Last year, I published Last Child of Krypton on ff.net. The material I posted actually constituted the fifth draft of the story; I started working on it around the end of April of last year and actually started posting it in July. I still like it, but it has a host of problems. To correct them, I'm rewriting it from the ground up. Last Child of Krypton: Redux is its own story but is based in part on the prior version and on ideas I developed while writing it. The premise of LCOK is simple; the child of Gendo Rokubungi and Yui Ikari is part Kryptonian. The Redux version focuses less on inclusion of whiz-bang DC comics crossover material and more on the appearance of a powerful symbol of hope in an incredibly bleak world. Shinji being Superman is the only DC element this version will include; the rocket that carried his genetic material to Earth is the only thing from that world that exists in this variant of the NGE world. In effect, this is the opposite of NGE: Valkyrie; though similar in scope, the cast of characters will be much more intimate. A brief note if you've already read the first version: This final draft will deviate from the original beginning around the time of [spoiler]Asuka's arrival[/spoiler] and the changes will grow more pronounced from there. For one, I'll punch myself in the face anytime I think of including any forced A/S shipping. I'm not saying the story won't go in that direction but I'm not saying it will, either, and above all there will be some actual nuance to Asuka's character beyond "insert sympathy, receive cuddles". By making LCOK about the A/S relationship and basically resolving it halfway through, I wrote myself into a corner and had to introduce a bunch of heavy stuff to keep it going, and the merging of the universes was somewhat poorly handled. While I like the idea of [spoiler]the angels being responsible for the destruction of the Martian Manhunter's civilization,[/spoiler] for example, it detracted from the overall theme of the work. There won't be any [spoiler]Batman this time around, either. I already have a Bats-in-NGE story going.[/spoiler] My feeling is that the big names in DC are such iconic figures on their own that introducing them all or even a small number of them in a crossover like this results in a muddled story that collapses under its own weight. [spoiler]I'm also more comfortable because this story is being explicitly written, though subtly, to figure into a massive megacrossover featuring alternate-Shinjis and their allies trying to stop a particular individual from leading a host of villains on a rampage throughout the multiverse.[/spoiler] The original was also nowhere near my current standards. The battle with Sachiel in this version, for example, is longer than the entirety of several chapters of the previous draft. I'll be beefing the angel battles up, since too many of the battles in the previous version ended with some variant of "and then Shinji punched it to death". That's one of the challenges of writing Superman, unfortunately; I plan to rise to the task this time around. A note on the title: It's "Redux" not "Rebuild" because I think it sounds cool, and because there were Rebuild elements in the last draft that are being excised in this version, so it wouldn't be appropriate. I needed to thin the cast out a little bit to give some of the others room to grow, and prevent a certain key figure from becoming a fifth wheel. Table of Contents: Chapter 1: From Another World (ff.net) Chapter 2: Powers and Abilities (ff.net) Chapter 3: Up in the Sky (Full Chapter (ff.net)) (Snippet 1) (Snippet 2) (Snippet 3) (Snippet 4) Chapter 4: In His Bare Hands (Full Chapter (ff.net)) (Snippet 1) (Snippet 2) (Snippet 3) (Snippet 4) (Snippet 5) (Snippet 6) Chapter 5: One Clear Shot (Full chapter (FF.net)) (Snippet 1) (Snippet 2) Chapter 6: Pattern Recognition ((Full Chapter (ff.net))(Snippet 1) (Snippet 2) (Snippet 3) (Snippet 4) Chapter 7: The Best Defense (Full Chapter (FF.net))(Snippet 1) (Snippet 2) (Snippet 3) Chapter 8: The Problem with Robots (Snippet 1) Chapter 9: A Fish Story (ff.net) Chapter 10: Masks (ff.net) Chapter 11: And His Name was Wormwood (ff.net) Chapter 12: The Conversation (ff.net) Chapter 13: I've heard there was a secret chord, that David played, and it pleased the Lord (ff.net) Chapter 14: Today is the Time for Goodbye (ff.net) Chapter 15: When the Man Comes Around () Chapter 16: The Great Red Dragon and the Woman Clothed in the Sun (ff.net) Chapter 17: A light shines in the darkness, and the darkness comprehends it not. (ff.net) Chapter 18: Forthcoming, the title is secret; this is the grand finale. I won't be dumping the giant walls of pre-existing text here but there will be snippets in the future, listed in the table of contents with links to the specific posts. The above direct to post links are now broken, I'll get to fixing that in the next few days. Weeks. Months. At some point. I've been called in to work a lot lately.
Here's a question before I begin, how will be handling Shinji's character? Many writers of Superman make the mistake of assuming that it's Kal-el (a.k.a. Superman) putting on the mask of Clark Kent when it's actually the other way around. (Unless you're Martian Manhunter, he's the alien trying to pass as human.) So how is Shinji portrayed here, especially since he usually is shipped away to live with his teacher in most fics? Is he still the same old broken boy, was he raised on the metaphorical farm in Kansas with "downhome values," is he some all powerful super-being in his mannerisms, or is his character the most dreaded outcome of all? Also, why is it that the set-up premise is so similar to the other major Superman/Eva crossover? Are there really that few plots to make one of the main Eva cast a kyptonian? . . . Apparently there are, because I can't think of any alternate plots.
If you're referring to the Superwomen of Eva version... there really aren't any alternatives. The Superman origin story is fairly specific. I did make some changes in the sense that the rocket left Krypton later and somehow arrived on Earth earlier; it had been buried in the ice for some time when it was discovered. When I sat down to think about the impact of the Shinji we all know and love being a living god, I tried to think about where the timidity and passiveness he's known for comes from. I can't see Shinji turning into a badass (although pretending to be a badass isn't out of the question, although that's an idea for another story). I don't think that's in his personality. In canon he's avoidant and desperately craves attention without quite knowing how to get it, especially from his father. There's also a power imbalance issue, with Gendo as this distant, god-like figure. You could say that Shinji buys into the image his father projects, and has no idea what kind of a bitter, broken man he is inside. In LCOK he starts out the same, with an indifferent foster family out in the country, but gradually starts becoming different. He can do things better and faster than everybody else, he's in better physical shape; he doesn't know it, but part of the reason he's staring out the window is because he sees more of the EM spectrum than everyone else. At the same time, he's internalized this idea that he's worthless, that there's no reason for him to exist. The main difference is where the entire storyline of canon Eva is devoted to Shinji deciding whether or not he can exist and finding a reason for his own being, here a big one is dropped on his lap. Also, instead of the 'kindly couple', it's Fuyutsuki that takes an interest in him, as his mother's confidante. I feel like I wasted him in previous drafts, and he's rapidly becoming one of my favorite characters anyway. I left all of this to happen off-screen before, which was a mistake. Here the entirety of the first chapter is devoted to exploring it. I've always seen Superman as a disguise for Clark Kent and that's reflected in my interpretation here.
This depends on which version of Superman you are working with. The latest version in DCnU is quite a bit different than the moderan age version which is the one you seem to be talking about who is again very much differnt from the silver age version which is a Superman who is Kal-El that wears a Clark Kent mask. This is the also version adapated for the Reeve movies.
[spoiler]The first thing that came to mind with this line is whiny Super Shinji Prime punching reality[/spoiler]
Not to sound weird, man, since it's your story, but that idea of Asuka being Wonder Woman.... it WAS nice, as an idea, a twist (how many other fics give Kyoko a 'dying' moment of awesome BEFORE she becomes part of the Eva? Not many, lemme tell you that) and whatnot. I really hoped you could keep it in this 'verse (if nothing else), because... well, actually 'just because'. There's longer explanations I could give, about how Asuka shouldn't be a 'Lois Lane' (effective, but still needing on Supes to save her from all the metahuman crazies almost to the point that she embodies Damsel in Distress no matter what) and whatnot... but, yeah, I liked that idea and I hoped that you would keep it, just because.
Frankly, changing Asuka's backstory was a mistake, because it wasn't planned. It was a way to keep the story going and give everyone something to do to get the pieces in place for the finale. I had the wiggle room to pull it off without making it too ridiculous, but I danced around the obvious plot point with her and never really explored it. She would not take too well to some guy who doesn't even have an Eva stealing her thunder and "saving" her. If anything it should have driven her even more nuts.
Just read the 2nd chapter the other day, and i gotta say it was pretty awesome! I guess that Shinji's part Kryptonian DNA must make him incompatible with the EVA's then? Perhaps the Kryptonians were children of Adam instead of Lilith? That would explain the superpowers at least.
Well, that's certainly a positive answer to all my questions. Though it does remind me of something else, what about Gendo? The obvious choice would be to make him a Lex Luthor expy, but all things considered his closest match up in the DCU would be Mr. Freeze, a Batman villain. So, is he a villain at all in this, simply a broken man simply far too old for his age, or a unlikely hero?
Rather than turn him into an expy or make him reminiscent of another character, I'm working towards logical extensions of his canon character based on the changes in story. [spoiler]It's blink and you miss it, but it's explicitly mentioned in Chapter 2 that he's not wearing gloves, and therefore didn't bother pulling her out of the plug during the berserk incident.[/spoiler] In the previous version I sort of pushed him aside in the latter half of the story and I regret doing that, so the conflict between Gendo and Shinji will largely define the story and won't be resolved until the conclusion.
Like you said, you managed to pull it off the first time because you had the wiggle room (and me.... well, it sure didn't looked too unplanned to me. But I am just the crappy rookie writer here). Maybe with some additional pacing and going into exploring it deeper and so on, it would come out... well, 'smoother' would be the closest term for it (that I can think of, and in your POV)... this time. Maybe the first few times she goes out as WW and she meets Supes... well, like you said, it drives her even more nuts. It's a Slap-Slap-Kiss relationship that makes the city tremble. After a while and some more frags on her belt and getting to know each other better, she's more fine with Shinji as a superhero (that he cannot pilot... she's fine with him as a guy she has to deal with on a daily basis before that. Maybe even discovering that he's Supes drives things to Square One for a short while). (Well, this is me thinking ideas. As usual of anything I write, take them and modify them as you wish, or leave them).
Gendo is a person who works by controlling everything, by having everyone around him under his thumb and under control, and something comes along that he has absolutely no control over, that threatens his scenario. The extra-canonical material suggests it's an open question whether he became involved with Yui for her sake or because she represented a path to power, although it's clear that his motivation at the end was to reunite with her above all else. In this timeline, his inability to solve the mystery of the indestructible alien artifact drove something of a wedge between them, followed by a sort of petulant resentment as she began focusing her attentions on Shinji. At the end of the day, Gendo is a supervillain with a secret underground base and an army of supervillains and a world-ending superweapon under his control. In canon Eva, there's no one to stop him except another group of supervillains who are basically doing the same thing. Empowering Shinji in this way balances the scales; it's part of the reason I specifically avoided having him pilot an Eva, other than not wanting to write a story where the Eva plot goes on mostly unchanged with superhero shenanigans as a side story. On a thematic level, every character in Eva is a different flavor of depression, and super-Shinji is a symbol of hope. The conflict isn't in beating the angels (although I plan to make them more difficult and dangerous) so much as how certain things will fall apart even as he tries to hold everything together. Except it was lazy writing on my part, since I used it as an off-switch on her depression. It was cheating, especially since I'd already cheated by [spoiler]writing her as accepting him after he reveals his secret identity when it should have enraged her.[/spoiler]
I was going to debate you on this, but now I'm honestly curious. Just what in Evangelion canon makes you think that Gendo's a control freak? I've seen this come up countless times in fanfic, but after watching the series I haven't found any evidence for it. So what is it?
Well, I will admit that I am not in any way as good of a writer as you are, but I didn't think that it was cheating. And like I said before, with some additional set-up time and whatnot, and her going through the bad things while already set as WW (read: discovering he's Supes, the Mind Rape), it may run better (if you think it would run better), or may not. It certainly would give way to a more interesting discovery moment, where she's so pissed that she really would have gone and killed Superman in the ensuing rampage.... and since Shinji likes her, he has to hold back a lot. Or something like that. Like I said, my ideas are take-ot-leave stuff. I am just tossing them, dumb man that I am. As for Gendo being a control freak.... I guess it's simple Fanon from the whole bundle of times that he (and the Old Men) go on about something being in 'the Scenario' or NOT being in 'the Scenario'.
He has a specific goal and a specific set of events in mind to reach that goal, and it's obvious that he has little tolerance for any sort of deviation from that. He's very single minded, ignoring beautiful women throwing themselves at him, his own son's distress, and the suffering of those around him. Everyone eventually falls in line under him and backs down under the force of his personality, except Kaji and to a smaller degree Fuyutsuki and Misato. To me, he also sounds perpetually frustrated whenever something doesn't go his way, particularly if it's something minor (Maya's initial refusal to activate the dummy plug, for example) and sounds like he's gloating whenever something does. On the other side of the coin, he gets too much credit as a mastermind. Most of the people that are swept along in his machinations really have no alternative, it's fight the angels or die. Their neuroses make them vulnerable to him; emotionally stable people wouldn't be so readily manipulated. Still, he stares Shinji down in the first epsiode until he relents and pilots, he stares Maya down until she activates the dummy plug. The only time Shinji ever successfully confronts him, he's demanding to do what Gendo needs anyway.
But if he was a control freak wouldn't he have raised Shinji a key part of his scenario close at hand and dependent on him or made sure if that was what he was doing it was working? In addition i don't get how Gendo doesn't know about Shinji at all if he is as you say a control freak since the pilot of his ace would be a primary point of surveillance and the fire itself was blatently superhuman enough that is should have gotten back lest fuyutski has gotten really really good at doing the run around on him. Not to mention I don't understand why he wouldn't check the lab work himself if he is a control freak in case fuyutski is doing the run around on him when he knows there is bad blood. you don't need to be a control freak to be goal oriented and a deviation from the scenario in large likely mean the entirety of his sin against humanity for yui are pointless or the death of humanity. Furthermore in the case of the dummy plug Shinji likely would have died along with the pilot of the highjacked eva before someone else could get out there and kill which likely mean goodbye humanity of goodbye gendo hello seelee which also means goodbye humanity with no benefit that he has sacrificed an obscene amount of things for. Also why didn't Yui consider her sons altered gene couldn't fuck over his piloting? I was always under the impression that the scenario came the form dead Sea scrolls them selves which was essentially prophecy and the way for the to ride the Angels out and comeup in paradise of unity. In the original meeting his son was refusing to pilot the giant robot need to stop the rampaging monster when it was obvious that he was need to fight the robot otherwise one of the adults would be doing it.
She went to Fuyutsuki directly and never told him about the incident with the rocket opening up. As far as he knows, it's just been sitting in Nerv's basement and no one will ever figure it out. I'm pretty sure he was never intended to be the actual pilot, it just worked out that way. Remeber that when he has Rei rolled out he tells her the spare is useless. He's needed because she's too banged up to actually pilot and they haven't tested her in Unit One yet. As I remember, the cross-synchonization test where they're both going on about how they can smell the other is the first time Rei actually synchs with Unit One. Shinji is always a weak spot, but Gendo isn't perfect either. His emotional problems are part of the reason for the estrangement, although I'm sure he could justify it as a means of manipulating him. In the series, Shinji's need for his approval does prove useful and he does, in a half-hearted way, respond to it a few times before the descent arc kicks in. It's possible Gendo is just really lucky and doesn't plan much of anything, or orchestrates everything down to the most minor details. You can't really objectively prove it one way or another. Did he just happen to run into Rei before the Ramiel battle, leading up to her smiling at him in front of Shinji, or did he plan that to get under his skin and manipulate him?
Hmm, that's one way to look at things, but how I look at Gendo mostly comes from his ending soliloquy in EoE because it's there, with no-one but himself and the audience around, that he finally reveals his motivation for everything he did. He is terrified, most of all of his own son. To him sending Shinji away was an act of love, since by his logic keeping Shinji with him would just hurt the boy. (There are other motivational points here I'd like make, but it's probably easier to just suggest you watch the scene yourself.) On top of that, if we take the metaphor that Third Impact takes the form of a person's greatest desire then we're left with three possibilities for Gendo. Either he wants Shinji to brutally murder him, he wants Yui to brutally, or he wants Unit-01 to eat him like it did the rest of his family. No matter how you slice it that's a pretty screwed up ultimate desire for someone to have.
I think "that's a pretty screwed up ultimate desire" describes everyone on the entire show. Except Pen-Pen.
One Kozo Fuyutsuki’s many roles at Nerv was to stand two steps behind and to the right of the Commander when he performed his duties, ready to sweep in and take command if necessary. In other words, he occupied a mostly ceremonial post designed to keep him where they could see him, since he had both the knowledge of their conspiracy and the knowledge of the means by which they executed it to be a threat. It was either cooperate or die, murder the world or die knowing it would happen anyway. He cursed himself for taking the easier path, or at least he used to. He smiled inwardly, but kept his face a frozen mask, an actor as capable as his seated protégé and drawing on decades of experience. The margin by which the world of secret societies was more tedious than the world of academic politics was a razor thin one. He had a difficult time maintaining his composure today. There was a certain surreal absurdity to his very situation, standing beside the leader of a secret paramilitary organization in a secret underground base, using a holographic display to communicate with a group of men who hide themselves behind featureless monoliths like something out of a science fiction movie. He had the identify of one of them nailed down, if only because the man routinely disregarded the secrecy the others favored and revealed his face. His name was Keel, he was a German with three doctorates, and he was dressing down Gendo at this very moment. Fuyutsuki didn’t know who to root for. “This situation is untenable, Ikari.” “I agree. The Second should be transferred to my command immediately.” If he could see them, Fuyutsuki had no doubt the members of the Human Instrumentality committee would be rocking back in their seats at Gendo’s brazenness. He made no movement, still sitting with his folded hands obscuring his face in his curious way, staring pointedly at nothing. Fuyutsuki straightened himself and waited. “Unit Two is not ready to move, and will not be leaving Berlin for another month.” “I am aware of that. I meant the Second Child, not the Evangelion.” “You believe she will be able to pilot Unit One?” “It is better than nothing. Attempting to use the First again will kill her, and an untrained pilot…” With a voice so thick with sarcasm Fuyutsuki could practically hear his sneer, another member cut him off. “As I recall, your candidate had no prior training.” Gendo remained unruffled. “His situation was unique. You all know what the Scenario calls for. A candidate who both meets the requirement and is trainable is rare at best. The Second Child’s unique circumstances alone permitted her training.” “True,” said Keel. “Very well. The defeat of the angels is our top priority, of course. The arrangements will be made, and the Second will be transferred ahead of schedule, by air. I leave the arrangement of the flight details to your staff.” Gendo said nothing, and the tense contest of who would be the one to break the silence began. It lasted only a few, brief moments. “There is another matter,” said Keel. Gendo tensed. “Which is?” Another Committee member cut in, a different one, with a deep voice. “There have been disturbing reports of an… anomaly. We have word that it was not, in fact, Unit One that destroyed the Third Angel.” Gendo remained silent for a moment, and Fuyutsuki let his gaze drift to him as he wondered how he planned to play this. The game of silence began again, and it was Gendo’s turn to make the first move this time. “There was outside interference during the battle. An interloper of unknown capabilities attacked the angel and did superficial damage to Unit One.” “An interloper? Damaged Unit One?” “We believe he was engaging in a misguided attempt to rescue the pilot.” “Were you attempting to conceal this information from us?” “I did not think it significant.” There was a low rasping sound, probably Keel snorting into his microphone. “That is not your decision. You will ensure that the Committee is fully briefed on any further encounters with this interloper.” Gendo smirked. “Rest assured, if there is a threat to the Scenario, I will eliminate it.” The monoliths winked out, one by one, until only Keel’s remained. “See that you do, or we may see you as a threat and take action of our own.” Keel’s monolith vanished, and the system deactivated, the featureless black expanse replaced by a surprisingly small room with gray walls, studded with holographic emitters. The only piece of furniture was a desk that was virtually identical to the one in Gendo’s office, which struck Fuyutsuki as a little silly. He presume that Gendo appeared to the others as a monolith of his own, his theatrics unseen, but then, you never knew, which was sort of the point. It was entirely likely that Keel saw them all undisguised, and maybe others as well. Gendo leaned back in his chair and took on a sort of rebellious slouch, pausing to consider the surface of his desk. “At least they didn’t pester us over the budget,” said Fuyutsuki. “Indeed,” said Gendo. “Nevertheless, it was too easy. Keel is up to something. See that the arrangements are made for the Second’s transfer.” “Of course,” said Fuyutsuki. “Where should I billet her?” “There is available space either in the barracks or on the surface. Until the First is ready to pilot again and Unit Zero can be reactivated, her security is a priority. Keep her where she will be most secure.” Fuyutsuki nodded and walked out of the room, conscious of Gendo’s desire that no one see him leave a room. He stepped outside, ensured the hallway outside the holographic conference room was clear, and headed towards his office, thinking of how best to ensure the Second Child’s safety and security while she lived in Tokyo-3. Some would have, perhaps, doubted the idea that next crossed his mind. Then again, they would have lacked vital information he possessed. Once he was out of the elevator, he made his way to his office, sat down in his creaky old chair, and cradled the handset of his old fashioned telephone between his chin and his shoulder while he fished around for the card bearing Misato Katsuragi’s office number.
