Degrees of Seperation; A Gate/Effect Crossover.

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Fell, May 31, 2011.

  1. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    On P3X-221, not much had happened for the past few thousand years. It was a barren rock, lashed by wind, scoured by carbonic acid rain, the sky dark but for the sickly, wan light of it's little red star.

    Under normal circumstances, the Quarian exploratory team would have passed it up as too much trouble to mine, even by the always-hungry Migrant Fleet. However, despite it's unfortunate location and weather, science team had insisted on performing at least perfunctory scans. You never passed up data, no matter how obscure it might seem, and on this occasion, they appeared to have struck gold.

    The "Facility" was little more than a thirty meter cube, half buried in the acidic soil. It was old, that much was sure, and the materials that comprised it were rare and exotic, almost impermeable to orbital scans, and the decision had been made to send a team down to take a firsthand look at it. If it turned out to be a Prothean cache or archive, the fleet could pay for this exploratory mission a dozen times over from selling the location alone.

    It was not, as it turned out, a Prothean ruin. It was far stranger than that. The outer structure seemed to be little more than a box, the strange material of the walls built thick and rigidly reinforced; whoever made this place built things to last, that was for certain. There were several scattered artefacts that neither the team's scientist nor it's archeologist could identify, none as attention-grabbing as the massive ring set upon a pedestal, toward the rear of the structure, rows of symbols corresponding roughly to ones on a nearby altar or plinth, capped by a huge red sphere.

    The Archeologist, Gil Zvara vas Kalar, circled around the massive ring for the third time as the team scientist, who's name he could never remember, took yet more Omni-tool readings. They met in front of it, right before the set of stone steps leading up to the short platform in front of it.

    "So." the scientist said gruffly. "What do you think it was for?"

    Gil considered the ring for a moment more. "I have no idea. What's it made of?"

    "I have no idea." The scientist answered helpfully. "Whatever it is, it's incredibly dense. Per unit of volume, it'd be at least twice as heavy as iridium, and it resists scanning like nothing I've ever seen before. It seems to correspond exactly to it's ambient temperature, so it's probably a superconductor, and if it's stood here all this time without any sign of erosion, it's probably extremely tough." he paused, taking a look at the glowing hologram surrounding his arm. "A line of the material extends through the floor, to the altar-like device, and the corresponding symbols make me think that it's a control device of some kind, but I probably shouldn't speculate. What's your opinion?" He asked.

    Gil walked to the altar itself, looking it over once again, before absent-mindedly brushing away a bit of dust from one symbol, and jerking his hand away as the sound of clanking and a dim, bluish light began to emanate from the ring, the outer structure rotating, laying the outer chevrons over various symbols.

    The scientist shot him a glare, and Gil raised his hands sheepishly. "I swear I didn't do any-"

    The scientist dove backward as a great wave of rippling... something erupted from the ring, sloshing back to within it's borders, forming a smooth membrane as Gil watched in awe. There was a moment of silence, punctuated only by the shouts of the guards taking up positions around it, military instinct kicking in in response to the unfamiliar stimulus...

    Then, a squat little robot on treads of all things rolled through the glowing membrane, turning what had to be a primitive camera this way and that.

    Gil slowly walked toward it, ignoring the warnings from the guards, and knelt before it, peering curiously into it's eyepiece, which whirred to focus on him. Cautiously, he waved one three-fingered hand.


    Back on Earth, deep under a certain mountain, Colonel Jack O'Neill peered at a computer screen at the image of an alien in an environment suit waving back at him.

    "Huh... well there's something you don't see everyday." he said flatly.


    Chapter 2: Further down

    Chapter 3:

    Chapter the Fourth:
  2. Well, the different PoVs are separated merely by spaces rather than something more concrete which can make the switch feel more sudden than it really is.

    Oh, and I'm fairly certain that the DHDs are remote control devices that are not actually connected to the gates per se.
  3. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    Minor edit made to make the transition easier to see. As for the DHD, well, I'm just guessing here. Wiki says it's a remote connection, but oh well, it was an easy way to get him over to the DHD.
  4. ajw



    I would need to read more before I could really give you some proper feedback on this idea but its certainly interesting.
  5. Weaver

    Weaver Human Wikipedia

    Looks good so far. Then again, you've used my suggestion so I'm probably a little bit biased due to being happy that someone thought one of my ideas was good enough to use.
  6. Nice start.

    What season of Stargate is this set in?
  7. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    Tentatively, late in season 1.

    The Gate program is well underway, but Apophis hasn't come calling with his Ha'Tak's yet. Tentatively.
  8. Weaver

    Weaver Human Wikipedia

    Is it just me or does anyone else have a feeling that Gil and Daniel are going to hit it off?

    By the by, how are you going to handle the language barrier?
  9. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    Same way they did it in Mass Effect's timeline; tentatively.

    Luckily Quarians are not Turians, and do not immediately shoot that which they do not understand.
  10. Harry Leferts

    Harry Leferts Solidarity

    This is a great start. But I think that we should leave this thread for the story itself and move the comments over into the discussion thread.
  11. It''s...disgusting! It's a massive RIPOFF of Wormhole X-Treme! Pissh, Col. Jack O'Neill is quite obviously Colonel Danning! What's next? Grell the robot is replaced by Teal'c, the alien warrior?

    No, seriously. It's a great start. So good, that it made my morning.
    Oh, to make things easier, link new chapters to the first post.
  12. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    I'm not totally familiar with how one links to a specific post.
  13. Like so:




    Just remove the parenthesis'.
  14. Good start, Fell, but we'll have to see more to judge. This is a nicely implemented teaser, though. Are you planning to stick with the Teaser and 5 acts format of the show?

    I disagree, given the length of the post.
  15. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    I'm going to stick with it right up until it ceases to be interesting and fun and becomes annoying.
  16. Crazael

    Crazael Madness Incarnate

    Well, this is going to be all kinds of fun.
  17. Vianca

    Vianca Twin Suns of Chaos

    Update Central, ad me to the list for warnings. ;7

    And so the Counsil will get blasted away in a year of eight/ten when Atlantis returns home.
    Funny thing is, there are atleast two other (wrecked) cityships in Pegasus, not counting the Asuran ones. (Tower, Emege)
  18. Silveraith

    Silveraith Argentum Phasma Phasmatis

    I wanna see more before I say anything beyond this.
  19. Glassware

    Glassware Alien Stowaway

    A nice start. Looking forwards to the actual contact stuff.
  20. wanderingcleric

    wanderingcleric Now working almost 1/2 time. :(

    This could be interesting. Very interesting.
  21. Interesting start.

    Have you decided when in season 1 of Stargate this will be set. The last three episodes of the season where basically showing SG-1 finding out about Apophis heading for Earth and Senator Kinsey shutting down the program.

    If you move it a few months before that in the season, the SGC has a real chance of getting their hands on some real technology. That could play a key role in dealing with Kinsey if they have something concrete to show him, or if Lt. Colonel Samuels and the Area 51 nerds would be willing to back the SGC after playing with alien technology.
  22. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    Dar Vannik vas Zaro was an impatient man, perhaps abrasive at times, but he liked to think that his enthusiasm for his job was infectious. Even the laid back ruin-botherer they'd sent along with him was pacing the room, talking excitedly as the translation programs carried in their omni-tools got to work decoding the stream of radio messages that had been flowing through the ring almost since it had opened. But then, who wasn't excited by a First Contact?

    Finally, after 38 minutes of broadcasting, the ring went silent, and then the field collapsed. Gil made a noise of distress, his shoulders slumping. At first, the archeologist had wanted to walk through the ring himself, although he'd at least been smart enough to see common sense when Dar pointed out that whoever was on the other end had sent a robot probe, and quite a durable, unsophisticated one at that.

    Gil walked back to the scientist's side, giving a deep sigh into his mask. "Well, it was exciting while it lasted. And at least we got some interesting data, right?"

    "Hrm." Dar grunted. "They are coming back, I think." He said flatly.

    Behind his translucent mask, Gil blinked. "Wait, coming back? What do you mean, opening the portal again?"

    "Hrm. And stepping through, I think." He said, making a few more adjustments to his omni-tool.

    "But you said that was dangerous!" Gil protested.

    "It IS dangerous. From what I can tell, several of the repeated messages were stern warnings NOT to attempt to travel through the gate. I can't quite translate what they say would happen to you, but I gather it would be most unpleasant. Clearly however, they either know a way to do it unharmed, or are willing to brave the risk."

    Gil crossed his arms. He'd been willing to take the risk. No use crying over it though.

    It was a tense wait for the ring to "Open" again, and everyone jumped when the distinctive "KAWOOSH!" blew out from it's surface once more. Dar noted with surprise the bulk and heft of the suits that emerged from the surface, then heard Gil's groan of consternation when the marines instantly aimed guns in their direction, which the newcomers swiftly reciprocated.


    "So, what exactly are we looking at here?" General Hammond asked, motioning rhetorically toward the screen taken up by the image of the waving alien figure.

    "Well... we thought that it might be another advanced human culture, like we've seen on other worlds." Carter explained. "But the fact that it has three fingers per hand seemed to put that to rest. Likewise, the proportions are just subtly wrong, shoulders too broad for the width of the chest, slope of the neck in that position, that sort of thing."

    "So, aliens." O'Neill said patiently, nodding at his team member.

    "Yes sir... Aliens." She responded.

    "A species the Goa'Uld have never encountered, to my knowledge." Teal'c stated."

    "What can we infer about them?" Hammond inquired further.

    "Well, we know that either they're much hardier than we are, or their technology is a bit more advanced. If we go to P3X-221, we're bringing full Level A hazmat suits, unless we're ok with breathing our own blood." Carter said

    "Are they likely to be hostile?" the general asked.

    O'Neill shrugged. "He seems friendly enough."

    "I don't think we'll know one way or the other until we've met them sir." Daniel said tentatively.

    "Hmm. Well, I suppose we'll have to take the plunge. It's a little different when you actually know you're going to be meeting aliens beforehand, don't you think?" He said brightly.

    SG-1 grinned. Well, mostly. Teal'c nodded at least.

    "Suit up then SG-1, and do earth proud." Hammond ordered, standing up.

    "Every day sir." O'Neill answered.

    A short time later, O'Neill had, yet again, the all too tired sight of a bunch of guns aimed at his face. These ones even looked mostly like guns too, a bit more threatening than a Staff Weapon to anyone who'd seen one in action.

    "Daniel..." he said, leaning slightly toward the archeologist in the silvery suit beside him. "What do I say?"

    "I have... no idea." Daniel admitted. "Maybe you should do the Vulkan hand-thing?"

    The Colonel shrugged. "We come in Peace?" he tried, though he knew it probably didn't sound convincing coming from the other side of a P-90.

    Thankfully, one of the aliens chose that moment to march toward SG-1, shoving a marine's weapon aside and berating him softly before striding up the stone steps, his hands held up to show they were empty.

    O'Neill lowered his gun, the rest of SG-1 following suit, as well as the aliens. The first one, who'd walked up the steps toward them, let out an audible sigh, the mouthpiece of the oddly opaque visor he wore lighting up for a moment before he spoke, tentatively.

    "We... too?" he tried.

    "Well, that's good to hear. Colonel Jack O'Neill, United States Air Force, SGC... Earth." He introduced himself, holding out a hand in greeting, which the alien took midway up his forearm... close enough, he decided.

    "Gil Zvara vas Kalar." The alien answered. "We Quarians, we come in peace?" he said, slightly haltingly.

    "Yes, we got that." O'Neill reassured him, patting him on one shoulder as his arm was released. The alien-quarian?- turning to give an awkward wave to the rest of his party, many of whom shouted back in somewhat broken english.

    "If you don't mind my asking... Gil? How did you learn to speak English?" Daniel asked.

    "English is speak, yes? We use... thinker? Mather?" he said, searching through the limited vocabulary he had for the right word.

    "Computer?" Sam offered.

    "Yes! Use computer, computer learn speak english. Use words more, like "Computer", to learn faster." he said excitedly, gesticulating slightly.

    Sam blinked behind the hazmat's visor. "Wow... that's some translation program. Their computing technology must be amazing, to say nothing of their ability to put the data to use so quickly."

    "From what I gather, the Quarians will learn to speak English more quickly if we engage them in conversation. Perhaps we should introduce ourselves." Teal'c suggested.

    "Sounds good to me. Alright folks... mingle." O'Neill said, walking past the increasingly excited Gil to find someone he could discuss the Simpsons with in peace.
  23. Mmm. Delicious. Should have asked earlier, but what is the timeline for ME?
  24. Runic Arbiter

    Runic Arbiter Ascetic of the Mantle

    Late in season 1, he's said a few times.
  25. Fell

    Fell The Fattest Santa

    That's for Stargate, and I'm still not entirely sure I'll go with that. At this point, it's still open.

    The timeline for ME though, is where ME was in 1999 or thereabouts.