Halo 4-All, aka "The Halo Thread"

Anyone else hoping those 2 new enemies are just some kind of hostile Requiem wildlife the player can run into, like the Guetas in Reach? They look kind of.... lame compared to the Covenant. At least lame for main antagonists, I'd be fine if they were just dangerous animals hoping to make a snack out of MC.

Come on, only thing you'll need to keep the Forerunner stomp in vs. debates is to simply ignore Halo 4 and rely solely on Bear's books.

But then they would all just go "But the GAYMES are highest cannon, which means that the BOOWKS are irrelevant!" And then there would be counterarguments, then the same statement again in slightly different form, followed by a counterargument, quite possibly the same as the last one, followed by the statement again followed by a counterargument, followed yet again by the above statement, which is of course followed by another counterargument (that might be a new counterargument instead of the old one), followed by arguments saying that the statement is correct, followed by yet more counterarguments that may or may not be the same as previous ones, followed by people citing gameplay as cannon, followed by people providing 'evidence' that says that that don't count or is an outlier, followed then by 'evidence' from other books that may or may not be twisted to support that gameplay is cannon and by then the entire debate will have gone off topic, people are flaming each other and the mods are handing out infraction points like candy.

That was a lot of text I just wrote there.

They're just pictures:

Not that thing, I've seen that. I'm talking about the 343 bulletin, unless that comes from it originally.

Because I am such a kind and generous person, here's the entire bulletin, copy pasted word for word, with pictures. I am really hoping that you will appreciate the 3 minutes it took me to do this:

The Halo Bulletin: 5.9.12

by bs angel 9. May 2012 21:00



Mo’ Cappin’


Last week, as I was preparing for a whirlwind trip to Los Angeles, I was told two very important things: One, it’s always sunny there, and two, it’s always sunny there. Guess what I learned, though, on my second day in that city. It’s not always sunny there. Go figure.

Thankfully my business (which was also quite pleasurable) was inside a studio, so my interaction with the precipitation was fleeting. Speaking of which, I’m reminded of another lesson I learned while in LA: When you walk into a hotel with a video camera, a lighting kit, and an armful of tripods (because your videographer doesn’t want to leave his equipment in the car overnight), the valets won’t believe you when you tell them you’re there for a Halo 4 shoot. At least, that’s the impression I got when they exchanged furtive glances and attempted to conceal their smirks. Again, go figure.

Unfortunately, as of right now that’s the extent of what I’m allowed to talk about in relation to that trip. Fret not though, because one day not so soon, you’ll hear or see more about what happened under the bright lights in that particular studio. I sense you quietly grunting in protest, which is oddly appropriate considering our next subject is everybody’s favorite bipedal vertebrate. And yes, that’s me moving on…



Meet Your Halo 4 Enemies– Part 1: Grunts

The Unggoy, a low-ranking species in the Covenant hierarchy, will be one of the enemies you face in Halo 4. If you are not yet familiar with our cannon fodder friends, below you will find a somewhat cursory introduction. And fodder for canon friends.

Grunts, as they are often referred to by humans, are bipedal vertebrates with spotty exoskeletons (some spottier than others depending on the game), appendages and movement typical of primates, and quite simple (yet often dull) eyes. We could talk about their elaborate circulatory system (also more vertebrate than arthropod in nature), but ONI’s classified all enemy autopsies and we don’t have clearance. How convenient for us.

The Grunt is not really a traditional arthropod in the 21st century Earth-native scientific understanding of the term. That being said, the Grunt’s high resemblance and similar evolutionary structure to arthropods on our planet illicit that prima facie nomenclature. However, they might be more accurately referred to as xeno-arthropod-type vertebrates with substantial (and hypothetical) genetic influences from primate-type organisms, as well as some unclassified aphotic-dwelling amphibian-type organisms.

What does this mean? Only that poor Carl Linnaeus can’t adequately classify sentient organisms originating from other planets and we shouldn’t necessarily expect him to. Until we develop perfect xenobiological classifications for rival and ultimately, very alien sentient species, humans of the 26th century, in the middle of trying to survive the Covenant War, might use ad hoc, makeshift terminology loosely based on the Earth’s own organisms—and that’s exactly what ‘arthropod’ is when it appears in the definition of the Unggoy.




As for how the Grunts of past Halo games and Halo 4 compare: Are they different species, a result of natural mutation, selective breeding, or genetic mutation within a single species? We’re not ready to show our cards here just yet. We can say that there are certain species on Earth which exhibit extraordinary differences within their kind (Great Dane vs. Pomeranian) and that there are vastly numerous species similar enough to categorically lump them together (look up Plover). And this is just on our planet, five hundred years before the events of Halo, and without the masterful technology wielded by the Covenant during its reign. So there’s plenty of room for speculation as to what those differences mean genetically, biologically, historically and even philosophically. But, answers to those questions are for another day.

That said, one of the biggest challenges to the hardcore fans of Halo’s massive and ever-expanding fictional universe (for us too) is that there is a normal, almost universal, tendency to try to force any and all contents into a carefully and intricately crafted box based on all that’s come before. These fans (again, ourselves included) are all-too comfortable with lateral and linear progression on top of foundational rules that we can track, label and say, “Yeah, that makes sense because of X and Y and Z”. But when it comes to longitudinal, exponential changes which restructure what was only perceived to be the foundation, that’s when folks tend to get nervous (again, ourselves included!).

The game is evolving. The technology we use to render the game is evolving. Decisions that made sense for 480i TVs back in 19-oatcake may need to be adjusted in 720p, and who knows what other resolutions in the future. We’re not recategorizing a species, upsetting an apple cart, or changing the canon. We’re doing what we always do. We’re layering detail, evolving the art, pushing the universe onwards and outwards. We’re making change for holistic reasons, never for change’s sake.

The bottom line, however, is that the last ten years have only been a keyhole into the enormous canyon that is the Halo Universe and there is so much more out there than we could ever fit in those boxes, as well-intended and finely-crafted as they might be. We’ve only begun to scratch the surface.

So the next time you see an enemy that looks a little different or a weapon/vehicle that doesn’t match its predecessors verbatim, or even a backstory that doesn’t appear to be the “whole story”, understand that the Halo Universe is big enough to hold all of them safely and securely together, and will do so with a smile on its face. And whenever you doubt that, just take the incredible variability you find in our contemporary world and multiply it by a thousand. Then you’ll get a hint of just how big a 26th century, galaxy-spanning Halo story is to us. We’re hoping that in the coming months and years, you’ll get to see just how big that really is.

(Spoiler: It’s really big.)
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And that's the entire thing. Well, almost, everything after that point is just uninteresting wallpaper and screenshot stuff.

Translation: Obviously, nobody gives a fuck whether you classify a grunt as an arthropod.

Just call it a pseudo-arthropod and not make a longwinded-ass post about it.

Ooooh. You meant that bulletin.

Microsoft was having a little marketing puzzle game where this image was sliced up into 32 pieces. I had 25/32 and this is what I got when I found the other pieces.

where be this game? Linkege
Edit: Thing on the right looks like a crashing Covie cruiser.

Looks like cover art to me...

I hope they dont use it. Its Pretty awesome, but its a bit busy for my taste.

Too much going on.

Well the Forward Unto Dawn is crashed. And I see the light.

How do you make the screen uncluttered, I'm dying to know how to do this for my ipad

Yes yes, we all know you have a hate-boner for Mass Effect in versus debates. Nobody cares.

Confirmed box cover.

It's called sarcasm, killjoy.

No need to be a douchebag as usual.

How did I know that someone was going complain about not liking the cover?

Because I, as your God, wills it?

Depends on what OS version you are running, but you simply drag an icon over another similar icon and it should create a folder and you just rename it. Then place similar icons in that newly created folder and repeat.

Frick, I wish I had known that sooner. THANKS!

Is there even a point to making all these updates with "oooooooh I know alll this stuff I'm not allowed to tell you". Who writes them, Brainy Smurf?

How about something actually informative, like why they cut Firefight.

For Spartan Ops. Which sounds like a fine replacement. They said this a while ago.

They're probably trying to add fluff. Don't people like fluff?

-raises hand-

Not if it's the traditional Halo style fluff. I.E something that's wrong, stupid and/or retconed the next time a new book comes out.