Breaking In Louise (ZnT Discussion) Pt 3

Dialogue is not only unnecessary but sometimes counter-productive in short atmosphere pieces. It doesn't really fit unless one adds a whole other layer of detail which expands it considerably.
So, I'd say it could be better but was hardly sub-par.

I can't remember if it's been suggested but has Grim Jr. from the epic Grim Tales comic been raised yet? It would be interesting to see the FoZ react to his presence, basically being the prince of the underworld/son of death. Especially if it's pre-series, considering that he has a MASSIVE inferiority complex die to his sister Minnie getting all the praise. I feel that once Louise gets over the whole "Holy shit I summoned a demon" they could honestly bond over the fact that they both have overachieving siblings and struggle to prove their worth.

Overly long names you say?


Zero just tends towards cheesy names, so you'd have to bear with it.
Zero Days of Dawn Deliverer, or something in that vein?
Zero Survival Reaper
Ground Zero Catastrophe (obligatory)

@Darth
IIRC, weren't only 20,000 the soldiers of them brainwashed? At that, I could see the army breaking when a monstrous warrior slaughters its way through the first several thousand without being hurt or slowing...

@Sliver
Heh, nice. Skyfalling dragons is a great use of that skill. Needs a Yi snip some time though. He's my main when I have competent team mates. I hold that he's one of the scariest warrior types in LoL, with the whole "so fast he's a blur compared to other champions" thing. Well that, and being a awesomely devastating carry... and the armies reaction when their entire mage corps opens up on him and five seconds later he's meditating, completely unharmed


On my own stuff...
Urgh, connecting disparate magic systems is complicated. All that theory work to do so D: Current thought is that: ZnT Magery is Focus Required or maybe it's only the spells! Would explain Karin having a custom, wandless spell. It's generally quite high, as Line and Triangle mages can throw some impressive attacks without tiring much. The spells are where the issues come from: They're heavily tuned towards an element, which causes issues when someone of the wrong element tries to use them. Void potential is standard magery. Void mages, chosen by the system, are special, able to enhance normal spells with void and use the powerful, if slow, void college. Void College is terrifying because in exchange for casting time, one can draw power out of elsewhere, as well as massively amplify the caster's own power.

20% of the normal time? That means Karin has 25+ skill o.o

And that reminds me that if I continue this, eventually there's likely to be a Karin-Drailin staredown - he won't put up with that shit towards his new 'little sister' (which will likely involve blowups at the academy also: he's had some similar, if not as extreme, issues in childhood). Which can only lead to horror for everyone else involved. Karin's rule of steel powered glaring and staring techniques versus 'he hasn't killed anyone in SIMA because everyone is too terrified of him' Drailin. If Intimidation was a force, it would be causing the lighting to flicker, the shadow to draw out, and the air to turn cold (Though in a duel, his only chance of winning would be to 'cheat' with fun OOContext spells like Teleport. Karin is scary.)

Quite.

Hmm. See, sadly I've also got the Alchemical name generator in my brain running, and that's easy, because things like Zero Point Armiger or Custodian of Absolute Zero are good, solid Alchemical names.

Aha! The Lady of Zero Faith and One Hollow Heart. A good Midnight name, and by bringing in a numerical theme, the 'zero' is less egerious.

(Louise, of course, chooses to abbreviate it to "Faith", because it's a bit long for casual use.)

*scurries off to edit*

Master Yi, I don't play him all that much, I'll have to get used to him before I write something for him. All the characters I've written, I play as. And with that lack of cleaver transition...
_____________________________________________________________________________________
It was impossible, for the army of Albion to be defeated by one... thing. The general in charge stared disconsolately through a spyglass before turning to his second in command. "Let the Mages have their fun with it, just stop it from killing so many men."

"It will be done my lord."

Mages on dragonback descended from the sky, circling the chaos that was the focus of the battle. One man, cockier than the rest got a little too close, a massive axe seeming to spring from his dragons chest in a shower of blood and viscera. Power built in the air, the beast below slaughtering more men, seeming to get more powerful the more they hurt it. Laughing off wounds that would kill a normal man, it carved a bloody swath through the soldiers unfortunate enough to get in its way.

The mages in the air focused their power, letting it build so that they could end this monster. A mage who had some foresight cast a spell to keep the... thing from escaping. The spells built up, capable of slicing golems to ribbons, then were released just as the creature did something absolutely insane. It caught fire, somehow fighting free of the binding. It was too late however, the spells impacted. A massive cloud of dust and dirt fountaining up. The soldiers below backed away, wary. The mages above waited to see the giant corpse. The leader of the corps got closer to see what was in the cloud. A massive blade took his head off, the creature stormed out of the cloud bellowing and on fire, its many many wounds closing before their eyes. The last thing many heard:

"MUNDO TOO STRONG FOR YOU!"

Ooooh, good one.

What the hell, let's do this!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Honestly, many were thinking, if the Blademaster of Zero had been murdering every last soldier, covered in gore and blood... it would have been less terrifying. As it was he walked - if one could call such speed walking - through them, casually ignoring the swings and thrusts of the Albionese infantry. Ceaselessly commenting, pointing out flaws in their posture, improper grips, and on and on, he would occasionally deign to parry a blow, following such up with a compliment of all things.

It had been bewildering at first, almost surreal. They had wondered if he was actually there to stop them, or simply bored.

That was answered not long after.

The first time, it had been simply confusing. The second, unsettling. The third and thereon, it had left them feeling chilled, the morale of everyone wavering. Seemingly at random, he would suddenly blur, a thundering roar would tear overhead, and but a moment later several officers or the occasional mage would come apart like alvis... and every time he would be standing there atop the shoulders of the last victim as it fell to the ground.

The leadership wasn't stupid. They knew that if such a thing kept up, the army would break and run when left with no commanders.

Orders went out, soldiers obeyed. They parted, opening a space around him, as mages gathered and circled above, out of his terrible reach. He smirked, stopping almost politely in the middle of the sudden clearing, before kneeling on the ground.

The mages exulted, as their enemy gave them such an easy target in his arrogance. They gathered, they coordinated, they chanted, and a holocaust of fiery blasts, razor sharp winds, crushing boulders, and lances of ice pummeled the target and the ground around it. The mages may have been somewhat 'trigger happy', but to them such arrogance was personal.

Which was why everyone froze when a raspy laugh like that of an old man came through, and the haze of heat and flames cleared to show him wrapped in a green aura with his blade held ceremonially, the few burns and cuts on him closing.

"Your skills are inferior," he sneered at them, before jauntily setting off once more towards the back of the army.

THis makes me wonder, would his cakes be good enough to match with Morgana's bakery chain?

yeah, it was a bit lacking. It played waay too close to canon and doesn't really show anything new despite the character at hand.

Most people would have died of that... but MUNDO does what he pleases.

This was probably caused because he couldn't fly in first class. Dammit, he never fly coach!

Now I'm reminded of another game where Mundo was telling the other team to try harder and one of the other team told him to shut his mouth. Somebody in Mundo team told it it was physically impossible to make him shut his mouth.

The mental image still has me giggling X3

What the hell what? I just don't play him all that much, I prefer other characters. I've taken a couple of games with him, but I prefer Jax or Twisted fate for speed-damage. He's a good character.

Edit: Ah, I get it now... Seemed sort of random at the time.

I still love Corporate Mundo. "MUNDO FIRE!"

I remember arranged queuing with all Ionia/Demacians, and we would, of course, type "DEMAAAACCCCIIIIAAAAAA" all at once before every team attack.

(That does remind me of those games where I get horribly fed as Yi... and instead of ending it, I just screw around. Run circles around people, act like a drunk master, warn them before attacking, and so on.)

@Above:
"What the hell, let's do this"

I'll make it clearer

Edit:Edited.

Dahak, good stuff. At this rate, Saxe-Gotha seems to be more like a line for harvesting creep Nobody got to call for Bromacia?

Sliver, thanks for that!

With all of these LoL/ZnT ficts...
Random Idea: What if Runeterra is just a few miles away from Halkeginia...

Well, I've never seen a map that includes the Americas... :drevil:

but the world wars from Runeterra were bad enough everybody agreed the League is much better alternative than having any more wars ever.

Then there are things like newspapers being mass produced, blimps races mixing steam punk and magictek and such.

Helkagia should have at least be beyond steam technology... unless Helkagia has been sealed for some reason... otherwise I imagine Karin would have been picked as one of Helkagia's champions as representative of the Brimir nations.

EDIT:

Hmmm,

When Cho'tan sees the elves:

"You race is a SCOURGE upon your world!"

Oh dear god, Karin as a champion. No, she would be a boss like whatshisname. With that horrific glare that promises punishment...


Also, that's just Cho's catch phrase. He should say it constantly.

Meet Slyphid? "You race is a SCOURGE upon your world!"
Meet Verdandi? "You race is a SCOURGE upon your world!"
Meet Flame? "You race is a SCOURGE upon your world!"
Meet a clone of himself? "You race is a SCOURGE upon your world!"
Except for Karin. "Yes ma'am. At once ma'am. Your race is a wonderful blessing upon this world, ma'am."

Well here is the second snippet of my ZNT fic with an Original Character.

There are some things I don't quite like about it, Louise's conversation with Osmond escalated to more than I wanted and I don't like the name that I chose for the familiar, but I was out of ideas of that front.

Let me know your opinion about it guys.

This starts roughly six years after Louise summoned a familiar.

Edit:
Previous sninpet: http://forums.spacebattles.com/showpost.php?p=6552415&postcount=3740

Oh yes, he would be scared of Karin, but not because of her intimidating presence. Oh no.

Remember he is a Voidspawn. Anything human is extremely disgusting to look at. It would be more of "SUMMONER! Get that THING away from me!"

Okay then, let's try this:

Teach Me, Mio-Sensei!

Louise Valliere was a noble, and as a noble she was entitled to certain privileges. One such privilege was that she did not have to wake up before dawn to tend to crops or fire up a blacksmith's forge or perform some other manner of menial labor; instead she got to sleep in until the sun was a fair distance over the horizon. This was a privilege she took advantage of as often as was humanly possible, which was to say pretty much every morning, so she was used to experiencing that pleasant in-between state where one is not asleep but also not fully awake. She was not used to waking up all at once to the sound of a high-pitched whistle going off right next to her ear.

This much was obvious to Mio from the way she all but catapulted herself out of bed in shock when said whistle was provided, and though she wasn't a sadist (Much. She was a drill instructor, after all), Mio resolved to enjoy that reaction as often as she could get it before Louise got used to waking up like this.

"Rise and shine Valliere, it's time to get up!"

Louise, lying in a pile of sheets on the floor, groaned and sat up. She glanced out the window for a moment, then glared at Mio.

"The sun hasn't even risen yet familiar, what possible reason could you have for waking me up at this ungodly hour? And when did I give you permission to address me so casually?"

"I could ask you the same question, Valliere!" Mio barked cheerfully, completely ignoring Louise's glare. "I seem to recall telling you that my name is Mio Sakamoto, and that you will address me as Major for the duration of your training schedule!"

"My what?"

"You heard me, recruit! As your familiar I'm charged with protecting you, and although I intend to do that to the furthest extent of my abilities, the best way to ensure your safety at all times is to be certain that you know how to protect yourself! That means training, and lots of it!"

"But I already take classes for magic use!" Louise protested, starting to extract herself from the sheets.

"I didn't say anything about magic training, recruit! Now hurry up, dress yourself in something you won't mind getting dirty. And be quick about it!"

Mio turned and grabbed her katana, heading for the door. "If you're not ready in five minutes I'm dragging you outside in whatever you are or aren't wearing and you'll do your exercises in that!"

"Wait a minute, I'm not done with you yet!"

"Chop chop Valliere, clock's ticking!" And then she was out the door, leaving Louise alone in her room wondering what the hell had just happened.

***

Want more? Y/N?

More good stuff.

The mention of runes makes me feel more confident in using them at some point as well.

I get this feeling that he would find something distinctly wrong with her compared to even other humans. The whole cold, emotionless rule of steel thing. Well, that, and her easily being top tier champion material in terms of power.



Whee, now to reform Enchantment rules...

Yes, oh yes! Can't wait for Mio's laugh.

Well I also intend to do something with the runes, that's way I put that little bit into the snippet, although I don't know how correct what I wrote there is compared to canon.

MUCH Better! Hmmm, no what to do......

-Y-

bah, no more than some of the other champions. And the champions are used to dying, dying because it was part of the strategy. Karin may have a strong will, but she's just Human after all.

ANYWAY!

my turn at a LoL summon. Cho'gath!

Wardes slowly backed away from the... the demon in front of him. The pink haired demonspawn grinned down at him with a mouth full of way too many fangs. The first time he had seen the Familiar she had been but a slip of a girl, just a smidge taller than his little Louise.

Now?

Now the Familiar was at least twice his size, far taller than his own gryphon Familiar. The spines he had considered nothing but silly decorations now gleamed with gore and blood, her tail's mace was massive enough that it could have flattened a horse and its rider without problems and the blades sprouting out of her back had cut a dragon in half with ease.

She had called herself a Voidspawn... maybe the Elves claims that Void was a demonic power wasn't that far off the mark.

Another of his clones cast another spear of lighting at the Familiar, tearing another hole on her side but the monstrosity simply kept stalking after him, the REAL him, her body mending itself back together as she tore pieces of the corpse in her hand.

“Onnomnomnomnom!” she licked her lips, green eyes gleaming with an inner flame that somehow released a green smoke. “You shall not escape, hideous fool!” the terrible voice was like the voice of a young girl accompanied by hundreds monsters from hell. She hurled the torso at one of his clones, so fast and hard enough Wardes could hear both bodies's bones shattering upon impact. The fallen copy dispersed in a burst of magic, returning to its maker; Wardes couldn't help flinching at the feedback of memories that came with the clone's death.

“Afraid of the dweller of the Void? Too late now! You are no longer entertaining, fool! The Summoner will no longer keep me from feasting on you!”

“Go back to the hell you came from, demon!” Wardes tried to keep himself from succumbing to his mounting terror.

“Were you not the one who wanted a duel? The Summoner stopped me before! She has seen through you now, PERFECT, now you are free game!” she chuckled, the sound that of boulders grounding corpses, and got down to her hands and knees to better stare Wardes on the eye.

“Die!” all the remaining clones closed in on the demon spawn.

“Up you go!” The smile grew impossible larger and then spikes burst out off the ground around the monster, tearing through all the clones in a single hit, turning their bodies into a fine myst in a moment.

Wardes staggered back, his experience keeping him from making the mistake of falling the the ground or running away. That had been unpleasant.

“It is funny, isn't it? How your friends can blow up like that,” the spawn giggled in a little girl's voice.

“Even if you kill me now, somebody else will-.”

“QUIET!” the Familiar roared and Wardes was blown away. Seeing the ground that the Familiar had provided him with he immediately tried to cast a spell but something was wrong! He couldn't even feel the magic building up, no matter how hard he tried to call for it!

The familiar rose tall to its feet, laughing deeply.

"Death? No, Death is not the end for you. I have seen to it. For eternity. YOU. ARE. MINE!"

=================

Before that, when Louise is trying to figure out if there's something Cho'gath won't eat Louise asks her what she is used to eat.

“Humans, Yordles, robots, humans riding yetis, Yordles riding robots, formerly human robots, elementals, shadows, minotaurs, liches, giant armadillos, anthropomorphic dogs, anthropomorphic crocodiles, werewolves, Vampires, vampire hunters, Yordle mummies, wraiths, gorgons, human ninjas, Yordle ninjas, icy phoenixes, angels, other angels, other Eldritch Abominations, scarecrows, wolves, scary demons, golems, scary humanoid demons, mobile trees, trolls, gargoyles, zombies, Yordle inventors, ''totally'' non-dwarves, crystalline scorpions, dragons, METAL suits of armor, Purple Skinned Star Babes, human-raven-things, Yordles, giant lizards, anthropomorphic rats, sea monsters, zombie cyborg crab things, anthropomorphic monkeys, Yordles, Mymself, and Yordles.”

Awesome, I'll see what I can do then.

Fun question: where exactly does the AK-47, the Tiger tank and the rest of the military equipment show up?

In keeping with the pattern of adjusting the imported tech to fit the crossover, I'm thinking the Staff of Destruction might be a Land Striker. The Dragon's Raiment being a Striker Unit for Mio's use fits perfectly if Siesta is the granddaughter of a Witch, but that means Siesta would be a witch too and it would be a shame for her to have no way to help out during, say, the invasion of Tarbes.

Nice... Certainly entertaining, sort of like my little snip with Annie. Poor Wardes, should have stacked Magic Resistance and speed. Only a couple of problems with tenses, but those aren't too hard to ignore.

I actually think removing "One" from it makes it flow better. "The Lady of Zero Faith and Hollow Heart"