Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by GreggHL, Jan 19, 2010.
(Kind of figured it out right after I added my post.)
Are you really not seeing the issues here?
Shinji and Hikari had a night of activity six years ago. Her older daughter is five.
She wasn't hooked up with Touji at that point, unless it was within three months of that night.
Do the math.
EDIT: Ninja-ed. Damn.
Goddamn fridge logic, always coming up with answers at the least opportune moment.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oooooooooh shit.
Daaaaaaaamn now THAT'S a twist right there.
If there was ever a point at which a record scratch sound needed to be inserted, it's now. That's a helluva twist...also, was the ambiguity about whether she argued with her girlfriend or boyfriend intentional?
Now, something just occurred to me. Does Asuka (child) favor Shinji in any way, and if she does, how the hell has Toji not noticed?
Maybe it was Pat?
I'd say Hikari would have much better taste than that...and maybe Shinji would too.
Looking things over, the odds of Shinji being Ariel's father are rather... astronomically low.
If both Aya and Ariel are both five years old at this point... the pool of suspects for the father (or genetic donor) have gone up a lot.
EDIT: Word of God has stated Aya is the older daughter, not Asuka-chan.
It's a slim possibility, to be sure, but it's not completely out of the question...it's all a matter of timing and how long Hikari's pregnancy was. Of course, ultimately it all depends on Gregg's say-so.
The trope page has been updated.
The typo was funny.... until I read the rest of the snippet.... wow
Okay, so it was Hikari, not Mana, that got Shinji's virginity. Not only that, but there's a good chance that Hikari's oldest daughter Asuka was sired by Shinji. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, it also looks like Hikari got bi-curious in the time between junior high and getting married to Toji. Great, just bloody great.
Anything else you care to drop on us like a BattleTech soucebook before we get the real deal in the chapter? . . . Because, honestly, all the WMG is quite fun.
You know maybe that wasn't Shinji's first time.
How would Toji not know? Outside of denial of course.
I think you mean tripping instead of stripping over her shoelaces in the second sentence.
Well, Shinji did just break up with a currently unnamed girlfirend just prior to some massive rebound sex with Hikari. It is entirely possible that Shinji was sexually active in that relationship as well. Hell, it could have even been Mana.
This snippet also raises another question. How long have Toji and Hikari been married? Did he marry her so she wouldn't be an unwed mother (regardless of whose father Asuka is)? Does that even have the same stigma in post-Second Impact Japan?
Okay, so for a timeline.
When Shinji's 14, he meets Mana. Girlfriend of Steel happens, they loose contact, meet up again during senior year of high school. Shortly after that, Asuka has her blow up, Shinji spends two months in a coma. Shinji and Mana date off and on during their freshman year at college, up until the Banging of the Shinji where Mana beat 18 Ree for the honor of deflowering him.
He and Mana break up during the sophmore year. Junior year, the thing with Hikari happens. Hikari was dating Touji, had a big blow up with him, they broke up, she ends up looking for some support and talks with Shinji. Things go from there, they have a night of wild, passionate sex, then agree it was a massive mistake. She and Touji work things out, and three months later, Shinji's best man at their wedding, and nine months later, their first child, Aya, is born. Asuka's their second child.
Is Shinji Aya's father? Not saying. Hikari did do a paternity test behind Touji's back. She didn't tell anyone.
Oh, WHAT? Everyone gots DIRTY SECRETS.
So another cute little girl with father unknown, the plot thickens...
I see what you did there...
It's their naming scheme. First child's named after Rei, second's named after Asuka, etc.
Waitaminute. There's something odd with the phrasing here:
Either you meant to state 'six months after the wedding', or 'nine months after the night in question', or else Hikari has one freaky-as-hell pregnancy cycle.
Assuming that there's any intent to question Aya's biological father other than Touji.
Could be either. Hikari and Touji's reconcilliation was hardly a chaste one. So, yeah, let's say that after Hikari and Shinji had their marathon whoopie night, they decided that was a bad idea, she patches things up with Touji, they have some fun, and there you go.
Now we made the situation worse.
So if they have a fourth, will it be Toji Jr? (I guess they could use Suzu for a girl)
I feel that an earlier comment of mine bears repeating:
Gregg Landsmen, you are an evil genius of a fanfic author.
EDIT: Actually, let me explain further. I have never read a fanfic author's work that is able to be so simultaneously laugh-out-loud hilarious, heartrendingly tragic, intriguingly dramatic, just plain silly, or flat-out fun to read as yours... and the only published author that I can think of that fits all of that is Terry Pratchett.
Yes, I'll goddamn well compare Gregg to PTerry.
Though, Gregg probably employs less satire...
Hmm, and for their fifth child, Kaworu is a gender neutral name so the child's gender wouldn't matter.
...Although, I wonder if they'd go that far. Or name one of their children after the 17th Angel (probably not).
One thing that I find jarring in this latest segment, We're clearly dealing with adult characters here, but swearing is still censored. It works (and fits perfectly) in Nobody Dies, but here it seems kind of unnatural.