Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Samarkand, Jun 2, 2012.
Well... perhaps with Ponies, Sparks are extremely focused in a specific direction.
I guess I missed the Apple-Cobbler monster fighting a Knitwear-Clank while a giant balloon rains confetti and confections upon a massive flying rabbit with steam-breath from afar. They're pretty focused yes, but either they're not breaking through (unlikely due to their general age and mastery of the subject) or they're just really good at what they do. Focused in a specific direction yes, but them being sparks doesn't seem to match the situations.
Have to agree with Sliver here. They are spark-like, but not sparks.
And is that a Sister of Battle Sliver? Always have had mixed feelings about them.
Sort of, it's a picture that I got from mdkcde based on a snippet I wrote. It's a Sister of Battle, but not one that's 'normal.'
It's a long story. Especially since it hasn't been indexed yet so finding it is a pain in the ass.
Hmm. Most Sisters of Battle I find in canon fiction are a bit....
How do I say?
Fanatical to a extreme. Even for 40K they are nuts.
Anyways, off topic.
While Ponies in Ponyville might not be sparks and instead are just spark-like, a few of them are very close to being Sparks I would think. Twilight, Rarity, and a few others are all very close to being Sparks. They are just lacking that vital part that makes it so. Twilight because her brain is apparently hardwired into overloading if something totally breaks the laws of everything.
I would love to see Agatha's reaction to a Twilight Sparkle REAG scene. The whole bleached coat, red eyes, and mane and tail made of fire would be interesting from our Sparky overlords point of view.
I think Pinkie Pie might actually be the closest; she IS the inventor of the group, albeit highly specialized inventions. That party wagon thing, her party cannon and party bazooka, her flying machine...
Yeah, but that's sort of the fun. They may be crazy, but it works for them and they can be fun to write. Especially if it's only temporary.
Sandy Mitchell showed me that one. Anyway, definitely off-topic.
I have a feeling that Agatha is going to learn to bake after the first time that happens. Remember, extra butter, less nutmeg.
Yeah they can be fun to write... I remember the Sororitas Soryu, Sororitas Ayanami, and the Sororitas Shinji...
Wait, you came up with them?
Also, seconding Alex12's concern over Twilight and her thoughts over the Want It Need It spell.
Nope. taalismn did.
I only came up with the idea before this that Shinji becomes the most desirable man in the Multiverse.
Oh thank go-
I would find it a lot more odd if canon didn't show Twilight abusing it to town-leveling degrees to avoid being tardy and not even being scolded for it afterward.
Given that Celestia has "Twilight Sparkle discovers mating" on her list of possible apocalypses, she probably already suspected. And is mildly terrified but wants to handle Twilight with kid gloves to avoid setting her off as long as she isn't actually hurting anyone at the moment.
In my head, pre-series Twilight Sparkle is basically an evil sorceress in the making (reclusive, arrogant, bosses around a comedy relief dragon side-kick, lives in a tower with a giant creepy hourglass, actively disdains friendship) and being sent to Ponyville is part of a reform effort designed to head off trouble down the road, besides being important for the whole Nightmare Moon thing.
This deserves more discussion.
This is true. It's still worrying, though.
This will end well /sarcasm.
I think it's less "actively disdains friendship" and more "doesn't see the point of friendship" but otherwise, yeah, that makes sense.
Point me at the relevant thread (probably not this one) and I'll drop it in. I'm just saying, a few years down the road and she would have been racing heroes for artifacts of power (funny how that worked out...) and casting spells of 100 years sleep on the noisy party her neighbors were having.
Although it does occur to me that "evil sorceress" and "dangerous mad scientist" share enough in common that Agatha may have already realized this (she was noting warning signs earlier with the "had to be ordered by the land's sovereign to make friends" bit).
How bout we take it to PM for a bit? We could even hammer out a basic idea and put it upon the brainstorming thread for adoption. I do that alot, and a few have made it to being written by others. Just open up with a message to me and we can bounce a bit.
The Mane 6 aren't Sparky, beyond Twilight's magical prowess and Pinkie's informed tinkering ability. Which, btw, is not how in this fic she gets all her weird devices. The insanity we see in the Mane Cast are mental breakdowns: Twilight's frantic need not to be tardy with her friendship report, Pinkie's assumption that her friends hate her and her parties, RD's panic attack before the Young Fliers Competition, etc. It actually takes a lot for "YOU WILL ALL LOVE ME!" to manifest.
Sparks? They slip into the Madness Place easily. With sufficient control, they can use it as part of a performance (Gil) or go from furious ranting to "cross me and die, let's get on with it". Unlike ponies, they thrive in Sparky madness (until they go too far and the experiment goes awry). Sparks in many ways are more adept at dealing with mental instabilities than the Mane Cast and their "Limit Breaks".
Note that Agatha Heterodyne--who started as a despised, self-loathing young woman--has after about three months of socialization exhibited a far more healthy social life than Twilight after two years. And that's factoring in Agatha's capability of going into thermonuclear genocide mode when sufficiently provoked.
Meh. Her foalsitter was Princess Cadence, who was tossing around love spells while taking Twilight for a walk. Where do you think Twilight picked up the spell from? I'm sure Celestia is plenty familiar with Cadence's little habit there.
The locomotive's whistle blew as it pulled out of Canterlot Station. Twilight closed the door of the private cabin she had taken for the trip to Ponyville. It was a luxury that usually she would only have used for a long overnight trip. She wanted the privacy, though. And, of course, it was the Princess' bits that was paying for it. All on official business, of course.
Twilight spread out the reports Spike had sent to the Princess after she had asked where he had heard about the Tea Cozy Technique. Huh. Well, it couldn't be a changeling missed by Shining Armor and Cadence's banishment spell. As Twilight knew all too well, changelings were scarily-good mimics. Clumsy, obvious foreign accent, stories about heroes who weren't part of Germane folklore: not what a spy would do to fit in. She hadn't had the smoothest approach if this "mare" were trying to sneak out information on transdimensional harmonics and aetheric manifold transforms.
What the hay? Twilight re-read that. That was advanced. Extremely advanced. It was at the gleaming tip of unicorn magical theory. Actually, it was the subject of a dissertation Twilight had been plugging away at for years, and she really really had to meet this mare. Darn it, no! Focus! This was a huge clue! Maybe not a spy. Maybe it was a refugee from somewhere else--inside, Little Twilight was backflipping in glee at the idea--who had cast a transformative spell to appear like a pony. Or it might be a glamour.
She couldn't assume this mare-whatever was a threat. She might need their help, instead. That changed everything. Should she tell the other girls? It was a huge secret. This mare might be ashamed of the situation. Twilight steepled her hooves. No. This needed finesses. This needed delicacy. This needed a light diplomatic touch.
Her cabin door slid open.
"The last cream-cheese-icing-and-hot-sauce cupcake," said Pinkie Pie, still dealing with cake overload, "was my doom-- Ooo! Someone new in Ponyville! Let me get my party cannon! Woo hoo!"
This was doomed before it started, wasn't it?
"Lodging won't be a problem," the Mayor said. "We're always glad when somepony wants to settle here. For a day or for life, it doesn't matter."
"Again, I have no money," Agatha said. "I don't even have a job."
"We have a few tents the town uses," Mayor Mare said, "for festivals. I'll have one of our smaller ones set up in the park."
The tan-coated older pony turned to talk with a functionary while Agatha finished nailing her notice for piano lessons--"piano must be supplied"--on a public notice board at Ponyville's rathaus. The town hall was impressive for a small community: a three-storey tower with the air of an estate's garden gazebo. It was of a piece with the whimsy of this world. Sitting down on the circular balcony, Agatha munched a golden delicious from Sweet Apple Acres as she watched the ponies at their business.
She could live here.
It was a terrible thought. It was a betrayal of everyone at home. She wouldn't stop searching until she were sure--absolutely sure--there was no way back. But she could live here and be happy. No great destiny, no enraged tyrants seeking her death. A house of her own, a small dungeon dug underneath for experimental purposes. She would have to control her Spark very, very carefully. If tranquility was so prevalent, then the ruling princesses must have considerable powers to ensure there was no threat. Although Agatha hoped they wouldn't mind some free civic improvements. Applejack had warned her about the Everfree Forest south of town. Honestly, not even any defensive walls?
Her ears perked at the sound of a steam engine. Tossing the apple core into a public rubbish basket--er, make at missing, then picking it up with her mouth to drop it in--Agatha trotted over to the train depot. The afternoon train had pulled into the town's neat little station. The train with its 4-4-0 locomotive and its toy-like carriages weren't the armor-plated affairs run by the Corbetite Monks of Europa. Imagine--not even any machine-guns! Passengers were often asked to man weapons stations if a guard-monk on a Europan train was injured at their duty.
Oh, so it did have a cannon. Agatha saw a primitive muzzle loader being wheeled out out and pointed right at her.
Two months of hell-on-Earth training and two days in Castle Heterodyne had honed her combat instincts to a fine edge. Agatha blurred past the shot which--glittered?--as it missed her. There was a surprised "oof" when a back hoof rammed the gunner in the flank. A swipe with her right hoof sent the attacker right across the station platform. Her left was already raised in a blow that could cripple or kill when-- A party favour blew in her face. Agatha looked down into the terrified blue eyes of a mare whose pink coat could not be found in any natural colour wheel. A bouncy pink mane deflated with an audible hiss to become almost flat.
"Surprise!" the pink mare squeaked as if she has inhaled an airship's gas cell's worth of helium. "Welcome to Ponyville."
The mare twirled a rattler and grinned nervously.
"Please don't kill me?"
Yessssssssss ... so was Rainbow Dash watching? Is she changing in even now to save the Party Pony? Things could get a little hectic in the next few moments.
More to the point--has Gilda been watching Agatha while she was in Ponyville, from a higher cloud so she can use her eagle's sight? Add in RD's tendency to taunt during a fight, Twilight trying to defuse the situation, and an increasingly angry and on the edge Agatha who only forty-eight hours ago was on constant General Quarters because of being in an insane castle-deathtrap--
What was Pinkie Pie doing on that train leaving Canterlot? .... Wait. Better question: Why am I bothering to ask? We're dealing with PINKIE PIE here. She probably took the train to Canterlot then took the one back to Ponyville with Twilight just so she'd be able to burst in and see the info about the new pony in Ponyville. Eeyup. Just your typical Pinkie Pie Fourth Wall smashing. I wasn't expecting Pinkie Pie to roll out the Party Cannon outside, though. I thought she only used it to rapidly decorate a venue, with the Changeling invasion the only time she actually aimed it at a living being.
I approve of Pinkie getting the tables turned. Oh, great ragin' Gork 'n Mork do I ever.
I find her abrasive, and getting a reminder that not everyone has their throttle welded to "HIGH" will do her some good.
I did mention in the earlier chapter that Pinkie had been recovering from a cupcake eating contest--and lost--with Luna at the post-wedding festivities. Her ending up on the same train as Celestia is a combination of Pinkie's toonish tendencies and the ironclad guarantee that chaos happens everywhere Agatha goes.
In all fairness, Pinkie was actually going for an airburst of streamers and glitter over Agatha's head. Agatha simply didn't give her time, and the Party Cannon fired off by accident right where she'd have been.
I'm impressed Agatha has already adapted Zeetha's combat training to equine anatomy.
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