This is a continuation of this thread. http://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/mass-effect-human-revolution.229001/ Which is about this story: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7920322/1/Mass-Effect-Human-Revolution Which also has a Tvtropes page: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/MassEffectHumanRevolution
New thread! So, what do you guys think are the odds of Caim being some sort of Illuminati project, or something of the like?
While facing off against Caim from Drakenguard. Not too worried, considering in one of the endings, he was brought down by a few sidewinder/AMRAAM missiles. Jensen just needs a really big gun.
I'd like to point out that while my shout outs are numerous, they pale in comparison to the ones Charles has that has been peppered across Shinji and Warhammer 40k: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/ShoutOut/ShinjiAndWarhammer40K Besides warhammer, he's got: Gurren Lagann Star Wars Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy Planescape Torment Monty Python and the Holy Grail Stargate Fallout Gundam Firefly Harry Potter Halo Terminator Girl Genius Batman Naruto ...and even Tvtropes itself. And don't even get me started on the one offs.
You're being held to a much higher standard for a reason. No offense to Charles, but this is a lot better written and much more believable. I check Spacebattles mostly for this work and for EarthScorpion's, don't sell yourself short
To be fair, and with no offence ment, the absurd number of shoutouts is one of the reasons that I stopped reading Shinji and Warhammer 40k. Honestly, I'd sort of wish that you would tone down the number of 'em. You write a great story without 'em.
Rather than running away, give Jensen the decision to fight Caim or not. There doesn't initially seem to be any direct repurcussions from running away or staying to fight, but then civilian casualties start piling up. Maybe running away with Manah will make Caim angry and start focusing on random civilians in the Shanty Town? Staying to fight might ruin Jensen's shiny new armor. Still, this has the inherent flaw of being a BioWare decision that only affects certain things...
I'll join in with the others: the overabundance of random references was one of the things I liked least about that fic, and it was what finally made me quit Nobody Dies too. You've done a much better job of actually integrating them into one solid universe, which is nice. But we're toeing the line here. The second we reach the point where I feel like I would need to have consumed the right cultural media to enjoy something going on in the fic, it'll become a problem.
Smuggler is a Deus Ex character with the exact same profession and voice actor as Drebin. That's all. One of the megacorps from Metal Gear is mentioned, but is there any real difference between the Illuminati and the La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo?
Basically, it's the names. Before I remembered Parasite Eve, I thought Aya was just an interesting OC. That's why most of Ignus' references work, you don't actually need to have have seen the original media. If you catch the reference, it's awesome. If not, it's just a cool name to something in-universe. Even the named characters that are pulled straight from other media work this way. I don't know who Caim is, but he seems crazy and strong. He's going to make a good antagonist whether I know what game he's from or not. So long as people are familiar with Deus Ex and Mass Effect, this story remains wonderfully coherent. (heck, I didn't know what Wanzers were, but was easily able to pick up that they're mechs and stopped giving it too much thought).
There's just too much wink wink nudge nudge. A good reference means that a reader with no experience with the referenced material will not notice anything happening. It would be as if a name was plucked out of a hat for the story rather than anything else. A bad reference leaves the reader feeling like they missed something, and that's somewhat common in this story. There haven't been too much of the worst kind, where the reference actually pulls you out of the tale, but there have been a few. Easter egg hunting can be fun. Right now I feel like it's at the expensive of the story and has somewhat been so for a while. You're a damn good writer and very enjoyable to read, but the constant references are really harming the overall story.
I dunno. Its fine with me and when I read I don't catch many of the references and when I do it usually after I'm done reading. I'm good with the way things are proceeding with the story.
So it's true. Aliens killed his family, turning him from a sweet, if shy, kid into RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR! . . . With lots of fire for good measure. Much as 2 was a travesty, I wonder if he'll get a touching send off when it's his time to go. Is it over, Caim? It's over now. We're finally together.
Wink wink nudge nudge? From who? From me or from the folks that call attention to the references? As Tiki pointed out, I think I've done a pretty good job of not turning the shout outs and crossovers into required reading by putting out enough information about them and their place in the fic's universe, and I haven't slapped a sign on them by having a character go: "HEY GUYS I'M TOTALLY QUOTING FIREFLY!"... Or at least, I can't think of once instance of that happening off the top of my head.
The references work fine for me. They only get bothersome when I half remember where they came from and have to find it my self. And that is more of a personal issue then a writing issue. Please keep up the fine work you have been doing IgnusDei.
Delurking to comment on the whole "wink wink nudge nudge" thing. Of all the references, I only get the ones from the ME trilogy and HR, since those appear to be the only games I've played in common with IgnusDei. If it weren't for others pointing out the FF and Drakengard references I would literally never have known that other properties had been given shoutouts. I personally don't feel like the references are taking me out of the story, to be honest. And while I'm delurked: Great story so far, IgnusDei! I stumbled on this story on my last day of Christmas vacation (good ol' Tv Tropes) and have been coming back everyday for new installments since. Thanks! Keep on writing and I'll keep on reading! And do please keep on keeping Hein as crazy as the Doctor!
I personally would be just fine without any of the references. Most of the time they are annoying because of lack of knowledge and total lack of willpower to look them up.
Meh, I don't think I get the references but the story works fine for me without understanding them; I barely even notice them unless they're pointed out in the thread. I've never played any of the Final Fantasy games and I understand this just fine.
well, let's get back to the story, then. Any thoughts on Manah's Geis? for reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geis
Geis. This isn't magic... right? Please don't include magic in this fic. Anyway, I'd say that it's an extension of the Asari's melding ability. Something similar to the Reaper indoctrination. Quite insidious if all the Matriarchs know how to do it. Another dirty secret kept from the galaxy-at-large.
How would a geis work in a sci fi setting? Does it follow a similar principle to indoctrination? How about nanotechnology designed to cause seizures when certain thought patterns are detected?
