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Mobile Fighter Evangelion (AU/NOT a Gundam Crossover)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Ultra Sonic 007, Jul 11, 2010.

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  1. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Nice. Even Sergeant Rei can be moe when she's confused.
     
  2. Ultra Sonic 007

    Ultra Sonic 007

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  3. Cody Fett

    Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

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    Hmm, a fairly good chapter. It definitely is easy to see how this could end up with the same "last thirds tragedy syndrome" that most Evangelion projects seem to go through, with the characters' psyches snapping under wholly different pressures then in canon. This is especially easy to see with Ritsuko, for while canon Ritsuko didn't loose it until after she was raped this Ritsuko is well and truly out of her mind before the series ever gets underway.

    However, I do have to wonder why the Fourth Angel is attacking at the end of this chapter. In canon it didn't attack till three weeks after the Third Angels attack, but in this story it's only been three days. That's quite the difference in time.

    Also, am I reading this right? Nerv is really using a Naval Gauss Rifle attached to the top of Mt. Hakone to send packages? That's brilliant, absolutely brilliant. :D
     
  4. Ultra Sonic 007

    Ultra Sonic 007

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    Which is sort of the point. Even if a lot of the super robot tropes get played straight, would that even matter in the world of Evangelion?

    It's all about the journey. And seeing if even the extra advantages given by 'Super Robot Pills' can counter the 'Gainax Syndrome' inherent in Evangelion as a whole.

    Plus, as you've gathered with all the tidbits tossed around (a fourth MAGI consisting of a partially-pulverized Naoko Akagi, a Project Nephilim that apparently bred Angelically-enhanced humans for military clients, Rei having been in military service when she was chronologically less than seven years old, ZA GUNDAMS, ZA ANIMALS, AOBA'S A GIRL, Ibuki Twins, etc.), this world is a bit...different, from canon.

    Not tellin' how we get there though. :3

    This is intentional. I mean, how do you think NERV feels?

    And yes, NERV delivers via rail gun. FedEx ain't got nothin' on that.
     
  5. K9Thefirst1

    K9Thefirst1

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    ...What?
     
  6. Cody Fett

    Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

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    I don't expect you to. Professional courtesy, and all that. ;)

    For me though the most telling part that emphasized both the differences between MFE and canon Eva, and the foreshadowed the impending darkness, was Maya. In canon Eva she has a sort of technophilic hero worship complex towards Ritsuko, but in this story she's someone who's genuinely traumatized by her superior's madness and who just wants to see herself and her brother survive until retirement. It's pretty sobering actually.

    Distraught probably. This is, after all, not according to the scenario. [​IMG]

    Well, FedEx might argue that their shipping is superior because their jets don't cost $77,200,000, but then Nerv would argue that their initial cost is recouped later since they don't have to pay for fuel, but then FedEx would point out all the power they consume every time they fire off the N-Gauss, but then Nerv would point out that they own their power generators, but then FedEx out point out the lack of availability and then they'd win. And stuff.

    Ah yes. See, in the Japanese dub of NGE it's heavily implied that Ritsuko was raped by Seele's goons in front of the head 12 members. That's why she went nuts, and tried to kill Gendo. Rei was the one that was originally scheduled to go to that meeting, but Gendo changed it so that Ritsuko would go in her place (says the villains, of course). There's a thread on EvaGeeks that points out the specific dialog word for word, but I'll have to dig that up later.
     
  7. FourthWall

    FourthWall Local Girl Homus Everything

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    Whuh-oh, I smell crazy fanon. I think you mean, "canon Ritz didn't lose it until she lost Misato as a friend, thought she lost Gendo to Rei III, and was sent naked to appear in front of NERV in Rei III's stead."
     
  8. Ultra Sonic 007

    Ultra Sonic 007

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    *grins like the Cheshire Cat*

    Maaa~aaybe.

    Naturally, the scenario is somewhat different, given the nature of [INDECIPHERABLE] and [INDECIPHERABLE].
     
  9. Cody Fett

    Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

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    Nope, what you're talking about is "the crazy fanon." The actually canon is much worse.

    And here's the relevant post!

    Why do I have a feeling that one of those [INDECIPHERABLE] is going to an evil Angelic duplicate of the characters?
     
  10. FourthWall

    FourthWall Local Girl Homus Everything

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    Not to sound like a douchebag, but...

    >implying EvaGeeks interpretation is more canonical than anything else.

    Japanese or English, you can read that scene either as degradation of self (going from the Ritz to the rubble, as it were) or as SEELE giving Ritsuko a Japanese Hello en masse.

    "I didn't care what happened to my body" can be seen as her just being Gendo's mistress, whoring herself out for human companionship.

    I do like that take on Maya in this fic though.
     
  11. Cody Fett

    Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

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    Perhaps, but at that point in the series I'm inclined to believe the worst, and the worst just so happens to be Seele wanted to see a live porno staring the Nerv staff. Besides, it makes much more sense for Ritsuko to become totally unhinged (and suicidal, I don't think I could ever forget that) after something like that then after a simple strip search.
     
  12. Mike313

    Mike313

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    Personally, it always seemed to me that what really sent her off the deep end was the knowledge that Gendo sent her to SEELE in order to spare Rei. Considering what Ritsuko's done for Gendo (because really, what was in it for her if Gendo's scenario worked? Zilch.) it must've been utterly infuriating to know that she could never, ever be more important to him than Rei.
     
  13. Cody Fett

    Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

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    That's one way things could have gone, and the added possibility that Seele could have had her only makes that angle worse in every possible way. Definitely something that could have sent her over the edge. However, like I've said before, the information that Rei was supposed to be there instead of Rei comes straight from the mouths of villains, and as y'all are well aware, they're not the most reliable of narrators. Something to think about considering Gendo's genuinely surprised look when he confronts Ritsuko later.
     
  14. Stormwind

    Stormwind Yuusha Destron

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    >implying to actually know how to imply

    Sorry, couldn't stop myself
     
  15. K9Thefirst1

    K9Thefirst1

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    Having just watched both versions of Episode 23, I have to say that there still isn't much evidence that SEELE either raped Ritsuko, or had someone hiding in the room to do it, other than the original Japanese subtitles, and the wording is rather ambiguous anyway.

    "We want this to go smoothly. We don't want you to suffer anymore shame." [Sic (bold for emphasis)] I'd say that has to do with the fact that she's standing there in all her glory. Kiel is an evil bugger, but I would think that he would like to cultivate a different image than that for anyone not directly in their circle (IE: Anyone not Gendo). Putting on airs of modesty would be a way to do so.

    After the reaction SEELE had after the 12th Angel fight, I say that they wanted to talk to Rei about what-if anything-she saw/experienced during the fight with Armisael. There is a scene right before the scene in question where Fuyutsuki discuss about how the mere fact that "Rei" is alive could cause problems with SEELE. However, in that scene, Gendo basically says that he sent Ritsuko instead, much like Misato was in the stead of Shinji, though instead of Akagi going of her free will out of concern over how Kiel and the others would treat the pilot in their interrogation, Gendo sent the "eye candy" without its "wrapper" as a way to thumb his nose at the council, figuring he could get by with it via shere audacity. Much like he did with lieing about Iruel in the MAGI.

    I could see Gendo tricking Ritsuko into going into the meeting/hologram room naked, thinking that it would be for a "kinky sex" session.

    As with all narrative conventions, Rape can make for a great way to develope things, but there are other ways to get the same effect that you could use as both a professional author, and as a fan fiction author/speculator, otherwise the act loses some meaning. Anno to that point was having "rapes" via symbolism. Extreamly thick and heavy symbolism, but symbolism nonetheless.

    Ritsuko's issues always struck me as the culmination of an Elecktra Complex. Remember how in episode 21 we saw a young Ritsuko watch Naoko snogging a Post-Yui Gendo? The fact that she winds up sexing the same man her mom does, along with the dialogue from Naoko about how Ritsuko never had a masculine parental figure in her life, makes it seem more likely that the breakdown comes from that.

    As for Eva Geeks, it wouldn't be the first time they took things out of proportion, assuming things were Canon, that turned out not to be.

    Eva Geeks is a great source, but I would take anything not directly from GAINAX with a pinch of salt.
     
  16. Cody Fett

    Cody Fett Transitional Phrase Nut

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    Hmm, very in depth analysis K9. You've done a great job picking apart the scene in question (and you apparently got those Eva DVDs you wanted for Christmas). The exact truth of said is still up in the air, and will likely be that way until Gainax inevitably releases a Super Special Awesome Expanded Special Edition of the series. Until then though only one thing is for certain: that scene will never come up in this fic. There'll likely be something far more traumatizing in its place, but that's besides the point.
     
  17. K9Thefirst1

    K9Thefirst1

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    Oh! Thanks! ^_^ (And yes I did! I must say that it was interesting to watch the original and Renewal versions of episodes 21-24 back-to-back. Plus the commentary of episode six with Tiffany Grant (Asuka) whoever does Misato was a riot. And then there's Tiffany's Asuka Merch collection... I think I know why ADV went out of business)

    Considering how shy Anno and GAINAX were about other disturbing events such as Suicide, Parental Abandonment, Murder and Sexual Repression (Read: Not. At. All.) it would seem odd for the man and his team to suddenly take such pains to avoid making such a topic blatant.

    If that were so, you'd think that they would've at least had Ritsuko say something along the lines of "You KNEW didn't you!? You knew what they were going to do to [Rei] and sent me instead!!" during the interogation in 24.

    Plus, wouldn't Ritsuko seem more distraught right after that questioning scene if she was? Dead eyes, facial tics, the stereotypical "I'm unclean, must sit in a cold shower for 6 hours" scene?

    And then there's how I can't really conceive why the council would really bother.

    I'm not saying that SEELE is above using Rape of either orientations/sexes as a tool towards their own ends, but like all tools it must be carefully chosen to best fit the situation and wielded with utmost care.
     
  18. Ultra Sonic 007

    Ultra Sonic 007

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    To be fair, she's also gonna have more opportunities to be assertive that canon denied her.

    Here, Gendo has set things up so he can be a lot more overt about his responses to the attempts of others to hamper NERV.

    Remember that event where NERV's power systems were sabotaged right before the Matariel fight? Here, due to certain various circumstances, NERV actually catches the saboteur.

    Gendo leaves said saboteur in Ritsuko's clutches. :3
     
  19. Whiteagle

    Whiteagle The Guardian of Freedom

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    That poor bastard...
     
  20. Ultra Sonic 007

    Ultra Sonic 007

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    ...why can I see Gendo doing this?

    [​IMG]
     
  21. Whiteagle

    Whiteagle The Guardian of Freedom

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    ...Is that...

    ...Is that Setsuna in the corner?
     
  22. K9Thefirst1

    K9Thefirst1

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    ...Yes. Yes I can.

    But who's the little Gundam? Kensuke?
     
  23. Stormwind

    Stormwind Yuusha Destron

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    Yes, yes it is.
    And he is jealous of how Domon could become a gundam way before and way better than him.
     
  24. Ultra Sonic 007

    Ultra Sonic 007

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    Even determinators need their beauty sleep.

    /Misato’s Apartment, Tokyo-3, Japan/

    The sliding door slammed into the frame.

    “SHINJI! WAKE UP! AN ANGEL’S HERE!”

    Shinji Ikari resisted the urge to twitch as he heard Misato dash back into her room. I still feel so sore…

    Apparently, the Angels weren’t that understanding, since it had been less than three days total since the last attack. Were they going to attack this frequently?

    …I can’t worry about that now. There was no point to it; fretting about things he couldn’t change would only make things worse. Focus only on what you can do now…focus on why you’re here. Piloting the Evangelion. Stopping the Angels.

    Preventing Third Impact.

    Despite the injuries to his body, his spirit was willing enough to make up for it.

    A minute later, Misato burst back into Shinji’s room, clad in the same uniform she had worn the day he had arrived in Tokyo-3 – a red jacket and a brown dress that went down to her thighs. “You ready?”

    Shinji settled for nodding, not quite trusting his voice at the moment.

    Misato smiled, pleased at the boy’s determination. “Good boy.” She grabbed him by the hand and yanked him forward, heading towards the wall beside the kitchen refrigerator. Shinji barely had time to make note of the current time – 6:21 AM – before Misato spoke. “Pen-Pen’s already headed down into the Geofront, so he’ll be able to buy us some time with the P2 System.” She flipped open a panel along the side of the refrigerator, revealing a keypad. After inputting the code, a brief chime sounded before the wall slid open, revealing a cylindrical elevator…with the key difference of several strap-in vests.

    “Okay Shinji, buckle up and hang on tight!”

    The Third Child obediently did so, not quite understanding the purpose of the vests, but still too tired to question or argue. “Okay Misato-san…what now-?”

    “Just try and enjoy the ride!” exclaimed the Lieutenant Colonel as she slammed a big red button on the elevator panel. Moments later, the doors slid shut, and magnetic rails shot the elevator down into the Geofront.

    If nothing else, Shinji was definitely awake by the time the ride ended twelve seconds later, if only because of his screaming on the way down.

    xxxx

    Episode 6: ENEMIES (One Who Endures)

    xxxx
     
  25. Prince Charon

    Prince Charon Just zis guy, you know?

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    Oh, my. Interesting emergency transport, that.
     
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