Mass Effect: Glorious Shotgun Princess (ME/Exalted)

Oh. Please tell. Now I am really interested.

One April fools day, White Wolf released a pdf that claimed to be an excerpt from an upcoming book, "The Scroll of Swallowed Darkness," a sourcebook all about sex. This is from that.

Thought of the day- a sufficiently prepared person in Malfeas, armed with weapons that can dampen sound (think kinetic barriers tuned to block sound waves) could target Adjoran on enemies in a fashion similar to a laser targeting system.

Oh boy. Who of you think that GreggHL will make TIM or somebody else from the ME-verse learn to abuse this horribly?

EDIT

Until Adorjan figures out what is going on.

Then decides that since you are going through so much trouble to attract her attention, you must like her. So she returns the favour.

-------------
Epsilon

Did you just weaponize love?

So, you're comparing Adorjan to a Kitty chasing a laser pointer.

Ironic, considering she has a charm that lets her play fetch with behemoths.

THIS! IS! SPACEBATTLES!

We can weaponize everything!

Didn't they actually released it in pdf form?

Quickly, aim it at Voldemort! Oh, wrong universe (plus voldemort on the exalted setting is the kind of F-ranker the exalted deal on the warming up for their first adventures)

The excerpt is all that has ever come of it, AFAIK. (Other than fanwork)

Damn straight we can!

Considering that the cosmic embodiment of love in Exalted is Adorjan, and she has -very- specific and easy to produce targeting effects, weaponizing love in Exalted isn't hard.

Step 1:
GIGGLE MURDER ZOOM ZOOM
Step 2:
SILENT WIND OH GODS EVERYTHING DIES
Step 3:
Adorjan loved you, that's why she killed you.
Go to Step 1

...I actually did that once. Only the "weapon" was a group of Scourge's. The target was Octavian and Ligier's forge.

She Who Lives in Her Name, Malfeas and Cecelyne were not amused, but couldn't do anything, as the one's who did the act were killed "resisting capture".

I was rewarded for excellent service.

Make sure to test it on Gem first; that way you're not risking anyone irreplaceable.

The problem is pulling it off without getting oneself in the area of effect (and therefore becoming Adjoran's new Best Special Friend).

Malfeas: NOW TO SHOW OFF MY LATEST DANCE! IT IS, AS ALWAYS, PERFECT. WAIT... WHY IS IT SO QUIET?
Andorjan: Hiya Malfeas! *Huggles*
Malfeas: OH... THAT'S WHY. HELLO, ANDORJAN.
Andorjan: Heya! I heard you were showing off a new dance! Is it cool? I wanna see!
Malfeas: OF COURSE IT IS COOL! IT IS THE COOLEST THING EVER, AS I AM COOL! YOU ARE WELCOME TO WATCH AS I... YOU KILLED MY AUDIENCE, DIDN'T YOU?
Andorjan: I showed them love!

And that's why the best audience for the king of all the cosmos consists solely of his brothers and sisters attending with their jouten, because a.) Adorjan fangirling over Malfeas kills everyone else, b.) Malfeas himself busting a move sets everyone else on fire - radioactive green hellfire that melts them like goo while it burns them and c.) because then they can totally join Big M and have a crazy primordial dance party, which is the best party ever - even better than what Venus does with her Bluesids when she thinks nobody is watching - without the fear of some insubordinate subsoul of the Ebon Dragon going MWA HA THEY DANCE, THEY DANCE.

But mostly because a nonPrimordial audience tends to horribly die.

And that is why they created the Games of Divinity.

So they could have as much fun as possible without having to worry about putting their toys back together when they were done.

Except Autochthon's toys, but hey, nobody minds if his toys get destroyed again, right? I mean, what's the cripple going to do, shake his noodly twisted arms at them in anger?

And then he built Amigara Fault so that everybody could have noodly twisted arms.

Love has already been weaponized. Remember the final boss of MOTHER?

Fixed that for you.

Playboy for epic heroes?

"How to have fun in bed with a Titan-Creator-of-the-World for dummies"

I looked it up. I can't even read it with a straight face.