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MLP Time Loops thread 5

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Saphroneth, Feb 6, 2014.

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  1. The fourth thread is approaching lock, so I've started the fifth one. Please remember to use the misc loops thread for discussion of misc loops.

    Thread one
    Thread two
    Thread three
    Thread four
    The MLP Time Loops fic started as a dozen or so silly vignettes I wrote on the concept of Twilight Sparkle, and others, time looping (see the full description of mechanics below).
    Since then, I’ve just kept being inspired to write more, and others have also contributed (about a third of the compiled Loops so far have been contributions by other authors).
    The compiled version is on all three of the accounts linked in my sig. See below for useful link.
    http://www.fimfiction.net/story/98568/mlp-time-loops


    Loop mechanics (general):

    One person in a Loop, often the main character, is an Anchor. They are the person who first starts time looping.
    There is always at least one Anchor present in a given Time Loop snippet, though it may not be the local one.
    The standard pattern for a loop is that the Anchor (and whoever else is Looping there) come to awareness in a loop at a particular point in the story. From there, events will play out as influenced by the Loopers present, acting with the benefit of their foreknowledge, until either a predetermined end point is reached or all the Loopers have copped it.
    To be Awake is to be aware of the time loops (that is, to have gone back in time this time.)
    The Anchor is the only character guaranteed to be Awake. Even after others have started looping, it is mostly random as to whether they will be Awake this particular loop.
    Crossovers, fusions, and alternate pasts can also take place. It is perfectly possible, for example, to have the characters Awaken into a loop which conforms to a fanfic universe rather than reality.
    Loops do not have to be in chronological order, but it is strongly preferred that they not require a mutually contradictory order (where A must be before B and B must be before A.)
    Just about every Looper is very, very stir crazy.

    Loop mechanics (specific)

    Twilight is the Anchor.
    MLPverse Loopers tend to be very sane by Looper standards, and to aim to avoid unnecessary death – even though it’s temporary.
    I assume that the MLP Loops are about five years long, although they have recently started to expand into series 4.
    As of the point at which this thread is being started, the confirmed Loopers are:
    The Mane Six
    Spike
    All three Princesses
    Shining Armor
    The CMC
    Diamond Tiara
    Big Macintosh
    Gilda
    Trixie
    Angel Bunny
    Discord
    Nyx
    Chrysalis
    Magical object versions of the Founders (it's complicated)
    Berry Punch
    Mayor Mare
    Silver Spoon
    Cheerilee
    Zecora
    And possibly a couple more.
    (I may have missed one or two.)
    That’s about as much as can be covered without massive spoilers, I think.
    TrivetLurker and Happerry like this.
  2. Wing Zero 032 This is no Zaku, boy. NO ZAKU!

    NEW TREAD, BUCK YEAH!

    Let's fill this one faster than the last one!
  3. Hahahaha–No.
  4. Wing Zero 032 This is no Zaku, boy. NO ZAKU!

    At least the delate post button is back, isn't it?
  5. 59.5

    Naruto Uzumaki, Official Most Orange Ninja In The Multiverse, frowned as the world rebuilt itself around him.

    “Team seven!” Iruka read off. “Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha. Your sensei is Sarutobi Hiruzen.”

    Okay, what.
    Naruto tuned out the argument between Sakura and Ino, and exchanged a look with Sasuke. The Uchiha shrugged, indicating both that he was Awake and that he had no idea either.

    Right, let's see... if gramps isn't the Hokage, then who is?

    His memories answered him.

    Okay, that's new...

    I don't know either, baldface, Kurama supplied helpfully.




    “I understand your sensible confusion,” the Hokage said, as a branch growing out of her desk placed two cups of tea between them. “But calm down with this relaxing infusion.”

    Naruto picked up the cup. “Wait, did that rhyme?”

    “Rhyming is a passion, an affectation. It, after a fashion, aids concentration.” The willowy woman wearing the Hokage robes smiled. “This tea of mine is brewed to make a panacea. It explains why, after so long, I am still here.”

    “I see. I think.” Naruto considered that, sipping at something which seemed to taste remarkably ramen-ish.

    Apparently this woman was replacing the first Hokage – and was still in charge, making her just plain 'the Hokage'.

    “Zecora is my name, I am the Shodaime.” Zecora paused, shaking her striped black/white hair. “Your confusion that I am now a girl – would you then be the Anchor of this world?”

    On Naruto's nod, she tapped her lips. “In twisted time, I am not versed. I ask you help, while on this earth.”

    The Number One Unpredictable Knucklehead ninja parsed that carefully. So, she was new to the loops thing, huh? Not too new, presumably, but... well, new.

    “Where are you from?” he asked, curious.

    “My normal form is a Zebra. I hail from fair Equestria.”

    “Oh, that place. Yeah, that was some of the most relaxing five years I've ever had... sure.”



    (I did ask that people PLEASE not overfill the thread... and yes, that includes you, Wing Zero.
    Also, how's my rhyming?)
  6. Samuel Vimes sighed as he pinched his nose. This was done partially to relieve his headache and partially to block out the smell of the large troll that was currently sitting in the middle of his station. He had Awoken early enough this Loop to get the Watch in fairly respectable shape, though Nobbs would be Nobbs, and... well, they were marginally better, anyway.

    Behind him, the door to the station opened, and he turned, hearing the familiar tones of the Leader of the Thieves' Guild protesting his (legal) innocence. However, the sight of the said leader brought him up short.

    The Thieves' Guild, as a rule (written in the first chapter of the Thieves' Guidebook), ignored many of the laws that the rest of Ankh-Morpok operated under. However, the law of gravity was usually obeyed by the Guild (in the case of some of the less-nimble thieves, terminally so). However, today, the Leader of the Guild appeared to have chosen to set aside that rule, as he was currently floating around 4 inches off the floor, and looking most uncomfortable with his lack of contact with the earth. Behind him stood a person who, despite a rather impressive stature, couldn't quite fill the Carrot Ironfounderson shaped hole that his presence caused.

    The mysterious man had blonde cropped hair that reminded Sam of a certain hammer-obsessed fellow he had met during a Loop in a version of Roundworld. He was wearing a set of shiny, silver armor, and looked somewhat out of sorts. Sam's street sense pegged him as a Looper.

    "I found this man stealing from a couple of old ladies on my way in. Uhm, this is the Night Watch, correct?"

    Sam's attention was once again drawn to the Leader of the Thieves' Guild and his current disregard for the laws of nature. "Ah, yes. And how are you doing today, Mr. Bleakly?"

    "Most put out. I am not some common criminal. I have a graduate degree in Pilfering, and Associate Degrees in both Chicannery and Fraud. I demand..."

    "Yes, yes, if you head over to the desk, you can fill out a complaint form, so long as you can present your Thieves' Guild Membership Card and a record of what you would have stolen if not detained. Please limit yourself to pilfering only objects of a total value of up to 10 dollars on your way out." Sam paused, then, as Mr. Bleakly had yet to move, due to lack of contact with the floor, Sam turned to the stranger-who-was-not-Carrot. "Ah, you can let him down now."

    Sam's assumption as to the source of Mr. Bleakly's levitation was proven correct when, after a long, suspicious look by Carrot's replacement, Mr. Bleakly quite suddenly dropped to land on the floor. To his credit, he made no noise in doing so, and, after straightening his suit, proceeded to march aggressively towards the indicated desk. Sam nodded, then turned back towards the newcomer.

    "Right, now, there are a lot of subtle ways to do this, but I am not much of a subtle man, so, you're Looping, right?"

    The newcomer nodded slowly. "Aye. The name, well, here I guess, I'm Shining Ironfounderson, and...I'm a dwarf?"

    "Adopted, yes. I know the man you're replacing, good man, usually pulls in Mr. Bleakly over there on his first day on the job, so, I guess you have the jump on that. In any case, welcome to the Discworld, and to the Ankh-Morpok City Night Watch."
  7. I propose the Booze shall flow forever.
    Its simply a better match phonetically. Oh and an early Zecora Noodle Incident finally revisited! I'm a fan. Especially for when they frighten Ponies with Bizzarre stuff. I hope my Rarity snipped gets included one day. What's the criteria?

    And all hail Luna the Moon Princess, wielder of the silver crystal, Neo-Queen of New-Equestria. "You're a PONY!" I laughed so hard... "You're a Magical Unicorn Pegasus Pony!" "I'm also a Princess? You're my soldier." "Do I get to ride you?" "Well, Okay." "DEAL!"
  8. I originally posted this to the Zelda Loops thread. This is a slightly edited version.

    Key point: someone noticed that the mane on Ganondorf's war charger was intricately, one might even say lovingly, braided into locks.

    * * * * * * *

    "Ganondorf?? GANONDORF the Lord of Chaos?"

    Twilight Sparkle had simply taken it for granted, when Discord hadn't reported in as being Awake, that he was supporting the lifestyles of upper-class pigeons in Celestia's garden, as usual for the first year of a baseline Loop. Apparently not.

    "He was imprisoned in stone in the palace gardens," an unAwake Princess Celestia explained. "We must retrieve the Elements of Harmony at once! Only with their power can he be returned to his prison and peace be restored to Equestria!"

    "Uh, not to contradict ya, Your Highness," Rainbow Dash said, "but it looks plenty peaceful outside."

    Twilight nodded to herself. That would change, she knew, when the Elements turned up missing. Ganondorf, with the powers of Discord? How could he resist sowing terror?

    But the Elements hadn't been touched. They were still in Celestia's secured vault when they went to retrieve them.

    "Good," the princess sighed, passing out the Elements to their bearers. "It appears we are in time. Now we must search the kingdom to find where that foul creature is hiding. We can be sure of only one thing: where Ganondorf goes, chaos follows."


    A week later, after crossing from one end of Equestria to the other and back again, no sign of chaos lords. No cotton-candy skies. No undead warriors. No discord (big or little D) to be found, unless you counted Applejack and Pinkie Pie's little tiff about the proper use of cinnamon.

    Getting off the train at Camelot Station, Rarity sighed, "Girls, I am ex-HAUSTED. I simply must refresh myself after such a long and fruitless search. I hear there's a divine spa a block away from the palace. Who wants to join me? My treat."

    After the week they'd had, even Rainbow Dash was willing to go along.

    The sign in the foyer read: NEW SPECIAL TREATMENT- shampoo, brushing, and mane styling 25 BITS. "A bit pricy," Rarity thought aloud, "but I think I'm in the mood to try something new."

    After a short wait the six mares were shown into a salon, where the stylist was just finishing elaborate braids in the mane of an upper-class unicorn mare. "I simply can't believe what you can do with those claws of yours," the mare said.

    "It is my pleasure," the giant bipedal beast rumbled softly. "And... done. Please pay the cashier up front as you leave."

    The mare got up from the styling couch, facing the Ponyville ponies. "Oh, you're going to just love this stallion!" she gushed. "I've never felt so pampered and safe in all my days! If only I could hire him to be my full-time personal beautician!"

    Six pony jaws dropped, none lower than the one pony Awake and cognizant of the true identity of the Lord of Chaos before them.

    "Good evening," Ganondorf said, bowing from the waist to the ponies. "I don't usually take groups. Who shall I start with the shampoo first?"

    Twilight stepped forward. "Ah, Rarity, you don't mind, do you?"

    Rarity blinked, then pulled herself together. "Oh, of course not, Twilight darling. I've been wanting you to do something different with that mane of yours for months now!"

    With her head leaning back in the sink and the water running, Twilight said just loudly enough for Ganondorf alone to hear, "What is the most evil warlock of Hyrule doing working in a spa? When he's supposed to be terrorizing Equestria?"

    "I admit," Ganondorf said, "that was my first inclination. A job is a job, after all." Was that a mischievous smile flitting across Ganon's lips? "But when I awoke, surrounded by the stone shards of my prison, I considered that I was in a world full of horses."

    He lathered up her mane and began massaging her scalp. "Horses were always important to me as a child. The Gerudo prided themselves on horsemanship. One of the few honest joys I took out of life was the time spent grooming my war charger. Since then I have always taken pride in my appearance, and even more so that of my steed."

    As his fingers began brushing though Twilight's mane, working the shampoo in thoroughly, he continued in a lighter tone, "So here I was, surrounded by ponies, after a series of frustrating or boring Loops, and I said to myself: Ganondorf, I said, if this keeps up you're going to begin talking to yourself. Time you took a vacation. So I looked around, found the first establishment that specialized in grooming ponies, and applied for work. After the proprietor stopped screaming and saw my skills, he hired me on the spot."

    A steely hand grabbed the forelock of Twilight's mane and pulled it back painfully. Two amber eyes glared down into Twilight's. "It goes without saying that not a word of this gets back to that Link or the Princess Zelda. Ever. Am I clear?"

    "No problem," Twilight grit her teeth. "Pinkie Promise."

    The pull was released, and Ganondorf pulled out a comb. "My goodness," he said in a more normal conversational tone, "that is a truly nasty tangle in your forelock. miss. Let's see if a bit of soaking can work it out while I begin on one of your friends, shall I?"

    "One moment," Twilight said, still using her soft voice. "Equestria is a sanctuary loop, Ganondorf. That means sanctuary for you, too. You don't need to make threats."

    "Oh, but I do." There was that glimpse of a smile again. "I have a reputation to live down to."


    The next day they brought Celestia and Luna to the spa. And took photos.

    None of the photos Twilight took showed Ganondorf- she was a mare of her word, after all. But she never wanted to forget what an ethereal mane looked like done up in braids.

    Ganondorf really was very good at his new job.
  9. Angelform Celestia’s messenger

    Passable. Not up to the level of the show but good enough to be recognisable rhyming.

    Poor Sam must absolutely hate fused loops. So many deranged lunatics of vast and erratic power coming to wreck his city.

    That said I am curious why 1) Shining was human (ponies would not be out of place on the disc) and 2) how he was using unicorn levitation without a horn.
  10. The currency of Ankh-Morpork is the dollar, usually a sequin-sized goldish-looking coin which actually contains a lower percentage of gold than seawater.
  11. Alternately:

    "Zebra is my normal form; Equestria's where I make my home."
  12. OracleMask You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

    I like how this works~

    And the rhyming is alright, but you misspelled Shodaime.

  13. He's human largely because I wanted to have him replace Carrot, and that works better physically if he is human (also, I'm not to sure the dwarves would adopt a unicorn like they might a human). Also, I figure that Shining has learned about using magic, even when he is not in his usual shape, just like Twilight and the others have. Magic exists in the Discworld, even more freely than it does in Equestria. My headcanon for this has Shining Waking up in mid journey to Ankh-Morpok, and spending the time while he is heading there to learn how to use his magic in this new world.
  14. Ah, I couldn't remember, so I figured "Go for generality". I'll change that.
  15. That snippet gives me an idea for one of the scenes at the looper bar: Funniest loop name you've had
  16. Five years? I count three, four at most.
  17. He's been there at LEAST twice.
  18. Angelform Celestia’s messenger

    Does it strike anyone else as odd that after 587,000 words of loops there has been no mention of Poison Joke?
    At the least I would have expected Berry to have experimented with trying to ferment the stuff.

    Or is this another of those things that was discussed in a previous thread?
    Ardon, Crisis and Indalecio like this.
  19. The decision to act as though the MLP Loops have a duration of five years was made back in thread one - before Season 4 or even the movie came out. We're more or less stuck with it now, there's been too many references to it.
    It's okay so long as vagueness with timelines is assumed.

    Twilight used it in the first chapter. I think I've just never had an idea relating to it since.

    If people are asking why their snippet isn't included, PLEASE LINK IT!
    Seriously, there's hundreds of pages to go through and the search function doesn't work any more.
  20. There was a mention really early. Twilight got Discord stoned on the stuff.
  21. The second loop, wasn't that after Kakashi started looping, or are we thinking 4kids loop?

    Speaking of the 4kids loop, when's the next update coming?
  22. OracleMask You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

    "Okay, I can see you succeeded in getting Discord drunk," Twilight noted dryly.

    If the totally sloshed Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony on the ground wasn't enough of a giveaway, Berry Punch was still staring in shock at her new set of wings and horn in the mirror Twilight had conjured up. Between the two of them sat the Cosmic Spectrum stone tumblers that Berry had asked for a few loops back, still a quarter-full of...something.

    "But how did you find anything that would effect him? Discord usually undoes everything short of the Elements of Harmony with a snap of his fingers," Twilight asked.

    "That was the easy part," Berry said absently, still staring at herself in the mirror, "I just needed to use ingredients that were as chaotic as he is."

    Twilight looked back at the tumblers. The liquid inside was rainbow-colored and hiccuping up puffs of blue smoke every few seconds.

    "Zap Apples and Poison Joke?"

    "Among other things. They seemed appropriate," Berry agreed.
  23. OracleMask You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

    As far as I know, the times Naruto was in Equestria were:

    1) Sakura-banished-to -the-moon loop
    2) 4kids loop
    3) Kakashi-repair loop

    And nothing about Saph's snippet clashes with any of my Kakashi-repair loop. Twilight only knew that Zecora was the First Hokage and that she has Mokuton.

    Even in my loop, I think I expressed that Twilight didn't know why Naruto was so quick to let Zecora take over Kakashi's treatment. This just explains why he'd trust her so quickly.

    EDIT: Tch, a double post? I thought somebody would've posted before that happened...
  24. Did someone ask for a poison joke snippet?



    "Silver?" Diamond Tiara ventured. "Is that you?"

    Silver had been plenty of different things during her time in the Loops, not all native to Equestria, but this was rather different. Diamond admitted that she probably should have seen it coming though.

    "Yeah," said the Awake sterling silver filly-golem. "I'm not sure, but my Loop memories indicate that this is the result of poison joke."

    "Oh," her looping friend, that she was once again meeting for the first time (and wasn't that a concept that took some getting used to), blinked. "Well, Twilight can probably whip you up a batch of the cure real quick."

    "Actually, could you tell her not to?" Silver requested. "This is kinda neat."
  25. Eh, Sorry, but it was posted an hour ago. I was asking for criteria of inclusion, not bitching about not being included. I wonder weather I should expand and rewrite a few verses to make them less close to the original and closer to something Rarity would say. On the other hand the whole thing is pretty Spike-ish and maybe good so.
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