You get a Battle Blimp

[WyldCard4]

Tomorrow morning, you find a gigantic yellow blimp floating above your house with your name on it.

You see a rope ladder, and climb up it (bare with me, even if you would never climb up such a rope ladder) and find yourself inside a flamboyantly painted blimp.

Soon, a teenage girl dressed surprisingly like Hannah Montana comes up to you and informs you that the Black Nadir Concordat has given you a Battle Blimp for your own personal use. The blimp is a normal blimp, besides having a deathray that can smash a city. The blimp is staffed largely with intelligent talking ferrets, and she explains that she is your second in command.

All other members of this forum have also been given Battle Blimps.

She explains that Earth is now under attack. Tarl Cabot (the guy from Gor) is leading an invasion of Earth, and he received an Abyssal Exaltation (from Exalted) and is supported by an army of werewolves. He is attacking through a portal in The Netherlands and has millions of werewolves under his command.

She explains that your Battle Blimp is ready to fly to The Netherlands on your orders, if you wish to fight to save the world.

She also explains that she, her crew, and all the crews and seconds in command of the Battle Blimps will not be obeying the orders of SBers that don't involve fighting the war against Tarl Cabot. They've been sent here for a reason. We've bee appointed as commanders, but they still serve the Black Nadir Concordat above all else.

Everything she tells you is true. Every single word of it.

What do you do next?

[sebsmith]

I get the exalted books needed to figure out if my new battle blimp stands a chance against this Tarl Cabot. If it does, I'll go fight. If it doesn't, then I won't.

[cpj1227]

Can I paint a red angry face on mine?

edit: Oh, and obligatory: "Wait, a Wyldcard thread that has advantages (free deathray-armed blimp + privilege of killing Gor-aligned monsters) without any real disadvantages? What's the catch?"

[XenonPrime]

Can I call it Zeppelin instead?

I need to paint it a light brown, add a couple of rocket engines to the back and paint a shark smile on the front.

I shall practice my Russian accent and see if I can load any bombs onto the Zeppelin.

AHAHAHAHA! KIROV REPORTING!

[Imperator Pax]

I reach into my cabinent and grab the vodka and see how much is left...

honestly I think then I'm going to go to France and borrow their nukes.

[Cpl_Facehugger]

Originally Posted by WyldCard4

What do you do next?

Ask her how old she is. And if the answer is "under 18", whether there's some sort of aging device available.

After that, make best speed towards the Netherlands!

On the way, bring myself up to speed on the capabilities of my deathblimp. How long does its death ray take to recharge? Can it communicate with other deathblimps easily? The werewolves are small potatoes, the real threat is the Abyssal.

[WyldCard4]

Originally Posted by cpj1227

Can I paint a red angry face on mine?

edit: Oh, and obligatory: "Wait, a Wyldcard thread that has advantages (free deathray-armed blimp + privilege of killing Gor-aligned monsters) without any real disadvantages? What's the catch?"

You don't know much about Exalted, do you?

Originally Posted by Cpl_Facehugger

Ask her how old she is. And if the answer is "under 18", whether there's some sort of aging device available.

After that, make best speed towards the Netherlands!

On the way, bring myself up to speed on the capabilities of my deathblimp. How long does its death ray take to recharge? Can it communicate with other deathblimps easily? The werewolves are small potatoes, the real threat is the Abyssal.

"15." She grins.

"Not that I care. And no aging devices, sorry."

[Imperator Pax]

I also conscript MJ I'm gonna need 'em

[Don Blake]

Originally Posted by XenonPrime

Can I call it Zeppelin instead?

I need to paint it a light brown, add a couple of rocket engines to the back and paint a shark smile on the front.

I shall practice my Russian accent and see if I can load any bombs onto the Zeppelin.

AHAHAHAHA! KIROV REPORTING!

You can call it a zeppelin if you like, I'm sure, but it will still be a blimp. They're different things, with the most obvious distinguishing features being that a blimp's envelope is help in shape purely by the pressure of the gas inside it, whereas a zeppelin's envelope has an internal framework.

[WyldCard4]

Originally Posted by Don Blake

You can call it a zeppelin if you like, I'm sure, but it will still be a blimp. They're different things, with the most obvious distinguishing features being that a blimp's envelope is help in shape purely by the pressure of the gas inside it, whereas a zeppelin's envelope has an internal framework.

Correct.

It's very much a blimp.

Besides, Battle Blimp sounds better.

[Imperator Pax]

not really

[cpj1227]

Originally Posted by WyldCard4

You don't know much about Exalted, do you?

I know enough to know that Exalts are really fucking powerful and usually fucking crazy and that mortals in Exalted can be accurately described as "fucked" under normal circumstances. That's about it.

We have tens of thousands of blimps with death rays that are, as stated, powerful enough to wipe out a city. I'd say something along the lines of "Surely he couldn't survive that kind of firepower", but 1) that would be tempting fate and 2) I have the feeling that he may well be able to, and be able to survive multiple barrages at that.

...on second thought, yeah, this is almost par for the course for a Wyldcard thread.

[Wolfius]

Originally Posted by WyldCard4

...is supported by an army of werewolves....

DAMN YOU!

.....I like wolves.


Hurm... Is it known why they support him? Because I could use an army of werewolves... [/Grey Warden]


Also? Can I have my deathray mounted on one of these, instead of having a Battle Blimp?

Either way, I spend some time repainting it(you can't go into battle without a proper paint scheme! It's important!), while waiting for the inevitable post-nuclear-apocolypse fallout to clear and figuring out just what the heck an "Abyssal Exaltation" is and what it means for me.

Originally Posted by Cpl_Facehugger

Ask her how old she is. And if the answer is "under 18", whether there's some sort of aging device available.

Originally Posted by WyldCard4

"15." She grins.

"Not that I care. And no aging devices, sorry."

Facehugger?

Remember, there is no such thing as age of consent in international waters, which you will, by neccessity, be crossing.

[WyldCard4]

Originally Posted by Wolfius

DAMN YOU!

.....I like wolves.


Hurm... Is it known why they support him? Because I could use an army of werewolves... [/Grey Warden]

They support him because they sold their souls to the devil so they could turn into terrifying superhuman wolves and eat people in the aftermath of their world's nuclear holocaust.

Also? Can I have my deathray mounted on one of these, instead of having a Battle Blimp?

No, they come factory ordered.

Either way, I spend some time repainting it(you can't go into battle without a proper paint scheme! It's important!), while waiting for the inevitable post-nuclear-apocolypse fallout to clear and figuring out just what the heck an "Abyssal Exaltation" is and what it means for me.

Means empowered by the dead creators of the universe with a twisted version of the weapon that killed them.

Facehugger?

Remember, there is no such thing as age of consent in international waters, which you will, by neccessity, be crossing. [

Hm...

[Entilza]

So basically we're given some blimps with big guns and sent against a guy who can take/avoid our combined firepower without breaking a sweat?

[WyldCard4]

Originally Posted by Entilza

So basically we're given some blimps with big guns and sent against a guy who can take/avoid our combined firepower without breaking a sweat?

Really big guns. And there are a lot of us.

[Cpl_Facehugger]

Originally Posted by Wolfius

Facehugger?

Remember, there is no such thing as age of consent in international waters, which you will, by neccessity, be crossing.

It's more of an ethical thing. Though I might have been able to fudge things if she was 17.

[Entilza]

Originally Posted by WyldCard4

Really big guns. And there are a lot of us.

And we have the reaction time and targeting sensors to hit an Exalted?

[Reaper_93]

We don't necessarily have to, Entilza, as long as we agree to preordained coordinate blanket fire. Enough power to "destroy a city" is somewhere on the order of several megatons, which means between the thousands of us we could probably instantly glass the entirety of the netherlands and several hundred kilometers beyond. I dunno anything about exalted but they probably can't run/teleport/whatever THAT fast if we're expected to be able to fight them at all.

[SotF]

Well, first job is to raid a silver mine for weaponry and armor, these are werewolves we're dealing with after all.

Don't know that much about exalted, but from the sound of it, we might want some holy relics of some sort if abyssal means what I think it means in this situation and we're facing something demonic as well, which means that we may want to recruit the Vatican for data on that sort of thing and whatever relics the Catholic Church has been stockpiling over the centuries.

[Imperator Pax]

I've been to the Vatican!

I didn't exactly see any holy weapons laying around though

[Terry Iterman]

First thing I do is ask her a few questions:

What is her name?
What is the Maximum effective range for the death-ray?
What is the Battle Blimps Maximum Altitude?
What is it's Maximum Speed?
Does it use Hydrogen or Helium for lift?
Is there any reason the blimp is painted yellow, and if so, why?

Knowing the answers to these may take some of the fun out, but I'll be damned if I go down in a ball of fire because I forgot to take some small detail into account.

[Entilza]

Originally Posted by Reaper_93

We don't necessarily have to, Entilza, as long as we agree to preordained coordinate blanket fire. Enough power to "destroy a city" is somewhere on the order of several megatons, which means between the thousands of us we could probably instantly glass the entirety of the netherlands and several hundred kilometers beyond. I dunno anything about exalted but they probably can't run/teleport/whatever THAT fast if we're expected to be able to fight them at all.

And if they just teleport themself onto the outer hull of one of our blimps?

[Imperator Pax]

I say we sink the portal and drown all the wolves. Flood the netherlands.

or like I said borrow france's nukes and lob them

what caste are we fighting

[WyldCard4]

[QUOTE=Terry Iterman;4451138]First thing I do is ask her a few questions:

What is her name?

The girl or the Blimp?

Blimp is unnamed, and all the girls have different backstories, besides being somewhere between 12 (the youngest few) and 17. All are younger than the SpaceBattler officer.
Yours would be Rachael Neal.

What is the Maximum effective range for the death-ray?

Depends on how long you have your ferrets prepare. You need to pretty much tower above the city to fire instantly, after a couple hours you could coil the death ray around the planet, theoretically.

Note, Heavenly Guardian Defense (well the Abyssal Mirror Perfect Defense) will protect the guy, and the werewolves will be heavily spread out by then.

What is the Battle Blimps Maximum Altitude?

Technically capable of space travel, but no life support for it.

What is it's Maximum Speed?

After 1 G acceleration the ferrets refuse to increase acceleration or speed out of fear for the Blimp breaking.

Does it use Hydrogen or Helium for lift?

Hydrogen.

Is there any reason the blimp is painted yellow, and if so, why?

As a tribute to the Unconquered Sun, the God that the Solar Exalted.

What caste are we fighting?

Different guy, but pretty much equally important. Moonshadow Caste. Ranks in Abyssal Command as well as his werewolves.

Knowing the answers to these may take some of the fun out, but I'll be damned if I go down in a ball of fire because I forgot to take some small detail into account.

I enjoy making up weird details.

Originally Posted by Cpl_Facehugger

It's more of an ethical thing. Though I might have been able to fudge things if she was 17.

Your Second in Command is 15. Name's Erin Clearwater.