A Summon goes Wrong(Mahou Gakusei Louise) Part 4

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Nervaqus987, Mar 23, 2012.

  1. Four threads. Wow. I am still shocked that this is well like enough.

    Sometimes. Sometimes the worst events in our lives lead to the best experiences. We look back and see that not only were these events necessary, but good for us. But that does nothing to sooth the pain of those times in the present. A summoning gone wrong. An unexpected trip across worlds. And Evangeline.........These things were for the best, but they sure didn't seem like it at the time.

    This is what we have so far.

    Part 1
    Part 2
    Part 3
    Part 4
    Part 5
    Part 6
    Part 7
    Part 8
    Part 9
    Part 10
    Part 11
    Part 12
    part 13
    part 14
    part 15
    Part 16
    Part 17
    Part 18
    Part 19
    Part 20
    Part 21
    Part 22

    Here are the previous threads if you want them.
    Thread 1
    Thread 2
    Thread 3
    Zanfib, Zam, Lokesin and 9 others like this.
  2. mdkcde

    mdkcde "Ah Kos... some say Kosmog"

    Continuing the previous topic
    Void doesn't really care what emotion is being fed as long as it is a strong emotion.
    So it doesn't matter if you feed him with Death Metal or Huey Lewis.
  3. Kyte

    Kyte Never quacked for this

    A) Mahora effect.
    B) Louise there was still naive, generally weak-willed and not at all suited for combat or such compared to Louise here.
    C) She trusted Wardes.
  4. Also? Wardes's mind control was a bit more subtle than Eva's outright "Bow Before Me!" attempt. That contributes a bit to resisting mind control.

    As for Louise not trusting Eva.........Eva is a fairly classic Jerk with a Heart of Gold. She is actually a good person, especially once you get to know her. The problem is, Eva doesn't like people getting to know her and covers her heart of gold with a layer of Spiked Villainy. If you don't know her, then it's fairly easy to assume that Eva is evil and the only reason she stays at Mahora and doesn't cause any trouble is because she can't.

    Also, first impressions didn't exactly paint a flattering image of Eva in Louise's mind. Especially when one considers that the first time they met, Eva was freed from the curse temporarily and well. Colbert is currently in a block of ice until a couple years pass or someone in Halk figures out how to break Eva's spell.
    Mook91 likes this.
  5. Zeful

    Zeful Out of my mind, please leave a message.

    Um, have you been paying attention? Louise doesn't want Evangeline free. At all. She sees the vampire as exactly the image she projects; a ruthless uncaring monster that deserves her imprisonment fully. Without a serious moment of weakness or some show of genuine kindness that Louise can't rationalize as mind-games or a falsified bid at freedom, the opinion won't change.
  6. For those still interested, here's a link to Evangelinequest by tzeench. The link is to the latest thread. Have fun.
  7. But Eva is infinitely more powerful. It wasn't a simple mind control, there was a blood connection.

    I was annoyed from the scene. Don't matter what power she used it is still an illogical shonen cliche, in every manga where I read scenes like this the protagonist has incredibile potential but it is still nonsense. She didn't just almost beat one of more feared and powerful, centuries old, mage of the Nerimaverse, but she almost killed her! whatever power she has she have to muster it with decades and decades of training and experience to do something like that. The outcame of the canon fight between Negi and Eva was more realistic and probably.

    However I'am reading this fanfiction more for the character development than the fights.
  8. Vianca

    Vianca Twin Suns of Chaos


    This is for the next update.
  9. noahgab1133

    noahgab1133 This isn't even my final form

    as was mention before while eva is in mahora her power is greatly greatly reduced and her body is a kin to a normal 10 year old girl while under the affects of the curse. Louise magic is void hax which like rakan gives the middle finger to rules logic and pretty much anything that gets into there way. in canon Evangeline would have been severely hurt by falling off the bridge if negi didnt save her.
  10. How can you say infinitely more powerful? That seems to be really over blowing. It also seems you taking in consideration every single stacked advantage Louise had and every limit put on Eva by herself and the school. Eva was merely chillaxing and having fun while louise, Whom in the sucky tier syle barely trained busted air fleets, was going full tier with a power source that feeds of emotions while at the precipice of rage.

    Eva was playing around with the girls shinigami then got caught in mid air without flight spell by a mega vortex she didn't know louise had and wasn't watching because she was playing around.

    Louise was charging her Anit magic Darkside beam of death with pure unleaded rage as was full of anti magic. Eva bring out the mind control. Louise makes her magic assited Will Save and let's her beam of death which should scales higher than anything she did in canon by style of casting. Then Eva has to blow her stockpile becuase her crippled reserves can't match with out prep.

    It a rational outcome within scope of everything laid out.
  11. Yes it is a stronger connection. That does not change the fact that Evangeline was using a brute force method of mind control and gave advanced warning.

    Yes. She almost killed a Sealed Evangeline who is currently in possession of what is scarcely a fraction of a fraction of her true power. Whereas Louise had no such restrictions and was using her full power.

    As long as you find something to like, I'm happy.
    Mook91 and EVA-Saiyajin like this.
  12. So Eva will have to make sure that her hold on Louise is effective to the detail. The stronger Louise gets the more harder it is to control her.

    Personally I think she was able to break free because she wasn't that weak little girl that was first bit plus she how she felt after Makie. Emotional connections can give one such power in these things.
  13. Zeful

    Zeful Out of my mind, please leave a message.

    First: Eva, on campus, has pretty much all of her power sealed. It's why she needed spell catalysts to use magic at all for the full moon assault on Negi. That she could pull on Magia Ereiba at all is impressive, given that what we know about the spells, it should have been impossible. Eva at this juncture is very much killable.

    Second: Louise is very much suited to fighting mages. Her magic's natural magic-cancelling properties make magic generated defenses weak or obsolete while her defenses will weaken any incoming magic significantly. She is also really powerful in her own right, she has to be to use her portion of The Void properly. With her getting a free recharge to full in moments of extreme emotion, her ripping off 0-Form Particle beam was when she was magically at her peak. Any fight between Louise and another mage gives Louise a lot of advantages.

    Given what is known about the two settings and the things Nerv has previously established in the fic, this fight makes just as much sense as the canon one between Negi and Eva.
  14. mdkcde

    mdkcde "Ah Kos... some say Kosmog"

    ITT: people nitpicking details and putting personal tastes as valid opinions.

    The fight and the outcome make complete sense.

    Tinfoilhat = on

    Doesn't this situation sound a bit convenient to any of you? just that same day she was failing and getting frustrated. Makie was casually going around and found Louise.

    They where already on amicable terms and they turned into quite good friends.

    We know that the canon is set that Makie would be bitten, but when this happened Louise was around and developed a Social Link. Makie also has very little magical power, combined with Evangeline debuffs stacked on top of her and Louise pulling all the Void magic her emotions could carry.

    This seemed like the most perfectly engineered oportunity, the ONE chance Louise would have of killing Evangeline, who is stopping Louise's DESTINY of killing off all the Elves from happening.

    I think VOID is trying to pull all its Destiny Manipulation cards and playing a game of fates behind the scenes.

    Tinfoilhat = off.
  15. Yog


    About this - isn't Louise still under Brimir's "Splitting the Void into four Heirs" limiter/curse?
  16. linkhyrule5

    linkhyrule5 Hero of Time

    Not really? It's not so much a limiter so much as "you never had this in the first place..."
  17. mdkcde

    mdkcde "Ah Kos... some say Kosmog"

    Well, some spells like explosion are shared amongst Void Users. Unless she starts altering someone's mind or casting portals to other worlds she won't be doing anything that she shouldn't be able to do.

    Also, the limiter could be connected to the casting technique, or the Onmyji style is like using a completely different OS so a software restriction program that would work on Windows wouldn't work on Linux.
  18. Would that limiter reach all the way to Earth?
  19. Actually no. Yes. Sort of.

    Okay the Split Void thing works like this. Brimir had the Original Complete Void. At some point, he manipulated it into Four separate pieces that would be passed down his line and into his descendents, of whom Louise is one.

    She has always been the Void Mage of Tristan and has always possessed 1/4 of the Original Void that Brimir had.

    So while she technically doesn't have the full Void, it isn't a problem to her because she never had the full thing to begin with.
    EVA-Saiyajin likes this.
  20. kylone

    kylone One of the Good Guys (tm)

    Well, I think Louise has significant room for growth... in her power. ;)

    You know, in looking for round pegs to put into round holes, this confrontation could lay the rationale for Eva losing to Negi. (at least moreso than the handhave that cannon had)
  21. This is Negima. She can't use all the spells Brimir made so she makes her own.
  22. mdkcde

    mdkcde "Ah Kos... some say Kosmog"

    It might have made it difficult for Negi as well.

    Back then Evangeline didn't had someone like Louise to recharge her power.
    It is all up to Asuna now.
  23. Louise might not be able to break Eva's control a second time. So the Eva fight might have just gotten a lot harder.
  24. ... A week later, Louise came back to class again, bearing a note from a doctor that confirmed that she has, in fact, been ill. She was a bit more subdued than what her friends remembered of her; but, when confronted about it, she told them that she was just tired after fighting the illness.
    That same excuse was used by her to explain why she moved slower and much more carefully, taking several seconds to sit or lie down or stand up in one fluid motion, where she'd just flop down or jump before. And, after thinking about it for a bit, everyone remembered that she always changed alone before and after the PE class, and so that was nothing to be worried about.
    She also never directly contradicted one Evangeline A. K. McDowell ever again.
  25. DB_Explorer

    DB_Explorer An advocate of faithful contracts.

    So... Eva just feed off Louise, again. So Eva gets a power boost and perhaps next time she can be more subtle with the mind control.


    I am not familiar with ZnT.... can Void do that? Manipulate fate...