1. The Rules of Spacebattles are now in a convenient location. Read them. Do it now.
  2. We now have an official FAQ. The link is in the nav bar but can also be found directly here:

    http://forums.spacebattles.com/faq/

    Feel free to submit questions so it can become more thorough.

Glorious Shotgun Princess (ME/Exalted) Thread #2

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by GreggHL, Jan 20, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
This thread lies dormant for more than 14 days. Restarting it causes mods to gaze in your direction.
  1. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    Table of Contents

    Well, the previous thread has broken reality/the board, so let's start a new one! Same rules apply as always, and I shall be adding snippies/other stuff soon enough. As well as updating the ToC.

    Previous Thread

    All credit goes to Kimia for the Table of Contents:

    Snip .1a Illium; Super!Shepard; Tali; Garrus; Miranda
    Snip .1b Beat Everything; Nassana Dantius; Thane Krios; Healing Punch
    Snip .1b2 Rewrite of .1b and .1a; Beat Everything; Nassana Dantius; Thane Krios; Healing Punch
    Snip .1c Normandy Wreck; Dying; Exaltation
    Snip .1d Bury the Dead
    Snip .1e Mercs Appear; Bullet Dodging; Dead Shuttle
    Snip .1f Use Merc as Weapon; Another Dead Shuttle
    Snip .1g Hot Tub; Thermal Clips; Appearence Upgrade; Geth Surprise
    Snip .1h Getting Dressed; Talking Geth; Named WUFFLES
    Snip .1i Out of Reach Ship; Silly Wuffles; Make a Shelter; Geth Minions
    Snip .1ib More Detail; Make a Shelter; Geth Minions
    Snip .1j Shelter; Bath; Thermal Clips look like...; Shouldn't Ask
    Snip .1k Talking with Geth; Explainations
    Snip .1l Asari; Anger; Yet another dead shuttle; Shadow Broker
    Snip .1m Bury The Dead; Mediation; Hot Tub Time; Peeping Geth; Don't Ask; Asked Anyways
    Snip .1n Liara; Way to ruin the moment
    Snip .1o Liara; Meet the Wuffles; What
    Chapter One

    Snip .2a Jane; Krogan; Punch
    Snip .2b Jane; Krogan; Punch; Illium; Liara; Make a Plan
    Snip .2c Illium; Liara; Make a Plan; Miranda; Geth!; Catch a Bullet
    Snip .2d Wake up; Need a Drink
    Snip .2e For science!; Cry Me a River
    Snip .2f Wake up; Need a Drink; Break the Science; Noticing lies; Hello, Matriarch
    Snip .2g So?; In my time; Meet the Father
    Snip .2h Talking about family; Buzzing Lying
    Snip .2i Talking about family; Buzzing Lying; Arriving; Everything goes boom
    Snip .2j Shepard is not amused; Super!Shepard jump
    Snip .2k Reports and firefights; Bullet dodging; Innuendo; Guns can be useful without bullets; Always listen to the minions
    Snip .2l Betrayal; Gimme; The pilot; Start the Chase!
    Snip .2m Buckle up; Crazy Driving; Push the Button; Punch Everything
    Snip .2mb Crazy Driving; Super Hero quip
    Snip .2n Buckle up; Crazy Driving; Super Hero quip; Push the Button; Punch Everything; TRUCK!
    Snip .2o Impossibilities; This thing got Weapons?; More Crazy Driving; Always Buckle Up
    Snip .2p Get off my car!; Here's Wuffles!; Stopping with a punch; Geth give the best gifts; Bad-ass boast
    Snip .2q Dizzy; The Result of the crazy driving; Azure; Innuendo; Punch card; Freebie; TMI
    Snip .2r Fight time; Talk while fighting
    Chapter Two

    Snip .3a Wuffles hates elevators; Why hello, Miss Zorah; Exit: Through the Roof
    Snip .3b Tide turning; Rise, child of the sun; Illuminate
    Snip .3c That hole is good for something; The name makes it true; We're taking the elevator
    Snip .3cb That hole is good for something; The name makes it true; We're taking the elevator; :facepalm: Prazza
    Snip .3d You can be more; Charm; Shadow Broker should be running
    Snip .3e Poor Miranda; Aura of the Sun; Interruption; Prazza, just give up already
    Snip .3f You can be more; Charm; Shadow Broker should be running; Poor Miranda; Aura of the Sun; Interruption; Prazza, just give up already; I'm driving; Pet Geth?; The Claw Hammer; :insert record scratch: What
    Snip .3g Interrogation through terror; bullshit detector; Not dropping the coffee; Admitting the truth; Bad track record; Bring in the taco cart; Oh, Joker, how close to the truth
    Snip .3h TIM; Report, Lawson; All going to plan; Oh, Shit
    Snip .3i Cerberus just can't get it right; Betting on the outcome; Miranda, stop interrupting!; And the AI did what?
    Snip .3j Landing; Digging a deeper hole; That was a joke; "You're all idiots and need to watch the safety videos again"; Cerberus screwed up in reverse
    Snip .3k Girl next door; Like the ship?; Joker does!
    Snip .3l AIs talking; So much innuendo; Dirty jokes
    Snip .3m Nightmare inducing; Oh, what the hell?!
    Snip .3n AIs talking; So much innuendo; Dirty jokes; Nightmare inducing; Oh, what the hell?!; Big reveal; What all the buzzing was about
    Snip .3o TIMmy; EMI; Status and Odds; ...Silver floating sphere...?
    Snip .3p Details, Gimme details; Hold on, taking notes; I've got an idea...
    Chapter Three

    Snip .4a TMI, Kelly; Oh, Wuffles...; Kelly did what?; Missed the point, Wuffles
    Snip .4b Yes, we do watch you walk, Tali; So, EDI, life story?; Troll EDI trolling
    Snip .4c So, you let the dangerous AI free; Yep; Winning the bet
    Snip .4d So, you let the dangerous AI free; Yep; Winning the bet; Meet the boss; TIMmy!; The Zenith
    Snip .4e Thief; Singing a song of doom; Zoo time; Mailing something with teeth
    Snip .4f Now hear this; You can be better; Taking the Ship
    Snip .4g Onwards!; You have a call; Teleportation ain't no thang; Mindhax; Behold the Sidereal
    Snip .4h Mindhax are fun; You're new; More mindhax; Auntie Kasumi's Magical Kung Fu School for Girls
    Snip .4i More Mindhax; Details, Please; That was a joke; No Tali!hips? :cries:; Family trees are weird; Everyone goes to the cockpit
    Snip .4ib More Mindhax; Details, Please; That was a joke; No Tali!hips? :cries:; Family trees are weird; Everyone goes to the cockpit; Wait, What?
    Snip .4j Have some strength; What; Joker's mind: BROKEN
    Snip .4k Bullshit; Chakwas is not amused; Joker is not in right now; Quarians drive normally
    Snip .4kb Bullshit; Chakwas is not amused; Joker is not in right now; Quarians drive normally; More detail
    Snip .4l Quarians drive normally; Leather seats; Incoming; Look into the universe
    Snip .4m Dynamic Entry; Why, hello there!; Awesome answer; Meet me in my office
    Snip .4n TIMmy doing TIMmy things; Well that didn't send a chill down my spine at all!
    Snip .4o So, here it is; Sorry, need more evidence; Have a mentor
    Snip .4p Awww, it's so cute; So a geth and an AI walk down a street
    Snip .4q Geth do not intentionally infiltrate
    Snip .4r Oh, Shepard; Let's teach you how to walk like a lady; Strutting time!
    Snip .4s There are no fish in the Presidium lake; Oh not Al-Jilani; Break the camera; That was a joke
    Snip .4t Oh snap; Reaper time!
    Snip .4u Bring popcorn; Walk like a female, Shepard; High heels are evil; Land on your face
    Snip .4v Liara walks like a professor; Tali and high heels; Enter the original krogan walker; Hannah Shepard; Where'd you get the boobs?
    Chapter Four

    Snip .5a Classical dance, not stripping; You spent how long in college?
    Snip .5ab Classical dance, not stripping; You spent how long in college?; Piggy back rides!; Udina on a ship...
    Snip .5b Piggy back rides!; Udina on a ship...; Udina is not surprised
    Snip .5c Too much information; Not gonna sleep tonight; I am the Dawn
    Snip .5d Can't look her in the eye; Memories of a different life
    Snip .5e Boarding; Kasumi's little 'gift'; Where's that music coming from...; Oh crap moment
    Snip .5f Puppet is kicking ass; Team work time
    Snip .5g Liara, stop talking; Bullet to the knee; Geth to the rescue
    Snip .5h Kasumi's little gift reveals a secret
    Snip .5i Sooooo, this is new; Gods are interesting; Transfer Memories; Solar Hero Style
    Snip .5j Fight scene of awesome; Surrender is an option
    Snip .5k Badass boast; Social fu; Back to work
    Snip .5l Always think before you turn off the power
    Snip .5m Oh crap moment; Jane is not amused by bullshit tactics
    Snip .5n Not the time to be arguing; Efficiency of course; Now just what, but What the Hell; The List of Insanity
    Snip .5o Why Vasir is awesome; Biotic boom
    Snip .5p Why Vasir is awesome; Biotic boom; Limiter off?; Aw crap moment; Parry punches with punches; Kasumi to the rescue!
    Snip .5q Tali is paranoid; Yahg; Keeping that data safe
    Snip .5qb Tali is paranoid; Yahg; Keeping that data safe; Husk time!; Stop talking, Liara
    Snip .5r Wuffles, I don't think this is a good idea...
    Snip .5s Harbinger, stop monologuing; Heading into the eye of the storm
    Snip .5t Siddie says no
    Snip .5u Wuffles would be great on a debate team...; Armor piercing question away!
    Snip .5v Harbinger likes messing with your head; Oh shit moment, big oh shit moment
    Snip .5w Wuffles pushes all of the buttons; Been spending too much time around Shepard, have we?
    Snip .5x Gregg is trolling us again...
    Chapter Five

    Snip .6a Tali's moment of pure badassness.
    Snip .6b Wuffles has a stockpile of awesome quotes; EDI: Goddess of the Trolls
    Snip .6c Good teamwork and planning; And then it all goes to hell
    Snip .6d Aw shit moment; Joker to the rescue!; Udina has boots that vacuum-seal to the deck?; Gendo pose!Hannah; Boom, sucker
    Snip .6db Joker to the rescue!; Details; Udina has boots that vacuum-seal to the deck?
    Snip .6e Gotta get off; Tali doesn't feel good; Forgot someone?; Break reality, escape
    Snip .6f Back on ship; Medbay time; Escape ends up where?
    Snip .6g Kasumi to the rescue again; So that's where she learned how to punch sickness out of people; Break reality
    Snip .6h Seeker, die in a fire; The Reapers like trolling us; Kicked into the void
    Snip .6i Bad feeling scenery; Really bad feeling; The bigger fish is unleashed; ...Oh TIMmy, what did you do?!
    Snip .6j Tali is having a panic attack; Explanation: bullshit magic; Wuffles!
    Snip .6k Wait, you're how old?; Where are we?; Joker says what we're all thinking
    Snip .6l Ship graveyard
    Snip .6m A look into Joker's personality; Dead Reapers
    Snip .6n 173 Dead Reapers in the void; Don't want to meet this bigger fish
    Snip .6nb 173 Dead Reapers in the void; Don't want to meet this bigger fish; A single point of space; Hitching a ride; Wuffles was combing Tali's hair :sqee:; Exalted Creator
    Snip .6o Past memories; It's a long story; Persistent Righteous Protector of the Orichalcum Caste
    Snip .6ob Past memories; It's a long story; Persistent Righteous Protector of the Orichalcum Caste; Looks like a keeper
    Snip .6p SWLIHN likes messing with things
    Snip .6q Oh, Wuffles...; Surprise!
    Snip .6r Joker info; EDI found... something to fix the ship; What would you call that?
    Snip .6s ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...
    Snip .6sb ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...; A gethdinghy; Admiral Xen gets up to some odd things...
    Snip .6sc ...Floation device?; Oh, Wuffles...; A gethdinghy; Admiral Xen gets up to some odd things...; Wuffles protecting Tali; The machine is insane; You may call me Autochthon.
    Chapter Six

    Snip .7a City of Persistent Righteous Protector; Didn't that coming
    Snip .7b Lots of names for the same thing; First mention of Viator
    Snip .7c The Story of the Beginning; Vessae Milinato; Hannah wants to know what the hell is going on.
    Snip .7d Story of the War; Room of Craziness
    Snip .7db Story of the War; Room of Craziness
    Snip .7e The Story of the Beginning; Vessae Milinato; Hannah wants to know what the hell is going on; Story of the War; Room of Craziness
    Snip .7f Spider Girl? Time to drink!; Joker has interesting porn; Joker knows the squad way too well
    Snip .7g Proof that Auto is insane
    Snip .7gb Proof that Auto is insane; Poor Tali; FOR GREAT SCIENCE!
    Snip .7h The answer to Hannah's question; Liara's fangirling
    Snip .7i Oh shit moment
    Snip .7ib Oh shit moment; "Why does this always happen?"
    Snip .7k Stupid firewall; Epic fight
    Snip .7l Sidereal says oh crap; Asari catfight; Keep running
    Snip .7m Poor Tali, she'll never like pinball again; Wuffles' hips brings all the AIs/Alchemicals/Admirals to the yard
    Snip .7n Flashbacks are never good; Kasumi is broken
    Snip .7o That's... really big
    Snip .7ob Redone; Pitfall
    Snip .7p Deus and Auto have a bad habit of yanking the ground out from under you; Spread eagle once more; Meet Deus Machina
    Snip .7q Everything is a weapon, if used right
    Snip .7qb Everything is a weapon, if used right; And Shepard learns just what she's fighting
    Snip .7r Logos of Deus Machina; Liara likes to share things
    Snip .7s Jacob is happy, gosh darn it; Siddie Meltdown; Mr. Taylor just went up in my list of Nice People
    Snip .7t Shepards lost her clothes... again
    Snip .7tb Shepards lost her clothes... again; Armory!; Lady Gaga's outfit designer is so an Exalted; Artifact Armor: Jade
    Snip .7tc Shepards lost her clothes... again; Armory!; Lady Gaga's outfit designer is so an Exalted; Artifact Armor: Jade; Pria has a bone to pic with Kasumi; Armor made from guns
    Snip .7u Liara is acting like Ree; He knows all the things
    Snip .7v Hannah hits things; Auto won't stop bothering Tali; Wuffles is taking care of Tali :sqee:
    Snip .7vb Hannah hits things; Auto won't stop bothering Tali; Wuffles is taking care of Tali :sqee:; Redirect angry Tali
    Snip .7w Shepard likes her new armor; Blightborn; Fixed firewall
    Snip .7x Tali does not like spiders
    Chapter Seven

    Snip .8a ...What?
    Snip .8ab Rewrite of the what; Life cycles
    Snip .8b A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES
    Snip .8ba A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES; More details
    Snip .8bc A better coffee machine; DEUS MACHINA DOES IT WITH MACHINES; More details; To the Med-bay; Joker see all
    Snip .8c Joker on a ladder; Scale itch
    Snip .8cb Joker on a ladder; Scale itch; Oh, EDI
    Snip .8d Matron stage; Bullshit radar; One hundred and sixty three?!
    Snip .8e Bring on the peace talks
    Snip .8eb Bring on the peace talks; Auto needs decaf
    Snip .8f And the shit has hit the fan; TIMmy, you brought this on yourself
    Snip .8g Auto is... messing with the Normandy; Auto, you loveable nut
    Snip .8h Back in communications range; Auto is... unique; Report giving
    Snip .8hb Back in communications range; Auto is... unique; Report giving; Hannah, Jane, and Udina on one ship...
    Snip .8i Galactic Overseer Shinmai; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on
    Snip .8ib SWLIHN is intrigued; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on
    Snip .8ic SWLIHN is intrigued; Harbinger wants to know what the shit is going on; 9,999 Perfect spheres around Momma Sphere; Harbinger has been kicked from the server, Attempt to reconnect?
    Snip .8j Bad idea, Shepard; Details of the Universe
    Snip .8k Garrus and his band of crimefighters
    Snip .8kb Garrus and his band of crimefighters; Meet the team; I have this feeling that that thing is important...
    Snip .8l Reflections of Omega; Garrus and the; ...Ya know, Garrus was scary already. Him being Exalted is just going to be terrifying
    Snip .8lb Reflections of Omega; Garrus and the; ...Ya know, Garrus was scary already. Him being Exalted is just going to be terrifying; Lunar; Luna is pretty
    Snip .8m Lunar Garrus; Deep space a warehouse; Squad is understandably freaked out; Let the shape-shifting begin
    Chapter Eight

    Snip .9a Auto is working on something; Oooh shiney!; Sol
    Snip .9b Well, this is going to end well; Not; SWLIHN is not amused; Siblings who really hate each other; Tali has a mute for Auto
    Snip .9c TIMmy in the Demon City; TED has a mustache; Mister Sunshine
    Snip .9d Hannah's on the bridge; So is Kelly
    Snip .9e Jenny; Always prepared; Gonna punch Jane
    Snip .9f Training fight; Kasumi cheats
    Snip .9fb Training fight; Kasumi cheats; Shepard with a lisp; Perfection
    Snip .9g The correct order; Auto is working on something; Oooh shiney!; Sol; TIMmy in the Demon City; TED has a mustache; Mister Sunshine; Jenny; Always prepared; Gonna punch Jane; Hannah's on the bridge; So is Kelly; Training fight; Kasumi cheats; Shepard with a lisp; Perfection; Well, this is going to end well; Not; SWLIHN is not amused; Siblings who really hate each other; Tali has a mute for Auto
    Snip .9h Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now
    Snip .9hb Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now; Thinking all of the crazy things
    Snip .9hc Liaraball hatched; Biotic barrier; She knows all of the things now; Thinking all of the crazy things; Fixing of boots; Integrated Artifact Transmogrifier; Furry Spider Cat Girl now; Tali shall never stop screaming; Udina has seen too many things to freak out anymore
    Snip .9i You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking
    Snip .9ib You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking; Mr. Reaper is going to regret stealing SWLIHN's speech
    Snip .9ic You broke causality! This is why we never have nice things!; Auto, now would be a good time to stop talking; Mr. Reaper is going to regret stealing SWLIHN's speech; Miranda, runnnnnn!; Ooooh, good distraction, Auto!
    Snip .9j Oh, Auto...; Rael's a busybody; REEGAR!
    Snip .9k Reegars are badass; Tali can hold her booze; Kelly likes talking; Surprise guest
    Snip .9l So, there's a Reegar and Geth; That hole is useful; Oh, Wuffles, this can only end in tears
    Snip .9m Rael has spyware in Tali's suit...
    Snip .9mb Rael has spyware in Tali's suit...; Vasir can still keep Rael in line; Skyrim joke and-; Oh Auto, that was such a bad idea...
    Snip .9n Geth on the Extranet; College courses; PhD; The Extranet: Where the girl in your class is a geth
    Snip .9o Auto, you nutty little; Auto has a plan; Wuffles can still mute Auto
    Snip .9p Miranda has stopped being shocked; Feron is sneaky; Glyph; Did Feron just offer Miranda the job I think he did?
    Snip .9q Shepard did it; Undercut the fight before it begins; Explain the situation; Wuffles is hiding something
    Snip .9r Miranda has a new hat; Auto shows terrifying things

    Snip .10a Aw, crap, SWLIHN is up to something; Pretty imagery
    Snip .10b Jenny the armor maker; Another shoe drops; Valern exits stage right
    Snip .10bb Another shoe drops; Valern exits stage right; Claims accepted; Shepard's getting an advisor...
    Snip .10c Sneaking a geth to the fleet; Wait a minute...; Sneaky geth is sneaky; Well, there's a bombshell
    Snip .10d I have no idea what this means, but it fills me with dread; Chosen of Journeys
    Snip .10e Vessae did something stupid; Info on Vessae's backstory; Oh crap moment
    Snip .10f Quarian Nation; Four million; He has a name; Reegar knows when to get the hell outta the way
    Snip .10fb Quarian Nation; Four million; He has a name; Reegar knows when to get the hell outta the way; Wuffles; Shepard did it; Girlfriend; Xen is interested
    Snip .10g Well, shit; Viator
    Snip .10gb Well, shit; Viator; Viator is a stubborn blockhead; Auto, please have a plan
    Snip .10h Harbinger doesn't fight fair; Vessae is getting beat; Iri's guns are awesome
    Snip .10hb Harbinger doesn't fight fair; Vessae is getting beat; Iri's guns are awesome; Another oh crap moment; Collectors are creepy
    Snip .10i Harbinger, Vessae, and the idea of getting the hell outta there
    Snip .10j Xen is all sorts of crazy wrong; Trying to experiment; Another nerve stim joke
    Snip .10jb Xen is all sorts of crazy wrong; Trying to experiment; Another nerve stim joke; Backfire!; Auto and Xen get along so well
    Snip .10jc Backfire!; Auto and Xen get along so well
    Snip .10k Mr. Sunshine and tIM's excellent adventure; This can only end in tears
    Snip .10kb Mr. Sunshine and tIM's excellent adventure; This can only end in tears; The Crazies; Stuck with Sunshine
    Snip .10l Jarvik is awesome as a Solar
    Snip .10m It was in the beacon!; Exaltation: Kaleb
    Snip .10n Eden Prime; Reapers a reaping
    Snip .10o Wake up, Boss; We knew thee but a moment
    Snip .10ob We knew thee but a moment; Another one; Goodbye; Wake up already!
    Snip .10p Flashback; Well, crap; YES!; The boss is up!
    Snip .10q Why you should never get in the way of a shard with a purpose
    Snip .10r Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop
    Snip .10rb Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop; Success, for a given value; Uh oh
    Snip .10rc Revision; Oh, hell yes; Fighting like a bull in a china-shop; Success, for a given value; Uh oh
    Snip .10s All the markings of not good; Someone's still angry; This can only end in tears

    Snip .11a Shepard... in a dress; Oh my; Dry spell; Revenge
    Snip .11b Kaidan in a bar; Turian drunk; Fight time; Mordin is a sneaky bastard
    Snip .11c Dress shopping; Can hide stuff in there; Much bigger
    Snip .11d Hackett; It's better if you didn't ask, Admiral
    Snip .11e The plan; Hock; The Blitz in a towel; Kasumi is good
    Snip .11f You poor boy; Kasumi is gonna have fun
    Snip .11g A touching story with a bar tab; Getting all the looks; Security sucks
    Snip .11h And the universe takes a sharp turn off course; Wasn't expecting that; Aria knows when to leave
    Snip .11i Play nice for awhile; Stabby?; Steal interesting things
    Snip .11j Oh, for...; Shepard's Dress; Hidden surprise; Can fit a gun in there
    Snip .11k Open the box!; Was not what was expected; Angry mammal with teeth and claws
    Snip .11l Stealing all sorts of things today; Outta the teacup
    Snip .11m Oh, crap; Jane has some very protective instincts; Jenny...; And the plan goes bust
    Snip .11n Suit up; All hundred and everything dies
    Snip .11nb Suit up; All hundred and everything dies
    Snip .11o Patch; Calling out the hypocrite
    Snip .11ob Patch; Calling out the hypocrite; Wait; Does this mean that Jane gets the hangover too?; Pria is not a VI
    Snip .11p Aria is awesome; Jack and Aria would totally get along
    Snip .11q Jenny is a weapons geek; ...Deadpan: What?
    Snip .11r That is one awesome name pun
    Snip .11rb That is one awesome name pun; Well, that was a surprise!
    Snip .11s ...Wrex; Did he just...?
    Snip .11sb ...Wrex; Did he just...?; Don't piss off the thief
    Snip .11t Teehee; Samara's gonna have fun
    Snip .11u Fun is had; Commentary; With gusto
    Snip .11ub Fun is had; Commentary; With gusto; ooooh, Chekhov!

    Snip .12a Kelly likes the shower; Shipping ahoy!; ...How'd that get on the ship?
    Snip .12b Wuffles...; Back to the quarians; Bad idea detected!
    Snip .12c Hackett just punched a metal dinosaur in the face; I love this story
    Snip .12d EDI is talking about herself with capital letters; ...And why is she talking in plural?
    Snip .12e Garrus is having fun!
    Snip .12f Geth; Archer; Orianna
    Snip .12g Garrus really is having fun; Bad naming pun; FALCON -
    Snip .12h Second what EDI says; What the fuck?
    Snip .12i Like a hentai anime
    Snip .12ib Like a hentai anime; Enter: Badass Joker
    Snip .12j Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat
    Snip .12jb Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat; Oh, Auto, don't go reading Wikipedia. It's for your own good; A little resentment?
    Snip .12jc Auto's been messing with stuff; EDI's getting the sarcasm thing down pat; Oh, Auto, don't go reading Wikipedia. It's for your own good; A little resentment?; Heaven; Gods; What?
    Snip .12k Kicking Thrasher Maws in the Face
    Snip .12ka Kicking Thrasher Maws in the Face; Kids?
    Snip .12l It's a what?!; Udina: Unfazed by anything
    Snip .12m Oh, Joker, you have no idea
    Snip .12mb Joker got lucky; In more than one way
    Snip .12n Jenny is paranoid; Liara is not amused
    Snip .12o So, a Spectre and a Justicar walk into a bar...
    Snip .12p What happen between then and more recent then?; Krogans' have a religion?; Does it involve headbutting?
    Snip .12q Krogans are different; Nine Sages
    Snip .12r What happen between then and more recent then?; Krogans' have a religion?; Does it involve headbutting?; Krogans are different; Nine Sages; Kalros is the boss
    Snip .12s Back story of Samara
    Snip .12t Awkward family catching up
    Snip .12tb Awkward family catching up; Bonding over drinking; Back story of Samara; So a drell and a Justicar
    Snip .12u N7 training sounds interesting; Drinking stories; Miranda is not amused; She's also badass
    Snip .12v Is that...?; It is!; Bad guys talking

    Snip .13a So, some quarians and a geth go adventuring...; Auto did something; Giant robots...; Uhoh
    Snip .13b Drinking contests; Thane and Samara; Madilrada; Uhoh
    Snip .13c Liara; Hangover cure; Wrex; Liara has a very bad idea
    Snip .13d Kasumi; Climbing a skyscraper; Oh, so not a good idea; Appointment to keep
    Snip .13e Artifact collector; Kraken?; Madilrada; Interesting
    Snip .13f Kasumi; Garrus; Pria; Surprise?
    Snip .13g Adienna; Tali; Ewwww
    Snip .13gb Adienna; Tali; Ewwww; Always mute your omnitool when talking about heroic sex gods; Well, this should be interesting
    Snip .13h Oh, Liara; Wine; House plant; This is gonna be fun
    Snip .13hb Oh, Liara; Wine; House plant; This is gonna be fun; Uhoh
    Snip .13i Reegar; Wuffles; Guy talk; Bosh'tets
    Snip .13j Shepard; Catalyst; Oh shit
    Snip .13k Morinth; Liara; Don't piss off the geeky asari
    Snip .13l Shepard; Shapshifting Catalyst; Ah, crap moment
    Snip .13m Fight time!; Liara; Morinth; Bad ass boast don't mean crap
    Snip .13mb Fight time!; Liara; Morinth; Bad ass boast don't mean crap; Then again...; Liara thinks fast
    Snip .13n Reegar; Wuffles; Romantic advise from a geth?
    Snip .13nb Reegar; Wuffles; Romantic advise from a geth?; Tali did something awesome
    Snip .13o Gravity cannon; And then everything goes to an "Ah Shit" moment
    Snip .13p Shepard; Catalyst; Morinth; Liara; Make a deal; Out the wall
    Snip .13pb Shepard; Morinth; Liara; Out the wall; Epic catfight time
    Snip .13q Reegar; Wuffles; Terminal; "Do you trust us?"
    Snip .13r Tali; Auto; Calling bullshit on all that; Auto has a fighting form...
    Snip .13s Reegar; Wuffles; Did... did Kal just go superhero on the geth?
    Snip .13t Wrex; Just freaking awesomeness
    Snip .13u Thane; Samara; Shepard; Poor Samara is just wasted...
    Snip .13ub Shepard; Annoyed Exalted; Nice pun
    Snip .13v Auto; Tali; Auto finds fighting... refreshing
    Snip .13w Terminal; Reegar; Oh, this is going to be glorious

    Snip .14a Leaping Sky; Mystery woman; Catalyst...; What
    Snip .14b Jenny Shepard; Oh, the genius of a spark
    Snip .14c Reegar; Wuffles; Superhero Reegar; Prog knife!
    Snip .14d Well, that doesn't fill me with dread at all... /sarcasm
    Snip .14e Reegar; Wuffles; Forget the gun, just punch him
    Snip .14eb Reegar; Wuffles; Terminal; Auto; Tali; Forget the gun, just punch him; Dis~traction!
    Snip .14f Tali; Auto; Terminal; Auto has learned the fun of beating the crap outta of bad guys
    Snip .14g Well, shit; Reegar blasting off
    Snip .14h Reegar in the sky with enlightened geth; Enlightenment is...
    Snip .14i Memory of long ago; Bright Star
    Snip .14j More memories; Mystery woman; Auto
    Snip .14k The Circle; Mnemon Lilloss Urpa; Chosen of Journeys
    Snip .14l Oooooh yeeees!; Reegar of Journeys; Time for the fight!
    Snip .14lb Oooooh yeeees!; Reegar of Journeys; Time for the fight!; Wuffles! No killstealing!

    CODEX: Admirals and their craziness
    CODEX: Turian/Human Pop Culture Exchange
    CODEX: Apparent Human Stupidity
    CODEX: AI Psychosis and the Causes Of
    CODEX: Tali'Zorah vas Neema nar Rayya

    Omake: Quick Explanation on Luna Shape-acquiring rules in Glorious Shotgun Princess, as explained in a short Omake
    Omake??: Luna?
    OMAKE: Drunk!Shepards; Keep an eye on the boss; Shepards are assholes when drunk
    Omake?: Grunt is not to be messed with
    Omake?2: Grunt is not to be messed with; Is that Skyrim?
    Omake?3: Little bit too much fun, Garrus
    Future snip: Kaiden; Liara; Illium; The time between games; Classical dancing
    Omake: Garrus,; Ate a geth; Tali; TMI

    Snip Idea .1
    Snip Idea .2
     
  2. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    The massive room is lined with red. It looks, from first glance, like leather. But it moves, pulses in time. Golah enters as the white ribbed curtains part for her, followed by Wrex. “Excuse me, but I rarely entertain guests,” the Sage explains, “The occasional visitor, the occasional scholar. The Winds have been rather aggressive lately, and they usually devour visitors before I find them.”

    The sage rests on the walking staff, turning to the Battlemaster. “Are you thirsty? Let me get you something to drink.”

    The old krogan walks across the sinewy floor, leaning on the staff, past the foam like couches and bone white tables. Leaning the staff on the wall, the krogan grips the handles built into it and pulls. Cold air pours into the room, white light illuminating the shadows as a voice of mournful agony shakes the walls, begging for release. For oblivion.

    “Later,” Golah says, retrieving two crystal flasks, and closes the doors of the makeshift ice box.
     
  3. Cyanios

    Cyanios Advice Eldar. Super Awesome Happy Fun Time

    Well thats a lovely Freezer.
     
  4. Ah, didn't get that Golath was a she in the last snip.

    That room is actually the inside of some large, still living creature isn't it? :wtf: This like Jonah and the Whale, if Jonah had made the whale his bitch and taken the time to properly furnish the place and decorate a bit.
     
  5. Endymion

    Endymion An Operator will be with you shortly.

    There are species of houses in Malfeas, you sometimes have to remind them whose boss. This counts as maintenance. Plus if this silent wind is anything like the actual Silent Wind the groaning and moans of pain probably keeps it away.
     
  6. TheFoxsCloak

    TheFoxsCloak Professional Otaku

    Yep, like him already.
     
  7. Giygas

    Giygas Cutest Dog Mastermind.

    ... there are nine krogan sages, right?
    Because i think we just meet The Medic...
    So... every future krogan is a descendant of The Pyro or The Heavy?
     
  8. Gamerex27

    Gamerex27 Seriously, WTF.

    Holy shit you used my idea!

    Awesome!

    Also, I didn't notice Golah was a woman. Maybe she's an ancestor of Eve, or something? Just a Wild Mass Guess.
     
  9. Wragnaroq

    Wragnaroq What.

    Spy Krogan...

    How the hell would that work.
     
  10. Easy.

    He blows up an entirely different section of base he needs to sneak into. That way, everyone is running towards the fire and explosion in Left Wing, while he walks over to Right Wing and gets what he came for.
     
    CrossyCross likes this.
  11. it can shapeshift

    Unfortunately, it can only take the forms of native tuchankan lifeforms.
     
  12. Hazard

    Hazard Stop poking already

    Including the Thresher Maw.

    I see no problems whatsoever.

    Besides, what makes you think that somewhere in history there wasn't a small, poisonous scorpion analogue that had perfect active camouflage capabilities?
     
  13. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    Yep. Golah is a krogan female. Who lives in the hollowed out, still living skull of a feros equivalent of Dagon. Who is so old that not only would Even be a possible descendant, but every Krogan would be a possible descendant, assuming any of her geneline are still alive.

    That's how old Golah is.
     
  14. Wragnaroq

    Wragnaroq What.

    God dammit, Gregg, now I'm picturing a grandmotherly Krogan knitting a Krogan-sized sweater. She's sitting on a rocking chair made out of a varren.
     
  15. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    No, no. Rocking chair made from the still living brain tissue of the chthonic horror she lobotomized.

    (I accidentally put in the 'she' in the snip. I wasn't intending to reveal Golah's gender yet, but yes, Golah is a female. Uninfected with the Genophage. And Enlightened).

    Mind you, she's less Sonny and Cher and more Son Wukong. Complete with the staff.
     
  16. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    The massive room is lined with red. It looks, from first glance, like leather. But it moves, pulses in time. Golah enters as the white ribbed curtains part, followed by Wrex. “Excuse me, but I rarely entertain guests,” the Sage explains, “The occasional visitor, the occasional scholar. The Winds have been rather aggressive lately, and they usually devour visitors before I find them.”

    The sage rests on the walking staff, turning to the Battlemaster. “Are you thirsty? Let me get you something to drink.”

    The old krogan walks across the sinewy floor, leaning on the staff, past the foam like couches and bone white tables. Leaning the staff on the wall, the krogan grips the handles built into it and pulls. Cold air pours into the room, white light illuminating the shadows as a voice of mournful agony shakes the walls, begging for release. For oblivion.

    “Later,” Golah says, retrieving two crystal flasks, and closes the doors of the makeshift ice box.

    Wrex simply stares, before sitting down on one of the wrinkled couches. It contours to his shape, shifting around him to better accommodate him. Wordlessly, he takes the offered flask and takes a deep pull, finding it refreshing. And strong.

    “The occasional screams from my home keep away the Winds,” Golah explains, leaning back on one of the couches, “They fear loud noises. And, the fight that my home gave me made quite a few.” The lips part into a toothy smile. “It's also why I let it live. The occasional moan, shriek...”

    A bell tolls. Reaching next to the couch, Golah rises, taking long strides across the open room. In one hand, the Sage produces a long pick, bone white and blood stained. With a single, smooth motion, the pick is driven to the hilt into the leathery wall. The room shakes and a shriek echoes. Nodding, Golah pounds the wall three times with a the back of the hand.

    “There,” the Sage says, removing the pick, “I am trying to install a pool. Last time, it turned cystic.” Walking back with a shake of the head, the tongue clicks. “I am training my home to be obedient.”

    Collapsing back onto the couch, the Sage tents fingers in front of the face, cocking a bushy eyebrow. “Now. What can I do for you?”

    Wrex taps his fingers on the armrest of the couch. His mind struggles, whirring. Some part of him realizes that he has finally met a Krogan who is more Krogan than him.

    “Well,” he says, “Well. Yes.” He blinks, glancing from side to side. “I've never met a Krogan like you, first off.” He takes another sip of the strong liquid. “You said I was a berserker?”

    Golah nods. “Yes. Which is why it impresses me that you found me.” Hands folded, the Sage grins. “I would expect a Scholic, or messenger of some sort. Not a Berserker.”

    Wrex cocks an eyebrow. “Don't know what those are.” He leans back, smirking. “I'm the only kinda Krogan you find, really,” he rumbles, “And that gives me an idea just how old the guy in front of me is.”

    A small laugh from the sage. “And gives an idea of how much Tuchanka has changed,” Golah says, “Because you think I'm a man.” Grinning, she leans forward, popping the staff up next to her. “I hear these words from you, hanging about you like a shroud. Clan. Genophage. Rebellions.” Eyes narrow. Lips curl into a smirk. “Tell me, Wrex. It has been millennial times since I set foot on Mother Rock and communed with Mother Star. What has happened to our home?”
     
  17. Wragnaroq

    Wragnaroq What.

    Somethin' tells me that Granny Golah isn't going to like what she hears.
     
  18. Minor WMD +2

    Minor WMD +2 SelfPreservingSuicideUnit

    oh shit, Tuchunka's star is Gaia.
     
  19. Dirtnap

    Dirtnap [Witch Giblets Intensify]

    Well then. I agree with the sentiment that Granny golah is NOT gonna be pleased...enough so that she will come out of retirement. And everybody knows that when a Krogan that is more Krogan than wrex appears, shit is going down. Generally solar systems.
     
  20. Alasnuyo

    Alasnuyo I am always here

    And those uhh.. Winds. They wouldn't happen to be Adorjani elementals, would they?
     
  21. "So. what happened... depends, was your last visit before or after we nuked ourselves back to the stoneage, got uplifted by bipedal frogs on meth and then got mass-sterilized for getting uppity?"
     
    Maracroix likes this.
  22. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    "Sounds rough. Are the Insunnamon still in charge? Because they seemed like the mass sterilizing type."
     
  23. . . . that's way, way older than I thought. :eek: The Inusannon were around a good ~70k years before the Protheans.

    Also shows how spectacularly ancient the Krogans are as a species (and that they likely nuked themselves back to the stoneage more than once). Heck, Krogan 'civilization' in one form or another may well have been around for millions of years (with numerous 'resets').

    Heck, it means that Golah herself is likely hundreds of thousands of years old. :wtf:


    . . .

    the great rift of Klendagon and the dead Reaper around Mnemosyne, that are both ~37M years old... that was done by an earlier Krogan cycle, wasn't it? <_<
     
    CrossyCross, Maracroix and Durabys like this.
  24. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    No, the Great Rift was done by Persistent Righteous Protector's people, who later were mindraped and gengineered by the Reapers into becoming the Keepers. And yes, Krogans have probably bombed themselves back to the stoneage or died off back to agricultural levels several times- never underestimate the resiliency of a planet to survive tragedy and strife, nor organics to believe that they have 'killed' a planet.
     
  25. Cyanios

    Cyanios Advice Eldar. Super Awesome Happy Fun Time

    Killing a world is Hard: The best way to be sure is to shatter it into nice little pieces of Asteriods, then make sure you drop them somewhere either very hot, or very cold. Even then, you got annoyingly resilient Bacteria stuck deep into said pieces of rock, but the Problem is solved, There is no Planet anymore, thus no life on it.
     
    Maracroix and Chase92 like this.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
This thread lies dormant for more than 14 days. Restarting it causes mods to gaze in your direction.

Share This Page