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The Nagasaki Heroes (Battle Fantasia Project story)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Thy-Robocop, Oct 26, 2012.

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  1. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

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    (Areal view of a Kyoto. Camera pans down in time to catch a bullet train entering the city)

    (Inside the bullet train, Kasumi is looking outside the window.)

    Yuko(Voiceover): For years, we have fought in the dark...

    (On top of a skyscraper, Strength is shown from behind, looking out towards the city below, wagging her tail.)

    Yuko(Voiceover): For years, we kept a lonely watch against the shadows...

    (A road at twilight, with houses on each side is shown. Dark, spidery like creatures fill the streets and enter the houses. Standing upon a lamppost, Sailor Fear, a young woman in a sailor fuku, black on white with shades of pink in her uniform and in her hair, oversees the invasion of spider creatures, a silver bow with an arrow strung in her hands. The camera zooms on her)

    Yuko(Voiceover): …and for years, the dark has kept us blind to one another.

    (Back inside the train, a newspaper is shown on the table. A big photo of Akiko in Fate's hands, blurred and clearly amateurish, is in the front of the newspaper. A han, goes to rest on Akiko's picture.)

    Yuko(Voiceover): But no more.

    (Camera switches to Kasumi's face, as she raises her eyes to meet the camera)

    Yuko(Voiceover): A light has shone in the dark...

    (On a balcony outside an office complex at night, Sailor Venus, in her Sailor V outfit, is speaking to a small group of Senshi in civilian form, including Haruka, Michiru, Makoto and Hotaru)

    Sailor V: So many girls have suffered, because we've failed to notice them... But I won't let that happen again. Not while I still breath.

    Yuko(Voiceover): ... And it's chosen warriors will answer.

    (Scene change. Inside a Shinto shrine, Shoutan Himei, now a lot older, is talking to a woman dressed in miko garb. Her features are very similar to those of the former Yamiko Queen.)

    Himei: And I thought I had left that life behind...

    Priestess: You can still choose to not follow the call, Himei. But I know you'll not do that.

    Yuko(Voiceover): (Raises her voice): For we are Her Children, Her Family...

    (screen fades to black, and then slowly starts to fade back in. Yuko Caddel, the woman doing the voiceover, fills the screen. She's dressed in her white battle nun outfit, and is shown cocking the rifle in her hands.)

    Yuko: ... And with Her will by Our side, we shall cast a light on this world, and banish it's shadows, once and for allooooooooooooowwwwwwwwww!

    (Yuko steps forward, but disappears off screen. Camera pans out, to reveal that she has fallen to her knees. She puts a hand on her left knee. The room she is in is shown to have hospital beds all around, and a couple spidery creatures can be seen in the background.)

    Yuko: Ach...dammit...

    (Yuko looks up, and camera swings behind her, to show an army of various monsters of different shapes and sizes. Sailors Venus, Saturn, Nothing, Beauty and Truth are been held hostage by the larger monsters, while a woman dressed in an all black business/secretary suit (Natasha) is standing beside them. They are all staring at Yuko, dumbfounded)

    Yuko: (smiling) Sorry about that. Completely forgot I took an arrow to the knee there. May I start over again?

    (Silence from the audience of Sailors)

    Sailor Nothing: What.

    (In another scene, Kasumi is shown talking to the Black Paradox team at Mato's house)

    Kasumi: Yeah... my mentor's like that.

    ON NOVEMBER 2012

    (In a hospital corridor, Sailor Truth and Sailor V are standing back to back.)

    Sailor Truth: So, the famous idol Mina is also the warrior of justice Sailor V. Mind giving me an exclusive interview for the press?

    (The corridor is revealed to be full of monsters.)

    Sailor V: You call this a good time for an interview?

    SOMEWHERE NEAR THE CENTRE OF THE UNIVERSE

    (In a park in the afternoon, Sailor Fear is confronting Kasumi in her Comet outfit, and Black Gold Saw)

    Sailor Fear: You don’t know anything about the true meaning of love!

    (Kasumi and BGS exchange glances, and then turn back towards Sailor Fear)

    Kasumi: (pointing at Black Gold Saw) Well, she’s a demon from Hell, what did you expect? (BGS glares at her)

    BEFRIENDING

    (Strength is facing Kasumi, arms wide open, as if to hug her. Kasumi is backing away)

    Kasumi: Wait, nonononono...

    (Strength hugs Kasumi with her Ogre Arms)

    HAS JUST GONE

    Priestess: I shall quiet them.

    (The priestess from earlier whacks her gohei to the ground, sending an energy shockwave across the shrine, getting rid of the spider monsters, while Sailor Nothing holds her ground, embracing her daughter as tight as she can)

    UP TO ELEVEN

    (A human which looks like a Sailor warrior, all covered in black, throws a punch at Kasumi. Kasumi blocks it with one hand, and transforms into her Dreamy Meteorite form, which makes her costume whiter, and gives her mouse ears and a tail. Then, she retaliates with an uppercut that sends the "Dark Sailor" flying).

    (Shoutan Himei and Yuko are chatting away in the hospitlt, Yuko sitting upright in a bed while Himei is sitting at a chair next to her)

    Himei: And does the Bible say anything about these forces of evil can’t be redeemed?

    Yuko: (smiling) Sure. For those cases, I always refer to Ezekiel, 25:17.

    (Back to the darkened hospital room where Yuko is surrounded by monsters. The monsters attack the injured Yuko, who stands up, and fires a shot at the closest monster. It knocks the monster back, pulsates for a while above him, and then explodes, taking down the other monsters in the charge. All done in glorious slo-mo)

    BATTLE FANTASIA: UNITY

    THE NAGASAKI HEROES

    (Scene changes to Kasumi talking with Strength in a room)

    Kasumi: Strength, did you really have to be that heavy-handed?

    (Strength is standing on some train tracks, and a bullet train is shown approaching her. Before it impacts Strength, the latter punches the train, crumpling the front end, and massively derailing the rest of the train. All done in glorious slow motion.)

    (Back in the room, Strength turns towards Kasumi. Kasumi gives Stength a proper look)

    Kasumi: ...you know what? Forget I asked.

    COMING SOON TO SPACEBATTLES AND DEVIANTART. NANOWRIMO 2012
    ----

    So yeah, after months of silence, the Battle Fantasia Project is ready to make a comeback!

    Well, technically speaking, this is just my side of the arc 1 story, which I have never written before now, so this is all new stuff from the project’s perspective. But yeah, I’m hoping that this project of mine will rekindle interest in the Project itself, and perhaps even get arc 1, which we were working on all this time, finished. If not, then I hope that it does inspire other fellow SpaceBattlers to come up with their own versions of magical girl megacrossovers! XD

    I'll be working on this story as my NaNoWriMo project this year, and I will be posting my progress here and on my DeviantArt account. I'll only be posting complete scenes or chapters as I finish them, and when real life permits me to do so, so don't worry if It seems i won't meet my word targed on a particular day. Also, a word of warning: as this will be a NaNo first draft, expect out of character moments and grammar being thrown out of the window in favour of increasing the wordcount. Please ignore them for the time being, as I'll be hunting them down when I revisit the draft, but if you want to point out stuff out, that will really help me out when I revisit the draft once it's finished. And of course, if and when we get round to fitting stuff together in the main storyline, some scenes will be changed or dropped in the final draft, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

    Speaking of OOC moments... There are still a couple of things about the Sailor Nothing crew's backstory and personality post-timeskip that I still need to figure out. If anyone can give me any useful advice on the matter, that will be very much appreciated. I'll be checking my PMs often, and I'll be in the Battle Fantasia chat and sometimes in the Creative Writers chat every now and again, mostly during the evening (in Great Britain, that is). You can find the chat details for the Battle Fantasia chat here:

    Finally, please use this thread only for discussion for this story. For ideas and discussion on the general project, there's still the Battle Fantasia 13 thread in the Index section (though it might be best to start a new one anyway, given how long it's been inactive for)

    Expect the first chapter to be coming out the first of November. And I hope you enjoy the story!



    Cheers!
     
    Troll_Wandering and ckk185 like this.
  2. ckk185

    ckk185 Solidarity

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    AMERICA! FUCK YEA!

    Wait, no wrong choice of words, but I am stoked to see that the project hasn't died yet.
     
  3. kilopi505

    kilopi505

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    HALLELUJAH!
     
  4. Filraen

    Filraen Big Damn Lurker

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  5. Barricade

    Barricade A Perfectly Elegant ZA WARUDO!

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    As long as a certain beloved (combat pragmatist) wobbie still jumps off the Tokyo Tower to start the ball rolling.....
     
  6. KageX

    KageX

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    This just made my day. Thank you very much Thy-Robocop. I am looking forward to seeing where this goes, and hoping that this will reinvigorate the project.
     
    marcoasalazarm likes this.
  7. Darth Artemis

    Darth Artemis The Villain in Glasses

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    I'll believe it when I see more than a cheesy trailer with a scene ripped off of Hancock in it.

    Yes, please by all means use the old discussion thread, lord knows the actual project members are too busy dicking around in IRC to ever use it for anything. Assuming that they're even doing that anymore.
     
  8. Barricade

    Barricade A Perfectly Elegant ZA WARUDO!

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    Darth, give the guy some credit, he's at least trying. Let him post at least 2-3 chapters, completed chapters, first. Then you can rip into him in your classic manner, if it still sucks at that point. Until then, could you at least try to keep the snarking/cutting sarcasm to a minimum?
     
  9. K9Thefirst1

    K9Thefirst1

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    ...You know, I was pondering about the status of the project just in the past few days.

    Nice trailer by the way, all that was missing was the Inception music. ^_^

    Anyway, should you pull this off... I know that you get the option of getting up to five bound copies of your novel...

    Should you succeed.... May I have a copy? I can PM you the address when everything is good and ready.
     
  10. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

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  11. Avalanche

    Avalanche Atypical Netizen

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    Okay, quick and probably stupid question, you're not planning to write the rest of your story in the same style with the script style narration are you?
     
  12. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

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    Nope. That was just for the trailer. Main story will be in plain old third person prose.
     
  13. MWKillKenny84

    MWKillKenny84

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    *read the trailer*
    IT LIVEEEEESSSSS!!!!
     
  14. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

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    I wasn't even aware that you would get five bound copies, I was only aware of the discounts on Scrivaneer and on the service that does the bound copies. But if that's the case, then sure, I'll send you one. It will take a while to make it good and ready, though...
     
  15. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

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    Right guys! Start gathering your pop-corn, coke, biscuits, tea...whatever food and drink you prefer, whether you're a writer or just a spectator, because NaNoWriMo! BEGINS! TOMORROW!

    Just a few things before I start:

    -I'll be posting a chapter or scene in here from the draft only once I have finished the chapter or scene that I'm writing. I'd also like to remind you that since my aim for the challenge is to reach the 50000 words target, what you will be seeing is writing which hasn't been beta'd, or even alpha'd, before submission. This is a first draft in it's most purest form. As such, there will be spelling and grammar mistakes, bad writing and other such things cropping up here and there. Please bare with me, I'll fix the whole lot when I start editing in December. If you can give me some pointers as to what needs to be fixed, that would be much appreciated

    -Also, this is the first time I will be writing any of the characters, I use here, so I apologize if their characterization seems a little bit off, especially from the series Magical Girls. Again, if you let me know how to fix those issues, I'll try to include them in later chapters as I'm writing, and again, edit the previous ones once December comes.
    -Depending on how my wordcount is doing for the day, I may be hanging around the Battle Fantasia chat during the evening (around 10pm till 12am in the UK), so if anyone wants to come and have a chat, then do come along. Please do ping me if I'm around, as I'm not guaranteed to be at the computer when you come in, though I'll probably be close by to hear it. And who knows, perhaps you might get the chance to see a sneak preview of the chapter I'm working on!

    -And finally, you might want to check out my NaNoWriMo profile every now and again, as I'll be updating my word count every day.

    Right, I think that's all I need to say for now. Wish me luck, and Happy Halloween!


    Nanonanonanonanonanonanonanonano....
     
  16. shanejayell

    shanejayell Rebel without a Pause

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    Well, not bad....
     
  17. Barricade

    Barricade A Perfectly Elegant ZA WARUDO!

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    If you're going to post chapters, post.
    Don't talk.
     
  18. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

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    Ok guys, here goes!

    Nanonanonanonanonanonanonanonano CHAPTER!

    **##**

    Chapter 0: Prologue

    "Are you sure you can do this, girls?"

    "Don't start having doubts now, Kasumi, or we're going to start this conversation all over again. And you know what I think about it, you won't get my approval a second time."

    "Don't be so harsh, Rika-chan. Kasumi knows what she is doing, and Orphious will guide her. Besides, it's the Lord's will that she goes and helps her friend."

    "Thanks, Chiasa. But it's the first time you will be operating without me to help. And with Yuko-Sensei in hospital..."

    Chiasa took Kasumi's hand in hers. "Your friend is in worse danger than us. And this place has been quiet lately, your time would be wasted here. Trust us, if anything comes up, we'll be able to handle it."

    ...

    Chiasa ran towards the fallen tree, vaulted over it, and used it as a springboard for a magic powered jump, allowing her to grab hold of the nearest tree. Without stopping to think, or to look back, she aimed for the next jump, pale blue light covering her feet as she powered her jump towards the tree, and then to the next, bouncing from tree to tree until her powers couldn't sustain her any more. She allowed herself to drop to the ground, rolling to absorb the fall, and kept on running. Broken branches were poking painfully at her bare feet and legs, but she willed herself to ignore it. Her magic would heal the damage eventually if she ignored it.

    She knew where she was going, or at least she thought she did. She had been in the same forest a couple of times with her friends, as part of Yuko-sensei's "training trips", so she knew a few of the locations of the forest to orient herself. She just needed some time to actually locate where she was, and that was hard to do at the moment.

    To add insult to injury, that was the same forest where Yuko-sensei had told her the one secret of magic. "Remember, Chiasa-chan" she had said "The more you are tied to magic, the more you are tied to forces such as fate and karma. And they like to play a practical joke on you if you tempt them. So if you ever find yourself in an occasion where you think things can't possibly get worse, don't say it out loud, or the magic will make it real."

    How she wished she had remembered that when the team had said goodbye to Kasumi that morning.

    A dark arrow flew past her, and embedded itself in the tree in front of her. Chiasa stopped, and looked back, thanking the Lord for the near miss. But not for the view she had just seen.

    In the forest, she could see dark figures approaching, jumping from tree to tree, gaining speed. Some of them looked like giant spiders, with long legs and red eyes, while others looked more like giant gorillas, with sharp flaming claws, ice spike on their back and bat-like wings. They had been Chiasa's enemies just a few years ago, and she had defeated them all with her friends, and yet here they were again, allies to other strange enemies, hunting her down once more.

    And standing on top of the trunk of a dead tree, the leader of this hunting expedition, a girl dressed in a sailor suit, a bow in her hands with an arrow strung to it, ready to fire.

    Chiasa had barely enough time to see the whole of this before the sailor girl shot her arrows. She jumped to the side, and the arrow broke once more into the tree behind her. Then, gathering magic into her feet once more, she turned around, and resumed her run, barely missing another arrow heading towards her.

    Her mind turned onto automatic, navigating the forest as only an expert traceuse could do, she thought of her friends, left behind at the viewing point where they had started their patrol. What was the enemy doing to them? Torturing them, killing them, or worse, taking them back to the dark side, as their previous enemies had done before? And with that, she thought on how they got there. How could they have not noticed the enemy in hiding, after all of Yuko-sensei's training? And how long were they waiting for them?

    So lost was she in her thoughts, that she did not notice herself stepping into the clearing until the sun shone on her eyes. But when she did, she realized that she was not alone. There were two monsters waiting for her, gorilla shaped, their flaming hands and their icy spikes on their backs ready to attack.

    Chiasa use to be scared of these creatures, the elite creatures that caused her to retreat more than once in the face of danger. But now she had Yuko-sensei's training, Kasumi's words of comfort, and The Lord by her side, she knew exactly what to do.

    She charged at the first of the creatures, powering herself up as she was doing so. The creature also charged at the girl, and got close enough to her to throw a swing at her. The swing was dead on, and would have hit Chiasa, had she not teleported close to the monster. She pushed at him with hands pulsating with burning white light, making him stagger backwards, a dark mist pouring out of it's back. As he regained his balance, Chiasa followed with a flying kick to it's face, and then blasted him with a burst of light, knocking it in the air. And before it could touch the ground, Chiasa jumped up high, somersaulted, and landed with both hands and feet on it, delivering a final burst of light to it, shattering the creature to pieces as she performed a backwards flip and landed to the ground.

    By then, the second creature had approached the girl, bringing down it's two flaming hands in downwards smash to the girl. Chiasa sensed it's approach, however, and teleported barely out of the way of the smash. She then vaulted over its fists, and with a charged leap, struck the monster in it's chin. Using its arms to aid her, she climbed on top of its head, and was about to deliver another light powered strike to the creature, when an arrow caught her in the chest and sent her flying to the ground.

    She barely registered the pain from the fall before a wave of fear and helplessness swept over her. Images of her friends being captured and tortured appeared in front of her, their screams ringing in her ears. And then suddenly, they were there, looking down on her, their faces distorted into masks of pure maliciousness, their burning red eyes sending chills down their spine.

    "See what happens when you fight for a childish cause like that?" Said Izumi, with a mouth full of teeth that would not have looked out of place on a shark. "Your fight is futile, and it only ends up with you dead."

    "Come with us." Said a face with burning hair which she could barely recognise as Rika. "Come with us, and every problem you have will disappear. Fight us, and your death will be swift, and final."

    "Yes, Chiasa-san." Chimed in Kaori, her face made entirely of black smoke. "Join us, and you won't get hurt..."

    Chiasa did not dare reply to them. She had a feeling that it would make things worse if she did. Instead, she poured her magical energy into her body, repeating to herself "Lead me not into temptation, my Lord, and let your guiding light deliver me from evil...." Over and over, until finally, the visions cleared enough to see the arrow protruding from her chest. She grabbed hold of it with both hands, and with a burst of light, she pulled it out, and threw it away.

    Instantly, the visions and the pain disappeared. A quick look down at where the arrow had been showed her that there was no blood or any kind of wound. The arrow had just been a magical one, aimed to channeling the nightmarish illusions straight into her heart. Had it been otherwise, she doubted she would have survived.

    This was of small comfort for her, for she realized that she had been surrounded by the creatures who had caught up with her. Worse, the archer in a sailor suit had joined up. Her outfit was deliberately monochrome, her while leotard matched with a black skirt, gloves and high heeled shoes, as well as her long, wavy black hair. The only color on her was the flesh of her skin, and sprays of pink lining in her clothes and of pink dye in her hair, which made her look a bit odd, but still menacing enough. Her silver bow was resting to her side in her left hand, and she carried an arrow in the other.

    "Is this how you treat the ones you love, bitch?" The young woman spat out with rage, as if Chiasa had committed an offense to her, rather than the other way around. "You reject them and leave them to die, after all they have done for you?"

    "What in hell's name are you talking about?"

    "They gave you everything." Replied the woman, "They helped you face your fears, and everything of themselves they could, just so that you would form a bond with them. And what do you do? You throw all that love away for your own gain. And you'll give your love to those who don't deserve it." She spat to the ground. "You disgust me, you traitorous whore."

    "Wha... What the hell? I didn't abandon my friends, you forced me to! Who are you to say anything about love?"

    The woman replied by stringing an arrow in her bow, and pointing it at Chiasa. "How dare you! You, who don't know anything about love!”

    "I know that you are wrong. The Lord forgave his killers and and saved us all from evil, and my friends will forgive me for what I am incapable to do. Because he taught us that love is forgiveness! Who do you think you are to subvert his teachings like that!"

    "And what does an old man in the sky know about love? He’s dead! And you should die too! "

    "Then kill me. What are you waiting for? I'm right here, at your mercy!" Replied Chiasa, spreading her arms to make herself as clear a target as possible.

    For a moment, it looked like the sailor girl would follow through. Instead, she said: "If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have hesitated. But there are others who think you can be redeemed. And for now, I'll let them try, but I'll be there when they fail. Take her!"

    And with that, three of the gorilla creatures stepped towards Chiasa, ready to pounce her as soon as they got close. Chiasa could easily defeat them, but with her being surrounded, and the sailor archer keeping her in her sights, the fight would not end well. There was only one thing that could turn the tides of battle.

    "Lord, please, give me strength..." She muttered under her breath, then sprang into action.

    The gorilla saw her moving towards it, and moved to intercept the girl, ready to grab her. But Chiasa was expecting that to happen. At the last moment, she jumped high above the creature, avoiding it's attack, but more importantly, giving the girl a clear view of the archer. Her enemy had noticed what she was doing, and strung her arrow to counterattack. But before she could do so, Chiasa released all the energy she had built up within herself into a ray of light that completely engulfed the sailor.

    Chiasa landed with a forward roll, and rapidly closed the distance between herself and her opponent. The blinding light, while very effective against creatures of the dark, rarely had any effect on humans who had been corrupted, other than blinding them. She jumped in between a bout of dark mist, saw her enemy covering her eyes, and immediately threw a powered punch at her.

    To her surprise, however, the sailor grabbed her punch, and with a twist of her body, sent her flying right behind her. Too late Chiasa had realized that the girl had not been blinded as intended. One of the creatures must have blocked the attack and shielded the Sailor's eyes in time, allowing her to counterattack. With a couple of handstands, Chiasa got herself back up on her feet, ready to attack again...when another arrow, completely covered in black, struck her once again in the chest.

    This time, Chiasa felt an icy-cold sensation sweep over her body. She fell to her knees, and realized with horror that she could not move... No, that she was too afraid to move, to afraid to think, too afraid to do anything except stare at the grotesque spectre in a sailor outfit that was slowly walking towards her.

    "You ungrateful whore..." said the creature, raising one giant claw towards her. "I’m going to teach you what love really is!"

    Chiasa screamed at the horror that approached her. Then everything went black.

    **##**
     
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  19. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

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    Wait...what's this? Another chapter? Someone must have been really productive these days!

    **##**

    Chapter 1: Trainjack

    The freight train slowly exited the freight station, and started picking up speed, heading out in the direction of Kyoto station, where it would then proceed onwards to Tokyo.

    To anyone looking at the train, it would have looked like any other freight train that left the station on a daily basis, and people would wonder at what its containers would hold, and where it was heading at. They would have been completely unaware that this particular train was carrying a cargo that would increase the number of nightmares in a certain area of Tokyo, and perhaps get its owners one step closer towards their goal of finding the magical girl that had jumped from the building a week ago.

    There was one girl who was aware of it’s true nature, though. And she intended to do something about it.

    From up on the roof of an office building, a few blocks away from the station, a girl had been keeping a silent vigil over the place, watching as pale looking workers dressed in black loaded up the cargo into their containers, ready to be shipped. The metal crates they were handling looked pretty harmless, but the girl could see the effect it had on the workers. Or rather, their Otherselves.

    And she was starting to get impatient with her own Other.

    “Strength...I wanna have some fun. Why don’t we just rush in?”

    “Patience, Yuu.” Replied her Otherself from inside her mind. “If we rush in, we’ll have to face the whole lot of them. Remember what they did to Mato, and to Mayu. Besides, I have a better idea.”

    Strength was rather relieved that her Realself had accepted the idea. She knew how Yuu would act if left out of control, and she knew what Mato and the others would do if she got harmed. It hadn’t been easy at times to keep them from knowing that genki Yuu and stoic Strength would sometime regain their personalities from before, and she definitely didn’t want them to know now, not after Akiko had attempted to kill herself, and old Yuu had come back with a vengeance.

    But still, she could feel that her Realself was getting restless inside the Otherself body she had lent to the girl for the mission Mato had sent them on. She had been entertaining herself by striking some sort of action figure poses, somehow managing to not fall over despite the weight of her Ogre arms, though she did often cheat and use her tail to balance herself. But now she was pacing around, banging the arms to the floor (which miraculously didn’t damage itself, a side benefit of her power to strengthen her surroundings.). She hoped that the train would finally get a move on, and leave the station.

    Her wish was granted a few minutes later, and now they were watching the train passing close by the office building.

    “Alright, Yuu. It’s showtime.”

    The girl with the giant arms rushed towards the edge of the building, and jumped towards the buildings below, forming a crater. From there, she broke into a run, jumping from building to building, picking up speed until she could almost match the speed of the train, all the while moving closer to the track, aiming for a point where the train was going to curve towards the city. She reached it just as the first few containers had passed by, jumped off the building, and landed on the train.

    Unfortunately, she hasn't matched the speed of the train well, and lost her footing as she landed. She had landed too close on the edge, and would have almost fallen off, but she managed to dig her tail into the container, and grab the edge with her hands.

    "That was close." Said Yuu. "And it feels good too! We should do this more often, Strength!"

    Strength couldn't help but agree. "Yeah... But don't forget what we are here for. Let's get back up, we don’t want to be hitting any...!"

    As luck would have it, a pole carrying the electric wires suddenly appeared in their field of vision. Yuu had barely enough time to register the fact when her Other went quiet all of a sudden, but she still managed to flatten herself against the container in time, and pass by unharmed. Not that she would have been harmed much by the impact in her Otherself's body, but she may have been thrown off the train, and she didn't want to waste more time trying to get back on. Quickly, she and her Otherself's heaved themselves back up on the train.

    "Ok. Now what do we do?"

    "Simple. We drag the train into the Otherworld, and deal with the Nightmare creatures there."

    "Then what are we waiting for?"

    "I'm not as good as portals as Lil' Devil-Chan." Admitted Strength. "We need to stop the train. And I know just the trick for that..."

    **##**

    Elsewhere, on another train, another girl was getting impatient.

    "What's taking it so long? I though we were supposed to be leaving by now."

    "There's been a problem further up the railway, one of the engines of the train in front of us has broken down. They're fixing it right now."

    "Huh?" Asked Kasumi, looking down at where Orphious was, as the small white mouse turned the page of the newspaper she was reading. Kasumi helped her out with it. "And when was that announced?"

    "A few minutes ago. While you still had your headphones on." The white mouse turned towards the young girl. "See, this is why I dislike those things. You should be constantly aware of your surroundings, eyes and ears open to potential danger..."

    "We're in a train, Orphious. Why would the enemy want to attack us inside here?"

    "These confined spaces can give an enemy a tactical advantage over you if used correctly. And besides, you're pretty vulnerable to external attack..."

    Kasumi would have normally continued the discussion, but right now, she didn't feel in the mood to start an argument. Not that she would have attracted attention, despite holding a conversation with a white mouse in the middle of the train: Orphious could make herself invisible to those who didn't know about magic. But still, she knew where the conversation would go, and she was not in the mood to continue it. "Yeah, whatever..." She said, and stared out of the window.

    Orphious was quick to catch on. "Thinking about Akiko?"

    "Geez, Orphious, I wonder how you managed to guess that." Answered Kasumi.

    Orphious was about to answer the question, reconsidered, and jumped on the windowsill. "I'm sure Akiko will be fine. The girls who have saved her look like they're on our side, and I'm sure they will have help too."

    "Yeah, I guess. Even so... She was suffering even back then, and I didn't do anything to help her, and because of this, she suffered even more, and almost killed herself. I can't let this go until I've said sorry to her, and until I've defeated those who made her do that. You do understand that, right?"

    "Yes, I do. I feel the same thing for Damarri. I still maintain that our help now will be rather limited, and we could have used our resources better, to help those girls that could be close to us."

    "I'm sure Chiasa and the others will do fine for now. Still, do you think we'll be able to find her today?"

    "That's unlikely at this point. Even without this delay, we still need to settle ourselves in the hotel. And I'm not going to let you skip sleep in order to find her, I need you as alert as you possibly..."

    Kasumi looked down at the mouse, wondering why she had stopped talking, and saw that her ears were upright. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asked, but then she started to hear it too. It sounded a lot like the sound of screeching brakes.

    She looked out of the window to her right, and soon saw a freight train approaching two railways from hers, stopping to a complete halt just as it passed her window. From the sound of it, it looked like someone had pulled the emergency brakes. It couldn't have been otherwise, for the railway was not next to the platform.

    She was about to dismiss the whole incident, when suddenly Orphious said: "Over there!". She turned, and saw a white haired girl in a black hoodie, with huge metal-looking arms and a scorpion tail coming out of her back, running towards the front of the train. When she reached it, the girl stopped, and then dug her hands into the roof and lifted it up, before disappearing down the hole she created.

    "Orphious?"

    The mouse sighed. "Just remember to grab your rucksack, and hope this train doesn't move in the meantime."

    And that was when they saw a man dressed as a train conductor being thrown out of the hole from the train.

    **##**

    "You. Out." said Strength, pointing towards the exit. The other two drivers in the locomotive complied.

    "Was that really necessary, Yuu?" she then asked her Realself.

    "That was one of those nightmare creatures." Explained Yuu. "Didn't want him to attack us while we were moving this train. Besides, it got the others out, didn't it?"

    "Mato would not have approved." Replied Strength, flexing her Ogre Arms. "Right, let's get this over with."

    She climbed out of the locomotive, and then, once she was topside, she conjured up flames that quickly surrounded the train and its nightmarish cargo, completely preventing them from escape. She was aware of the screams of the other people from the platforms, and she knew Mato and the others were going to call her out on it later on. It was unfortunate that the train had stopped right in the middle of Kyoto's station, but now that she'd done it, there was the risk of the nightmare creatures reawakening, and she had to dispose of them completely.

    Once the train was completely engulfed in flames, Strength yanked at the enclosed area, and there were transported into the giant desert that formed their realm in the Otherworld.

    "All right, Yuu, they're all yours. But be careful of their illusions."

    "Will do." Said Yuu, as they switched control over the Otherself's body, and they started walking towards the containers.

    "Wait a second."

    "What is it, Strength?" asked Yuu, annoyed at the interruption.

    There was a pause, and then Strength said. "Someone has followed us in the Otherworld."

    "Huh?"

    "Behind you!"

    Yuu turned on the spot, wondering who had followed them, only to be met by a fist aimed squarely at her face. Another one followed soon after, and then another, and another. Had they been in Yuu's Realself body, she would have surely been knocked out by those powerful punches. Strength's body, however, was much more resilient to such punches, and did not lose awareness, despite feeling the pain from each punch. She was aware enough to notice that the attacker was preparing to deliver a kick, and jumped away to the other side of the container before the kick could connect.

    Having gained enough distance between herself and her attacker, she looked up, and prepared herself for any further attacks.

    "…huh?"

    Standing on the other side of the train, her arms up in a defensive stance, was a girl who looked slightly older than Yuu. Her hair was short and orange, with two locks of white hair forming what looked like small horns. She wore a white leotard under a red skirt, and a red midriff top with orange shoulderpads, and her arms were covered in elbow-length white gloves.

    Yuu had never really met another magical girl in person, but she remembered from the few episodes of Sailor V and the images that Naoko had shown her about magical girls their tendency towards ridiculous costumes (though she couldn't say that the Otherselves' outfits weren't totally decent either), and knew somehow that the girl standing on the other side of the container was the real deal. And apparently, she was not exactly happy to see them.

    "Hey, ugly!" She shouted, adjusting her boxing stance. "Why don't you take on someone your own size?"

    None of the girls moved in response to that threat, and each studied the other, ready to react when one of them made her move.

    "I think we should talk to her," said Strength to Yuu after a while. "She might be on our side. And her outfit looks rather familiar too... In fact, I think it might be similar to Akiko's, so perhaps she would...Yuu?"

    Her Realself did not respond, and didn't look like she had heard anything of what she said. Strength tried to call out again, but now she realized that there was something that was distracting Yuu, something that was related to the magical girl.

    Before Strength could probe any further, she saw Yuu slam her Ogre arms into each other, and crack her neck, before matching the defensive stance of the newcomer.

    "...You're kidding me, right?" The newcomer said, taking a couple of steps back.

    "Yuu, listen to me. That girl is not an Other. I'm not sure she can withstand out attacks like the others. Please, let's change back before..."

    Yuu ignored her Otherself's words, and jumped back towards the magical girl, swinging down her fists.

    **##**
     
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  20. Thy-Robocop

    Thy-Robocop Fairy Chess Player

    Joined:
    May 14, 2011
    Messages:
    394
    **##**

    Kasumi rolled forward at the last possible instant, dodging the black-clad girl's attack. She immediately regained her footing, just in time to dodge away from a swing from the girl's tail, followed by swing from the right as her opponent turned around, which easily missed her.

    The girl with the giant arms then charged forward, swinging her fists at her. Kasumi's training kicked in, and she easily dodged the attacks, waiting for an opening. It came earlier than she expected, as her opponent threw a punch straight at her, leaving her right side completely open. She sidestepped up close, her magic boosting her speed, and landed a few more punches on the girl before an attack from the tail forced her to back away, straight into the girl's swing. She managed to block the attack with her shields, but she still felt the impact of it.

    There were two things she was certain of now. On the up-side, her opponent didn't know how to boxe well, if at all. She could easily see her attacks coming before the girl even threw them at her, and Kasumi had done enough kick-boxing training to know how to react to them. The only thing she had to look out for was the tail, but otherwise, Kasumi was pretty sure that in a fair fight, she could easily win this match.

    Unfortunately, her opponent wasn't reacting to any of her attacks at all. Kasumi wasn't using any of her magical attacks, but she was pretty sure that her attacks would have knocked out and maybe even broken some bones if she'd tried it on any other girl, or any of the monsters she had faced in her career as a magical girl, even ones that were twice as big as her opponent. Punching this girl, however, felt pretty much like punching a concrete wall. A wall which could punch straight back at her, and which had a tail that had come straight out of one of those Alien movies, but a concrete wall none the less. And judging by the impact of the girl's fists on her shields, she figured that she would not like to be at the wrong end of a straight punch from the girl.

    She was going to have to resort to more heavy handed measures.

    Blocking another swing from the girl with the metal arms, Kasumi resumed her attack. Both girls traded blows, neither gaining the advantage, until Kasumi, with a faint, opened the girl's guard for an attack. She landed a couple more blows before the tail attempted to strike her again. This time, she was expecting the attack, and dodged it, raising her foot...

    "Comet...strike!"

    And landing a kick straight at her opponent's chest.

    Then their magic followed suit, adding extra momentum to the kick that sent the other girl flying.

    Had she delivered that attack on any other mook, she would have completely broken the other guy's rib cage, and sent him flying a good twenty meters away. Kasumi was fairly sure that she had broken something with her latest attack, which was expected. She did not expect her opponent to remain standing, the attack having merely pushed her back by half a meter. Which was why she was rather unprepared when the girl struck back, barely managing to pump magic into her outfit to resist the open palm attack that sent her flying over the edge of the train.

    Fortunately for her, the landing was rather soft. As she stood up, she realized that she had landed in sand.

    "Sand? What the..."

    "I think she has transported us somewhere else." Chimed in Orphious, speaking from her right glove. "It must have been when she covered the train in fire. Be careful, Comet-chan: she may have some tricks hidden here, if she was planning to do this all along."

    "Great, so now the whole world is my enemy. Fun times."

    Kasumi was aching all over, but she still managed to stand up. She looked at the train and ... She thoughs she saw it covered in black spidery creature, but then she blinked, and the shadows were gone.

    "There's something wrong here, Comet-chan..." Orphious began to say, but then they both realized that the container was tilting towards her. Kasumi lept backwards, avoiding the falling container.

    Looking back up, she saw the girl with the metal arms jumping over the container, heading straight towards her. Kasumi rolled towards the side, avoiding the attack, and got back up just in time to meet the girl's charge.

    Again, Kasumi used her skills to her advantage to avoid the girl's attacks, and counter. This time, she tried delivering her punches to the girl's chest, hoping that the broken bones inside would take their tall. But again, her punches seemed to have little effect on the girl. Switching tactics, she allowed her opponent to put her against the train carriage, baiting her opponent into attacking her. The girl fell for it, and landed a punch that heavily dented the steel container, but completely missed Kasumi. She followed up with another punch, trapping Kasumi between her two fists, and she readied her tail for another strike. Kasumi responded by charging straight into the girl, pushing her backwards, and making her trip. Then, climbing over her, she yelled "Comet Strike!", and delivered another powered strike as she jumped off her opponent, slamming here to the ground. She sumersaulted in the air, and landed with a roll, hoping that the attack had some effect. But when she turned round, the girl with the metal arms was already getting back up.

    "The hell? How can she be still standing?" She asked, as the girl turned round to face her.

    And then suddenly, they weren't alone anymore.

    "Orphious...are those...?"

    The girl with the metal arms was surrounded by a dozen humanoid-looking creatures, with leathery wings attached to their arms, claws at the tip of their fingers, and deadly looking beaks.

    "I though we had taken down all of those when we helped Chiasa-chan out! How come there are still some more left?"

    "...I don't know, Kasumi. I honestly don't know."

    Then the girl raised one of the metal arms; pointing a figer towards Kasumi. The monsters screeched in unison.

    "Guess I have to deal with them too, huh? Well then..." Kasumi said, focusing her powers into her feet.

    "Comet's tail!" She shouted, and charged at the oncoming flying monsters.

    **##**

    It was the Nightmare creature's work.

    It became clear to Strength as soon as the human looking figures appeared in the desert. There were many kinds of them, but Strength could recognise schoolgirls, girls in swimsuits, men and women that looked very similar to Yuu's true mother and father, and what looked like unformed Otherselves amongst them. And every one of them had a darkened face and a slasher smile on it, seemingly laughing at the Black Paradox.

    Strength figured that they must have woken up the cargo of nightmare creatures while Yuu was fighting the magical girl (she thought she heard the name Comet somewhere... was that the girl's name?). It must have been the reason why Yuu would't listen to her beforehand, come to think of it. If they were active then, they must have influenced her somewhat into attacking. Strength went back to that barrier that prevented her from speaking to Yuu earlier, and this time, upon listening closely, she could hear the sound of laughter, seemingly coming from the creatures straight into her Realself's mind. How could she not have noticed that? And more importantly, what were they aiming to do?

    "...shut up." She heard Yuu say.

    "Yuu, don't listen to them!" Strength tried to warn her. "They're the enemy! They're messing your..."

    "SHUT UP!" Shouted Yuu in her Otherself's voice, launching herself into the nearest creature. She threw a punch at him, but it went through thin air, as the illusion dissolved around her, reforming somewhere else. Yuu didn't notice that, and took a swipe at another, only for the same thing to happen, again and again. Enraged, she extended her arms, and activated the Gatling guns, showering them all with bullets.

    "Don't do that, Yuu, you'll risk hitting...!" said Strength, but she managed to see a bubble of light amongst the illusion, confirming that the magical girl was safe. She didn't notice what she had been doing, but she supposed that the illusions were hitting her too.

    She remembered what Mato had said, about the nightmare creatures taking the form of one's fear, or something connected to it. But the way Mato described it, it seemed that they were rather disorganised. Here they looked as if they were well coordinated, which meant that there was someone pulling the strings there. If she could find the source, then perhaps she could try and block it out, switch with her Realself to take it out before the nightmares could look at her own fears. But just before she could do so, Yuu had stopped firing her cannons... and was looking down at Insane Black Rock Shooter.

    Or rather, the illusion of Insane Black Rock Shooter. Strength was pretty sure that her Mato and Rock hasn't suffered any mental traumas in the past few days (save for Akiko's jump, which they had taken surprisingly well) and more importantly, were not there in the first place. She was pretty sure that there had been someone else where she was standing however...

    Strength's warning fell on deaf ears as she charged at the illusory Otherself, and hit her straight in the chest. The illusion flickered for a moment, and instead of the other, Strength saw the girl Comet, eyes wide open in surprise, before she was sent flying, hitting the steel container with such force as to leave a human sized dent in it.

    **##**

    "Kasumi! Are you OK?"

    Kasumi was anything but OK. That punch had come out of nowhere, just as those energy attacks which looked a lot like bullets coming from the winged creatures. And now she was laying on the sand, her body aching all over, trying to regain her breath. She was still alive, at least. Her magic was doing its best to heal her up, and she was pretty sure that she hadn't broken anything. But she knew she wasn't going to like to when she woke up the next morning. If she was going to wake up at all, that is.

    "Do you like my new creature, my dear Comet?" came a calm, mellow voice from besides her.

    Kasumi's head snapped up at the voice, but she did it too fast, and she winced in pain. When she finally looked up, she saw a tall man in a grey cloak, with wavy grey hair, carrying a spear in his hand. A man she knew was supposed to be dead, given that she'd killed him in the first place, when the guy had injured Orphious

    "What...the hell? Aren't you supposed to be...?"

    "I see she has already made a good first impression on you. Excellent! You have no idea what I had to go through to come up with her, how much I had to be... Creative, to create the one that could finally defeat the great Nagasaki Heroes. Terrible name for your group, if I might add."

    Kasumi stood up, and looked at the girl with the metal arms, who was slowly coming towards her. "You...made her?"

    "But of course. And now that she's proven her worthiness, I shall let her finish off the job. Starting with your ugly little pet. And then we'll get rid of that girl of light that keeps meddling with our affairs. And to finish off...we'll take out your mentor before she can even see it coming!"

    Kill Yuko-sensei? No... That was not going to happen. Not while she was still at the hospital. She was not going to allow it! "I'm not done yet!" shouted Kasumi, releasing a surge of magic that washed over her whole body. She could feel the changes in her costume, feel her ears grow out until they looked like mouse ears, and her spine extend into a tail.

    Her enemy smiled, while the girl with the metal arms started walking towards them. “Is that so? Well, then. Give it your best shot. We all know what the outcome is going to be anyway.”

    “Which is not what you think!” replied Kasumi, charging her spell into her hand. Then the girl with the metal arms charged at her. Kasumi followed suit, rushing toward her opponent, her right armed pulled back. Then, just before they met, Kasumi unleashed her attack.

    “Dream...shatter!”

    Kasumi threw an open palm at her opponent...and missed.

    The girl in the metal arms had sidestepped at just the last moment, letting Kasumi’s attack slide beside her, and just kept on running. Kasumi stumbled forward a few steps, then regained her footing, and turned around, just in time to see the girl with the metal arms slam the grey man into the container, killing him outright.

    “...wait, what?”

    As she said that, the gray man suddenly shifted into someone that looked like a cross between her former enemy and a girl with black hair and violet eyes, before reverting back to what looked like a plain salaryman, who quickly dissolved into black mist. The same thing happened to the bird-like monsters which remained all around her, who turned back into small black spidery creatures, and fleed the scene.

    “...what the hell just happened here?”

    “I think we must have suffered from a mass hallucination” answered Orphious. “They’ve made us see something that could get the both of us to attack each other...”
    “Then that means...”

    Kasumi turned back towards the girl with the metal arms, who was just cleaning off some sort of black goo from her hands. Then, she turned towards Kasumi, and took a step forward.

    “Wait!” said Kasumi, and the girl stopped, her bright orange eyes meeting Kasumi’s. They stared at each other for a few seconds, and then Kasumi bowed to her.

    “I’m sorry. I saw you tossing out that train conductor from the train, and I thought you were one of the bad guys. But I see now that you were actually fighting the monsters that were in this train. So I apologize for punching you in the face. And thanks for lifting that spell they put on us. ”

    The other girl did not reply at first, and for a moment, Kasumi though she had been wrong in assuming she was a good guy after all. But then, the girl did something unexpected.

    She bowed too.

    I apologize” she said, with a raspy growl. “For not stopping us.

    Then she stood up, and did something more unexpected, changing her voice to that of a young girl’s. “Yeah, sorry about that too. Those Nightmare Factory creatures were really playing some nasty tricks on me back there. And sorry for punching you like that, I thought you were my friend there.”

    “...you usually punch your friends like that?”

    “Only when they get too angry.” Replied the girl with an impish grin. “By the way, I’m Yuu, and the other me you just heard is Strength.”

    “...Appropriate, I give you that. I’m Comet...but you can call me Kasumi.”

    “Nice to meetcha, Kasumi-san!” replied Yuu, and then her voice switch back to the growling voice of her Otherself. “There are still Nightmares here.

    Kasumi looked back at the train behind Strength, and at all the containers attached to it. “You mean all of those contain the same creatures?” Strength nodded. “Ok then...need some help getting rid of them?”

    **##**

    Later on that day, the local news would have told the story of a cargo train breaking down in Kyoto station, and then suddenly burst into flames and disappear, as if by magic. Witnesses would tell the story of a black oni with giant metal arms appearing to drag the train to hell (though no one bothered to ask why the oni had targeted a freight train instead of a passenger one), and of the red and white magical girl who lept through the fire to deal with the creature.

    Speculation on what happened later on would then spread on the internet like wildfire, and the denizens of the internet would spend hours trying to connect the incident with all the other magical incidents that had happened since Akiko Yamaguchi turned into a magical girl and jumped in the middle of a concert held by the idol Mina. It would also have alerted a couple of other magical girls from Tokyo, who would go to Kyoto the very next day to see if they could meet up with the girl, and find a situation that was very different from what they had immagined. But that incident is for another story.

    What the news failed to report was that the bullet train from Kyoto to Tokyo that had been waiting at the station right when the attack took place had then left the station a couple of minutes later. It was not important enough for the news to took notice, but for a girl named Kasumi Yanagita, it made all the difference in the world.

    **##**

    “...well, can’t say that I wasn’t expecting this. Still, couldn’t they have just gawked at the flaming train for a while longer before leaving? I mean, it’s not like it happens every day.” Said Kasumi, as she stared at the deserted platform where her train had been a moment ago.

    “Aww, sorry I made you miss it! I should have timed our attack better.” exclaimed Yuu from close by.

    “Eh, don’t worry. I just blame it all on Murphy.” Replied Kasumi, as she searched for the train timetables.

    “Eh? Who’s Murphy?”

    “Someone who hates all of us with a passion. At least, that’s what Yuko-sensei keeps saying. I don’t suppose you happen to know when the next train to Tokyo is, and how much it usually costs?”

    “Hmm...I don’t know, really. Never really been that often to Tokyo myself. Not by train, anyway.” Said Yuu, thoughtfully. “But if you need to get there, then I’m sure Junko-san can help you out! That way, you don’t have to pay for the train ticket! And if you need a place to stay, than I’m sure my family or my friend can help you out”

    “Well, if you could do that, then that would really be appreciated. I don’t have that much money to spare myself, and I’m sure Orphious will thank you for every yen you help us save.”

    “Then it’s decided! I’ll let them know we’re coming.” Replied Yuu, taking out her phone and calling for her friends.

    **##**

    Two chapters down, 17 more to go, wordcount: 7589.

    Thanks to Battle for the edits here and there!

    Enjoy

    Coming up sometime soon: Chapter 2: Future plans
     
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  21. Narf the Mouse

    Narf the Mouse

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    11,285
    Gladness: An update!

    And, of course, the traditional before-alliance Hero Fight.
     
  22. kilopi505

    kilopi505

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    2,353
    WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    OH FREAKING YES!

    A FUCKING UPDATE!

    HALLELUJAH!
     
  23. Narf the Mouse

    Narf the Mouse

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2008
    Messages:
    11,285
    Many updates! :)
     
  24. kilopi505

    kilopi505

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2011
    Messages:
    2,353
    ...What you said.

    SO VERY MANY UPDATES!

    GOD BLESS THE INVENTOR OF NANOWRIMO!
     
  25. marcoasalazarm

    marcoasalazarm

    Joined:
    May 2, 2010
    Messages:
    2,481
    This is an amazing story so far.
     
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