The Conversion Bureau: Not Alone By Starman Ghost Reuploaded (with permission) by Sithking Zero Mysterious Landmass Appears In South Atlantic Ocean From Kenneth Forrester, CNN updated 9:04AM EST, Wed November 8, 2017 It was about four hours ago that South African mariners reported seeing a new island near Cape Horn, in what experts are calling the most bizarre geological phenomenon they've ever seen or heard of. This new landmass is extremely large - about the size of Texas - and almost perfectly circular. Authorities are at a loss to explain where it came from. "It doesn't make one bit of sense any way you slice it," says Yale geologist Ashley Williams, one of many scientists planning a trip to the island in hopes of learning more about it. "There isn't one thing in current theory that can explain a giant, unnatural-looking island suddenly popping up where there wasn't anything. Whoever figures out what it's doing there's going in the history books." The island's sudden appearance isn't its strangest property, though. The South African sailors discovered that when they attempted to set foot on the island, they were repelled by what they describe as a "force field." "The best I can describe it is, it looks like a giant bubble but it acts like an unbreakable wall," says South African sailor Ayotunde Ihejirika, one of the first to see the island. "It lets water through fine, it lets animals through fine, but if it's human or it's made by a human, it won't go through." Physicists are at a loss to explain how such a barrier could actually exist, but it's gotten the attention of the entire scientific community, who are determined to find out. CHAPTER 2 Thoughts on Recent Events posted by The_Iceman 5:57PM GMT, Mon November 13, 2017 Sorry about not updating these last few days, but I'd like to think I've got a pretty good excuse. I don't really feel like writing about the mundane details of life in Halley Research Station - or worse, yet another post bitching about how I'm in my twenties and still haven't had a boyfriend - when we've got real goddamn alien contact! They're pretty close to us here in Antarctica, too. Like pretty much everyone, I've been glued to news feeds these last few days. I figure now's as good a time as any to share my thoughts on them. If half of what I'm hearing is true, they're superhuman. They live a good 300-400 years, the pegasi can fly more freely and are more maneuverable than just about any aircraft, the earth ponies (I think that's the term, don't remember though) can pull dozens of times their own weight, and the unicorns can...where do I begin? And of course, there's their princesses, who are ridiculously powerful and long-lived even compared to the rest of them. Based on what they've said, they live in some kind of utopia, too. No pollution, plenty of food for everyone, quality healthcare, truly benevolent leaders...As far as I'm concerned, though, that's propaganda until proven otherwise. It all sounds a bit too good to be true. A lot of people find them amazing. But personally - and I hope I'm not the only one here - I'm nervous about them. Sure, they've been friendly so far, but what do they think of us? And if they don't like us, what are they going to do about it? And if they really are our friends, what is with that damn shield keeping all the humans out? I don't think they've let a single person actually visit Equestria. I've got more I wanted to say, but I've got kitchen duty tonight. I should do a post about that some time actually, but suffice to say the only good thing about it is it only comes once a month. Oh, and it gets worse: Eddy's picking tonight's movie. We're all watching Shoot 'Em Up. Don't get me wrong, I'm okay with the guy, but could he just once go with something that doesn't have a double-digit onscreen body count? (The answer is "yes, as long as it has a triple-digit onscreen body count.") 5 comments: Honestly Iceman, you came across as a bit paranoid in this. I think they really want peace. Just because our world is violent doesn't mean theirs is. Personally I like our new neighbors, maybe they can bring us utopia too by Talisman 6:25PM GMT, Mon November 13, 2017 lol stop being a pussy. they're just ponies in gay-ass colors...we're the ones with nukes... by jetsnguns 1:11AM GMT, Tue November 14, 2017 Ronnie Reagan liked to say "trust but verify", and I think we should apply that here. The shield's probably just the ponies doing the same thing. Probably. by StillTheBest1973 3:33PM GMT, Tue November 14, 2017 So you think it's going to be more Independence Day than E.T.? Man, think of how embarrassing it'd be if humanity got blown up by ponies. Don't let them shoot you with their magic lasers, we need you freezing your ass off for our entertainment by Crash_Test_Dumbass 5:47AM GMT, Wed November 15, 2017 Iceman turn on the news...that bubble is growing... by Cokebird 8:19AM GMT, Fri November 17, 2017 Life in Antarctica is powered by Blogworld, © Google 2015, 2017. NBC newscast, 6PM EST, January 19, 2018 CHAPTER 3 The segment begins with a blonde, square-jawed middle-aged news anchor shuffling through some papers as he looks into the camera. "And now tonight's top story, Equestria has opened its first conversion bureaus this morning, with a dozen of the facilities opening in South Africa and Argentina. They're well ahead of schedule, they weren't supposed to start doing business until February, but this morning we've already gotten the first reports, and, well, it's unbelievable, ladies and gentlemen. I know I've been saying this a lot lately, but I hope you can forgive me for that." He laughs. "People go into these bureaus, and when they come out, they're ponies! They're a totally different species! But don't take my word for it. You can hear it first-hand, or rather first-hoof, from some happy customers of the Cape Town bureau." The view cuts to the front of the aforementioned bureau. The building's bright colors and design straight from a fairy tale contrast starkly with the steel and glass of the surrounding buildings. The area is bustling with activity, human and pony alike. A sea-green pegasus with a black mane is talking into a microphone. She's speaking Afrikaans, with English subtitles appearing at the bottom of the screen. A header indicates that her name is "Winter Wings". "I was born paralyzed from the waist down. Even if I had the money to see a doctor, none of them could've helped me. But then the bureaus opened and I figured, well, what did I have to lose? Now look at me." She grins broadly. "I just went in an hour ago and now I've got a whole new body. I'm still learning how to walk as a pony, but I think I'll get the hang of it. And then..." She spreads her wings, "...I'll fly. It's a miracle, it really is." The next interviewee is a butter-colored unicorn with a bright green mane. He speaks heavily accented English, and his header lists him as "Bright Morning." "I mean, the doc said I had about six months left. I was an AIDS victim, it's a really big problem in this country but thanks to these ponies it's just like, done, gone, over! "Me and my family, we've got plans. My wife and my kids are going in next, and when that's done we'll be on the next ship to Equestria! It's really a new life, you know?" The show cuts to an earth pony doctor named Bedside Manner, accompanied by a brief voiceover from the anchorman. "But what do the bureaus' staff have to say about their work?" Based on his wrinkles, thick glasses, and slightly hunched stance, the doctor appears to be elderly. He looks rather tired, but he's smiling. He speaks English. "I guess you could say it's what I was born to do, literally!" He cracks a smile and glances at his cutie mark, a syringe. "I mean, I've been working as a doctor for close to three hundred years now, and I can still probably say this is the best work I've ever done. Humans come to us and they get brand new healthy bodies, and they get a chance to come live in Equestria for themselves! And you know, that's what this job is really about, helping people whatever their shape." The show then cuts to a group of men and women standing outside the bureau, holding various protest signs written in Afrikaans. The anchorman's voiceover takes over again. "But not everyone likes what's going on." The camera cuts to a tall, solidly-built black man who appears to be in his early twenties. His boyish face is twisted into a scowl. He's speaking Afrikaans, and subtitles again appear on the bottom of the screen. "They're taking people and turning them into ponies, and that bubble gets bigger and bigger every day. If you look out there you can see it from the docks." The view shifts to the barrier as seen from Cape Town's shore. "It's like, what's going to happen when it hits the town? Most people don't want to be ponies, where will they go? You know what it is?" The camera shifts back to the man. "I'll tell you what it is. We're being colonized, just like Europe did to us! We fought and we bled and we died for our freedom, and they think we'll just let them take it away again?" The show cuts back to the anchorman. "The bureaus and the bubble have drawn enough controversy between them that Princess Celestia's personal student, Twilight Sparkle, requested an open interview to calm public unrest. Be sure to catch it this time tomorrow, and we'll be back with the weather right after these messages!" (24 favorites already? Thank you guys so much! - Starman Ghost) CHAPTER 4 Now that I've met them... posted by The_Iceman 8:06PM GMT, Sat January 20, 2018 ...I still don't know. Yeah, they're here in Antarctica, too. Understandably, though, almost all of the news coverage on them has focused on the ones in South Africa and Argentina. Makes sense, that's where the conversion bureaus are. There are only eight ponies here, since the station doesn't house very many people. I mentioned this inan earlier post, but the most people living here at a time is only about fifty or so. I can't deny they've been pretty good guests. They made sure they got the base commander's invitation before they came in, and they've been helping out around the place when they have the chance. I swear I'll never get used to unicorns moving things around with telekinesis, no matter how many times I see it. a Now, on the subject of the bureaus. I've seen people who've been converted when they aired the whole procedure on a livestream, but honestly I still have a hard time believing it exists, just because the whole idea sounds so impossible. Ever since the ponies showed up, everything about them seems like it was ripped from a flashy sci-fi movie. More to the point, I think we all face a very uncomfortable question now: Is humanity obsolete? I mean, these ponies are just as smart as us, but they have powers and abilities we could never hope to match. And now that we can turn into them...is there even a reason for humans to still be around? What's going to happen to us? I guess I'll find out soon. The ponies brought some samples of the potion with them, and Eddy's going to go through with it in about an hour. I can't really imagine giving up my humanity, but I'd probably think differently if I was the one with terminal lung cancer. I've gotta admit, I'm actually glad he's going through with it. Taste in movies aside, this place wouldn't have been the same without him. We're going to have a showing of the Twilight interview when it comes on at midnight (an odd time, but the Yanks got to her first so she's being interviewed during New York's prime time) in the rec room. This could put my fears to rest depending on how it goes, but if she's anything like our politicians and PR reps, we'll just get vague bullshit. 7 comments: I won't lie, I don't have high hopes for the interview myself. If they're planning anything bad, they're not just going to come right out and say it, are they? by StillTheBest1973 9:19PM GMT, Sat January 20, 2018 Weird they'd choose Twilight for the interview. That poor girl shouldn't be put on the spot like this! by Talisman 9:52PM GMT, Sat January 20, 2018 I can't really blame you for being worried, Iceman. I've known Equestria and our Princesses a lot longer than you have, though, and trampling over other species goes against everything we stand for. I couldn't abide by anypony who would do something like that. by Evening Star 10:24PM GMT, Sat January 20, 2018 [Deleted by blog owner.] by jetsnguns 11:08PM GMT, Sat January 20, 2018 Okay, jets, there's being sceptical and there's being a dick, and you're way over on the dick side. I don't care if Evening Star's a pony, that's no way to talk to other commenters. by The_Iceman 11:31PM GMT, Sat January 20, 2018 Interview in 5 mins! I got the TV on so I'll give my thoughts. by Cokebird 11:56PM GMT, Sat January 20, 2018 What the fuck? Did she really just say that??? by Cokebird 12:07AM GMT, Sun January 21, 2018 Life in Antarctica is powered by Blogworld, © Google 2015, 2018. CHAPTER 5 NBC newscast, 8AM EST, January 21, 2018 The program opens, like the last one, with the square-jawed anchor sitting at his desk, but it's immediately obvious that he has nothing happy to report. There is no trace of his previous wonder and cheer; he is looking squarely into the camera and his expression is somber. A graphic at the bottom displays the heading"SPECIAL BULLETIN", and immediately below that, "UN Security Council Debates War With Equestria." "With the whole world watching, pony representative Twilight Sparkle provided answers to the questions on everyone's minds that were nothing short of horrifying. It was one blunder after another." As he says the last sentence, the program begins displaying clips of the interview. Twilight Sparkle and a middle-aged, lean man in a three-piece suit sit opposite each other in leather chairs. Both are smiling and their postures are relaxed and casual. The man speaks. "I guess the question on everyone's mind is, why do people have to be ponies before they can visit Equestria? I mean, I'd like to think we've made you feel pretty welcome on Earth, no transformation involved." Twilight's tail gives a light flick as she answers in a very matter-of-fact tone. "We've seen what your greed and corruption have done to your world. How could we possibly let you into Equestria?" Then there is a series of cuts, giving a summary of the interview questions and answers. As time wears on, the man's jaw becomes set, his sharp, birdlike face betraying very little emotion, and he sits more and more rigidly. Twilight appears to be getting annoyed, her tail rapidly flicking back and forth and her stance shifting until she's very nearly standing on her chair. "But why does being ponies change that? I mean, you let ponified humans in no problem." "Ponification fixes all the problems with your people. We get rid of that pesky human nature and reconfigure you to live in harmony with others." "Just why is Equestria claiming all the territory that falls into the bubble? Why is Celestia even expanding the bubble? That land belongs to the people who live there, and it's run by the leaders they freely elected." "Look, that's all just human political nonsense. I think you'll find life is much better under the rule of the princesses than under any of your leaders. You'll be happy as her subjects, I'm sure." "What about our culture? Can you answer that? I know that barrier doesn't let through any books, or movies, or, anything. What's going to happen to all our history?" "I'm sorry, but they'll have to go. The ideas in your culture are too dangerous to Equestria for us to allow them in. All they would do is spread greed, violence, and hatred." "Where are your freedoms, your liberties? Is it true that there isn't a single constitutionally protected right in Equestria? That the princesses can do whatever they want? You really think we'd want to live like that?" "They're goddesses! Goddesses we know exist, I might add! Why should they be bound by laws? They decide what's right. We just trust them, and you should too." The program cuts back to the news anchor. "This interview, seen by a record number of people all across the world and subtitled in over a dozen languages, instantly sparked international outrage. Princess Celestia couldn't be reached for comment, but clarified in a letter that she stands by what Twilight says. In light of this, the United Nations Security Council began a meeting about an hour ago and is currently debating the idea of war with Equestria to stop what many are calling an attempted annihilation of the entire human race." The program cuts to the charred, blackened wooden skeleton of a building, with a graphic reading "Firebombed Mar del Plata bureau." "The conversion bureau buildings have already been a major target of backlash and outbreaks of violence. One Argentina facility in particular was destroyed by a firebomb sometime last night, and the others in the country have been picketed by protestors, preventing any staff or patients from entering. The country's authorities have made no attempt to track down and arrest the bomber, nor to break up the protests. Mar del Plata police chief Estavan Hernandez gives his reason for this lack of response, saying 'We can side with the people of Argentina or we can side with the ponies that threaten us. There's really only one thing to do.' He adds, 'The ponies haven't done anything violent yet, but if they do, we're shooting to kill.' This attitude has drawn criticism from both within and outside of the country." The program cuts to a bush-colored pegasus with an electric blue mane. A graphic identifies him as Skyline, a Mar del Plata resident. "Look, I didn't have anything to do with the CBs." His wings flutter a bit, apparently without him noticing. "But when people are bombing buildings, well, it scares me, you know? It's like, where does it stop if the police don't stop it? Am I next?" The feed cuts to the Cape Town bureau. Several downcast ponies, Bedside Manner among them, are being marched out of it at gunpoint by soldiers. "South Africa's been more proactive about dealing with the bureaus, probably not surprising since the Equestria bubble is expected to reach Cape Town within a week, erasing the four hundred-year-old city completely. As the country's military deports the Conversion Bureau staff back to the other side of the bubble, its emergency services are preparing for the evacuation of the hundreds of thousands who will be displaced by the destruction of Cape Town. "Stay tuned for developments to this story as they unfold, right after this commercial break." The newscast ends. CHAPTER 6 (Author's note: Thanks to Dalek IX, who provided part of this speech. I know a lot of people have been anticipating this, and I hope it lives up to expectations.) United Nations Headquarters, New York City 1PM EST, January 27, 2018 The following is a complete transcript of U.S. diplomat Ellen Rowe's speech to the United Nations General Assembly. For seventy-three years, the United Nations has worked to maintain peace between the peoples of the world, to protect universal human rights and liberties, and to bring international criminals to justice. I have always been proud to represent my country here, and I have always been proud of what we have accomplished. Today, we meet to carry out the most important task the U.N. has ever undertaken, perhaps the most important task it ever will undertake. When visitors from another world arrived in ours, we greeted them as equals. We welcomed them, to our world, with open arms. How, then, did they respond? They insulted us. They passed judgment on us, deeming us unworthy of life. They have, through the use of a terrible weapon the likes of which we've never seen, attempted to utterly destroy us in a way previously unimaginable to us. Every day their barrier grows, swelling like a cancerous tumor that threatens our world. You've all seen what they did to Cape Town. A city of nearly one million people, with a history spanning centuries, was wiped from the face of the Earth and its people left without homes by the actions of their princess, Celestia. Nothing remains of this once proud city. Ladies and gentlemen of the General Assembly, each and every one of you stands to have the same happen to your entire nation, to your entire species, if we falter here! They want to destroy our bodies. They want to destroy our minds. They want to destroy our art, our music, our architecture, our history, our science, our technology, our monuments, everything the human race has struggled and toiled tirelessly to achieve since its birth, everything that we have ever striven for and found joy and meaning in! Through their actions, their arrogance, they have made themselves the enemy of every man, woman and child of planet Earth. It is for this reason that the U.N. Security Council has unanimously passed a resolution declaring war with Equestria on behalf of all of humanity. [Applause.] We will not accept their surrender until the barrier between Equestria and Earth has been destroyed, and their corrupt aristocracy has been stripped of every last trace of power and made to answer for its crimes. Already, every member of the Security Council has begun mobilizing forces to strike the barrier. I stand before you now to request that all of you, all the nations of the world, do the same. Humanity must stand unified against this threat, for whatever the outcome, we will all win or we will all lose together. We ask that you lend your ships. We ask that you lend your planes. We ask that you lend your tanks, your guns, your missiles, your bombs, your steel, your oil, your soldiers, engineers, doctors, every last bit of support you can possibly spare to this battle. No commitment is too great when the price of failure is our complete annihilation. I wish all the best of luck to the men and women who will soon fight for every last one of us. [Standing ovation.] CHAPTER 7 He's dead posted by The_Iceman, 6:20AM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 Now that I've finally worked up the energy to actually log in and post, I'll say it: Eddy's dead. It's like that purple one said on TV, the potion takes your mind. If he'd just waited a few hours, he'd still be alive. I knew Eddy. He wouldn't let them take his mind if he knew it'd happen. The potion was supposed to give him a few hundred years, but instead it took his last few months. That thing has Eddy's memories, but it's not Eddy. Eddy told some of the raunchiest and funniest jokes I ever heard. Eddy could never get enough of goofy, over-the-top violent action movies. Eddy hissed curses under his breath during tough repair jobs. Eddy liked to get liquored up at the strangest hours and spout off bizarre conspiracy theories after doing so. Good qualities? A lot of them probably weren't. But they were his, and he was a good guy despite them. They were part of what made him, him. And now they're gone. All gone. The pony that took his place calls alcohol poison and when I tried to watch Grosse Point Blank with him he left in disgust. He's a pleasant smiling zombie with wings. Never saw the base commander so pissed in my life. Short guy built like a stick figure, practically blind without his glasses. One of those earth ponies could've probably snapped him in half and there he was, staring them down and calling them out for the murderers they are. He'll probably kick them out. Not like we could make them leave, they're a lot stronger than us and we don't have the means to make them do anything. Like pretty much every country, the UK forces are too busy getting ready to hit the bubble. Aliens invaded and we're alone at the edge of the world. They actually seem apologetic, some of them anyway. They said if he wanted them to leave they would. One of them said they'd destroy all the samples of potion left that they brought with them. That was what ended up making the base commander say he'd need time to think about it, rather than just booting them out right away. Me, I don't know if they're being sincere and I don't care. I don't want to see those goddamn horses again. Not after what they did. I took it up with Karen, she was Eddy's girlfriend and she feels the same way. We ended up talking over a bottle of whisky and a movie in the rec room. It actually made me feel a bit better for awhile. 8 comments: kill them all!!! by jetsnguns 4:37PM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 Jets, don't you think that's a bit much? Shit like that got innocent civilians blown up in Iraq a decade ago. by StillTheBest1973 5:15PM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 That's going to be the big question of the war, isn't it? I mean, jingoistic assholes aside, when we're at war with each other we know our enemies are humans, they're like us. These are aliens, though. We don't know what we're dealing with here. by Pascals_Triangle 5:29PM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 Point, Pascal. I tend to look at these things this way 'cause I'm a history buff, so I'm just playing to my strengths. All that aside though, remember we're supposed to be the good guys here. by StillTheBest1973 5:42PM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 Right, I see where you're coming from, and I'm not saying killing them all is justified. I'm saying it's possible that it'll be justified. Obviously we shouldn't go through with it until we can be sure. by Pascals_Triangle 5:51PM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 Oh, we will win, Pascal. We're coming for those pastel bastards >=D Their princess is getting a nuke right up her ass! Jets' posts may be bad but he has the right idea. by Crash_Test_Dumbass 5:56PM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 Putting aside the war talk for a minute, Iceman needs our support. Iceman, I'm so sorry about Eddy. I know it feels like you're all alone down there, but we're with you. If you want to talk to me about anything, I'm just a PM away. by Talisman 7:02PM GMT, Thu February 1, 2018 Thanks, Talisman. Don't worry about that comment you left in my "Thoughts on recent events" entry, by the way. None of us could've known what they were going to do to us. by The_Iceman 4:36AM GMT, Fri February 2, 2018 Life in Antarctica is powered by Blogworld, © Google 2015, 2018.