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No Gods, Only Guns (ME/Borderlands fusion)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Peptuck, Jan 20, 2013.

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  1. doorcf the first and only

    doorcf the first and only Luna's loyal guard

    Then physics are getting raped ... more than usual
     
    Bacle, Chase92 and DragoLord19D like this.
  2. InsaneCat

    InsaneCat Hurricane of Hobomurder

    Why am I still alive when I cannot breath due to laughing?
     
    Bacle, bdun140, Pulsor93 and 7 others like this.
  3. Kalaong

    Kalaong What will we do? What WON'T we do?

    COMING SOON FROM TORGUE-URDNOT! SWORD ROCKETS! BLOW YOUR MEALY-MOUTHED WUSS-A** ENEMIES RIGHT IN HALF!
    YOU'LL ONLY FIND THIS SH*T AT TORGUE-URDNOT! SO BUY TORGUE-URDNOT, MOTHER-F**KERS!
     
    JudgeDredd, Bacle, Chase92 and 5 others like this.
  4. Cyrus 21

    Cyrus 21 Kamen Rider/Spirit of Chaos

    So....Swordsplosion?
     
    Morgomir and RogueInquisitor like this.
  5. doorcf the first and only

    doorcf the first and only Luna's loyal guard

    are there any normal main characters left?
     
  6. Ultimate Pheer

    Ultimate Pheer Ever wonder what madness looks like? Don't.

    What do you mean by Normal?

    If you mean "Vault Hunters left to be introduced", then yes, we still have yet to meet Gaige and Krieg.

    I don't know what else you could mean.
     
    Jomasten, Bacle, Chase92 and 2 others like this.
  7. doorcf the first and only

    doorcf the first and only Luna's loyal guard

    I mean our normal, is there is going to be a main character that is normal by our standars and lampshades the insanity of the crew?
     
  8. Ultimate Pheer

    Ultimate Pheer Ever wonder what madness looks like? Don't.

    There's... uh... Wrex?

    Look, if you are at all familiar with Borderlands, you shouldn't expect sane from any character.
     
  9. doorcf the first and only

    doorcf the first and only Luna's loyal guard

    I know nothing about borderlands but I know enought that everyone is insane I' asking from the mass effect side
     
  10. SoftRogue

    SoftRogue Abuser of the semicolon

    Well...Marcus could be considered normal.

    Greedy, but normal.
     
    Bacle, Chase92 and RogueInquisitor like this.
  11. It is a strange and terrifying universe where Rex and clan Urdnot are the voice of reason and restraint for a major economic player.
     
  12. doorcf the first and only

    doorcf the first and only Luna's loyal guard

    Could be worse it could be WREAV the voice of reason and restraint or worse it could be Okeer
     
  13. Peptuck

    Peptuck ....insufficient dakka.


    Your blood is being oxygenated by PURE F***ING AWESOME.
     
    Bacle, bdun140, GhostStalker and 14 others like this.
  14. Presenting the joint heads of the Torgue-Urdnot reseaerch division:

    [​IMG]
     
  15. Blue Box Adventure crossovers?
    Is Torgue writing Dr. Who fanfiction?
     
    MetalKing1417 and Morgomir like this.
  16. Sucal

    Sucal Underground dojo KEYBOARD cagefighter

    Writing, producing AND staring in.

    Also working on making a table top game using the FATE system.
     
  17. And the thing we know is...

    Torgue's Dr. Who is like a advanced duofusion antimatter-matter annihilation heavy siege missile...

    That's a weapon where upon detonation, first a matter fusion AND an antimatter fusion event occurs... then containment fails and the 2 fusion events collide and annihilate...
    Also, it's a heavy siege missile... those are designed to destroy primary sector command military stations...

    In other words, as soon as the Doctor appears, the enemies try to surrender... provided they have time... and are still alive when they realise Who just showed up...
     
    krahe and DragoLord19D like this.
  18. ARGH.

    Must resist urge...to write...omake...

    ...not...resisting...well...

    -------------------

    The Cancel was a popular Illium site, at least by its standards as a dive bar. Inside, there could always be found a few dozen patrons, making smalltalk, watching the vidscreens on the walls, or just drinking quietly. The bartender and owner was a heavyset baseline human who kept his patrons happy with full glasses of their choice of intoxicants, and they never caused him any real trouble.

    Brief inspection would show the Cancel as a small bar with a malfunctioning neon sign in the front window, a cadre of completely unremarkable regulars, and a bartender who had nothing for defense but a Jakobs double-barreled shotgun. In other words, an easy site for a quick smash-and-grab.

    Three Eclipse Sister burst through the door, two covering the customers while the third shoved a rifle in the bartender's face.

    "Reach for the gun and die," the asari barked. The bartender shrugged, as if the gunbarrel hovering near his chin wasn't any real cause for alarm.

    "Alright," he said with a distinctly offworld drawl, "'S not even loaded." If the sister was at all offput by his lack of concern, she rallied quickly and continued.

    "Where's your cred deck?" she demanded. The bartender tilted his head slightly towards an old-fashioned currency register that had been modified with a storage deck where the cash drawer had once been.

    "Show me." Something caught in the corner of her eye. A quick glance showed her a door off to the side of the room.

    "What's in there?"

    "Coat check."

    A customer snorted at this. He kept smirking even when one of the two other Sisters trained her rifle on him. Normally such insolence would be a death sentence, but they'd already made their initiation kills. Today was just about money. Besides, none of the bar patrons had visible weapons, and the time it would take to digistruct any from their decks would be plenty of time for a Sister to put them down.

    "Darla. See if there's anything worth taking," the first Sister ordered. One of the other two broke off towards the door while the first turned her attention back to the bartender, taking a step or two back to compensate for the partial loss of coverage of the customers. The bartender had the cred deck in one hand and was offering it to her, though she was out of reach now.

    "Before you're gone, kid, let me take a guess," the bartender said, still offering the deck, "Someone told you about this place, right? Gave you the idea for this job?"

    How could he know that? The trio had been given this address by a senior Sister as a way to make amends for their role in a botched 'sand deal. In the Sisters, opportunities to make up for mistakes were few and far between, so they'd snatched it up. That was a day ago.

    The surprise must've crossed the asari's face because the bartender sighed and shook his head.

    "Figures," he sighed, "Catch." He tossed the cred deck in a lazy arc. The Sister's eyes instinctively moved to it, as did her companion's, if only for an instant.

    That instant was long enough for the patrons. Every one of them had been watching the Sister covering them. None had taken their eyes off her to watch the cred deck, and they all saw when she was distracted.

    The Sister covering the customers was hit with eight concealed firearms, six augmetic-concealed guns, and four thrown blades of varying shapes. No one was sure which of the patrons had struck the killing blow, but they were all sure that she was quite dead.

    The first Sister had managed to turn her gaze back to the bartender. She had no idea how he'd managed to emerge from behind the bar so quickly, and her attention was torn between the looming human and the storm of gunfire and whistling blades. Indecision meant weakness, and the bartender didn't even need to worry about overpowering her as he flipped the muzzle of her rifle up and under her chin. She pulled the trigger by instinct a heartbeat before she realized where it was pointing.

    The third and final Sister burst from the 'coat check' just as the cred deck hit the floor.

    "Watch it! They're all-" She froze mid-warning, seeing that she was both too late to warn her comrades and also about to die herself. She didn't even try to raise her weapon.

    "Oh, goddess damnit."

    ---------------------

    Brief inspection would show the Cancel as a small bar with a malfunctioning neon sign in the front window, a cadre of completely average-looking regulars, and a bartender who had nothing for defense but a Jakobs double-barreled shotgun. In other words, an easy site for a quick smash-and-grab.

    Closer inspection would show that as friendly as the patrons seemed with one another, none of them referred to each other by name. This was because most of them did not know them, nor would they likely ever.

    Closer inspection would show that the cred deck contained a variety of currency. There were traditional credits, sure, but there were also Jakobs greenbacks, Torgue tokens, and Tediore semi-edible currency stamps.

    Closer inspection would show that the garage-deck our the back door held Atlas APCs, Vladof half-tracks, and even a Torgue monstertank.

    Closer inspection would show that virtually all the items in the room labeled 'Coat Check' were megacorp paramilitary uniforms and enough heavy weapons to fight a war.

    And a casual blow to the flickery neon sign would temporarily light up enough letters to change the bar's name to 'The Canceled Op.'

    The megacorps were always running operations against each other, ranging in subtety from 'covert' to 'Torgue.' But for every operation launched, a dozen others are canceled because of unforeseen factors, usually another raid beating them to the punch. Nobody wanted to get mixed up in a multi-corp raid event. Overlapping corporate raids were technically classified as natural disasters by Illium insurance companies.

    Everyone in the Canceled Op today had a raid dismissed in light of the growing madness at the Maliwan building. Third-party raids were a fairly common cause for cancellations, and this one apparently had at least three, maybe more. The news dominated every one of the vidscreens, and the patrons always enjoyed seeing what they hadn't gotten themselves mixed up in.

    They always kept their names to themselves. Their day jobs made actual attachment to each other nearly impossible. So tonight, they enjoyed their drinks in like-minded anonymity in the company of tomorrow's mortal enemies.

    And with the three bodies dumped out back, the patrons of the Canceled Op went back to watching the chaos unfold at Maliwan.
     
  19. Ultimate Pheer

    Ultimate Pheer Ever wonder what madness looks like? Don't.


    Yeah, that was goddamn amazing.
     
  20. Peptuck

    Peptuck ....insufficient dakka.


    This shit is canon.
     
  21. Ultimate Pheer

    Ultimate Pheer Ever wonder what madness looks like? Don't.

    Wonder how many Torgue-Urnot guys were there, just because they got all excited and suited up to go join the Raid/Party on Maliwan, just for kicks?

    Only to be disappointed when Mr. Torgue told them they weren't going to steal anybody's kills tonight.
     
  22. Peptuck

    Peptuck ....insufficient dakka.

    [​IMG]
     
  23. captain melgar

    captain melgar learn the words

    im guessing they end up doing a surprise raid on hyperion get the wrong building and end up leveling tediore's branch
    it's better than new the following morning
     
    Chase92, DragoLord19D and Kalaong like this.
  24. Ultimate Pheer

    Ultimate Pheer Ever wonder what madness looks like? Don't.

    JACK FUCKING DAMMIT.

    Peptuck, do you really have a plan, or do you just keep doing that to make us think you do?
     
  25. Sinsystems

    Sinsystems Haruna is watching you

    I think it's both, he has a plan but he makes us paranoid enough that we speculate what the plan is and then uses the idea's to make his plan better and more awesome
     
    Bacle, Peptuck, bdun140 and 4 others like this.
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