1. The Rules of Spacebattles are now in a convenient location. Read them. Do it now.

(MLP) All-American Girl rewrite

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Shinzakura, Jan 28, 2013.

  1. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

    Well, here we go: commencing with the rewrite. The beta was already posted in the old thread, but here it is again.
    https://docs.google.com/a/megamistu...PRk6iYZ7ShbkVUV2coo_0KieunbkVrDRdr9HxJnA/edit

    Hopefully soon I'll be able to post (the new) chapter two which will add a lot more to what's going on.
    TrivetLurker likes this.
  2. Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

    Heh, had a bit of a start when this was first posted. Thought it was the brand new second chapter. Wasn't a problem in the end though.

    So . . . Minty seems to be getting a lot more screen time in this early chapters. Are we going to see more of her in the later chapters a well? 'Cause, given the way she was before the rewrite, those don't seem to be a lot of scenes where she can come in. However, given that there's a whole new chapter coming up, things might change a lot in that regard.
  3. Wade Garrett Cranky peasant throwing rocks at the castle.

    The drama...ouch.
    There's no fight like a family fight, where everyone involved knows exactly what buttons to push and where to stick the knives in.
  4. Actually it feels like, at least when DJ was a young teen, that both sides were mashing those buttons without even realizing they are there, or at best grossly underestimating their effect on the other. Assumptions, ignorance, and lots of hurtful words before either side really absorbed that mother and daughter grew up in cultures alien to the other. From there action and reaction spiral outwards.
  5. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

  6. Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

    I'm guessing it's going to be Derpy that eventually convinces Autumn to not divorce Ditzy, 'cause I don't think that he's going to stop on his own at this point.
  7. Questiondeca A little hard of hearing in one ear.

    Fixed for you.
  8. Itsune Ship's Cat, part time Gunner,and back-up Pilot.

    My only problem, so far, is that "Google Docs" borks on the browser at the local library.
    Do you have this posted elswhere?
  9. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

    farsan likes this.
  10. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

  11. Questiondeca A little hard of hearing in one ear.

    Gah, wall of text for the IPad.
  12. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

  13. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

  14. Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

  15. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

    There's a point you're trying to make, right? :D
  16. Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

    Well, yes, that'll it'll be amusing as all get up to see people jump to conclusions about who's really going to do what.
  17. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

    And so it's started. Why does everyone seem to think there's a plot twist involved when they've seen everything already?
  18. Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

    Because there are people out there that have read Polarity but not AAG? I don't know man, but it's an interesting social experiment if nothing else . . . Oh, and I'm sure there's a lot of people out there who are going to get their hearts broken when that that final chapter comes along.
  19. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

    But the majority of readers who think there's a twist are AAG readers as well.
  20. Itsune Ship's Cat, part time Gunner,and back-up Pilot.

    Because you are an Author, and thusly damned to be painted as such by the same twisted and broken brush, as all good authors seem to be.
  21. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

    Thanks!
  22. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

  23. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

  24. Coiler Little Boot Emperor



    So, how many police departments decide to go after gangs on the basis of how mean their names sound, rather than their actual threat? This explanation for this new "Republic of Pirates" is dumb in a different way from the old one, and it's still really dumb.
    Sum Sine Regno and Roadie like this.
  25. Shinzakura Yeah, that guy.

    Contrariwise, how many groups chose their names - and still do - because they know they can get away with more if they have a non-offensive name. Hell, the Sea Shepards (a splinter group of Greenpeace known for their violent anti-whaling tactics) chose their name intentionally as a legal tactic in order to prevent checked out. It does happen, and there are groups out there who would go by "The Pretty Fairies" if they could make the name one of fear. You may think it's dumb - hell, I honestly agree on principal - but it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

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