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NGE: Nobody Dies (the dedicated update/stuff thread)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by GreggHL, Dec 29, 2009.

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  1. Stavaros_Arcane

    Stavaros_Arcane All Arguments invalidated.

    another good point. Excess fanservice tends to ruin a work. In writing that much fanservice leaves little space for the actual plot and development.

    And I'm not sure who would do the penetration in that case. It is quite the perplexing mystery.
  2. TheFourthman

    TheFourthman Stranger in a strangeland

    Spy with an Israfel mask..

    Spy backstabs an Israfellum..

    "I was never on your side!!"

    YES!! I wanted the flashback to where he rode Adam down into the underground river stabbing him.. And got it with Gregs post.. Once again Greg delivers...

    I'd put down Shinji as either an Action Survivor or Knight Errant but thats me
  3. Stavaros_Arcane

    Stavaros_Arcane All Arguments invalidated.

    Oh here's the last bit of that NERV Australia Omake chapter 1 I was doing. not sure if a chapter 2 will occur but it might.

    Part 5

    Eric came out of his pleasant drug induced dose to find himself lying down in an infirmary room. First thing he noticed was his shirt was missing and a number of scratches had been dressed and bandaged.

    “Ah Mr. Miller, you’re awake.” An attractive blonde nurse was now beside him smiling, “How are you feeling.”

    “Well not doubled over with pain, so that’s a plus.” Eric replied.

    “Excellent. We took a look at you, fortunately you avoided anything more that some heavy bruising so you are well enough to return to duty. I’ve got some painkillers for you to lessen the ache you will feel for the next day or so.” The nurse said.

    “Cool. Then I have two questions, where is the woman I was with when I was brought here? And where is my shirt?” Eric asked.

    The nurse gave a little giggle, “Both Tihana and your shirt are out front.”

    Eric got up and headed for the door, “So who are you pranking by putting my shirt out there, the new guy or the shy girl?"

    “You’ll have to figure that out for yourself, now won’t you.” The Nurse chuckled.


    Judging by the blush on Tihana’s face when she caught a look at him shirtless, it was probably to mess with her. The shirt had been neatly folded on the bench that the lab technician was sitting on waiting. The blush deepened when he asked her to pass his shirt to him and she tore her eyes away from looking at his abs.

    Other staff members, mainly security, were in the room waiting to get an array of mild injuries patched up after the attack. Eric looked around his eyes stopping at one man who was missing a large chunk of his ear, the man giving a rather unpleasant smile when he noticed Eric’s attention.

    “If you aren’t waiting on anything else, shall we leave Tihana?” Eric asked.

    “Yes” Tihana answered meekly. “I actually need to report for my shift soon.”

    “I need to find one of the maintenance staff so I can learn my duties. I’ll walk you to your station if you’d like.” Eric said.

    They didn’t say much as they walked to Tihana’s station.

    Eric turned to go but paused, “Well time for us to each get to work. If possible I’d like to see you again soon, under better conditions preferably.”

    “I’d like that Eric.” Tihana said with a shy smile.

    Eric stood alone again for a moment, reflecting on everything that had happened today and wat had led him to be dumped in this continent of insanity.

    Eric shrugged, “Totally worth it.” He muttered to himself as he set off to find his place in the NERV Australia team.
  4. AmIADream

    AmIADream A mere figment

    Dr. Mondschein: That's what they all say...

    Hey, you only say that because SEELE didn't like you and shoved a localized Instrumentality in your face.

    Dr. Mondschein: ... Quiet, you.
  5. Lain

    Lain The New No. 2

    Additional dialog options

    e) Why are you mooning everyone, Kaworu?
    f) Put some clothes on quick or there'll be a brand new crater in your seas of Tranquility

    Dialog wheels? What is this, Mass Effect?
    If it is, the controversy about the sex scenes in the first games is absolutely NOTHING once mainstream media gets a whiff of Kei's idea for an expansion pack.

    This is probably gonna be the weirdest. RPG. EVER!

    Also; I'm glad I can provide insights to help improve the writing process for all of you guys. Hopefully I can encourage you to understand a different perspective on things and overcome some of the unconscious baises in your writing.
    The fact that I get manservice is just a bonus!
  6. The D

    The D Toucan Ambassador


  7. fijkus

    fijkus Does this look like the face of mercy? Subscriber

    So, an Asari, a Salarian, a Turian and a human walk into a strip club...
  8. *SNRK*

    Good thing I just finished my soda before seeing that, cause I would've shot it out of my nose.
  9. EarthScorpion

    EarthScorpion Fell on His Sword

    The problem is that in the Kei's Life RPG, there exists a Renegade Interrupt option.

    It isn't under your control. It's under the control of your NPC sisters. And gets used against you. :(

    You also forgot;

    i) "How, exactly, are we having this conversation? The Lunar surface lacks an atmosphere of any appreciable density! I must study this phenomenon! Preferably by finding some kind of vigorous way of producing many different kinds of noise!"

    ... and that's when the bad porno music starts playing. Or rather doesn't, because there isn't an atmosphere.
  10. condonzack

    condonzack I'm so sorry

    Obviously its all a psychic projection of their UST.
  11. Whiteagle

    Whiteagle The Guardian of Freedom


    ...Since he's probably still at full health, he can just shoot his Sword with powar!


    ...Doesn't Attenborough already work for Nerv?

    I was thinking something similar...

    ...Also, I was thinking that the One True King of Nervia should probably be determined by a Karaoke/Rock-off...

    Yes... N&N FOREVAR!!!

    ...Why do I have a feeling Shinji's defeat of Fake!ADAM went something like this:

    After a mighty leap onto the glowing Beast, sword raised high, Shinji had forced them both to topple over the edge of the cliff.

    ...Unfortunately, Shinji had lost his grip on his weapon in all the commotion...

    The Great Bright Beast, for once showing some form of communication other than animistic snarls, started to taunt the Young Mister Ikari.
    "So, this is your grand plan, eh Boy?"
    "Both of us shall plummet to our DOOM!"

    The Pilot of Eva Unit-01 merely drew back a fist...



    "A MAN!!!"


    It is said that the blow Shinji delivered to ADAM was so great that the Earth Quaked, the Heavens' Trembled, and that it caused, for reasons no one can adequately explain, Zwei's primary color to switch from Red to White.


    You think THAT'S BAD?!?!

    ...You haven't even seen the... inappropriate... stuff a Rei will do with a Chalk Line while watching us...


  12. Stavaros_Arcane

    Stavaros_Arcane All Arguments invalidated.

    *shrugs* beats me. He's still the expert on beamspam regardless of who employs him.

    That would be awesome. Oh atop the forth wall and your memetastic glory.

    Wait wouldn't that make him Shinkara the White?
  13. Amras Felagund

    Amras Felagund Zwei 2.0: (not) ANGEL!

    I remember that on EvaGeeks! Someone pointed out that there is humour in reading either left-to-right, or right-to-left (manga-style).
  14. Stavaros_Arcane

    Stavaros_Arcane All Arguments invalidated.

    you know I think Right-to-left is more hilarious.
  15. shanejayell

    shanejayell Rebel without a Pause

    A silly thought: WAY back in chapter 14, it was introduced that NERV makes toys, action figures, etc etc.

    So how has Shinji taken having a action figure?

    And has this been shown in canon yet?
  16. GreggHL

    GreggHL Engaging hilarity engine/air oscillation booster.

    That'll become a plot point when they head to Evacon.
  17. The_Reptile_

    The_Reptile_ Afraid Of The Dark? Wise.

    Eva... con?

    Oh. Good. Lord.
  18. Stavaros_Arcane

    Stavaros_Arcane All Arguments invalidated.

    Kei's response to Evacon: "I'm in place where a large number of people with a tenuous grasp on reality and limited social skills are kept together with only each other for company surrounded by the things that encourage their fantasy. Its like being back in the Reetrix with my sisters all over again!"

    (warning this line does not reflect my opinion on conventions or the people who attend them. I did it for the lulz.)
  19. AmIADream

    AmIADream A mere figment

    I'd think Kira Yamato would equal to or greater than Attenborough when it comes to Beamspam.
  20. Eric Sharp

    Eric Sharp Rescue ROVER


    I... b-uh....

  21. AmIADream

    AmIADream A mere figment

    Shinji: Wait... I have an ACTION FIGURE?
    Asuka: I'll t-take one, please...
    Kei: Do you have one for Shinji as well as Asuka?
    Clerk: But of course.
    Kei: I'll take one of each.
    Kaworu: I'll take one of Rei!
    *Kei smacks him*
    Kaworu: Kiko!
    *Kei smacks him again*
    Kaworu: Siyon!
    *Kei smacks him again*
    Kaworu: ... Annette?
    *Kei sm- You get the drill*
    Kaworu: Kei?
    *Winces, as if about to be hit*
    Kaworu: ... :D I'll take one of Kei, please!
  22. cetra02

    cetra02 Rambler

    Yes, that about sums up my reaction. Also Rei at EVA-Con. That is all.

    If you will excuse me I am going to go somewhere that does not have a hole in the ceiling that may or may not be a portal to the Reetrix.
  23. That gives me an excuse to pull these out again.


    Beware world, for the Ree ask for commissions!
    IRUn likes this.
  24. shanejayell

    shanejayell Rebel without a Pause

    Oh boy....

    Wait till Rei, Shinji and the others find out about FANFICTION.

    "I'm having sex with WHO?!" Asuka yelped.
  25. Stavaros_Arcane

    Stavaros_Arcane All Arguments invalidated.

    Beamspam McMuppet controlled the guns on battleship/robots the size of the moon and the galaxy that could fire lasers and missiles that altered probability so they could hit all points in space and all times so that while firing wildly they couldn't miss.

    Jesus Yamato is slightly outspammed.

    That. that right there. possibly the funniest thing I can mentally picture right now. Especially since I can imagine Canon!Asuka and ND!Asuka both doing it at the the same time across dimensions. possibly in the same tone.
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