Discussion in 'The Index' started by Sliverlord, Dec 5, 2011.
Would be cool to put in Aura Battler Dunbine. Some old school mechs.
well it depends which shouts. Most of the blasty ones would just manifest as variations of Dragon's Breath for Sylphid, and many of the other ones would not really be easily identified as spells. However even if they don't recognize them as spells this scenario would probably tip people off that she's a Rhyme Dragon as most dragons cannot breathe ice or blasts of pure force, or use super dash moments, or charm animals, etc.
What if it was at some point after he retires from office having made his city/whatever completely safe. Possibly have him have gotten bored since he has basically destroyed all evil and is no longer doing the politician thing. He might stick around the ZnT world a bit longer if that was the case.
Hmm, I'm just throwing this out there as an idea. I'm not really planning on continuing it myself but I'm curious as to whether anyone would want to give it a go themselves.
A blinding flash and a cloud of smoke engulfed the summoning circle. The young mage responsible, Louise Françoise le Blanc de la Vallière, found herself squinting to see through the crowd, as did her instructor and classmates. Had it worked? Had Louise the Zero, the eternal failure mage, managed to actually summon a familiar, or was it just another explosion?
Then, out of the cloud emerged a strange sight. A single golden butterfly. Or at least it seemed to be a butterfly, though none of the gathered knew of an insect that glowed and trailed sparkling dust, or appeared to be just a weaving.
Well it's not much, but it's something. Louise thought to herself, sighing and walking towards the golden insect. But, rather than simply staying put as a summoned familiar would normally do, the creature began to fly away! Louise began to despair, when suddenly another emerged from the smoke! And then another. And then two more. Suddenly, vast swarms of the golden insects burst forth, blowing the smoke and dust away, scattering in every direction. What the strange, almost ephemeral insects revealed with the veil lifted however, drove them completely from the minds of the gathered:
It was a woman. Her hair took the form of long, golden tresses, was tied in a tight bun on the back of her head, save for two locks that hung freely on either side of her face. She wore a long black dress covered in golden threads which seemed to form the shape of wings. Gold, gold, and more gold. Even her pipe was gold! This was not just any woman, she was clearly one of high class, a merchant's daughter, if not a noble!
"AHAHAHA! Well, I was having trouble coming up with ideas for the fourth game anyway! Normally I'd await the proper offerings before answering a summon, but maybe it'll give me some nice ideas." The strange woman said, her face contorting into an almost predatory smirk, while her eyes scanned the crowd around her. "Still though, quite impressive, calling me, a territory master, to another fragment. Voyager magic perhaps? No, I sense nothing of that power..." The woman continued, now speaking more quietly, musing aloud.
The bald instructor stepped forward, the assembled students still summoned. "Ah, excuse me miss, but it would seem you've been summoned as Miss Valiere's familiar. Although you are clearly a noble of some sort, the ritual is quite clear..."
The woman made note of his words, and then promptly dismissed the man entirely, instead choosing to look at the tiny pink mage in front of her. "Ah, you must be my summoner..."
Louise managed to shake off her shock at last and nodded frantically, "Ah, yes! I summoned you, thus you're my familiar!" To think that she, Louise the Zero, had summoned a noble!
"I see. Rejected." The woman stated simply.
Silence. Complete and utter silence. That was the only response from the gathered. For about 3 seconds that is. Then came the laughter. Nearly all the nearby students burst into uncontrolled guffaws. A redhead stepped out of the crowd, "How like you Zero, you actually succeed in a summon only to have your familiar turn you down!"
The summoned woman spared only a glance at the crowd, then cleared her throat and continued in a raised voice, "AS I WAS SAYING-" the laughter stopped, all eyes on the stranger once again. "I reject the PROPOSED contract. It would be unbecoming of me as a territory master. However," she leaned close grasping the pink haired one's cheeks. "I, Beatrice the Golden, have an alternative offer. You have much power little one... power enough to summon a master from her land in a distant fragment, and without senate intervention no less! Thus, I shall take you in as my new apprentice." A barrier of red appeared around the two, separating them from any possible interlopers.
"MISS VALIERE!" The instructor cried, rushing towards the newly formed wall.
A golden pen and parchment appeared in Louise's hands. On it were a few simple words:
I, the undersigned, place myself under the apprenticeship of the Endless Witch, Beatrice the Golden. I shall heed her teachings, respect her predecessors, obey her alliances, and work alongside her furniture. In exchange, I shall receive her instruction, and with it, great power.
Louise hesitated. This was no standard ritual, that was blatantly obvious. Possibly even heretical! And yet... this woman, this Beatrice, was clearly one of great magical power, bearing a runic name as fantastic as "the Golden!" If Louise had her teaching perhaps... perhaps even the Zero could grow strong. Certainly, Beatrice claimed she had potential. And the contract didn't ask for anything one wouldn't do under a normal apprenticeship (although the bit about "furniture" was confusing)...
The choice was already made. The chance at attaining REAL magic wouldn't appear again.
Zero of the Golden Witch (Umineko/ZnT)
Well, I have a few plot bunnies. Let's see if I can spin this into a plot that people will like.
"...With the help of Edsil Entertainment!"
Dean Carlyle, or "DC" as many called him, rolled his eyes at the message being broadcast over the lobby speakers. Genetically Integrated God-mode Apparatus? They were kind of stretching it with that acronym...
Well, he was here for a reason. Hands in his pockets, he made his way over to the gift shop. The man at the counter was wearing the typical blue Edsil uniform, marred somewhat by the out of place sunglasses the man was wearing.
"Excuse me sir?" Dean said. "I'm here to do some Beta testing. Could you tell me where I should go?"
The man adjusted his sunglasses -- unconsciously, unless Dean missed his guess. "Take the lobby elevator to the third floor, take a left, then keep going til you see the signs. Anything else I can help you with?"
"No..." Dean started to turn and then stopped. "Actually, there is one thing. How much for an Edsil badge?"
"I'll take one."
Dean swiped his card as the man reached under the desk and took out what Dean had asked for. "Looks like your card checks out. Here you go."
Dean took the badge and pinned it on his shirt. It was thick, blue, and diamond shaped, with a light on the right and left sides. The lights were also buttons; pushing them in would cause it to play Edsil's stupidly catchy jingle.
Dean walked away.
The test group was a strange assortment, as Dean had expected. Edsil always tried to get as wide a variety of players as they could for beta testing.
There was a tall pale-skinned guy with a long black ponytail chatting excitedly with an equally pale-skinned but shorter guy with short hair that was dyed purple -- battle junkies, going by what he could make out. There was some guy with long dirty blond hair, a beanie and a goatee who looked like a stoner, a really short guy with black hair dressed in a suit, some black-haired burly guy who was tapping away at his phone... There was a cosplayer of course, though Dean couldn't tell what she was dressed as -- his first thought was "Gundam" but that couldn't be right -- who was chatting amiably with a hispanic guy with bleached spiky hair and a duster. Dean wasn't sure if he was another cosplayer, or just someone who was into really out-of-date fashions.
And then there was some dark-skinned girl with braids and crutches who was just glaring at everybody. Odd.
Dean listened with half an ear as an Edsil employee talked to them about the "Halkeginia" campaign they were going to Beta test. Dean already knew it from the email they had sent. And it wasn't like the scenario mattered that much.
Dean hadn't come here to play games.
For a moment, the lights flickered. No one paid it any mind.
Christine "Drywurx" Drysdale panted with exhaustion and slowly slid to the floor. "Jesus, Tripe," She breathed into her headset. "Could you have cut that any closer?"
"Don't blame me, Dry. Blame their backup protocols." Tap tap clink. "They got the power back up way faster than they should have been. On the plus side, they probably didn't notice anything wrong." Tap tap click. "Besides, you got past the camera alright, didn't you?"
"Yeah, but--" Christine paused. "Tripe, what's that noise?"
"That noise! It sounds like -- Tripe, did you bring your RPGs along with you again?"
"Dammit K, what have I said?"
"I don't know, I wasn't listening."
"Dry? You there?
*Sigh* "I guess there's no helping it. Just don't let anyone see them, okay?"
"...Right." Christine shook her head. "Anyway, Pulse gave DC the Device, so we're green. Make sure you're ready in case something goes wrong."
Christine pulled a small, needle-like device out of her pocket and carefully examined the wall. After a moment, she carefully stuck it into the wall, and twisted the end. She then pushed it in further, twisted the end in the other direction, and waited.
Nothing happened. With a sigh she reversed the process, removing the device from the wall before doing it again a centimeter away.
After about ten more tries, her efforts bore fruit: A tiny bulb on the end of the device blinked twice before winking out. She checked the display on her computer. Jackpot. A few taps of her keyboard, and the cameras could no longer see her.
That done, she made her way to the location that she knew contained the building's main servers.
Christine and her friends had been planning this venture for weeks, for one reason and one reason alone: To gain a foothold against Edsil to take them down. Edsil's "games" killed millions every year. Just because those lives were in other universes -- and, admittedly, could not be directly attributed to Edsil -- didn't make it any less vile. So they had decided to put a stop to it, through any means necessary.
Simply put, they were terrorists. Not that they would call themselves that.
DC had with him a device, cleverly disguised as an Edsil music badge, that would link itself with his clone when the EDSIL unit made the link. From there, it would use that connection -- in theory -- to get Christine access to the Extra Dimensional Navigation Apparatuses in the slipstream. If they could hack one of those and steal it, they would finally be able to take the fight to Edsil.
As the clock ticked, Christine prepared to do her part. When, finally, the link began to engage, she executed a program.
And in the Extra-Dimensional Slipstream, something went very, very, wrong.
The EDNAs were doing their job. In the tumultuous chaos of the slipstream, the Player-clones were merely balls of light, being maneuvered by arcing beams of blue light. However, as they approached the first session they were supposed to go to, one of them jerked. And then again.
As the blue, squid-like capsule spasmed about, its beam struck one of the spheres held by another EDNA. And that one began to flail about as well.
Eventually they stopped, the entanglement too much for the hacker on the other end to adjust for. By then, all of the EDNAs were hopelessly tangled. But they were still trying to execute their programming.
Which was why the first EDNA inserted its player into the appropriate spot. And then pulled all of the other players into the session with it.
I apologize for the lack of detail. This is just a bare-bones sort of thing at the moment. I might edit it later.
And no, I've never played any games in the Star Ocean series.
Too good a chance to pass up, though if I was Louise I would ask about the 'potential' she sees and what exactly does she mean by 'furniture' before signing. But given Louise's deposition I probably would've sign it immediately.
Contract was a bit vague in details though. When does Louise get released from service?
I've never heard of Umineko until now but I hope you chose to continue this.
Well the state of magic in Umineko makes that question... difficult to answer. I suppose term of apprenticeship could be:
-until Beato is killed (basically impossible in the ZnTverse because she breaks almost literally everything) or retires and passes on the title of Beatrice the Golden to her (also probably not going to happen)
-until Louise becomes a witch in her own right (Louise the Void maybe)
Okay... here is the 1st half of the Under the Twin Moons project...
The 2nd Half will be a bit delayed...
(I think this needs a bit help...)
And on the Voidstone thingy... I like it!
BTW, I used a peculiar style here... so please forgive me...
REDACTED: Test purposes only
Hmm... I see a great potential for a realistic ninja familiar - maybe even AU Origin Saito... maybe one of those ninja from the Last Samurai movie, those were badass... even if they lost against Plot Armour.
Throwing knives, parkour, incredible athletics, you name it... and then they get the Gandalfr runes on top of that package... this has promise, I just know it.
For my Saito is a _____ thread on TFF, I gave Saito an old school ninja family background, much to his chagrin.
How about Saito being a student of Raizo from Ninja Assassin?
Damn, now I can't picture Louise as anything other than to be fucking terrified of him after his first real fight.
Would make for a damn fucking funny scene when it's time to meet the family... Eleanore is going to get her ass kicked... and Karin can't help but goggle at her daughter's bruised face, along with Saito's cheerful whistle...
Don't mess with the ninja.
You just wasted time retelling us what we already know, all of that just to get 3 details of the story that we could have got from expository dialog.
*C&C announcer voice* Interest Lost, repairing
PS: I hope this doesn't make it to the final version. It breaks the flow.
That is just my trial version where I'm trying to use a peculiar writing style...
(Apparently it failed.)
Any suggestions? Should I just make a snippet where Henrietta and Saito were reminiscing the events in AU!Halkeginia while they 'Roleplay'?
It is not necessary. Jr. can provide the differences on the setting on his own. leave Saito and Henrietta for later.
like "A talking sword? the Novel never said anything about a talking sword?"
Another detail, the fact that Henrietta is Jr's mother would have worked better as a secret(too late now though).
The scene where princess Henrietta visits Louise would still make him go "Mom? is that you?"
Henrietta "feeling" the void Magic converging on their son seem really out of place as well. If you want to have them talk about something relevant, you could say that soon is going to be the 17th anniversary of that day. The day Saito disappeared for a couple of months. And if you want Henrietta to have a "premonition" the best moment to have it would be the moment Wales is summoned to Halkeginia.
Oh... that means I should get on writing on the main story and not the back story... *headdesk*
Anyways, time to fix up the mess... (and hope it works)
Pretty much, yeah.
But that is what I personally believe is for the best, it would be good to hear what everybody else is thinking. I don't want to steer this into something only I want to read.
Well, in my opinion, Azure, you should mention the backstory before you start with the main story - people aren't going to enjoy the story to it's fullest if there are some pertinent details they're missing, after all.
YMMV, though. You do what you think is best.
EDIT: How about a compromise? Mention the scenes in the backstory containing the pertinent details in italics in the beginning, and use normal fonts to write the main story, which would come after the backstory scene.
I got a small idea.
Have some chapter start with a small excerpt from "Under Two Moons" if the backstory present in it is going to be relevant to the chapter.(if you decide to follow up with that recommendation) [spoiler] It would be funny if "Under Two Moons" actually omits a lot of Louise's initial tsundere bitchiness because the publisher's editor thought it wouldn't make a good story.A tsundere bitchiness that was already watered down due to Henrietta's request.[/spoiler]
[spoiler]"Why are you so mean, what happened to the innocent and cute girl from the book?"[/spoiler]
I know that part of the fandom of Hill of Sword got another "MUST HAVE!!!!" scene of the familiar roughing up Eleanore... but why? What is the point? Or you want the same boring and cliched outcome than in hos?
What is the point?
I only remember HoS doing that, most fanfics usually die before getting to that part.
yeah, I should make a point of just forgetting about those things. I'll feel better in the long run
I think the reason most people have the familiar of their choice beat up Eleanore is because they find her in initial scenes more unlikeable than the starting Louise. I personally find her more annoying than anything but that might be because my own older sister used to act kinda the same.
btw, How is A Summon Gone Wrong going Nervaqus?
@Nervaqus987: She was a sadist with a fondness for whips?
Eh, I'm sort of indifferent to Eleanore but that's because I already have a punching bag in Karin and Wardes. They're convenient targets.
In regards to Summon Goes Wrong(Mahou Gakusei Louise), I've got finals to study for and final projects to do, so I wont be able to start working on it until next Thursday. And provided everything goes as planned, I should have the next part done by Tuesday of the week after, maybe a bit sooner or later.
As for my sister. No whips but she did once hit me so hard she left a perfect imprint of her fingerprints on me. And then things got..........hectic. My sister and me always got a bit over board when we fought.
Separate names with a comma.