Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Robo Jesus, Apr 5, 2009.
I'll give it whirl
From the Wretches of Madness by deadheadwookie27
A Harry Potter/Cthulhu crossover. It's currently just one chapter, but it looks like the start of a great story. This may be a Harry the magical world simply won't be able to deal with. I imagine there will be loads of death and horror in this fic.
I'm trying to read this and yeah I'm in the first actual chapter and this bullshit sudden Harry Hermione shit is pissing me off.
Guy has a hard on for that pairing like no other.
Well now you tell me this.
yeah, both author and imperator tax do, though in different ways.
But yeah, anything Harem makes me not want to read.
... Pax Ark, not tax. I don't mind Harry Hermione, or at least not originally, nowadays it just tends to grate on me. That and it came straight from left field.
Yeah it was quite sudden in that story, but it's a harem fic, which means that leaps in logic are going to be required.
I know hence why I'm still stumbling through it. I can deal with it, my god knows I've read worse. I just would have appreciated some warning.
I meant the warning that Harry Hermione comes straight OMG I love YOU HARRY I'VE AlWAYS LOVED YOU, not that its Harry Hermione
Characters misspelled, homophone issues, first vs. third person issues, random lapses into third person omniscient POV, padded with chunks of text that either lay out the first books (as if we don't know what happened) or serve as biographies of characters (and not AU bios either; canon stuff). And the property on which 'Potter Manor' (which Tonks, for some reason, knows every last detail about) sits is bigger than my hometown, which is the 10th most populous city in the state of Connecticut, with a house the size of the nearby mall.
Nuke it from orbit.
This isn't a story, its mental masturbation.
Oh God. If you can (or just skip), get to Chapter 6. Listen to Hermione going on about 'girl sex' and 'girl virginity' and shit... it's the singularly most unarousing scene related to femmeslash I have ever read in my life.
Yeah Radaslab doesn't do sex scenes very well, but meh it's still better than nearly 90% of the stories out there. At least that one is actually readable and not instant cringe worthy.
Ummm, hate to break this to you, but it is cringe worthy.
tabi is correct
Who said anything about the sex scenes? I'm talking about the page after page of Hermione's extremely awkward monologue about all the not-lesbianism going on because girls supposedly need orgasms to have magical power and their not-lesbianism is a great alternative to the good old Mark One hand on that front. After reading that, it almost makes me want to stop writing femmeslash.
But I won't.
Because that would be letting THEM win...
While I sorta/kinda liked his Breakfast in New York, his other story started out with good idea and then just devolved into massive tomes of explication. Just reams and reams or nothing but reams of reams of words. Over 370,000 words of a story that could have been told in less than a third of that. And it wasn't really that much of a story.
I guess I'm just not buying into his style. I have no problem with HHR fics, and I don't even mind Harem fics. I just like my stories to move forward. I'll take a look, I guess, but he's yet to write a home run.
Well written, in a bloody terrifying way.
He does have a tendency to go the Charles Dickens route and take 1000 words to explain something that could have been done in 20. It's by far the biggest weakness of his writing style. He's a good writer, but he needs to learn to cut stories down and go a little easier on details rather than repeat himself over and over.
Long stories can be great so long as the move the story forward.
Most of the stories you recommend are way out in left field, but you knocked it out of the park with these. Harry is terrifying and I can only imagine what he's going to do once he's fully exposed to the magical world.
He's yet to write an actual story, as far as I can tell (though I should be fair--I got bored with the New York thing and gave it up. Did it ever actually get good?) What I've read of him falls in the pattern of: reams of exposition, a brief, token exchange of dialogue, and then more dry exposition. He seems allergic to conflict or dramatic tension.
It's some of the most boring writing in fanfiction.
I totally agree there. The author has a fun style if you want stagnant!fic Where for hundreds of thousands of words you get shopping list. Again and Again.
Though to be truthful good hp fanfic authors are getting extremely sparse, especially with the tendency of ones that have ideas to want to do those with Original Characters with Canon names, and the global Canon Character bashing.
And when Tabi is turned off by a sex scene, you know that things have horribly... horribly... wrong.