5 Battlefield Screw Ups That Were Hilarious (Until People Died)

legionare · Nov 27th 2009, 10:53am

http://www.cracked.com/article/208_5...people-died_p1

5 is funny, but 1 just made me go, are you serious?...

Damar · Nov 27th 2009, 11:28am

Quote:

Originally Posted by legionare

http://www.cracked.com/article/208_5...people-died_p2

5 is funny, but 1 just made me go, are you serious?...

First thing that came to mind when reading 1:

Lightning_Count · Nov 27th 2009, 11:59am

I'll see all those examples and raise you this...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes

thatguy · Nov 27th 2009, 6:05pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning_Count

I'll see all those examples and raise you this...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes

There are no words....

Magni · Nov 27th 2009, 8:03pm

You know, I'm normally a follower of the belief that there is no such thing as overkill, but Kiska... 35.000 men, almost 200 ships, several hundred planes to get an island that is by estimate defended by about 500 japanese? 1:70 odds? Yeah, even I think that that's overdoing it a bit.

Desert Fox · Nov 27th 2009, 8:38pm

It might have been used a practice run as well.....

Also, the article is deceptive....Intelligence was that there were 5,200 on the Island
As well, 87 of the casualties were due a destroyer hitting a mine and more were due to traps the Japanese left.

Minohtar · Nov 27th 2009, 9:42pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magni

You know, I'm normally a follower of the belief that there is no such thing as overkill, but Kiska... 35.000 men, almost 200 ships, several hundred planes to get an island that is by estimate defended by about 500 japanese? 1:70 odds? Yeah, even I think that that's overdoing it a bit.

It was a goof overall, sure, but there is no such thing as "overdoing it" for a WWII-style amphibious assault. Attacking a defensive position is bad enough, attacking a defensive position from the ocean is even worse. Look at the casualty rates from some of the island-hopping campaign in the Pacific for an idea.

TheMarine · Nov 27th 2009, 9:42pm

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magni

You know, I'm normally a follower of the belief that there is no such thing as overkill, but Kiska... 35.000 men, almost 200 ships, several hundred planes to get an island that is by estimate defended by about 500 japanese? 1:70 odds? Yeah, even I think that that's overdoing it a bit.

Well to be honest the japs tended to need that much as they fought to the death. We tended to throw numbers at them because it took that much even with numbers on our side. If they didn't have such shitty weapons and a fanatical need to blow us up we might have seen worse numbers in dead. These people made suicide everything just to kill US troops. Hell the invasion of the home islands had them telling civvies to charge US lines with pitchforks.

Still invading a island that you know is empty is retarded.

Q99 · Nov 27th 2009, 11:07pm

I point to the Dogger Bank Incident/'Voyage of the Damned'

legionare · Nov 27th 2009, 11:17pm

Thats just funny, if only this was all true!

Dark Asendant · Nov 28th 2009, 12:00am

I can't decide with is more unbelievably incompetent, #4 or #2.

XaLEv · Nov 28th 2009, 2:14am

Why do people link to the second page of these things?

legionare · Nov 28th 2009, 2:27am

HAPPY NOW

PT2 is better!

Desert Fox · Nov 28th 2009, 2:37am

I have often thought that it is not the commander who does brilliantly who wins but the one who screws up the least

Roi Danton · Nov 28th 2009, 2:47am

#2 is so awesome.

"We will attack by your command, my lord....My Lord? General? Captain? Anyone...?"

blackseven · Nov 28th 2009, 3:17am

/facepalm

Somehow, #3 seems the worst to me, as the General had every reason to know he fucked up and could totally get out of it scott-free and purposely decided not to.

Raghar · Nov 28th 2009, 7:31am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning_Count

I'll see all those examples and raise you this...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes

Quote:

This article's factual accuracy is disputed. Please see the relevant discussion on the talk page. (October 2009)

Did badmouthing become history?

Forgetful · Nov 28th 2009, 8:43am

Number three was it?

That general needs an injection of Military Common Sense.

Enosh · Nov 28th 2009, 8:54am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning_Count

I'll see all those examples and raise you this...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes

Self-inflicted defeat

that's such a negative view on it

it was a self inflicting victory, i mean someone had to win in the batle

Lightning_Count · Nov 28th 2009, 9:04am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raghar

Did badmouthing become history?

You'd have to ask the authors of the source materiel

Given the Austrian Army was a multinational force from across Eastern Europe without a common language it's not unfeasible, though it'd be nice to have a primary source. Still, I doubt many commanders would wish to chronicle such a loss

Didn't stop the Turks losing the war though

Raghar · Nov 28th 2009, 9:10am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lightning_Count

You'd have to ask the authors of the source materiel

Well they are dead for only several hundred years.

Quote:

Given the Austrian Army was a multinational force from across Eastern Europe without a common language it's not unfeasible, though it'd be nice to have a primary source. Still, I doubt many commanders would wish to chronicle such a loss

Actually German language was a common language for government officials. I doubt a common person knew it well. (English is simpler than the pain called German language.)

Lightning_Count · Nov 28th 2009, 9:18am

I mean the authors of the books referenced as source material on the page

And while German may have been common for officials and perhaps officers, the blame seems to lay with regular soldiers who likely weren't multi lingual.

Read about this in a newspaper and seemed to fit the topic at hand

Nonite · Nov 28th 2009, 11:24am

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damar

First thing that came to mind when reading 1:

And I thought the SAS bits in Modern Warfare were unrealistic. I guess not.

Prince Charon · Nov 30th 2009, 9:47pm

I find it very disturbing to see military decisions in which I can honestly say I, a civilian with no prior uniformed service (beyond the cub scouts), could have done better. Seriously, Wallace was behind the enemy.

SWPIGWANG · Nov 30th 2009, 11:24pm

Quote:

Seriously, Wallace was behind the enemy.

If you are behind the enemy's front line, it means it you are likely in the middle of the enemy forces....better get out of it and save your bacon!

Nov 27th 2009, 10:53am	#1
legionare DEATH KORPS Join Date: 17 Apr 2005 Location: For me to know, and you to NOT find out, LOL! Posts: 3,935	5 Battlefield Screw Ups That Were Hilarious (Until People Died) http://www.cracked.com/article/208_5...people-died_p1 5 is funny, but 1 just made me go, are you serious?... __________________ Please Donate to the ODMP, or be a good folk and write a reflection to downed officers. http://www.odmp.org/ Deputy Sheriff Adam Michael Mehagan-12/3/09- Osage County Sheriffs Dept. Oklahoma Officer Ronald Owen-11/29/09-Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Officer Greg Richards-11/29/09-Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Officer Tina Griswold-11/29/09- Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Sgt. Mark Renninger- 11/29/09- Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Last edited by legionare; Nov 28th 2009 at 2:27am.

Nov 27th 2009, 8:03pm	#5
Magni Assault Engineer Join Date: 9 May 2009 Location: Ostallgäu, Bavaria Posts: 3,781	You know, I'm normally a follower of the belief that there is no such thing as overkill, but Kiska... 35.000 men, almost 200 ships, several hundred planes to get an island that is by estimate defended by about 500 japanese? 1:70 odds? Yeah, even I think that that's overdoing it a bit. __________________ If God were real, you could charge this guy with conspiracy to commit murder. But he's not, so he's just an impotent freak with an imaginary friend. - Rye, about a pastor praying for Obamas death "In the absence of orders, go find something and kill it." - Field Marshal Erwin Rommel 40K - where the genocidal, xenocidal, fascist, ultraconservative zealots with a morbid fear of technology and an unhealthy fondness for burning things... are the good guys.

Nov 27th 2009, 8:38pm	#6
Desert Fox Vulpes zerda Commodore Join Date: 30 Nov 2003 Location: Trapped in the buckle of the Bible Belt (Tidewater, VA, next to Regent University) Posts: 17,602	It might have been used a practice run as well..... Also, the article is deceptive....Intelligence was that there were 5,200 on the Island As well, 87 of the casualties were due a destroyer hitting a mine and more were due to traps the Japanese left. __________________ "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for his help because he might not be there." --Pat Robertson to Dover, PA

Nov 27th 2009, 11:07pm	#9
Q99 Registered Join Date: 3 Jan 2005 Posts: 34,862	I point to the Dogger Bank Incident/'Voyage of the Damned' __________________ "My name is Mike Nelson...a temp. A radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole. Now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe...on a satellite, a satellite full of strange robotic lifeforms. Help me. Listen please. Is anybody out there who can here me? I'm being hunted by a mad scientist's mother...I'm doing everything I can...I'm just looking for a way home." My deviantArt page <--- check it out

Nov 27th 2009, 11:17pm	#10
legionare DEATH KORPS Join Date: 17 Apr 2005 Location: For me to know, and you to NOT find out, LOL! Posts: 3,935	Thats just funny, if only this was all true! __________________ Please Donate to the ODMP, or be a good folk and write a reflection to downed officers. http://www.odmp.org/ Deputy Sheriff Adam Michael Mehagan-12/3/09- Osage County Sheriffs Dept. Oklahoma Officer Ronald Owen-11/29/09-Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Officer Greg Richards-11/29/09-Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Officer Tina Griswold-11/29/09- Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Sgt. Mark Renninger- 11/29/09- Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Last edited by legionare; Nov 28th 2009 at 1:55am.

Nov 27th 2009, 11:59am	#3
Lightning_Count Felicia Day! Join Date: 28 May 2001 Location: Yorkshire, England Posts: 12,432	I'll see all those examples and raise you this... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kar%C3%A1nsebes __________________ Nuke 'em til they glow then shoot 'em in the dark Don't you smile at me... that's not even a real smile! It's just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind- Faceman My name is Saul Tigh. I'm an officer in the Colonial Fleet. Whatever else I am, whatever else it means, that's the man I want to be. And if I die today, that's the man I'll be AGAMEMNON, Founding member of the Omega class Destroyer appreciation society, severing dreams since '94.

Nov 28th 2009, 12:00am	#11
Dark Asendant Dark Rider Otaku Join Date: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 1,575	I can't decide with is more unbelievably incompetent, #4 or #2. __________________ To live, one must first have a life. To have a life, one must have utter control of his destiny!

Nov 28th 2009, 2:14am	#12
XaLEv Deus das Galinhas Join Date: 4 Apr 2002 Posts: 1,516	Why do people link to the second page of these things? __________________ I am chaos. I am the substance from which your artists and scientists build rhythms. I am the spirit with which your children and clowns laugh in happy anarchy. I am chaos. I am alive, and I tell you that you are free. Brotherhood of the Monkey: Nihongo no Saru

Nov 28th 2009, 2:27am	#13
legionare DEATH KORPS Join Date: 17 Apr 2005 Location: For me to know, and you to NOT find out, LOL! Posts: 3,935	HAPPY NOW PT2 is better! __________________ Please Donate to the ODMP, or be a good folk and write a reflection to downed officers. http://www.odmp.org/ Deputy Sheriff Adam Michael Mehagan-12/3/09- Osage County Sheriffs Dept. Oklahoma Officer Ronald Owen-11/29/09-Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Officer Greg Richards-11/29/09-Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Officer Tina Griswold-11/29/09- Lakewood Police Dept. Wash Sgt. Mark Renninger- 11/29/09- Lakewood Police Dept. Wash

Nov 28th 2009, 2:37am	#14
Desert Fox Vulpes zerda Commodore Join Date: 30 Nov 2003 Location: Trapped in the buckle of the Bible Belt (Tidewater, VA, next to Regent University) Posts: 17,602	I have often thought that it is not the commander who does brilliantly who wins but the one who screws up the least __________________ "I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for his help because he might not be there." --Pat Robertson to Dover, PA

Nov 28th 2009, 2:47am	#15
Roi Danton Bavarian-in-Exile Join Date: 18 Oct 2004 Location: Saarbruecken Posts: 768	#2 is so awesome. "We will attack by your command, my lord....My Lord? General? Captain? Anyone...?"

Nov 28th 2009, 3:17am	#16
blackseven Registered Join Date: 24 Jan 2008 Location: Southern California Posts: 1,256	/facepalm Somehow, #3 seems the worst to me, as the General had every reason to know he fucked up and could totally get out of it scott-free and purposely decided not to. __________________ "A sword worth 100 ryo can be defeated by 100 spears each costing 1 ryo." My complements to you for what I must say is one of the most thoughtful and well reasoned peaces of cya bs I have ever had the good fortune to stumble upon. - Rabe I could spend $50k per month without radically changing my lifestyle. - Lord Squishy

Nov 28th 2009, 9:18am	#22
Lightning_Count Felicia Day! Join Date: 28 May 2001 Location: Yorkshire, England Posts: 12,432	I mean the authors of the books referenced as source material on the page And while German may have been common for officials and perhaps officers, the blame seems to lay with regular soldiers who likely weren't multi lingual. Read about this in a newspaper and seemed to fit the topic at hand __________________ Nuke 'em til they glow then shoot 'em in the dark Don't you smile at me... that's not even a real smile! It's just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind- Faceman My name is Saul Tigh. I'm an officer in the Colonial Fleet. Whatever else I am, whatever else it means, that's the man I want to be. And if I die today, that's the man I'll be AGAMEMNON, Founding member of the Omega class Destroyer appreciation society, severing dreams since '94.

Nov 30th 2009, 9:47pm	#24
Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know? Join Date: 6 Sep 2005 Location: Right behind you, with a HERRING! Posts: 5,394	I find it very disturbing to see military decisions in which I can honestly say I, a civilian with no prior uniformed service (beyond the cub scouts), could have done better. Seriously, Wallace was behind the enemy. __________________ "There is no such thing as an 'inhuman act', for there is no act so vile that one cannot find a human willing, or even eager, to commit it." -- A. G. Lyman (in other words, me) Davy Crockett is one of those things that lets MechWarriors know that yes, this infantry [is] quite angry at them. -- Peter2005 Anyone clicking on this link deserves to get Rick Rolled.

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