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MLP Loops thread 6

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Saphroneth, Mar 14, 2014.

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  1. The fifth thread is approaching lock, so I've started the sixth one. Please remember to use the misc loops thread for discussion of misc loops; the previous thread only lasted about five weeks, and I would prefer them to last longer than that...

    Thread one
    Thread two
    Thread three
    Thread four
    Thread five


    The MLP Time Loops fic started as a dozen or so silly vignettes I wrote on the concept of Twilight Sparkle, and others, time looping (see the full description of mechanics below).
    Since then, I’ve just kept being inspired to write more, and others have also contributed (about a third of the compiled Loops so far have been contributions by other authors).
    The compiled version is on all three of the accounts linked in my sig. See below for useful link.
    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/98568/mlp-time-loops


    Loop mechanics (general):

    One person in a Loop, often the main character, is an Anchor. They are the person who first starts time looping.
    There is always at least one Anchor present in a given Time Loop snippet, though it may not be the local one.
    The standard pattern for a loop is that the Anchor (and whoever else is Looping there) come to awareness in a loop at a particular point in the story. From there, events will play out as influenced by the Loopers present, acting with the benefit of their foreknowledge, until either a predetermined end point is reached or all the Loopers have copped it.
    To be Awake is to be aware of the time loops (that is, to have gone back in time this time.)
    The Anchor is the only character guaranteed to be Awake. Even after others have started looping, it is mostly random as to whether they will be Awake this particular loop.
    Crossovers, fusions, and alternate pasts can also take place. It is perfectly possible, for example, to have the characters Awaken into a loop which conforms to a fanfic universe rather than reality.
    Loops do not have to be in chronological order, but it is strongly preferred that they not require a mutually contradictory order (where A must be before B and B must be before A.)
    Just about every Looper is very, very stir crazy.

    Loop mechanics (specific)

    Twilight is the Anchor.
    MLPverse Loopers tend to be very sane by Looper standards, and to aim to avoid unnecessary death – even though it’s temporary.
    I assume that the MLP Loops are about five years long, although they have recently started to expand into series 4.
    As of the point at which this thread is being started, the confirmed Loopers are:
    The Mane Six
    Spike
    All three Princesses
    Shining Armor
    The CMC
    Diamond Tiara
    Big Macintosh
    Gilda
    Trixie
    Angel Bunny
    Discord
    Nyx
    Chrysalis
    Magical object versions of the Founders (it's complicated)
    Berry Punch
    Mayor Mare
    Silver Spoon
    Cheerilee
    Zecora
    And possibly a couple more.
    (I may have missed one or two. But we already have over two dozen loopers, so please exercise restraint over bringing up adding more.)
    That’s about as much as can be covered without massive spoilers, I think.
     
  2. Conceptualist

    Conceptualist Avatar updated for Halloween!

    We will! Thank you!
     
  3. OathToOblivion

    OathToOblivion Bringing the Thunder!

    You say that Saph, but somebody is probably going to be stupid and not keep arguments to the Misc. Thread. That's what always happens, somehow.
     
  4. Conceptualist

    Conceptualist Avatar updated for Halloween!

    and we're bound to waste a couple of posts talking about things barely related to MLP.
     
  5. Ranma-sensei

    Ranma-sensei Reality-breaking Vampire Elementalist

    Don't make promises others won't keep.

    ...Aaand I'm off topic.:oops:

    Ponies! In Loops! Of Time!
     
    Conceptulist likes this.
  6. Conceptulist and Filraen like this.
  7. Filraen

    Filraen Bastion of the Fourth Wall

    That must have been some seriously strong stuff to to that to an alicorn on two drinks.
     

  8. 307 Ale. Apparently 307 proof.
     
  9. We've actually gotten pretty good about that.

    One a more on topic note, planning on working on the next Moonjack snip today. Thought I'd throw out a few minor spoilers.
    Firstly, Luna going AWOL with a few thousand ponies has butterflied into the Orange family founding Ponyville, not the Apple family. Thinking about Sunny Orange Orchards for the farm name, still working on Apple family style names for the Oranges.

    Also, ship names that might show up at some point.
    To Whom It May Concern,
    Sufficient Gravatas,
    At Sufficient Velocity,
    Clear Skies,
    Unyielding Horizon,
    and Lunar Guard's flagship, the mighty space battleship Yamato.
     
  10. We're in thread six now. I hope this one ends up being slower.
     
    Ranma-sensei likes this.
  11. Missed Zecora on Confirmed Loopers. /nitpick
     
  12. OathToOblivion

    OathToOblivion Bringing the Thunder!

    ...There was a lot of transparent text, in case you couldn't tell...
     
  13. 70.4 continued


    “Right, let's see...”

    Twilight scanned the list of books in the library, for anything new from the loop. It sometimes happened that worlds with unusual events pre-Awakening had entirely new books to read, and that was always nice.
    Ooh, a three-volume work on the integration of Princess Chrysalis and the Canterlot Hive into the government and society. I think I'm going to copy that one...
    Actually, checking her loop-memories, she'd been interviewed for this one. On the moment when the Elements of Harmony had been unleashed on Chrysalis, and had for whatever reason not sent the invader to the moon as they had Luna nearly a thousand years before.
    Well, at least three theories we mentioned in the interview are invalid, unfortunately, but it could still be helpful.
    “Twiiiiii...” her assistant moaned, looking up from a book. “I'm bored.”

    “How can you be bored?” she asked, turning and smiling. “That's a Daring Do book, isn't it?”

    “Finished it.” Her assistant tossed her head, sending her rainbow mane flying. “Can't I go and play with Scootaloo? I read all the books you asked for...”

    “You are a fast reader, I suppose.” Twilight thought for a minute. “Okay, go ahead. But don't harrass Spykoran too much!”

    “But he's totally crucial!” Dash complained. “I mean, he's a dragon who breathes fire on clouds and then makes them shoot thunder and he's just radical! I want to be like him when I grow up!”

    Twilight chuckled. “I know, I know.” This time, anyway. “But he does have a job, so if he asks you to leave him alone then leave him alone.”

    Dash kicked the table leg in sullen silence.

    “Oh, sorry, I almost forgot.” Twilight picked up a letter from the table. “Can you take this to Princess Celestia? Then you can go and play with Scootaloo.”

    Dash perked up. “Sure thing, big sis!”

    A blur of rainbow light, a boom, and Twilight's special assistant (and adoptive sister) was halfway to Canterlot by the time the curtains settled back.

    Twilight smiled, wondering just how many photos she should take of chibi-Dash this loop.
    That she'd be taking some was indisputable. This version of Dash was adorable – and potential blackmail or amusement value for her looping self, to boot.



    (As I mentioned.
    I think I'll do the Mayor Konan thing next - might be a multi parter.)
     
  14. That's how I'd intended it. Note the link where it mentions the name of the ale - also what Twilight is 'studying' (read: trying to de-filk-tionize).

    Sidenote: does anyone/pony know how to properly indent paragraphs in Spacebattles? My dribbles lose legibility without them. (They don't lose quality, though; they never had that much in the first place. :D )
     
  15. If you mean having properly spaced paragraphs, use two line breaks between lines.

    If you mean this, then there's a button just under the smily button. But it makes it more irritating for me to compile (though only slightly).​
     
    RedshirtZombie likes this.
  16. Conceptualist

    Conceptualist Avatar updated for Halloween!

    A suggestion for that, from google translate English to Japanese:

    Jimu shori no jutsu: Aka tēpu no ippō no sen-mairu!

    In English:

    Paperwork no Jutsu: One Thousand Miles of Red Tape!
     
  17. Conceptualist

    Conceptualist Avatar updated for Halloween!

    Off topic, and we haven't even finished a page yet.:p
     
    Dalxein and Ranma-sensei like this.
  18. Yeeeaaaaah. Something that makes me cringe every time I read a Naruto fic is a jutsu I can practically read in engrish, and 'tēpu' and 'mairu' are pretty much 'tape' and 'mile' directly from english. Though to be fair, they may have adopted the word for 'tape' and last I checked they used kilometers like every sane country, and might not bother inventing a word for 'miles', but still...

    Google translate should never be trusted unless you have literally no other option. If options are availible, use google translate anyway and cross-reference several of them.

    It's relevant. We don't want an insultingly bad translation in the compilation if we can help it.
     
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  19. Conceptualist

    Conceptualist Avatar updated for Halloween!

    i didn't know it was that bad. And it was more for the english part anyway.
    I bow down to your ability to justify and rationalize. Truly, you are the master.[/sarcasm]
     
  20. I'm going to be using translated jutsu names - that is, just rendering everything in english - unless it's a ridiculously well known one AND it sounds silly in english. Pretty close to the way I did it in Vulpine, if anyone's read that.

    I make no promises about proper names.

    Also, as a general point - it would be helpful if, when a multipart fic was finished, all the previous parts were linked in the final-part post. This makes it less likely I'll make a mistake.
    I know this is do-as-I-say not-as-I-do, but I've already GOT the multiparts in order on my computer.
     
    Ranma-sensei and Conceptulist like this.
  21. If you're talking about the Pony University stuff, I'm gathering it all in one document as people post stuff or I write it.

    If you're talking about stuff like the KLK/Pony loop where I didn't link them together after... ahahah... whoops? DX
    Yeah, we really should just link them all in the last part like you say.

    I'm probably harping on it way more than I need to because I was a reader/writer of Naruto fics a while back, and... yeah, some things just start grating at you after a while. Sorry about that.
     
  22. Conceptualist

    Conceptualist Avatar updated for Halloween!

    Nah, I completely understand where you're coming from. You don't get to pick your pet peeve, your pet peeve picks you.
     
    Ranma-sensei likes this.
  23. 70.5


    “My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I dislike morons, idiots, repetition, morons, repetition, hesitation, deviation and traitorous Teriyaki stalls from the future that don't exist yet. My dream is for the sons of former Jinchuuriki and the sons of former Hokages to sit down together at the table of brotherhood. With my Shadow Clones I'm almost there, I just need to find a table of brotherhood. And I like confusing people and committing untraceable plagarism.”

    Naruto sat back, enjoying the complete and total confusion of his team.

    While he watched Kakashi trying to work out if he knew his own past, he sent out a quick pulse of generalized combined magic/chakra. If there were any loopers around, they should respond...

    One pulse replied. It wasn't particularly coherent, which probably meant a newbie – or someone who hadn't had occasion to practise the alert, anyway.
    Well, guess I am the host for this set. May as well see how they plan to mess with things.




    “Seven vulnerable points,” Zabuza growled threateningly.

    “Self esteem, spleen, left earlobe, right thigh, larynx, hair style and fashion sense,” Naruto listed off. “Or they are on me, anyway.”

    He shrugged, as the missing-nin's patter faltered. “Hey, I'm a pre-teen, I've got a very fragile worldview.”

    Zabuza almost audibly decided to ignore him as insane.
    Seriously, where is that other looper? He's taking ages to show up...




    “Senseiiiii?” Naruto whined. “I've got too much chakra for this.”

    Demonstrating, he put his foot on a tree, and pushed some of the furball's chakra through his foot. The tree promptly fell over.

    “Huh.” Kakashi shrugged. “How about that. Sakura, Sasuke, practise that, while I try to avoid Naruto deforesting the island.”
    He's surprisingly competent when he's faced with the kind of problems he expects, Naruto thought. Then shook it off. That's unfair. Who could have predicted our first three years?
    They were interrupted by the sound of unhurried footsteps.

    A tall, willowy, grey-haired woman in a business suit stepped out from behind a large tree. Kakashi instantly went on alert, because the woman hadn't appeared to get to the tree beforehand – as though she'd just appeared out of the air.

    “Mister... Noruta?” the woman asked, consulting a clipboard. “I'm looking for a mister Noruta Uzukami.”

    “I'm Naruto Uzumaki,” Naruto volunteered, realizing what had to be going on. Or some of it, at least.

    The woman inspected her clipboard more closely. Then sighed. “This new intern has terrible handwriting. Anyway, I'm supposed to ask you a few questions? Just a routine survey.”

    “Go ahead!” Naruto said brightly.

    “Right.” The woman turned over the first page of her notes on the clipboard. “What is your name?”

    “...Naruto Uzumaki.”

    “Oh, sorry. I swear, these forms...” A pen scratched. “What is your favourite colour?”

    “Orange.”

    “Right... and your mother's maiden name?”

    “Uhhh...” Naruto turned theatrically to Kakashi. “What was it, sensei?”

    “What of it?”Kakashi said warily. “Who are you?”

    “I'm with the Akatsuki corporation,” the woman answered, and patted her suit where there was a cheerful name-tag sticker. Hello, my name is: Ivory.
    “Oh, I remember now!” Naruto beamed, as openly and sincerely as he could (which was very well indeed). “I use my mother's name. She was an Uzumaki as well!”

    “Ah!” Ivory scribbled something else down. “One more question. Are you now, or have you ever been in the past, a ninja?”

    Naruto indicated his forehead protector.

    “Splendid. Thank you for your time. Please contact us if you have any feedback.” Ivory passed him a card, and walked off.

    “...what just happened?” Kakashi asked, frowning slightly. “I've heard of an Akatsuki group before, but not for years...”
    Naruto inspected the card, watching with appreciation as the words on it changed to a simple name and address.

    It was what had been on it before, though, which made him sure he'd found the other looper.
    Ivory Scroll/Mayor Mare

    Usually a pony

    Head of Akatsuki Paperwork division





    “So, first time here?” Naruto asked Ivory a few weeks later.

    Both of them were here by proxy – Ivory using one of her new paper clones, and Naruto one of his more versatile Doppelgangers – so there weren't any concerns about acting in-character.

    “That's right,” Ivory agreed. “I'm the right hand woman of the head of this Akatsuki organization, which as I understand it seems to be doing something as stupid as using a very large hammer to stop a clock showing the wrong time.”

    “Pretty much.” Naruto slouched in the chair, waiting for the ramen to arrive. “Most of what I do tends to be related to stopping Akatsuki. You're from Equestria, then?”

    “Indeed. It's nice to know you have some familiarity with the baseline I'm working from in terms of understanding.”

    “Well, a bit.” Naruto allowed. “They're very helpful there. Kakashi was in a bad way.”

    “I have heard of that loop, yes. Twilight brought it up as one way Equestria's self-assigned status as a sanctuary loop helps other loopers in tangible ways.” Ivory gave a small smile. “But I assume that we're not here to talk about my loop.”

    “Yeah, true.” The local Anchor thought for a while. “Right. I guess you're anti widespread devastation?”

    Ivory nodded.

    “Right. Always good to check. How good is your grip on Konan's paper-jutsu?”

    “I can manage reasonably well, I think.” Ivory thought, then nodded. “I can do most of what my loop-memories say I should be able to.”

    “Cool. Okay, here's the plan...”







    (The correct term is "businesslike".
    I'll get onto the paperwork-pwnage next time. Potential vectors include a restraining order on Orochimaru - literally restraining - and/or rigging up a "by reading this you agree to explode" - style EULA for a Jinchuuriki to hand over when he's attacked.)
     
  24. Something that makes ME cringe every time I read it is the word "Jutsu" treated as it it were a legitimate english word! It's Japanese! It means, quite literally, "Art of". There is no such damn thing as "Shadow Clone Jutsu". It's "Art of the Shadow Clone! We've butchered our own language quite enough thanks, send that trash back where it came from!




    ... Sorry. I get worked up when I see things like that.

    Also things like being unable to tell the difference between Angel and Angle, or Quite, Quiet, and Quit.

    It just gets to me.
     
  25. Hazard

    Hazard Stop poking already

    I thought it meant 'technique,' but your criticism is well received.
     
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