and then he smelled something. FIRE.

For a moment, all he could do was scream and then fear washed over him. My parents! Fuji-nee! Sakura! Mai-san! We're all going to die!

His second father had died too and now Shirou was going to join him and he would never even strike one blow for justice before he died.

Please! Father! If there is any magic you can do from beyond the grave, save Fuji-nee. I don't care if I die. Just help her.

He felt something strange inside him, like when he tried to practice his magics, but a hundredfold. A thousandfold. Like when he cooked, too, he now realized, but much more potent.

He heard a gentle whisper. so your heart hungers for justice?

Was that Suguira-sensei? What was she doing here? "Save Fuji-nee and Sakura and Mai-san! There's a crazy woman!"

The red cords on him were magic, he realized. He could sense the power flowing through them. And their weak points. Instinctively, he called upon his one good magic, Reinforce. But Reinforce could be used to find weak points too. "I'll find my own way out of this. Just save her! This is going to take me a while."

then I accept your summons and contract, she whispered. Three rectangles appeared on the inside of his right arm, paralleling the many scars and burns which formed a tangle on the inside of his left arm. Careful inspection would have shown the marks resembled a sword sheath, but he had other things on his mind.

There was a blazing of light and now a woman appeared, Suguira-sensei, but armed with a huge pinkish axe. "Let me get you loose so you can treat your wounds, master."

"I'll be okay! Go save them!"

Suguira-sensei smiled at him. "You are a brave man," she said and crashed through the door. "Heeeere's Johnny!" she shouted, then charged out of sight.

"..."

He could hear smashing and crashing sounds and smelled more fire and was close to crapping himself as people yelled and screamed.

He could see the weakspots in the cords binding him. So he extended his will to weaken one of those points further. He pushed and pushed and pushed, until it began to waver, fading in and out, and then he pulled his shirt up around one hand and reinforced the shirt and drove it into the weakpoint, snapping it.

Inch by inch, point by point, he slowly freed himself, though he was in great pain and the fire was bringing him close to raving insanity. Even if he could only smell it.

He was free. He was free.

He staggered to the door. "Fuji-nee, I'm coming," he said.

Sakura now ran up to him. "Shirou-kun!"

He fell into her arms. "You're okay," he mumbled.

"Suguira-sensei and Mai-sempai are fighting the crazy woman," Sakura said.

"Is Fuji-nee okay?" he mumbled.

"Taiga-sensei is running around shouting and trying to help," Sakura said.

I can die now, knowing she's safe too, Shirou thought. "I think I'm going to bleed some more now."

He then passed out.

****************

"I will take this into advisement," Professor Tomoe said to Rin. "It's possible this is just some mundane nutcase too. Good luck."

A chime began to ring, and it tolled twelve times.

Rin checked her watch; it was now 1 AM. "I think you forgot to reset your clock for Daylight Savings Time, Professor Tomoe."

"That is the Cloister Bell. The last Servant has been summoned. The War has now officially begun."

"So no more Servants can be summoned, right?" Rin asked.

"Yes, all the Servants allowed by the Rules are now in the field, one of each class," Professor Tomoe said.

"I guess I can't ask which one," Rin said.

"I'm afraid not," Professor Tomoe said. "The Grail always chooses one Matou, one Tohsaka, and one Einzbern, but beyond that, you're on your own to deduce."

"Either Shinji or his grandfather, Matou Zouken. Sakura would make a terrible master," Rin said. Probably Matou-sama, for all his age. And one of Illyasviel's relatives is probably running around as a Master, using her as bait to draw out his rivals. I won't fall into that trap. Without a good lead on the church burning, I think I'd best poke my nose discreetly into the Matou clan.

Discreetly.

[Arkeus]

sniff.

Poor Rei. Was hoping Shirou wouldn't get to be a master.

[JohnWBiles]

Rei continued to wave her prayer rod in front of the sacred fire with grim determination. She was exhausted, sweat was pouring off her from the heat and she was close to collapse from dehydration. But she would NOT give up.

And then she saw it, the Grail appearing where the Angel of Fuyuki City had once stood, and two people stood there, a pale-haired woman of middling height with a white sword coming out of her right elbow instead of a forearm, and a young blonde girl with spikey hair. The former woman took the Grail and passed it to the young girl, who spoke, and then the entire world caught fire and burned and burned and burned....

"NO!!!!!" Rei shouted. "I WILL NOT ALLOW IT!"

And as the anger burned white hot within her heart, the sacred flame roared up in a great pillar and a young girl with her hair done up in four long squiddy-tentacles, wearing the same wedding dress Rei was wearing, stepped out of the flames, holding a flute. "I am Munakata Shiho, the Servant known as Miko." She kneeled before Rei. "Like you, I burn. Please accept my pledge of service."

"I accept. Together, we will find the grail and save this world."

"I accept," Shiho said. "Together, we will find the grail and destroy our enemies with the fire we share."

Three ravens now appeared on Rei's right arm. "Call your Steed, Shiho. We have to go to the city center." Probably that was a possible war ending, but Rei intended to take no chances.

"I hear and obey, big sister," Shiho said and began to play her flute. A huge one-legged raven appeared and they mounted up and flew out of the temple and across the city.

*****************

The cloister bell began to ring again, and Professor Tomoe smiled. "Just as I thought, Kaolinite."

"That the rule was arbitrary?" she asked.

"Exactly," he said. "Now the game really begins."

*****************


Shingo looked up at the giant raven. "Holy shit."

"Crap," Akira said to Shingo, then tossed him over one shoulder and dropped down to the alley level, running at high speed.

"Hey, the museum is the other way!"

"That thing killed Gennai during the last Grail War and I lost Takumi," Akira said frantically, completely panicked. "I can't...we have to hide!"

Shingo frowned. "Its Master killed your boyfriend during the last Grail War?"

"He wasn't...Takumi..." Akira was becoming more and more frantic.

Shingo's face darkened. "Then it has to be stopped."

"I can't beat it. I'm not good enough," Akira said, sounding utterly frustrated and shamed.

"I've got these," Shingo said, peeling back the sleeve of his shirt to reveal three brown bunnies on his right arm. "You can do impossible deeds with these, right?"

Akira licked her lips nervously. "Yes, but won't the Crow's Master have those also?"

Shingo frowned. "Well, let's follow it. Maybe we'll get an opportunity. If nothing else, at least you'll learn who beat you, right?"

"The Crow might not have the same Master," Akira pointed out as they reversed course and began following it.

"Or it could be the Crow's Master is now a servant like you," Shingo pointed out. "It won't hurt to look."

"You don't have to do this for me. I am the Servant," Akira began.

"I do have to do this for you. What happened to you was bullshit and I won't tolerate bullshit," Shingo said flatly.

Akira smiled a tiny smile as she ran along, carrying Shingo, as they pursued the giant crow.

****************
There was no sign of the grail or any short girls with spikey hair or taller ones with a sword for an arm. "The girl sounds kind of like Alyssa Sears," Shiho said to Rei. "But I don't remember any girls with swords for arms."

"That's probably Saber," Rei said. She could sense fading amounts of spiritual energy here, but it was pretty clear to her now that her vision was a future event.

Which she had to stop.

"Do you have a boyfriend, sempai?" Shiho asked.

"I had one, but I lost him to my best friend," Rei said softly. "And now neither of them remember each other or me."

Shiho grimaced. "That's terrible. She stole your boyfriend?" She looked around as if hoping said best friend would come by for a beating.

"It was destiny," Rei said, then sighed. "But I have to stop the destruction of the world before I can think about a boyfriend."

"There is no such thing as destiny," Shiho said gloomily. "That's just a lie people use to justify stealing boyfriends. We ought to go beat her up."

"She doesn't even remember it or him now," Rei said. "We all died fighting Beryl and she turned back time with the Silver Crystal and none of it ever happened which meant he never dated me or loved her."

Shiho's eyes widened. "Tell me about this."

They mounted up to head home and Rei told her about it all on the way home.

******************

The first thing Shirou heard when he woke up was the TV in the living room. "The Kazahana estate has burned to the ground, killing Kazahana Mashiro, the reclusive young heiress and her entire personal staff. Coupled with the burning of a Christian chapel and the death of its priest, many fear that some pyromaniac is on the loose," the newscaster said.

Shirou then realized his head was on a lap. Sakura's. He was now wearing blue silk pajamas he hadn't gone to bed in and while he was UTTERLY STARVING, he nevertheless felt no pain and could see no sign of any of the injuries he'd suffered the previous night.

Sakura was somehow sleeping while sitting Indian-style with his head on her legs. He tried to rise without waking her, but she stirred. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.

"I'm fine, are you okay? Is everyone okay?" he asked. Maybe I just had a nightmare and Sakura came in to hold me so I would sleep peacefully.

Instead of acrid smoke, he smelled tasty food and his stomach rumbled.

Sakura giggled. He couldn't help but laugh.

"Everyone is fine and Mai-san is cooking breakfast with Taiga-sensei and Suguira-sensei."

It was real, he realized.

What was going on?

Sakura led him out to the kitchen, where cooking was in progress. His stomach grumbled to announce his presence.

"Don't worry, the breakfast okonomiyaki are almost ready for toppings," Mai said. She was cooking that while the two teachers prepped the toppings.

Pretty soon, Shirou was stuffing his face. Once his hunger subsided, he asked, "What is going on?"

"I am Chariot," Suguira-sensei said. "But in the fourth festival, I was Rider." She sighed. "Things didn't go well for me."

"You do realize I have no idea what any of that means, right?" Shirou asked Suguira-sensei.

Sakura now cut a piece of okonomiyaki and tried to feed him; he let her and she smiled.

"Okay, your adoptive father, Emiya Shirou, fought in the Grail War, as the master of Saber," Suguira-sensei said. "He took down Caster and Caster's master, who tried to set the city ablaze for some reason. And saved you from the fire."

"What? Saber? Caster?" Shirou asked.

Chariot rubbed her forehead. This was going to take a while.

*****************

"Wake up, slee...AAAAA!" Usagi said.

She'd opened the door to Shingo's room to make him get up for breakfast when suddenly there was a short, dark haired boy in her face, about to put a knife to her throat.

She stumbled back and he jumped back, looking embarrassed. "I am SO SORRY, cousin Usagi," Akira said, putting away the knife and bowing. "I didn't realize you actually get up in the morning so I thought it must be an intruder!"

Usagi rubbed her forehead. Her cousin Akira from the future was a little prone to respond dangerously to being surprised. "Please wake up Shingo; Mom wants him to actually eat and go to school on time at least once this week."

"I will ensure he gets out of bed," Akira said, hefting a pillow.

"Thanks," Usagi said. She headed off to breakfast. Hopefully Akira will knock some discipline into that boy, because heaven knows, no one from this century can.

*****************

"Maybe you should go home and sleep today," Usagi said to Naru, who resembled a zombie.

Akane, Naru, and Usagi were walking to school together.

"I'm fine," Naru said. "I just have to try it on and adjust it. I worked all night on my new dress."

"Oh wow, I bet it's beautiful," Usagi said.

"It is," Naru said proudly. "I wish we didn't have a uniform so I could wear it to school."

"We're going to stay late and look for any other Servants or Masters, like Lancer, who might be lurking around the school," Akane said to Naru.

"I'm going to go home and work on my dress. Good luck," Naru said. "And if you see Rider, kill her for me," she said, her voice turning vicious.

Usagi frowned, then said, "We'll see if we can find out what happened, Naru-chan."

"Thanks," Naru said. "Mom just cried when I tried to get the truth from her." She grimaced.

Usagi put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. Mom just hasn't been the same the last few years. She never fully recovered from Dad's death, but it got worse about two years ago. I don't even know why."

Usagi had a flash of killing a monster that looked like Naru's mother. Surely not, she thought. Anyway, she's alive.

Like Rei, who Usagi had seen die.

Usagi grimaced. I can fix everything, once I end this war, she thought. I have to. Please don't let me have had to kill Naru's mother. PLEASE.

************

"And that is how the Grail War works," Suguira-sensei concluded. "This may be the Fifth Grail War, or at least in the current time line, it is. However, there is evidence showing it was once called 'The Festival' and revolved around the now dead god, the Obsidian Lord...," she began.

Shirou's eyes were glazing over. Sakura had collapsed under the weight of the knowledge and Mai had fallen asleep, her head in Taiga-sensei's lap. "Which is where you and Mai fought," Taiga-sensei said.

"Reality has changed at least a dozen times in major ways that I can determine and there may have been several dozen more," Suguira-sensei said. "I'm not sure how many of us fought in the Festival, but I think some of those involved and maybe some others, ended up somehow as Heroic Spirits and got summoned for the last war and this one. But not everyone in the last one was from Fuuka in the future. Or the past. Or however things SHOULD have worked. But I have a feeling every Grail War ends with a massive reality rewrite and reality is starting to creak at the seams from all the changes. We have to break this cycle or the universe is eventually going to just shatter. I don't know what will follow that but frankly, I don't want to find out."

"If I was a better mage, I could probably stop that happening with Reinforce," Shirou said, feeling guilty he'd never properly mastered the spell. "But I've never been very good at it."

"I don't know if any mage could stop it no matter how good they were, though I suppose with enough skill and prana, you could save some of the universe," Suguira-sensei said.

"It's not going to break yet," Taiga-sensei said.

"I just wish I knew what I was doing better," Shirou said.

"Look, after school, we'll come back and experiment on you," Taiga-sensei said. "Maybe between us all we can figure out how to help you, since it's too late for you to back out."

"Damnation, we are going to have to drive like crazy," Suguira-sensei said. "But before we can deal with Assassin, we definitely need to get you up to snuff. And put up better defenses here."

Taiga-sensei gently laid Mai down. "To the Taiga-mobile! Time to actually use my car for once!"

Shirou prayed he wasn't about to lose all the food he just ate.

*****************

"Wards on the Archery Dojo," Rin said. "Either a trap or Lancer's base, I suspect."

They were on the roof of the school, studying the buildings while class was in session.

Archer blinked. "Lancer is based in the Archery Dojo?"

"Maybe. It could be a trap or someone else. It is odd that an Archer summoned Lancer," Rin said. "But that adds to the odds that Shinji is the master. As he's vice-captain of the Archery team. Once school is over, we're taking him down."

"Do you think maybe his sister knows something?" Archer asked. "Perhaps you should subtly inquire with her."

"I don't think she'll betray her brother. On the other hand, subtle inquiries wouldn't hurt, I think."

Rin had brought two lunches. Perhaps I could invite Sakura to lunch; Shirou probably brought his own, anyway.

Yes, that was definitely a good idea.

***************

"Thank you for sharing, sempai," Sakura said kindly to Rin as they ate together under a tree. Rin had made her patented unagi with eel, cucumber, celery, rice, and peppers. She was quite looking forward to it; the white sauce was an excellent addition to the traditional family recipe.

Sakura took one bite and her eyes crossed. She then said, "Interesting choice of sauce, sempai."

Rin took a big bite, chewing slowly and delicately. "I love it."

"How is your day?" Sakura asked politely as she ate and drank tea; she'd sprung for nice iced tea in a can for each of them since Rin had bought the food.

"Very good. How is your brother doing? Is his club well?"

"Very well," Sakura said. "His new ladyfriend is a little creepy but he seems to like them that way."

"New ladyfriend?" Rin asked casually, working on her food.

Sakura ate slowly and delicately, taking small sips of tea; you could barely hear her eat. "He stays late at school with her, says he's training her in archery." Those who knew Sakura well could sense she as dubious of this; Rin could tell thanks to her hearing what she expected to hear and it lining up with reality, conveniently.

"Night after night?" Rin asked.

"I think so. I'm usually at Shirou-sempai's place," Sakura said.

"Is...Are Taiga-sensei and Emiya-san well?" Rin asked.

"Very good," Sakura said. "But Emiya-san is rather tired; we wore him out yesterday."

Rin smiled. "Good. I expect you'll be there after school?"

"Oh yes," she said.

Good, Rin thought. While Sakura did not impress her, there was no point in risking her getting hurt when it came time to deal with Shinji.

And that time was now.

***************

"A new all-you-can-eat restaurant?" Usagi asked Michiru gleefully.

"Yes. Since the old one in town went bankrupt due to those foreign girls," Michiru said. "Spread the word, won't you?"

"I know where I am dining tonight," Usagi said gleefully.

"We have to stay after school, remember?" Akane said to Usagi.

"But..."

"We have to stay after school," Akane said flatly.

"Okay," Usagi mumbled.

"Don't worry, it's not a one-day offer," Michiru said. "And spread the word around."

"I will!" Usagi said. OH YEAH.

**************

Naru nervously stepped into Ishigami-sensei's office after school. "What do you need me for?" she asked, her heart beating faster. She knew she needed to stop getting crushes on older men, but she just couldn't help it. They were so much more mature and handsome than boys her own age.

She wanted someone mature, not some immature teen macho brat.

But she knew she wasn't actually mature and pretty enough to attract one of them's interest.

"I'd like you to pose for a painting for me," he said. "I think you'd make a good model."

"I'd love to," she said, stunned. "If you really want me."

"Of course," he said. "Could you bring some kind of dress tomorrow? We can stay after school and you can model for me."

"Oh, I have the perfect dress for it," Naru said, eyes shining. "I mean...I could go get it right now."

"It's a long ways to come back here," he said. "Though...where do you live?"

She gave him her address.

"I live just two blocks away from you in Grace Apartments," he said. "We could both go home and you could come over and have leftover fish and rice with me and then you could pose in my little studio room."

"YES," Naru said. I'll just tell Mom I'm going over to Usagi's.

"Okay, then. I'll see you soon."

[JohnWBiles]

"So how did you sustain yourself since the last war, Suguira-sensei?" Shirou asked her.

They'd all gone back to his place after school and were now in his and Taiga-sensei's dojo. Sakura had joined them as well and was kneeling down by him as he sat on the floor indian-style.

Taiga-sensei was running through a kata, while Mai kneeled by Suguira-sensei, who was sitting indian-style herself.

"One of my Noble Phantasms, the Sexy Teacher Outfit, allows me to drain small amounts of mana from the lust of everyone drooling over me," Suguira-sensei said, pointing to her combo of very short shorts, midriff-baring red shirt (also low cut) and blue jacket. "So I've been travelling around, teaching at high schools and draining young men of their desire and some of their mana. Several hundred young men drool over me every day, enabling me to absorb a fair amount of mana, enough to survive and stockpile small amounts for the future. Plus, I can gain large amounts of mana by seducing a college professor in this outfit, though I'm not sure how the metaphysics of that works."

Shirou stared, eyes wide. Sakura now put her hands over his eyes. Mai and Suguira-sensei laughed.

"My other Noble Phantasms are my Child, Gakutenou, and my trusty Axe, +5 Keen Holy Axe of Returning."

"It sounds like something from a video game," Shirou said.

Suguira-sensei laughed nervously. "I'm afraid there is a dearth of legends about magical axes for it to have a better name."

"So, do you know how to fix my problems with magic?" Shirou asked.

"Did your Father ever put you through an Initiation ritual?" Suguira-sensei asked. "To open your magic circuits?"

"There's an initiation ritual? We never did anything like that," Shirou said. "I think he was kind of reluctant to teach me."

She took his left arm, which had a lot of old cooking scars. "You have a crude magical crest here, but other than cooking magic and your Reinforce spell, you can't do anything else because your magic circuits haven't been properly initiated," Suguira-sensei said. "I've been studying all this the last ten years, getting ready for this war."

"Wow, I'm lucky, then," Shirou said.

"Very," Sakura mumbled. She didn't sound too happy about it, though.

"There's several forms of initiation ritual. You're a virgin, right?" Suguira-sensei asked.

Shirou turned bright red; so did Mai. Sakura just stared at the floor.

"He's very much a virgin," Taiga-sensei said cheerfully.

"Okay. Properly done, you can activate your magic circuits by losing your virginity," Suguira-sensei said. "That's the easy way."

Sakura winced and crumpled in on herself.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Mai asked her kindly.

Suguira-sensei studied Sakura for a moment, then said, less cheerfully than usual, "Am I making you uncomfortable, Sakura?"

"It's okay, sensei," she said to her feet as she curled up into a ball.

Suguira-sensei pointed at Shirou, then at Sakura.

Shirou blinked in confusion, then looked at Sakura. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

Suguira-sensei slapped her forehead and made an odd gesture with her arms, curving them around in front of her as if holding an invisible pillar.

Shirou mimicked the gesture, looking confused, then Mai came over and hugged Sakura. "It's okay," she said softly. "We'll be back."

"Okay," Shirou said nervously.

Mai led Sakura out.

"You are the biggest idiot ever to walk the Earth," Suguira-sensei said irritably. "She needed a hug, you fool."

"I...oh. No one ever wants a hug from me except Fuji-nee sometimes," Shirou mumbled. "My hugs aren't worth much."

"Well, I think Sakura wanted you to hug her. Or at least try to comfort her," Suguira-sensei said, sighing. "But it's pretty clear you're not ready for sex if you can't even figure out a woman wants a hug. So there's two other ways."

"Go on," he said, now feeling guilty. He was good at that.

"Well, a near-death experience, usually involving poison or hunger or exhaustion or pain, is another option. There's a variety of rituals we could use of that style."

"Okay," he said nervously.

"Or sometimes, people's magic circuits spontaneously open when someone is trying to kill them, but we can't count on that," she said. "Let's get into the different kind of near-death rites."

"I nearly died in the Great Fire, but it didn't open my channels," Shirou said.

"I think it started to, which is why you can use Reinforce a little and your cooking magic and are starting to develop a Crest," Suguira-sensei said. "Butt ugly as it is. But you were saved before the process finished. Hmm, yes, fire might be the ideal thing to push you to the edge."

Shirou began to sweat.

**************

"It's okay, you're safe here, no one will hurt you," Mai said, holding Sakura tightly.

Sakura mumbled incoherently into Mai's shoulder.

"No one here is going to make you do anything you don't want to do," Mai said soothingly, her eyes watering. She was pretty sure someone had raped Sakura, possibly to activate their own magic circuits, possibly just because they wanted to rape someone. Or both. They weren't incompatible. "You know Shirou would never force you into something. Ever."

"I know, but Suguira-sensei is so pretty and brave and..." she mumbled.

"I won't let her do anything stupid," Mai said to Sakura. "She's not going to steal him away."

Slowly, Sakura relaxed. "Thank you, Tokiha-sempai."

"You can call me Mai," Mai said firmly. "Taiga-sensei told me to protect both of you and I will."

"My...my..." Sakura tried to speak, but no words came out and she looked intensely frustrated. For a moment, it looked like her skin was rippling and her hair moving of its own accord and then it passed and she began to cry.

Mai stared, then decided she must have seen a trick of the light. She held Sakura tightly until the tears stopped.

*************

Archer frowned at the bottles. "They make me nervous."

"My magic ensures they won't go off until impact. Our tests showed this will work," Rin said. "The dojo will go up like a light and flush out Shinji and his Servant so we can snipe them in the open from a distance."

"But what if he has other Archery club members? Or people he's taken to drain their mana?" Archer asked, frowning. "We might kill innocents."

"You can't make an omlette without breaking eggs," Rin said, though now she frowned deeply. It was allowed to kill innocents but...

"He seems the type to leave them behind to die if the place burns too," Archer said.

Rin grimaced. "Fine. Got another way to flush him out? I'm not going in there."

Archer smiled a little. "This is traditional Japanese architecture, yes?"

"Yeah, they built the Archery dojo with wood and...PAPER," Rin said. "There's just a little box unit for AC and heat and no water or anything so they didn't bother with stone and masonry and whatnot! We can cut a hole in the wall and PEEP."

Rin's pocket knife sufficed for the task and they peeped in; they could see a bunch of archery targets and gear; one end of the building was closed off into a storage room. No sign of Shinji, Assassin, or anything unusual.

Rin frowned. They moved around to peek into the storage room. TOTALLY mundane. No sign even of alarm wards or anything. Though Rin was better at blowing things up then finely detecting magic.

She went back for a second peep on the main floor of the dojo. This time, she noticed something. The dojo was basically a long rectangular box of wood and paper. One of the ends was closed off at the far end to form the storage room. The wall on the other far end had a very faint magic aura she only detected because she spent a long time staring around in frustration.

Illusion magic. Someone had hidden the far end of the room under an illusion. Probably their base!

Unfortunately, Rin's magical training had been self-taught from books because her father had died in the previous Grail War after only teaching her the very basics. The spells stored in the Tohsaka family crest were good for making things go boom and cursing people but not so good for things like seeing through illusions. She could probably just blow the illusion up but this risked something like 'blow up illusion -- stare Medusa in the face -- turn to stone', which is how one of her uncles had died.

She told Archer the situation.

"I believe my Child, St. Vrus, can dispel the illusion, for he has power over such things," Archer said. "I can also try to dispel it with my crucifix."

Archer had three Noble Phantasms: her bow, which Rin had named Glorious Dawn, her Child, the giant horse-like monstrosity St. Vrus, and her crucifix, which she wouldn't let Rin give a name to. Even when Rin begged.

Begged a lot.

"You stay here, outside; I will step inside and attempt it," Archer said.

Rin nodded nervously.

Archer slid the doors open and stepped inside and brandished her crucifix. "In the name of God, OPEN THE WAY!"

It glowed with holy might and the illusion caught fire and burned away. This was somewhat disconcerting as the area revealed briefly seemed covered in fire from the illusion.

Shinji stood in the hidden area, behind a podium with a big book resting on it. He held an arrow with a violet gemstone tied onto the end of it, a crude wand, in one hand. A huge monstrous house cat, violet in color, crouched at his feet, ready to spring.

"Bakene the mighty! I conjure thee by the power of your command gem! SLAY ARCHER!" Shinji shouted. "But take Rin alive!"

"GLORIOUS DAWN!" Archer shouted and her bow appeared. She nocked an arrow, aiming it at Bakene the mighty.

Bakene snored.

Archer stared, a single drop of sweat rolling down her forehead.

Rin now ran in, pulling out a gem. "Give it up, Shinji! Your Servant could care less about your survival!" He used up his Lesser Miracles ALREADY? What an idiot. Then again, maybe his servant was just trying to force him to use them up.

Shinji kicked the cat in the ass. "WAKE UP!"

"MWROR!" the cat said and turned to pounce on him.

"Hold," Rin said softly to Archer, who kept her glowing arrow nocked.

The gem now flared brightly. "GO KILL THEM YOU LAZY ASS CAT!"

Bakene grumbled and began to slowly slink towards Archer, making unhappy kitty noises.

"I guess it is true the magical blood of House Matou runs thin," Rin said. The gem worried her, though. It seemed to have a lot of mana in it. And some kind of Crest, too. Unfortunately, she didn't have time for a detailed analysis. She aimed a finger at the book. "Casting spells out of a book? You are pathetic, Shinji. Surrender your Lesser Miracles or we open fire."

A Master could choose to surrender his Lesser Miracles to another; this would eliminate them from the War. However, this was a risky thing to demand, as someone armed with Lesser Miracles might come up with a good way to turn the tables on you when transferring them, as this required skin to skin contact. It was rumored that some magi knew how to chop someone's arm off and use their Lesser Miracles that way, but that was beyond Rin's abilities or ethics.

"Bring it on!" he said. "I'll show you the true value of the true heir of the Matou family!"

She was pretty sure that Shinji's grandfather, Zouken, still had the family crest. So that's why Shinji needed the book; he didn't have the family's store of spells laid up in the Crest the way Rin did, though she was sure he must have learned at least a few spells by study as she had. But that was difficult, so he had to rely on the book.

Goodbye Book.

Rin fired up her favorite attack spell, Gand, which created a black sphere of entropy that she could shoot from her finger like a bullet and aimed it at the book. Shinji gestured with his improvised wand and her Gand bullet slowed and began to fall and finally blew a hole in the floor the size of a grain of rice. Shinji grinned.

"Oh, you're a sweet kitty," Archer said.

Shinji and Rin looked over at Archer; Bakene was now on his back and Archer was rubbing his huge fat belly while he made happy kitty noises.

Shinji said, "DAMMIT YOU STUPID CAT, KILL HER NOW!" He gestured with the wand and Bakene howled in pain, then suddenly attacked Archer, knocking her down. Glorious Dawn went spinning off across the floor.

Red threads now descended from the ceiling, wrapping around Rin and pulling her up into the rafters. Assassin held her blades to Rin's throat. "If you even try to use a Lesser Miracle or a spell, I will slit your throat." She hung in the rafters by several red cords from the ceiling. There was a huge spider-like creature up here with her as well. "Julia, dispose of Archer."

Bakene now began trying to groom Archer's face.

Shinji's teeth ground so loudly you could hear them in Chile. "You are the WORST DEMON EVER," he said to Bakene.

Julia dropped towards Archer.

Archer reached for her crucifix but couldn't reach it with Bakene on her torso.

Bakene continued to groom Archer's face.

Rin tried desperately to think of a plan.

GIANT TIGER OUT OF NOWHERE!

Harry crashed into Julia in the air and they both went tumbling out the door.

Akane stood in the doorway with Usagi. Akane was in her waitressing uniform, golden double-tonfas in her hands. Usagi stood next to her, still in her school uniform, a frisbee in each hand.

"THE FUCK?" Assassin said, mouth wide open.

"You won't break any more hearts, Matou-san!" Usagi shouted at Shinji. Then she hurled the frisbees at Assassin's webs. They glowed brightly, slicing through them. Rin and Assassin took a tumble that knocked Rin out when she hit, though she rolled away from Assassin, who gave a cry of pain but bounced to her feet just in time for Akane to send her crashing through a wall with a gust of wind generated by Akane sweeping her tonfas.

"SLEEP," Shinji shouted, pointing at Usagi.

"NAP TIME! YES!" Usagi shouted happily, then fell asleep.

Akane's jaw dropped.

"Please let me up, kitty, I need to fight," Archer pleaded with Bakene, who now was curling up for a nap himself.

"SLEEP!" Shinji shouted, pointing at Akane, but nothing happened.

"Waitresses who sleep on the job get fired!" Akane said. "And use of magic in the restaurant on staff or customers is strictly forbidden!"

Paper walls meant Shinji made a nice cut-out of himself in the wall as Akane blew him, his spell book, and his improvised wand through the wall.

Bakene began to snore, while Archer tried helplessly to get loose.

"Usa..." Akane began but then she heard Harry yelling and she ran through the hole Harry and Julia had made; Assassin and Julia were double-teaming Harry, so she blew Assassin away from him. Assassin tried to tangle Akane with her webs, but Akane parried every attempt, while Harry and Julia rolled around, biting each other.

Shinji walked back in, grabbed Rin, and began dragging her off. "Dammit, Bakene, KILL ARCHER!"

Bakene woke up and looked mournfully at Shinji.

Shinji now held the violet gem in his hand. "This gem means I OWN YOU. NOW KILL HER, DAMMIT!"

The gem flared brightly and Bakene howled and Archer prayed desperately for a miracle because she just wasn't strong enough to get the cat off her; it clearly was some kind of Servant or Demon or something.

Please Lord, she thought. Save Rin. I am a terrible person who broke my oaths to you, but she's a young girl, with her whole life ahead of her. I would guide her to avoid my mistakes if I could but if one of us must die, let it be me. Please.

What she got in answer to her prayer was not so much a miracle as an idea.

**********

[Jonen C]

From Big Damn Heroes to Crowning Moment of Funny in five paragraphs or your money back!, he shouts through a megaphone to advertise the story.

[JohnWBiles]

Informal Poll at this point (since I can only attach one poll per thread and have other ideas for later)

Who is your favorite Master so far? (and why)

[JohnWBiles]

Shirou hugged Sakura tightly in silence, her head on his shoulder.

Taiga-sensei started to say something, but Mai and Suguira-sensei dragged her out of the room.

They hugged for a very long time, until Shirou finally said gently, "You can cry if it helps."

She started sobbing onto his shoulder until it was very wet.

"I'm not very good with people," he said. "But you know I'll always be here for you, Sakura."

"I know," she said softly. "Shirou. I have to...to..." She squirmed and her mouth moved but no sounds came out and she looked very frustrated. She tried to write something but she could only make incoherent squiggles on the floor with her pen.

"Sakura, have you been bound in some manner to prevent you saying something?" Shirou asked softly.

"Yes," she managed to say.

"Can you tell me who did this?"

Soundless mouth movements ensued.

He frowned. "We will figure out what happened and help you," Shirou said. "Does Shinji know who did this to you?"

Sakura made incoherent noises and became frantic.

"Is he bound to silence?"

"No," Sakura said, then looked surprised.

"Okay, maybe we can see what he knows and he can help us figure out how to help you."

Sakura shook her head no.

Shirou blinked. "Why not?"

Soundless agony.

"There has to be someone in your family who can help," Shirou said.

Sakura shook her head.

"Look, if you're embarrassed to let Shinji know, I can try approaching it like a theoretical question...no, that would give it away unless he's an idiot," Shirou said. "And he's not stupid. That kind of trick only works in manga." He frowned. "I have to help you, though."

"Later," she said softly. "You...gurgle..."

"I can't just let you suffer."

"I'm okay when you hold me," she said softly, so he pulled her tight.

"I can't hold you forever, though," he said. "I have to cook dinner eventually."

"Just hold me as long as you can," she said softly.

He gently stroked her hair. "I can do that."

She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled.

*****************

Bakene began trying to beat Archer to death. Rather in the manner of a cat batting at string. Which is to say that this was going to take a very long time, if it happend at all, as Archer was too tough to be easily killed by being swatted by the flat of the paw of a huge fat monster cat, though it did hurt.

"Dammit, do I have to do everything myself?" Shinji shouted. "Assassin, HURRY UP AND KILL THE DAMN WAITRESS!" What kind of insane mage dresses as a Waitress? He had to admit her Tiger Servant was pretty tough. I guess that must be Berserker, he thought. A man-eating tiger would make a good Berserker.

The fighting continued outside.

"SLEEP," he said, forcing Archer to pass out. Then he rolled Bakene off Archer (this took some work) and then he took Glorious Dawn and put an arrow through her eye socket into her brain, killing her. She dissolved away into sparkles of light.

Finally, he thought.

Assassin now entered, dragging the tonfa-armed woman with red cords. "This is Higurashi Akane. She must have been a Master in the Grail War I fought in. She sucks; no wonder she vanished early on. But I think she's a Servant."

"USAGI IS A MASTER?" Shinji said, nearly falling down from shock.

"Yeah." Assassin went over and rolled Usagi over and showed Shinji the command seals. "So now we kill them, right?"

"Kill Akane. She's useless and has to die," Shinji said. "But Rin and Usagi, we need to strip them of their Lesser Miracles."

"Can't you just cut their arms off and kill them?" Assassin said.

"I'm not the sort of freak who has sex with a one-armed corpse!" Shinji said, offended. "I just need you to stand by so they can't try to pull any shit with their Lesser Miracles while I am removing them. Ideally, they will remain asleep under the Seventh Crystal's influence during the whole thing, but they are Masters, after all."

"Man, getting Akane as your Servant. That's pathetic," Nao said. "So how does this work?"

"First we take them back to the house; there may be others still lurking here who might interrupt us and I prefer a soft bed for sex."

Assassin made a face. "You're disgusting."

"You have no room to talk and you WILL obey me," he said, brandishing his arm, which had three arrows on it. "Now, get Julia to pick them up and let's go."

"I'm happy to kill these people, but I won't be a party to that," Assassin said. "Death is clean, but..."

"BY THE POWER OF THE GRAIL, I COMMAND YOU TO TAKE THEM TO MY HOUSE AND STAND GUARD WHILE I DEAL WITH THEM!" he shouted angrily. One of the arrows on his arm vanished and energy rushed into Assassin, who found herself moving like a puppet to take them and transport them.

Assassin grimaced and reminded herself he would be vulnerable later. And then she would show him what obedience meant.

***************

Archer stared in horror at Shinji, who was standing before Saint Vrus with a lustful smile on his face. She was still pinned under Bakene, who had gone back to sleep, but St. Vrus hovered just off the ground in front of Shinji, who had succumbed to St. Vrus' illusion powers. But Archer could see his fantasy in her mind's eye and it utterly revulsed her.

"Finish him," she hissed and St. Vrus opened up like an iron maiden, then clamped down on Shinji hard and he vanished inside it.

St. Vrus now wobbled and fell asleep. Shinji, bleeding profusely, fell out of St. Vrus, then dropped the gem he'd been holding. It rolled across the floor and came to a halt.

Shinji tried to speak. "Assassin. Slay..."

There was a sudden flash of metal and a chain linking many small blade segments flashed across the dojo, hacking off Shinji's right arm.

"...Archer. I command you with the power of the grail, ONE HIT ONE KILL!"

It was too late and now he bled more.

The chain segmented weapon picked up the arm and hauled it to Lancer, who took it by the blood-stained fingers. "You've been a very naughty boy."

Her second shot castrated him as he howled in pain.

"BITCH!" he shouted.

"What you did to Sakura can never, ever be forgiven, not that I am the forgiving kind," Lancer said very calmly, almost flirtatiously.

Her third shot cut the book on the stand into little scraps of paper that burst into fire and soon turned to ash.

She now walked over and picked up the gem, dropping it inside her kimono, apparently into her cleavage, not that you could see it inside her very modest, but truly elegant, clothing. "I should kill you, Shinji. But if I leave you alive, I can do to you what you did to her, every day, for a very long time. And I think that's poetic justice. Don't you agree, Yukariko-miko?"

Lord, forgive me, for I cannot forgive him, Archer thought. I shouldn't...but he is horrible. Horrible. Worse even than me. "I agree. God hates him," she said, feeling terrible for saying it.

"I'm very sorry, Yukariko-miko. I have to kill your mistress, Rin. She is a threat to my mistress. But I will make it as painless as I can, for your sake. Would you like a moment to pray for her soul?" Lancer asked, kindly.

"Yes, please," Archer said and began to pray, desperately.

Her loud prayers revived Rin enough to sit up groggily and say, "Did we win?"

"No," Lancer said and lashed out at her.

"ARCHER! SAVE ME!" Rin shouted, triggering a Lesser Miracle.

Archer moved in a blur of speed, sliding out from under Bakene, seizing Rin and running off at high speed. Glorious Dawn and St. Vrus winked out of existence as she ran off out of sight at blazing speed.

"Ara," Lancer said. She studied Usagi. "I'm afraid you have to die too, as I know you are after Shirou. But I will make it quick and merciful, because you are, at heart, a good girl. But you might tempt him. And stealing hearts is a terrible thing."

Lancer raised her naginata and...

GIANT TIGER OUT OF NOWHERE!

Lancer went crashing through the wall as Harry charged into her. The building now began to collapse from all the damage as Waitress dashed in, grabbed Usagi, and ran. Harry caught up to her and she jumped on his back and RAN LIKE THE WIND.

"Ara, I guess I will take my toys and go home," Lancer said, a little wobbily.

Shinji was now buried under collapsed dojo, however.

Lancer said, "Well, I would have had to feed him anyway." She took off.

*************

Naru tried to stand as still as possible, feeling very nervous and excited at once. She was wearing her dress, which was even prettier than she'd thought it would be; she'd unlaced the front most of the way down, though it made her even more excited and jumpy at once, showing off her cleavage. She was about average in that regard, though the dress made it look more impressive; she was more bosomy than Usagi by a little, which she knew Usagi was jealous of. Really, she was built about like her Mom.

But she could tell Ishigami-sensei enjoyed seeing her like this and that made her nervous and excited at once. She'd had a lot of fantasies about him and this was one of them and it usually ended with them both naked doing things she had never done but wanted to, though she knew she shouldn't.

She was posing with one hand on a candle-stick stand that came up to about chest level; there was a magic 8-ball resting on it which she had her left hand on. Her other hand was on her waist.

"Done," he said. "Come look."

In the painting, she had slightly darker skin and her breasts were a little bigger and her hair was longer, down her back, but it was recognizably her. Her smile was confident and powerful. Her as she wished she looked. And the magic 8-ball was a crystal ball full of stars and galaxies that matched her dress.

"Wow, I look magical," she said softly, amazed.

He drew her around next to him, an arm around her waist. She blushed, then smiled and put her hand on his on that side and he pointed out several features of the painting.

"I wish I was that beautiful," she said softly.

"You are that beautiful to me," he said softly.

"If I was really that beautiful, you'd kiss me," she said, then regretted having ever been born or learned to speak.

So he leaned over and kissed her and she kissed back and she felt the most tremendous thrill of her life to that moment. Her whole body was suddenly flush with energy and she pulled him in close and she soon found out that dress came off pretty easily.

Ishigami-sensei smiled. Everything was going according to plan. Young, naive girls were easy to manipulate. There was more than one way to get into a Grail War; he was quite sure he could make his plan work.

And if he failed, it wasn't himself he was risking.

********************

"Hello, young lady," Grandpa Hino said to Illyasviel Einzbern. "Would you like to be an acolyte at my temple?"

"I represent the German business Barbarossa Cola," she said, smiling brightly and holding out a brightly colored can. "Would you be willing to try our product? It's a free sample!"

"Sure," Grandpa Hino said, smiling brightly. He chugged down the cola swiftly, then his eyes crossed and he began to stagger. "This isn't cola, it's a potion!"

"Berserker, cover me now!" Illyasviel said cheerfully.

Grandpa Hino tried to chant, but the pain was growing too intense.

Berserker leaped down and took up a sword stance; she lashed out, cutting Grandpa Hino's prayer stick in half.

He fell to the ground, coughed up an indigo colored gem and then turned into a red faced oni, hunched over in a rather gorilla like manner.

Illyasviel scooped up the gem. "Pox! You now serve ME."

Pox nodded, then came over and began to try to search the pockets of her long coat.

"STOP," Illyasviel said. "What are you DOING?"

"He's hungry," Berserker said. She knew hungry.

Only Illyasviel's dignity prevented her from crying. Great, now I have a hungry demon to feed as well as my hungry Servant. "Let's go rob a grocery store again," she said, sighing.

"Yaay! You're the best Master ever!," Berserker proclaimed.

"Of course," Illyasviel said proudly, while crying on the inside.

************

Shirou stared at the holes in his house. "What is all this?"

"This is from us fighting off Assassin last night," Suguira-sensei said nervously. "I thought you were going to fix this, Mai."

"Fix it with what?" Mai asked. "I could burn it. That wouldn't help much. So I hung up some sheets for now. Good thing it's warm this time of year."

"..."

"Look, once we get you set up tomorrow with the fire rite, then you can probably fix this all with magic or something," Suguira-sensei said. "I'll go shopping tonight while Mai stands guard, get the supplies for the rite after school tomorrow. For now, we have to live with this."

"Can I stay over again?" Sakura said weakly.

Taiga-sensei hesitated, looked at Mai, then said, "Yes. You can sleep with me. I promise I won't mistake you for a snack and eat you."

Sakura said, "..."

"That was a joke," Taiga-sensei said quickly. "Can you really find the supplies at this hour, Suguira-san?"

"I will go shopping during the day tomorrow," Mai said. "I think we'd best both stay here and stand guard tonight."

"Good idea," Suguira-sensei said. "Now, let's help them with their homework."

"Thanks, sensei," Shirou said. Though it was going to be hard to get it all done in time tonight.

****************

"They're robbing a grocery store," Akira reported by cellphone to Shingo, who was hiding a block away in an arcade, nervously playing videogames.

"Shouldn't you be home, Shingo?" Motoki, the manager, asked Shingo. "It's getting late and we close soon."

"Call me back in a minute," Shingo said to Akira. Akira should be safe with her mad stealth skills.

"Okay."

Shingo hung up the phone. "I'm old enough to stay out if I want to," he said to Motoki. "Isn't my money good enough for you?"

"You should do what Motoki-kun says," Kino Makoto said, folding her arms under her breasts. Shingo knew she was a huge delinquent at one of the high schools, some place called Sukuran. She also had a huge crush on Motoki.

"You know he's dating someone, right?" Shingo asked her.

Shingo now learned he could fly, if not under his own power, but with the help of another.

******************

"I'm not allowed to intervene," Professor Tomoe told Akane. "However, I can tell you that the spell should fade and she will wake up normally in the morning."

"I guess I'll take her home, then," Akane said. "So, with Shinji dead, what happens to Assassin?"

"She must find a source of mana, or she will evaporate. You feel tired, don't you?"

"Yes," Akane said. "I think I spent a lot of power."

"If your master is skilled in energy transfer, she can recharge you with mana," Professor Tomoe said. "Eating and sleeping also helps, but it only provides very small amounts of mana, not enough to sustain a Servant in the long term. Servants need a lot of mana, especially if they use their powers. You can get mana from normal humans, but you'd have to kill a lot of them to get very much." He said this very calmly, greatly disturbing Akane.

"I'd rather evaporate," Akane said.

"Your decision is commendable, but remember, if you get the Grail, any sins you committed to get it can be undone with its powers," he said. "And your rivals may not be so picky."

"Being able to undo my sins doesn't justify them. I will fight honorably without hurting innocents or I would rather fail," Akane said, frowning.

For a moment, he softened. "It would be a better world if more people agreed with you." He then returned to normal. "Your master can also use sex to transfer energy if she doesn't know the appropriate magics."

"..."

"Hmm. Hotaru!"

Hotaru now ran in. "Yes, Papa?"

"Would you mind getting a dozen donuts for our guests? I expect that Miss Usagi will be quite famished when she eventually wakes up and I think Miss Akane could use a snack."

"Thank you, sensei," Akane said. SEX???

"A pleasure to serve."

**************

"I'm fine, I'm fine," Shingo said to Akira. "I didn't realize how strong Kino-san is."

"They're out of the store, but moving slowly because their oni has a stomach-ache," Akira said. "We can easily catch up to them. But why are we following them?"

"The crow's mistress is Shiho; Shiho works for Hino Rei, who I assume is one of the Masters in this War," Shingo said. "We need to know where this crazy Master kid lives. Once we know, we leak it to Hino-san. She will fly off to engage the kid. While they're locked in combat, then we strike with Gennai and kill the crow. You get your revenge and the two sides should wipe each other out, while we go have fun. Pretty much my whole plan is to help everyone else self-destruct, and then we will deal with anyone who doesn't." Shingo frowned. "Somehow." It was very much a 'kill or be killed' kind of war, but he didn't really want to kill anyone if he didn't have to. He couldn't back down now; I should have burned that book when I got sent it in the mail. But noooo, I decided it would be fun to monkey around with the occult.

I didn't expect it to WORK. Or that I'd just trapped myself in a war.

But now I have to win this thing.

Somehow.

At least they didn't have to worry about mana. The book had told him about the statue they stole, which absorbed and stored mana from those who got romantic around it, and they'd figured out, with the book's help, how to transfer some of its stored mana to Akira. The thing had been sucking up mana for a loooong time. He was surprised someone hadn't already stolen it for the mana by now.

"Sounds good to me. Let's get moving," Akira said, picking up Shingo and running.

***************

[Arkeus]

ahah. lots of fun.

Glad Shinji is getting his comeuppance.

[JohnWBiles]

"What are we looking for?" Archer asked, studying the books which Rin was frantically trying to search through.

"Gems. Magical gems. Whatever Shinji had, we need one if possible. Several. If there are demons strong enough to take on a Servant and win or at least heavily inconvenience you, then we have to be able to get our own or learn their weaknesses to take them down," Rin said. "We are not leaving here until we know what's going on and have some idea of a counter-measure or we'll just get beaten again."

"I will do my best, but I really don't know any of this. I wasn't even an exorcist to know about demons," Archer confessed.

"We're down to only two Lesser Miracles. And if those two kids hadn't stepped in, we'd be corpses," Rin said. "I'm surprised they didn't finish us when they had the chance."

"Usagi seems to be a kind, gentle girl and Akane...is not the sort to finish a downed foe," Archer said, smiling a little.

"Fools. How do they expect to win this War?" Rin said. "But now we owe them. And I always pay my debts. So when we have them in our power, we will be merciful," Rin continued.

"Of course," Archer said, smiling a little.

"After all, if Usagi yields up her Lesser Miracles, there's no reason to kill her," Rin continued. "Hmm. So Shinji had Assassin, I have Archer, one of the Einzbern likely has...someone. Lancer's master is unknown but apparently hides and does nothing while Lancer does all the work. Usagi has Akane, who is...she's fast, she has tonfas for weapons...and can summon a giant tiger."

"Akane vanished from Fuuka before our Grail War started. But maybe she was a Master in that war and got picked off. I know...I'm pretty sure Assassin...Nao... was a Master in that war and Lancer did go to Fuuka..." Archer said hesitantly. "And that girl with Illyasviel Einzbern on the TV was Mikoto, who was a student at Fuuka. And Mai was a student at Fuuka too."

"And Akane is Usagi's cousin from the future and you're from the future too," Rin said. "I think somehow we summoned future masters of a future Grail War to our own time."

"Mai has a dragon and shoots fire. Mikoto just has a magic sword but no Child I've ever seen," Archer said.

"Okay, so Mikoto is Saber and works for...surely they didn't send Illyasviel as their champion."

"Child-like summons child-like? You get someone like you, right?" Archer said.

"Okay, so Mikoto is Saber, summoned by the Einzbern, you are Archer, summoned by me. Either Taiga-sensei or Shirou summoned Mai, who is probably Caster." Rin frowned, not wanting to have to beat up or kill nice people. "Shinji summoned Assassin. Someone who is probably a woman summoned Lancer. Usagi summoned Akane, who then would either be Rider or Berserker."

"Rider. She rode her Tiger to escape. And there is no way that she's Berserker," Archer said.

"So one master is down, five who are not me remain. Berserker's master is yet unknown, and so is Lancer. Usagi and Shirou or Taiga-sensei are least likely to be threats, whereas Berserker's master may be and Saber's definitely will be. Even if she is a kid." She winced. "I was kind of hoping for a bunch of evil masters I could kill without guilt like last time."

"You know, Assassin could take on a new master or sign on with someone," Archer pointed out.

"And there is this demon-summoning gem. Though if we're...that's it. We know the demon's name! Bakene. You go consult the demonology books. They have indexes. I will study gems!"

Archer nodded and went to work.

***************

The moment of awakening one's magic circuits is sometimes called 'opening the third eye'. It usually is accompanied by a moment of transcendent vision. In Naru's case, it was also accompanied by the intense pleasure of orgasm.

In a mental explosion, her lost memories of things which now had never happened or maybe just been undone suddenly returned to her and she remembered it all.

Nephrite.

He died in my arms.

Dissolved away.

She had loved him and he had died and she couldn't save him but now she was full of power.

NEPHRITE!

She screamed across the void and the stars came down and formed into the shape of a man. The first man she had ever loved. And like her father, she had lost him.

"Nephrite, come back to me," she begged. "I can heal you now. I can feel it."

"Naru-chan, my love," he said softly. "The strength of your love for me redeemed me. I am so sorry I had to die and leave you."

"Come to me," she begged, though she was in the arms of another man. But her crush on him couldn't match the feelings she'd had for the first real love of her life. She and Nephrite had never even kissed but they had been through more together in a short time than she'd done with anyone else but Usagi (who she had never kissed either).

"I can become your Servant," he said to her. "But if I do, then we must fight in the Grail War."

"It doesn't matter," she said. "If we win the Grail, we can bring back Father." Her heart beat for joy. NEPHRITE. He was here. How could I have ever forgotten him? She didn't understand at all. "I want to be a Master and fight by Usagi's side. And I want to PUNISH Rider for what she did to Father!" Her anger rose within her.

She reached out for Nephrite then suddenly realized that outside this vision, she was having sex with Ishigami-sensei. She turned beet red and then suddenly was plunged into mental chaos. All her feelings for Nephrite had returned to her when her memories returned. Far stronger than her crush on Ishigami-sensei.

But Naru really could not think of anything crueller to do to someone than to raise your old boyfriend from the dead in the middle of sex with them and then dump them to run off with the old boyfriend.

But she couldn't pass up this chance. Would it ever come again?

She seized Nephrite's hand and now three extremely complicated circles full of squiggles and symbols and lines appeared on her right arm. "What are these?"

"Your Lesser Miracles, my love," he said to her. "Those are horoscopes. The things you see in newspapers are vague garbage, but a properly drawn horoscope is like that, charting all the relevant stars and planets, and my art as Astrologer is their creation and interpretation. I am First in Prediction of the Future."

"I...Nephrite...I forgot you existed and now...I'm sort of..." Naru tried to figure out how to say this.

"Your art teacher seduced you in hopes of using you as a tool to get access to the Grail and vast cosmic power," Nephrite said sadly. "I am sorry to tell you that."

Naru stared, mouth open wide in shock.

"This isn't the first time he tried this, but that iteration of history was wiped out, so he doesn't remember it. But it meant he was destined to make the same mistake again and now he has. Everything is ruled by the stars and they used him in the role for which he is most suited." Nephrite's voice was sad. "Please forgive him; I was like him but much worse, when you first met me. He is a liar and a user."

"I will punish him gently," Naru said. "But I cannot let him go unpunished." She frowned, then smiled in a manner that would have most people very nervous to see.

She let herself awaken on the floor of the studio, Ishigami-sensei inside her, smiling and looking somewhat lethargic. "That was wonderful," he said softly.

"It was wonderful," she said, feeling Nephrite's presence as he lurked nearby, insubstantial. "Unfortunately, I now know you planned to use me to win the Holy Grail War and seize the power for yourself."

Ishigami-sensei froze up.

"But Nephrite is right. And I did choose to come here and lie with you of my own free will," Naru said, rising and gesturing; her clothing flew back onto her body and her body was cleansed of the after-effects of their lovemaking. She looked the very spitting image of his painting of her now, and all he could do was stare, hardly able to move, though an afterglow of pleasure flowed through him still.

"You remember," he said softly.

"Tell me how you learned of my power and I will let you leave this city alive and unhurt," Naru said firmly. She picked up the magic 8-ball off the stand and extended her power into it; it shimmered and became the globe of stars and galaxies of the painting and she struck the same stance she'd done for the painting.

He stared, caught by her beauty for a moment. Then he said, "I already knew of the Grail War from my failed occult studies." He sounded frustrated. "My efforts to learn magic gave me only a touch of foresight. By making various deals and making paintings for people which I could invest my foresight in, I was able to find out your father had fought in the last war. While he had been unable to pass his Crest to you, I knew this made you a potential master. I studied you and sensed you could become a master if I awakened your abilities. I see that I was right."

"Foresight is dangerous," Nephrite said, now manifesting. "It never shows you everything and your own prejudices shape your understanding of what you see."

"Do you know anything about Rider?" Naru demanded.

"Only that she was your father's Servant and that she vanished during the Great Fire; no one is sure who killed her if anyone," he said. "It's very hard to find out even that much."

"You have three days to leave this city. If you mess with any of my friends or cause any other trouble, I will make you regret it," Naru said angrily, then softened. "Please don't make me regret it, sensei. Part of me still...I really did like you until I found out the truth."

"Thank you for being forgiving," he said, giving a sigh of relief. He would have bowed if he had the energy to move. "I will leave."

"And you were a good art teacher," Naru said, then sighed. "Let's go, Nephrite my love."

Nephrite put an arm around her and they walked off together.

****************

Matou Zouken was in a foul mood. Shinji had bungled everything and Sakura was tempermentally unsuited to the task of going after the Grail. He stood, observing the black worms burrowing into Shinji's flesh; they would restore him to enough functionality to make him useful, though he clearly couldn't handle fighting in the Grail War.

Also, he would need a new arm, but Zouken had several clever ideas for that.

One of the servants came to the door. "Sir, there is a woman named Himeno Fumi to see you."

He blinked. "Who?"

"She says that the death of her previous employer, Kazhana Mashiro, has left her unemployed and she believes you would find her services useful." The servant paused. "Sir, she looks like a french maid with weird pink hair to me."

Mashiro was a magus, or had been, Zuoken knew. Ergo, this woman knew something of magely society. This was valuable. "I will see her in the blue room."

The blue room was a nice parlor decorated in shades of blue. One wall was painted to look like the sea.

Zuoken had tea and edamame laid out; he had a weakness for edamame even after all these centuries.

Fumi entered and bowed to him, then looked around.

"Sit down," he said, pointing to the chair across the coffee table from him.

"Good day, sir," she said, sitting down.

"Good day, ma'am," he said. "What brings you here?"

"I am a Grail War Servant," she said. "My Master is dead and I do not wish to quietly evaporate. Nor do I wish to stalk the living just so that I can be picked off on my own anyway." She sighed. "I seek to take up service with a magus of your house if possible."

"Why our house?" he asked curiously.

"I only know of the three Great Houses as definite entrants in the war," she said. "I do not trust the Einzbern not to experiment on me and I do not wish to serve a child again, brilliant as she may be. Once is enough." She sounded quite frustrated. "Whereas, you are a mage of experience and repute who will not make elementary mistakes."

"Who killed your master?" Zuoken asked.

"Saber, I believe. A crazed boxing demon assaulted me and while I was busy fighting him, she cut my Master's head off with a surprise attack."

He frowned. So Saber has one of the gems. Probably the orange one, the gem of Wrath, the gem of Berserker. Interesting. We must find more of them, especially since Shinji bungled everything and lost the Violet one.

"I am willing to supply you with some mana for whatever information you can share with me about our foes. Should I find you a suitable servant, I will contract with you. I require one thing, however. Which Servant are you?"

"I am Maid," she said.

He blinked. "Maid? There are seven Classes of Servants. Assassin, Caster, Archer, Berserker, Lancer, Saber, and Rider. Not 'Maid'."

She rose. "Behold the power of the Magnificent Maid Uniform!"

Suddenly, she sprang into frenetic action, moving like a blur, and then she sat down. The entire room was so clean it shined. She'd even removed Zuoken's eleven PM shadow, leaving him smoothly clean shaven.

"..."

She now summoned a scythe. "This is Reaper, the second of my Noble Phantasms."

He studied it and her, casting a spell of analysis with a thought. Amazing. Had this Mashiro somehow created a new class of Servants? His own house had created the Servant system for the Grail Wars. He had to have her service, to study her if nothing else.

"I am impressed," he said. "Let us contract, then."

Fumi bowed and held out her hand and the contract was sealed. Everything was going according to plan B.

***********


Naru laid spent in her lover's arms, back in her own apartment. (Okay, her mother's apartment, her own bedroom.) "I'm going to have to figure out how to explain you to Mother in the morning," Naru said.

"I can assume my spirit form and she won't see or hear me, only you will," he said. "But I must tell you something important about your mother. Several things."

"Go on?" Naru said softly.

"Your mother spent many years trying to get revenge for your father's death. About two and a half years ago, she acquired the Magnificent Beryl, a powerful Mystic Code. Unfortunately, it contained the spirit of an evil Queen, Queen Beryl, who possessed your mother and began trying to resurrect her evil kingdom from inside a Reality Marble known as the Dark Kingdom."

"A what?" Naru asked, eyes wide and horrified.

"A pocket universe. Beryl served a dark goddess, Metallia, and sought to conquer this world for Metallia. Back when she was alive, Beryl corrupted four magical guardians of the Earth with her powers and forced us to serve her. I was one of those guardians who served Prince Endymion, heir to the Golden Kingdom. Beryl found our modern reincarnations and took control of us once she was free in this time. When I met you, I was in her service." His voice was sad and far away.

"Until I set you free," Naru said softly.

"Until you set me free," Nephrite said softly. "It was too late for me. I was slain by General Zoicite's forces. But eventually, Zoicite was brought down and Beryl was defeated. By your best friend Usagi, who is Sailor Moon. She and the other Senshi defeated Beryl, but in some manner I don't understand, time was turned back so that the whole war never happened. History changed, your mother never found the Magnificent Beryl, was never possessed and none of it ever happened."

Naru stared, eyes wide. "Mother was..." She shivered. "So Mother tried to avenge Father and was turned into a monster."

"But Usagi saved her. This means, however, that the Magnificent Beryl is still out there."

Naru's breath caught. "Then we have to find it. And destroy it."

"I do not know where it is; history changed, so it has gone astray. If we are lucky...well, I am not sure if we would be lucky."

Naru cocked her head. "What?"

"Beryl is extremely powerful and your position as the child of two Magi makes you a very suitable vessel for her. Coming near the Magnificent Beryl could be very dangerous," Nephrite warned. "My foresight tells me this."

Naru frowned. "I suppose it probably isn't just sitting around Fuyuki City, anyway."

"Your mother had to go to Germany to acquire it," Nephrite said.

"Well, little chance it's here in Fuyuki City."

************

"There is nothing edible in that chest!" Illyasviel shouted at Pox as Berserker tried desperately to drag Pox away from the stout wooden, steel-reinforced chest.

Pox made his usual grunty noises and tried to move towards it again.

"What is in that chest?" Berserker asked, slowly shoving Pox back.

Illyasviel now grabbed it and tried to decide where to hide it. "The Magnificent Beryl. A very potent mystical artifact. Grandfather said not to use it unless something happens to you, though. It's a weapon of last resort."

She decided to hide it in the very back of her bedroom closet. Surely Pox would never find it there.

******************

"It's a jewelry box?" Shingo asked in surprise.

"It's locked shut with wards. Maybe we can figure out with the book how to open it. I left the bowling ball, since I didn't know what else to do with it," Akira said.

Observation had made it look like the Magnificent Beryl was very heavy, but Akira had to revise that to 'Illyasviel is a nine year old girl who isn't very strong, so anything is heavy for her'.

"Well, that should weaken her for the battle. Tomorrow, we can send an anonymous letter and watch her run off to clash with Illyasviel," Shingo said, then yawned. "Let's get some sleep."

"I don't have to sleep now," Akira said.

"I'll sleep, you stand guard."

"Of course."

***************

"So, I need a mage in order to use the Grail," Assassin said to Professor Tomoe.

"Yes, only a magus can invoke the wishes the Grail grants. Similarly, a magus needs a Servant to force the Grail to become material for his use once it is summoned. Traditionally, a free Servant can request one wish for himself and the Magus gets two, but you can enter any kind of deal you like. This sort of contract does not grant additional Lesser Miracles, however."

"Can Lancer use those ones on the arm?" Assassin asked.

Kaolinite brought them both some tea and cookies.

Assassin munched down on a cookie with enthusiasm. She was rather hungry.

"No, but she could give them to her Master," Professor Tomoe said. "If she is wise, she will use the arm as a bargaining chip to get a better deal."

"So if I cut off a master's arm and used that as part of the deal with my new master, I could get a better deal," Assassin said thoughtfully.

Professor Tomoe nodded, then sipped his tea. Jasmine. Just how he liked it. "Also, with the arm, you could contract with someone who is not a Master yet, making them into a Master."

That had potential.

**************