What the hell is with SAMAS and Pokemon? (Incoherent Rant of the Day)

Captain Hat · Jul 12th 2001, 5:14pm

Well, I can understand someone LIKING Pokemon as a GAME, and I can even derive some amusement from the concept of the little buggers taking on a bunch of sci-fi army-types (MI vs Pokemon... Anyone for flame-grilled Pikachu?) but what I CANNOT understand is getting so enraptured by a bunch of sentient and semi-sentient animals dreampt up by some middle-aged Japanese no-lifer with a small animal obsession (and probably lso either nits or no hair. And a secret stash of newts in jars which he forces to fight each other under delusion that they actually ARE pokemon. And a rare and embarrassing skin condition.) that you must INSIST that they would make sausage meat out of everything under the infinite suns of the sci-fi omniverse!

For example, on the topic f Bun-Bun VS all pokemon ever: Anyone who knows who Bun-Bun is (He's the psychotic and heavily-armed rabbit from Sluggy Freelance who could take out a Gundam without braking a sweat, and finished off the Mecha Easter Bunny who I SWEAR was tougher than Mewto even in one of that pokemon's wildest and wettest dreams and has consistently evaded all of Santa's worldwide Intelligence-gathering network (so accurate it can pinpoint whether a child is naughty or nice in DAYS, guaranteed!) for several years now).

Well, obviously, anything who knows anything about a Baywatch-starved Bun-Bun knows that hose pokemon are gonna fry! More specifically, he's gonna catch 'em all, and then he's gonna kill 'em all, and sacrifice them to Cthulu (and if you don't know who Cthulu is you REALLY have no hope) in an arcane ritual of some sort in order to be returned to a world where "naughty" show like Baywatch are allowed, and in fact encouraged and shown evry hour of the day, and where he will be hailed as a hero for killing everythin remotely cute in a twenty-five mile radius. Hell, if a pre-teen kid with no personality and acne can do it, Bun-Bun sure as hell can.

honestly, SAMAS, I don't know WHY you do it. You're as bad as a Wars or Trek fanatic (see yesterday's Incohernt Rant at http://spacebattles.com/forums/showt...&threadid=9937 ).

And while I'm at it, I'll list a whole bunch of people who I think could eat the Pokemon for breakfast:

Shadows. SPK+pikachu=holey mouse
Vorlons. VPK+pokemon=enough flame-grilled meat to last the entire of B5 for about a week, if any pokemon are edible.
The Galactic Empire (SW). DSII+pokeworld=space dust+DSII
The United Federation of Planets(ST). Can you say "Genesis Device?
The Ewoks. No, seriously. They are more annoying than the pokemon, so when the pokemon do their annoying routine and the Ewoks beat them without breaking a sweat, all the pokemon die of shame.
The Pak. Protectors could take on any pokemon anywhere (given the right kinds of protective clothing), anytime and with anything. Can you say super-intelligent xenophobic psychopath?
The MI. The ORIGINAL MI, from the book as written by Robert Anson Heinlein in whatever year it was he wrote it in. MI means Mobile Infantry, as in Starship Troopers, for those of you too dumb to figure it out.
Any StarCraft race. The Zerg are incredibly vicious, the Protoss footsoldiers can shrug off enough damage to take a house down, and the Terrans have tac nukes. Enough said.

Of course, you ARE entitled to make responses stating how and why I am wrong, but please be aware that since I am writing this whole thing in the postbox with very little thought out before (pikachu going down to a hand-flamer! Heh, now THAT's funny!) I write it... Err, that doesn't work. Anyway. Just be aware of the fact that I will ignore any and all counterpoints you make. (oh, the irony!) If you call me a hypocrite I will call you an idiot. I'm not saying that you wouldn't be justified, I'm saying you're WRONG about so much it disturbs me.

Having achieved my stated objective and lost all coherency in a rant which may have started out making sense but which generally descended into SAMAS-abuse after about the third paragraph (I can't remember and I can't be arsed to check), I will stop there, though I would like to leave you with one last thought to finish with: Pokethulu. Now THERE's a scary concept. The Great Sleeping Pikathulu has come for his own! Gotta catch you all!

(EDIT) I KNEW they had a website with this on it somewhere! Well, anyway, go check out http://www.io.com/~sjohn/poke.htm for just one of the pokethulu-related sites I found on a random Yahoo search(/EDIT)

-Captain Hat

This post was brought to you, live, uncut, not checked in any way for typos and only proofread once(and that was poorly done) by Captain Hat's Incoherent Rants Limited, Maidstone, England. EST 1998. Listen for the pop of freshness when opening.

Oh, wait. There wasn't one. Oh well, screw that then.

In case you haven't guessed, the precise amount of this post in which I was failing to make a poor attempt at humour was, as with yesterday's post, approximately nil. Though I still maintain that the MI could kick every pokemon from here to kingdom come whilst simultaneously holding off all of the Clans, a division of the Empire's best and a whole army of Klingons without breaking a sweat. Whaddya mean exaggerating? OF COURSE I'M F*CKING EXAGGERATING, STUPID!

All of the above is copyright absolutly no-one as of Thursday week. Any attempt to break the horrendously complicated Hrrash copyright law will be sued to death by Absolutely No-one, who is chief administrator of their legal academy. Which is probably why they're in such a mess. Laugh at the silly lawyers, people! Oh, go on! You know you want to! *pulls out a semi-automatic shotgun* I SAID LAUGH, DAMMIT! *canned laughter*

Lord Khorak · Jul 12th 2001, 5:17pm

*ROFLMAO*

Bloody hell! You are a fiesty one ain't ya!

Alexander Falcorian · Jul 12th 2001, 5:28pm

These rants are getting better and better!

M.A.R.S. · Jul 12th 2001, 5:41pm

Random Starship Troopers quote for our resident Ape (and this was seriously random)

"Then you've heard the answer. But I'll give you my own - unofficial - views on it. If you wanted to teach a baby a lesson, would you cut its head off?"

Kittyburger · Jul 12th 2001, 5:46pm

Hey... We need to have SOMEBODY who's a rabid Pokefan to counter out all the rabid Poke-haters...

Meester Bond · Jul 12th 2001, 6:08pm

These rants are impressive. Truly worthy of the name rant

Bob McDob · Jul 12th 2001, 9:02pm

"Just repeat to yourself it's TV show, you should really just relax..."

Heh. We need a Stupid forum so people don't feel obligated to used the VS. for some strange reason

. I say we start the petition right now!

Eishtmo · Jul 12th 2001, 10:48pm

Quote:

Originally posted by Bob McDob
"Just repeat to yourself it's TV show, you should really just relax..."

"For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"

SAMAS · Jul 12th 2001, 11:05pm

Gothmog · Jul 12th 2001, 11:24pm

So......... how many incoherent rants of the day are we going to get per day? I think a title change is needed

**Deathbringer** · Jul 12th 2001, 11:26pm

Quote:

Originally posted by Gothmog
So......... how many incoherent rants of the day are we going to get per day? I think a title change is needed

nah, I think he's been keeping to one per day. it's just that one came at the end of yesterday, and this one came up pretty early today.

I think, at least. I wasn't really paying attention.

CaptainSheridan · Jul 13th 2001, 5:46am

Quote:

Originally posted by SAMAS

Kill it!

Ha! Look at this

Ramius · Jul 13th 2001, 6:05am

DUDE! Where'd you find those smilies? They kick ass

Captain Hat · Jul 13th 2001, 6:08am

That's the spirit!

And yes, it was one per day.

The first one was on the spur of the moment after reading the debate about a single Eclipse-class SSD against a ridiculously huge UFP fleet. Then I went on to read a couple of "pokemon vs -" threads in which our good friend SAMAS made several posts detailing exactly how a nuclear superpower could lose to a bunch of semi-sentient animals, which gave me an Instant Topic for the next one, which is why it got in early... I don't know or care if he's right, and I bear him no ill will, it's just excessively funny. Plus, I live in England, so both posts were made around midnight. I might have got the timing wrong for US ciizens...

CaptainSheridan · Jul 13th 2001, 6:13am

Quote:

Originally posted by Ramius
DUDE! Where'd you find those smilies? They kick ass

Go to http://mysmilies.com/as/index/1.shtml and look at contributors. You'll find 'em.

Jul 12th 2001, 5:14pm	#1
Captain Hat Blast Fucking Hardcheese Engineer Join Date: 19 Jun 2001 Location: the Bridge of the Mad Hatter Posts: 10,033	What the hell is with SAMAS and Pokemon? (Incoherent Rant of the Day) Well, I can understand someone LIKING Pokemon as a GAME, and I can even derive some amusement from the concept of the little buggers taking on a bunch of sci-fi army-types (MI vs Pokemon... Anyone for flame-grilled Pikachu?) but what I CANNOT understand is getting so enraptured by a bunch of sentient and semi-sentient animals dreampt up by some middle-aged Japanese no-lifer with a small animal obsession (and probably lso either nits or no hair. And a secret stash of newts in jars which he forces to fight each other under delusion that they actually ARE pokemon. And a rare and embarrassing skin condition.) that you must INSIST that they would make sausage meat out of everything under the infinite suns of the sci-fi omniverse! For example, on the topic f Bun-Bun VS all pokemon ever: Anyone who knows who Bun-Bun is (He's the psychotic and heavily-armed rabbit from Sluggy Freelance who could take out a Gundam without braking a sweat, and finished off the Mecha Easter Bunny who I SWEAR was tougher than Mewto even in one of that pokemon's wildest and wettest dreams and has consistently evaded all of Santa's worldwide Intelligence-gathering network (so accurate it can pinpoint whether a child is naughty or nice in DAYS, guaranteed!) for several years now). Well, obviously, anything who knows anything about a Baywatch-starved Bun-Bun knows that hose pokemon are gonna fry! More specifically, he's gonna catch 'em all, and then he's gonna kill 'em all, and sacrifice them to Cthulu (and if you don't know who Cthulu is you REALLY have no hope) in an arcane ritual of some sort in order to be returned to a world where "naughty" show like Baywatch are allowed, and in fact encouraged and shown evry hour of the day, and where he will be hailed as a hero for killing everythin remotely cute in a twenty-five mile radius. Hell, if a pre-teen kid with no personality and acne can do it, Bun-Bun sure as hell can. honestly, SAMAS, I don't know WHY you do it. You're as bad as a Wars or Trek fanatic (see yesterday's Incohernt Rant at http://spacebattles.com/forums/showt...&threadid=9937 ). And while I'm at it, I'll list a whole bunch of people who I think could eat the Pokemon for breakfast: Shadows. SPK+pikachu=holey mouse Vorlons. VPK+pokemon=enough flame-grilled meat to last the entire of B5 for about a week, if any pokemon are edible. The Galactic Empire (SW). DSII+pokeworld=space dust+DSII The United Federation of Planets(ST). Can you say "Genesis Device? The Ewoks. No, seriously. They are more annoying than the pokemon, so when the pokemon do their annoying routine and the Ewoks beat them without breaking a sweat, all the pokemon die of shame. The Pak. Protectors could take on any pokemon anywhere (given the right kinds of protective clothing), anytime and with anything. Can you say super-intelligent xenophobic psychopath? The MI. The ORIGINAL MI, from the book as written by Robert Anson Heinlein in whatever year it was he wrote it in. MI means Mobile Infantry, as in Starship Troopers, for those of you too dumb to figure it out. Any StarCraft race. The Zerg are incredibly vicious, the Protoss footsoldiers can shrug off enough damage to take a house down, and the Terrans have tac nukes. Enough said. Of course, you ARE entitled to make responses stating how and why I am wrong, but please be aware that since I am writing this whole thing in the postbox with very little thought out before (pikachu going down to a hand-flamer! Heh, now THAT's funny!) I write it... Err, that doesn't work. Anyway. Just be aware of the fact that I will ignore any and all counterpoints you make. (oh, the irony!) If you call me a hypocrite I will call you an idiot. I'm not saying that you wouldn't be justified, I'm saying you're WRONG about so much it disturbs me. Having achieved my stated objective and lost all coherency in a rant which may have started out making sense but which generally descended into SAMAS-abuse after about the third paragraph (I can't remember and I can't be arsed to check), I will stop there, though I would like to leave you with one last thought to finish with: Pokethulu. Now THERE's a scary concept. The Great Sleeping Pikathulu has come for his own! Gotta catch you all! (EDIT) I KNEW they had a website with this on it somewhere! Well, anyway, go check out http://www.io.com/~sjohn/poke.htm for just one of the pokethulu-related sites I found on a random Yahoo search(/EDIT) -Captain Hat This post was brought to you, live, uncut, not checked in any way for typos and only proofread once(and that was poorly done) by Captain Hat's Incoherent Rants Limited, Maidstone, England. EST 1998. Listen for the pop of freshness when opening. Oh, wait. There wasn't one. Oh well, screw that then. In case you haven't guessed, the precise amount of this post in which I was failing to make a poor attempt at humour was, as with yesterday's post, approximately nil. Though I still maintain that the MI could kick every pokemon from here to kingdom come whilst simultaneously holding off all of the Clans, a division of the Empire's best and a whole army of Klingons without breaking a sweat. Whaddya mean exaggerating? OF COURSE I'M FCKING EXAGGERATING, STUPID! All of the above is copyright absolutly no-one as of Thursday week. Any attempt to break the horrendously complicated Hrrash copyright law will be sued to death by Absolutely No-one, who is chief administrator of their legal academy. Which is probably why they're in such a mess. Laugh at the silly lawyers, people! Oh, go on! You know you want to! pulls out a semi-automatic shotgun* I SAID LAUGH, DAMMIT! canned laughter __________________ Would-be founder of the Knights of the Moderately Apathetic. If only I could be bothered. We'd kick your arse if we existed, and we cared enough. Probably. Fuck the Nazis. Last edited by Captain Hat; Jul 12th 2001 at 5:19pm.

Jul 12th 2001, 5:28pm	#3
Alexander Falcorian Supernova Cosmologist Lord of Ether Join Date: 28 Jun 2000 Posts: 12,162	These rants are getting better and better! __________________ "In to the fires of battle, unto the anvil of war!" - Salamander Chapter Battle Cry Bolos: You gotta love 'em (or else!) Solidarity

Jul 12th 2001, 5:41pm	#4
M.A.R.S. Registered Join Date: 2 Jul 2001 Posts: 59	Random Starship Troopers quote for our resident Ape (and this was seriously random) "Then you've heard the answer. But I'll give you my own - unofficial - views on it. If you wanted to teach a baby a lesson, would you cut its head off?" __________________ "You should not have any special fondness for a particular weapon, or anything else for that matter. Too much is the same as not enough." - Miyamoto Musashi, The Book of Five Rings

Jul 12th 2001, 5:46pm	#5
Kittyburger Evil Sexy Bitch Goddess Join Date: 28 May 2000 Location: At home: Minneapolis/At work: AT&T Mobility Posts: 13,487	Hey... We need to have SOMEBODY who's a rabid Pokefan to counter out all the rabid Poke-haters... __________________ My Name Is Katie. Transsexual * Witch * Liberal * Priestess of Venus Castina

Jul 12th 2001, 6:08pm	#6
Meester Bond Ryouko's High Priest Join Date: 27 May 2000 Posts: 6,756	These rants are impressive. Truly worthy of the name rant __________________ This is a signiture. Amazing little beast, isn't it.

Jul 12th 2001, 5:17pm	#2
Lord Khorak BANNED Join Date: 12 Mar 2001 Posts: 21,756	ROFLMAO Bloody hell! You are a fiesty one ain't ya!

Jul 12th 2001, 9:02pm	#7
Bob McDob Hero of the Soviet Union Join Date: 18 May 2001 Posts: 4,384	"Just repeat to yourself it's TV show, you should really just relax..." Heh. We need a Stupid forum so people don't feel obligated to used the VS. for some strange reason . I say we start the petition right now! __________________ "The Soviet Union is always innocent: it only repels perfidious aggressors. On other people's territory". - Viktor Suvorov

Jul 12th 2001, 11:05pm	#9
SAMAS Not an armored Jigglypuff Join Date: 12 Jun 2000 Location: Houston, Texas, USA Posts: 8,503	__________________ What is a Twilight? A miserable pile of sparkles! But enough talk, HAVE AT YOU! -

Jul 12th 2001, 11:24pm	#10
Gothmog Lord of Balrogs Join Date: 6 Mar 2000 Location: Angband, Beleriand, Middle-Earth Posts: 2,908	So......... how many incoherent rants of the day are we going to get per day? I think a title change is needed __________________ "Only those whose lives are brief could imagine that love is eternal" --Lorien "Evil 'round every corner... careful not to step in it!" "Butt-kicking for Goodness!!" "Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the eyes!!!" --Minsc (and Boo!) Rabid Member of the CoW (Cult of Weber, for the Unwashed and Uneducated amongst you)

Jul 13th 2001, 6:05am	#13
Ramius Irate GM Alpha One Join Date: 5 Nov 2000 Location: Between Infinity and Eternity Posts: 2,980	DUDE! Where'd you find those smilies? They kick ass __________________ "Billions of dollars in R&D, design and production, so America can have a fighter that looks good for the Superbowl flyover. Hot damn you guys are so going the way of the Romans..." - Lord Khorak on Superbowl 39's Flyover "30mm??? Who the fucks claiming Stormies can survive that?" -Capt.Sheridan on Stormie Armor

Jul 13th 2001, 6:08am	#14
Captain Hat Blast Fucking Hardcheese Engineer Join Date: 19 Jun 2001 Location: the Bridge of the Mad Hatter Posts: 10,033	That's the spirit! And yes, it was one per day. The first one was on the spur of the moment after reading the debate about a single Eclipse-class SSD against a ridiculously huge UFP fleet. Then I went on to read a couple of "pokemon vs -" threads in which our good friend SAMAS made several posts detailing exactly how a nuclear superpower could lose to a bunch of semi-sentient animals, which gave me an Instant Topic for the next one, which is why it got in early... I don't know or care if he's right, and I bear him no ill will, it's just excessively funny. Plus, I live in England, so both posts were made around midnight. I might have got the timing wrong for US ciizens... __________________ Would-be founder of the Knights of the Moderately Apathetic. If only I could be bothered. We'd kick your arse if we existed, and we cared enough. Probably. Fuck the Nazis.

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