Breaking In Louise (ZnT Discussion)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Darth Artemis, Oct 26, 2010.

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  1. Darth Artemis

    Darth Artemis The Villain in Glasses

    Like many of you, The Hill of Swords by Gabriel Blessing has been on my reading list for a while. I'm not familiar with the ZnT novels but I'm very familiar with the ZnT anime and Fate/Stay Night as well as the Nasuverse in general. However what caught my attention the most about THoS was Louise's character development.

    Prior to reading THoS, Louise was one of my most-hated anime characters, and even afterwards I still don't like her very much. However the version presented in THoS has grown past the sadistic and immature tsunbitch that she was in canon and turned into something worthy of respect. The potential for character growth was always there, Saito just wasn't the right person to bring it out (or maybe he was and he didn't bring out nearly enough of it)

    I'd like to try this myself, however I don't have the patience for writing servile characters like Shirou was in THoS. My personal feelings on Louise would probably wind up coming out one way or another and then the story would just degrade into a bashfic. Instead, I'd like to try making a deconstruction (or is it reconstruction?) of a bashfic by using a character who won't put up with Louise's shit but also won't immediately ditch her for one reason or another, and in the course of butting heads with her familiar ("Call me that again and I'll teach you what that riding crop feels like!") Louise is forced to confront her flaws and work past them, adapting to the familiar rather than the familiar adapting to her like Saito did.

    The first candidate I'd thought of was a post-Heaven's Feel Tohsaka Rin, who sure as hell isn't going to put up with being treated like a servant but also is smart enough not to go off half-cocked and start blowing shit up. She has no resources and no knowledge of the world outside Tristain Academy, so she sticks close to her so-called "master" while needling her every chance she gets, sucking up to Guiche (he makes the loveliest gemstones with his earth magic you see, and Tohsaka magi adore their gems...), and so on and so forth. And of course the fact that she's canonically bisexual makes it that much easier to get Rin her own harem. The main problem with Rin is that she's quite possibly too intelligent for me to write believably without extensive analysis of the situation and all possible choices available to her.

    Thoughts/opinions/alternate character suggestions?
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  2. Tabi

    Tabi Self-Admitted Grammar Nazi Amicus

    Lelouch from Code Geass - in his Zero attire. 0 + 0 for irony. But any rate, as her familiar he won't be able to use his geas on her. But at any rate, hes the sort of chum who'll bring out her worst side; he is of noble blood from his world; so he'll know how to manipulate her into the right mould; depending on how reactions go...things would get very interesting. Cookies are insured if someone pulls in Immortal!Lelouch.

    Harry Potter? I'm not too sure about this one; but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't take crap from a snot nosed little girl - but at the same time, he'll protect her for sure. Its his people saving thing after all. Interesting things will definitely happen. Him being magic also brings up his status instantly.

    Voldemort. Nuff said. He will turn the girl into the next Karin the Heavy Wind. Then maybe possess her...or something.

    Seras Victoria/Alucard/Hans/Walter/Schrodinger: All of the three are immensely powerful monsters, Seras less so but she'll definitely become a true big sister type for Louise. Alucard will scare her character development into jumpstart. Hans will be the silent dog who can say things merely by looking. He too is scary enough to jumpstart character development; if his silence doesn't. Walter, being the badass trashman turned butler turned vampire thing, should know quite a bit about dealing with snot nosed arrogant and immature little girls (couhgIntegracough).

    Cat boy...yeah, the lad didn't get much screentime, but from what I can tell, hes a nasty little bastard. Pretty sure he'll cause all manner of mischief; but his ability to be everywhere and nowhere is unbelievably useful. Not to mention hes young enough to be the same age as Louise to make it a good pairing.

    Naruto. He befriends her. Whether she likes it or not.
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  3. Darth Artemis

    Darth Artemis The Villain in Glasses

    I'd kinda prefer characters who aren't likely to just eat Louise and be done with her. Characters with their own powersets are kinda iffy too, Rin is limited because most of her magic relies on a finite jewel supply, apart from that most of what she has consists of Gandr and her Chinese martial arts. Using Alucard for instance would be an instant "I WIN" button for every fight in the series.
  4. Terrace

    Terrace Insane Slacker

    Harry Dresden: Once he gets over the fact that she just unknowingly violated one of the Laws of Magic (You cannot bind another human to your will [But the whole unknowing bit will be crucial to any defense from the White Council]) I can easily see him acting as her private tutor.

    Kamina: "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?" Cue pink-haired mage with awesome sunglasses.
  5. firefossil

    firefossil I have charts. Lots of charts.

    You could always just go with the Manga version of Louise.

    Its kind of funny actually. I was initially unaware that ZnT had both a Light Novel AND a Manga. The Manga Louise, while hardly a paragon of niceness, is not... well... Light Novel Louise, or even worse, Anime Louise. Which left me downright confused at the level of hatred expressed on TV Tropes.

    I didn't actually read that far, maybe up to chapter 9 (wasn't enough to keep my attention), so maybe it changed, but the Manga Louise never exactly filled me with rage.
  6. Shiki Emiya

    Shiki Emiya *sigh*

    I would say Kokutou Mikiya from the Kara no Kyoukai. The guy is the only normal main character in the series.

    The next person I would recomend would be Tohno Shiki, but that has already been done already. But if you can to better, kudos to you.

    Hell's Bells, Harry DRESDEN!?!? Void or no, can you imagine the duel between him and Guiche? And Kirche would be all over him when he pulls off Pyrofuego.

    And don't get me started on Kamina. . . THE PINNICLE OF MANLINESS.
  7. John Constantine
  8. Lancealot

    Lancealot The Engineer

    Have it be right after Changes, have some ROB tells him to turn Zero from a petty bitch into a respectable hero mage and he gets to go back home with no strings.
  9. AFAIK the summon spell has a "won't harm the summoner" clause. I.e. no creature that will harm her will be summoned. Perhaps they're inclined to put up with her antics as well ;)

    You could always depower them. They'll get all the power they need from those runes.


    Anyway, my sugestion: Artemis Fowl

    He got his own "arrogance/dependence" issues to work out so he won't be entirely on the morally superior high ground.
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  10. Wrex... I have no idea why he won't shoot her, but once he see's she is a walking talking explosion...
    AdvLeon and darkdigi like this.
  11. Jonen C

    Jonen C F.M.D.G.

    ... I move we limit the selection to characters who at the very least appear to be humans, preferably "commoners" (by local standards) in their default state.


    Ryoko Hakubi?
  12. FourthWall

    FourthWall Local Girl Homus Everything

    When you say "Breaking In Louise," I think ecchi. So Rance, from the myriad Rance games.
  13. The Familiar of Zero is a light manga series, which was later adapted to both manga and anime. The light novel has 19 volumes out, with vol 20 on the way. Check on baka-tsuki for more on it.

    As for Louise, its pretty much standard fair in that her anime counterpart is more aggressive, yet oddly enough her manga counterpart is a bit more docile. Not to say she doesn't get violent, but her anime counterpart is moreso.
  14. CuriousStranger

    CuriousStranger WRITE ANYTHING

    Heard that the Light Novel is even worse. She goes as far as whipping Saito until he passes out from the pain.

    And I know this goes totally against the spirit of this thread, but I feel I must repeat something I've said many times before.

    She needs to summon Gilgamesh from F/SN. At the very least, she'll learn how to be even more snobbish and actually back up that arrogance. If not, her reaction to being called Mongrel should be hilarious.
    darkdigi likes this.
  15. Could you imagine if Louise summoned Lina Inverse?
    Could you imagine the resulting destruction that would happen if the Mazoku's power could be summoned in another world (I suppose one could easily invent a AU when the world of FoZ is a world created by L-Sama)?

    A few links fir everybody.

    First of course is Hill of Swords

    And the various spacebattle story threads:

    Division by Zero by drakensis (FoZ/Whateley Academy)

    Unfamiliar, by Cpl. Facehugger (FoZ/Prototype)

    Gray Familiar by Kerrus (an original character familiar)

    Warden of Zero by 100th lurker (FoZ/Dresden Files)

    Echoes of the void
    Red Green Moons Beneath the Foreign Sky
    FoZ/Full Metal Panic. Requires registration unfortunately
    A Familiar Interface (FoZ/Haruhi) by Jonen C (FoZ / Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi)
    In the aftermath of the horrible battle to make things interesting via introduction of certain events to the entity known as Suzumiya Haruhi by the back-up data interface entity Asakura Ryouko... someone summoned a backup copy of the loser interface.

    Duality [FoZ/
    ] by Mizuki_Stone

    Scion of Zero (FoZ/Scion) by arthurh3535

    Judgment of Zero [FoZ/Toaru Kagaku no Railgun]
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  16. Darth Artemis

    Darth Artemis The Villain in Glasses

    I had the most evil thought in existence while I was in the shower:

    We give her Negi Springfield, post-Mahorafest, pre-Magic World.

    Tristain, Albion, and the rest of the ZnT-verse are on an alternate version of the Magic World and the local system is a style that's separate from both Eastern and Western magic. By the power of alternate universes, none of the information revealed during the Magic World arc is canon to this 'verse except where it meshes conveniently. Jack Rakan is still around because he's JACK MOTHERFUCKING RAKAN and I don't have the Code of the Lifemaker so I can't write him out of existence.

    The Lifemaker was the first Void Mage, the Gandalfr was his most loyal minion, and Fate has plans for their modern counterparts. This spells trouble for Louise and Negi, especially because all the ZnT characters have been brought up to MSN standards of combat capability and Negi is going to need the performance boost he gets from the Gandalfr runes to stay alive (Wardes isn't a curbstomp, he's a boss fight).

    Eva gets a scrying spell completed somewhere around the end of the anime's first season and finds out where he is. Ala Alba will be coming to find him at some point, but they need to get trained up enough to survive. In the meantime, Negi is free to convert the female population of Tristain (and, of course, Princess Henrietta) into raging shotacons.

    Negi fits the qualities necessary for the "Breaking In" part because he does have something of a temper when he's dealing with Asuna and he has no obligation to be nice to her because he's not Louise's teacher. Oh, he's still an English gentlemen but he's also not very easy to boss around without a good reason.

    That was exactly what I was going for. :drevil:
  17. someone from Warhammer...?

  18. Shockz

    Shockz Boop.

    I know jack-all about ZnT beyond the basic premise, but one possibility that immediately popped into my head when the criterion of "won't take shit from her, but won't leave her in the cold" was mentioned...

    Nanoha. Takamachi.

    During or post-StrikerS.
  19. You ninja. you stole the idea right out of my very head so I wouldn't add it in my last post.
  20. Barricade

    Barricade A Perfectly Elegant ZA WARUDO!

    For sheer irony, Louise summons:

    Nanoha or Fate
    Negi Springfield
    Lina Inverse
    Laharl (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Literally)

    For non-magic epicness:

    Sousuke Sagara AND the Arbalast (good luck with maintenance!)
    Shō Fukamachi
    Kirika Yuumura or Chloe
    Fei Fong-Wong (oh. hell.)
    Sephiroth (prior to discovering the 'truth' about things)
    Kenshin Himura (prior to taking his oath not to kill again)
    Any of the Paper Sisters (or Yomiko Readman herself)
    Tony Stark (yes, the cave & scraps joke would be prevalent here)
    Fayt/Fate Linegod

    For the Lulz:

    Dan Hibiki
    Morisato Keiichi
    Yamada Seina
    Haruhi (no SOS squad...just Haruhi herself)
  21. You watched Teknoman?

    Tony Stark cave jokes would be amusing.
    How about Batman? < totally random.
  22. Kenjiro of the Hokuto no Ken.
  23. Satori

    Satori Buffleheaded

    You have to realize that Tsundere characters are heavily bound by the dictates of genre convention.

    I really dislike shounen male leads, for various reasons, but i acknowledge that a lot of that is genre conventions. Male leads in Shounen Adventure Manga/Anime are pretty much required to be Tough, Determined, and Eager to Help Others; but also Stubborn, Insensitive, and Utterly Moronic outside their chosen field of combat.

    Likewise, female Tsundere's have their own annoying genre conventions. To do justice to the characters you need to keep the context in mind.

    I'm sure that Louise has her issues, but i get the feeling she's not quite as bad as you make her out to be, Artemis.
  24. The God Emperor of Mankind. Lulz will be had.
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  25. Jonen C

    Jonen C F.M.D.G.

    Suggestion: Sans Arbalest, with usual arsenal (as seen in Fumoffu). At one point or another they come across some "magical artifacts" that recently (in the past decade) appeared, which turn out to be some half demolished Rk-91/92 Savages.
    Sousuke does what Sousuke does best and cobbles himself a ride.

    Of course, getting his hands on the Arbalest for later on would be kind of nice... Or the Laevatein.


    Vash the Stampede?
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