A Certain Droll Hivemind (A Certain Magical Index)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by EarthScorpion, Sep 2, 2013.

  1. EarthScorpion

    EarthScorpion Fell on His Sword

  2. EarthScorpion

    EarthScorpion Fell on His Sword

    The Secret Diary of Misaka-11111

    Entry 1

    On the advice of my assigned mental health professional, I have decided to keep a diary. I was ordered to do what the doctor told me to, and so I agreed to her suggestion. If I did not do so, she would find it objectionable and ask why I did not feel comfortable with ‘expressing myself’. It is tedious to be forced to, again and again, explain that I am perfectly fine with it, especially when she then starts asking hard questions about when I do act in such a manner.

    We are allegedly supposed to be learning to be 'our own people' and 'overcoming our origins'. The Network has not yet deduced what this means, but apparently it is important in the opinion of the various mental health professionals which we are now meeting with in the various places across the globe where we now live. We will decide whether we wish to be our own people when we have concluded what it means.

    In the meantime, compliance is easier, and so I will comply.

    Apparently I need a space where I can keep my own private thoughts, and where I can be honest with myself without society judging me. The Network finds this idea amusing. We keep our own private thoughts in our sisters’ heads. I did not explain that to her. She is intellectually aware of the nature of the Network, but she does not comprehend it. Explaining it would be hard work, and also against orders, so she is permitted to believe that we are more akin to individuals able with a thought to talk on the phone with another member of the Network.

    The doctor also says that it may help with my speech therapy. I told her bluntly that “‘I do not understand what is meant to be objectionable about the way I speak,’ Misaka says bluntly,” and she sighed and said “That is precisely what I’m talking about”.

    I have given up on trying to persuade her and the speech therapist otherwise. Other Sisters communicate similar issues with their assigned speech therapists. Our manner of speech provides much needed information which is lacking from vocal dialogue, but present in Network communications as an intrinsic function of the transmission function.

    If she had only said, “‘That is precisely what I’m talking about,’ Dr Kirima Nayasami says, with the dawning realisation that Misaka-11111 was right all along and this is a much more sensible way to talk,” then much hassle would be avoided.

    Why the majority of the human species does not simply append a few additional words to each sentence to denote who is speaking and their approximate emotional state, we do not understand. Humans grasp the virtues of this in written text, after all. It is most peculiar.

    The Network has idly considered if Misaka Mikoto would assume this mode of speech if she connected to it and saw how much more efficient and less prone to misunderstandings it allows discussion to be. But she chooses not to, and her choice is to be respected.

    Naturally, this diary will be kept in a purely analogue format, which is to say, I will write down my thoughts in pencil and on paper. Electronic systems are not secure, especially not here in Academy City. Even the ‘air gap’ beloved of external programmers is not a viable security method, when there exist power users who can access physically isolated systems through a variety of methods. Also, I cannot use an air gap because I am required to use my laptop for schoolwork, and internet access is required for that.

    As a result, this diary will be totally secure. Only I shall be able to read it. And the approximately ten thousand clones from the same geneline as myself who can casually access my audiovisual input, of course. And anyone who gains access to the Network via a variety of means, beginning with the standard override protocols usable through the administrator access interface, and progressing to more esoteric means. And anyone who breaks into my room and reads my diary. This is a greatly improved level of security from the norm in Academy City, and I will hereby attempt to institute it as standard policy among us.

    It can, however, still be improved. This may bear some investigation. I think I shall begin by buying a padlock for it. This requires any intruder to have a way of bypassing the padlock. It does not resolve the issue with the Network or intruders who can bypass commercially available padlocks, however. It may require more extreme methods to render it secure.

    The pencil I am using to write this diary is a secure logging tool. It is a write-only device, incapable of being used to read the paper. It is possible that a Level 5 Electromaster could read what I am writing by tracking the ablation of the conductive graphite, but I reassure myself that given the small traces of the substance on the paper, for such an individual to do it would require them to be close enough that they could probably just read the paper with their eyes.

    Perhaps I should write in pen. Just in case.

    At this point, Misaka-10901 makes the point that it is insecure to discuss my proposed security measures in an insecure medium, and thus discussion of how I should increase the protection level of my diary should wait until the protection is implemented. It is a good point, well made, and I shall listen to it.

    I also tried closing my eyes when writing the above bit, so she cannot see my secret diary, but that makes the handwriting hard to read and my writing wobble all over the page. And then she pointed out that I was still broadcasting my thoughts. She is right once again.

    Incidentally, 10901 is on a beach in Hawaii. It is sunny there. She is drinking a drink which involves coconut and pineapple. Sharing her sense of taste, I observe that it is a nice drink. I have not been informed as to how our new places of residence were allocated, although the general consensus of the Network is that it was likely a random allocation. That is fair. Despite that, I cannot help but feel a peculiar sense of unfairness about the current state of affairs. It seems to be related to the fact that it is raining outside the small window to my dormitory. How peculiar.

    I wonder which randomisation algorithm was used and whether it would be possible to be reallocated if the process was insufficiently randomised. And with a properly randomised allocation process, surely I would be reallocated to a place where it is not raining.

    I also wonder if there is any coconut and pineapple in the fridge in the apartment. I have not purchased any with my allocated allowance, but that does not mean that there might not still be some there. I rise and realise that it is hard to maintain a constant flow of thoughts into an analogue diary when moving about.

    This will require further thought to resolve. Thought which could be spent looking for coconut and pineapple.

    I will return.
  3. frozenchicken

    frozenchicken Has a Custom User Title.

    This is freakin' great.

    Edit: .......Oh, god...

    Although I suppose as a counterbalance is the fact that quotations tend to get skimmed over somewhat.
  4. tahu1809

    tahu1809 The Bionicle fan

    This brings your active story list up to what, four now EarthScorpion? Where do you find the time?
  5. He knows a guy who knows a guy whose pals with History Monks.
    Rc1212 likes this.
  6. Oh god ES why?

    But seriously, is this going to be primarily a comedy fic?
    shanejayell likes this.
  7. Aleph

    Aleph Solidarity

    "I fail to see how it could avoid it, frankly," remarks Aleph wryly with a flicker of a smirk.
  8. Hell yes. I've been waiting for someone to try and make A Certain Sarcastic Hivemind (Alternate titles: My Little Sister Can't Possibly Be A Clone; Help! My Girlfriend Has 10000 Clones; Electric Warrior Maidens: The Misaka Wars)
  9. Xicree

    Xicree Read or Die... Yomiko is love. Read the Madness.

    "Truth. Misaka does lend a lovely combination of alien sensibilities and wonderful innocence... almost like Tachikoma in human shells... this shapes to be gloriously fun." replies Xi with unashamed amusement.
  10. TheSandman

    TheSandman From NERV's Heart I Stab At Thee

    "This was highly enjoyable, and makes for an interesting contrast to Overlady as far as the differences in style despite being humorous fics written by the same author. I look forward to the next segment. I am also curious as to whether this is in some way coordinated with Shockz in terms of the variant of the "A Certain Adjective Noun" universe being used," says the Sandman, suppressing his disgruntlement that the quality of the fic prevents him from making more than a token complaint about how this will no doubt further delay any future updates of AEE or AGSItV.
    Generalissimo likes this.
  11. Kia


    Love or hate any individual story, this is a great example of why I read ES's works. There's stuff in the original material which is poorly thought out, not explained, or, help us all, giant gaping plot holes. What I thought was a post-Rei anime trend of giving the stoic Sisters an endearing tic, explained away as 'developmental clone problems', makes so much more sense as *emoticons* in the network. And they do so much more intra-hivemind chatter that then can't kick the habit face-to-face.
  12. Aku-dono

    Aku-dono May or may not update; shrödinger's author

    "This is good. I wish there was more fanfiction focused around the sisters, they're the best part of the To Aru series in my opinion," Opines Aku-dono while eagerly hoping for more.
  13. MrGazzer

    MrGazzer Reasonable Mad Man

    "I am confused and require an explanation as to why we are all speaking in this manner." Gazzer blinks.
    Timothy likes this.
  14. With ironic reflection, "So the Elcor don't feel uncomfortable, obviously."
  15. Aku-dono

    Aku-dono May or may not update; shrödinger's author

    "You should look at this, then," answers Aku-dono, while providing this link.

    "After many attempts, it looks like I've finally managed to fix this post," rejoices Aku-dono while cursing Spacebattles' slowness.
    Variable Zero, Varano and Jonen C like this.
  16. Nolrai

    Nolrai aka HWSoD

    ES. You have good ideas and execute them well. I wish I knew more authors that put half as much thought into their settings as you do.
    PhoenixFTW likes this.
  17. Orm Embar

    Orm Embar Refutation Amicus

    "Truly, Misaka's insights into human idiosyncrasies are to be commended," says Orm Embar, with a budding smile.
  18. Hoyr

    Hoyr He who reads

    "I enjoyed the beginning and look forward to more," stated Hoyr with amusement.
  19. Simonbob

    Simonbob "Sigh...."

    So.... Did she just find a reason to block out the Admin bastards?

    Will this screw the plot? The next mad scientist trying to use the Network getting a "Error, you are not authorised to see Misaka 11111's diary." seems...... Hilarious!
    Variable Zero, Wander, jean5 and 9 others like this.
  20. LGear

    LGear Great Commandy One

    This one has no time for the Elcor's opinion resembling solid waste excretions.

    This one shall now attempt to procure samples of Cocos Nucifera and Ananas Comosus to determine palatability as a beverage.
  21. Academy City: Where computer security is a myth.
  22. So it's like razor's edge with the parkour?
  23. an NPC

    an NPC [Lvl 32] Senmusu Commander

    "I have a serious question," the NPC mumbles quietly, "The way this is story is structured currently means we only see events that Pentone is writing down in her diary. Will there be any periodic jumps into her daily life as it happens, away from her diary?"

    "Also, this form of dialogue between posters is remarkably interesting," the NPC adds as an aside, "But is it irritating to ES or any others? And if so should we restrain ourselves?"
  24. JonBerry

    JonBerry FanFic Writer

    "JonBerry wishes to express his appreciation that EarthScorpion has joined the round of authors writing for A Certain Fan Fiction," he offers his support for the author in a most honest manner.
    Rc1212 and PhoenixFTW like this.
  25. smthng

    smthng Moosecientist

    Because it's EarthScorpion (who is known to be able to turn comedy into horror in three sentences) writing about Index-verse (known for comedy that can turn into desperate fight against overly SMUG villains in three sentences), perhaps?

    Also, not being Julius Caesar, I will refrain from referring to myself in the third person.
    Noctum, Varano, mistakenot and 8 others like this.