Elephant Seal vs Kodiak Grizzly Bear

Discussion in 'Non Sci-fi Debates' started by NAVY SEALS, Nov 14, 2006.


    NAVY SEALS Enforcer of the Sentai

    In this scenario you have a Kodiak Grizzly (10ft tall)that had gotten loose from a private zoo in Argentina it makes its way to a remote beach were it comes across a very large adult bull Elephant Seal(18ft Long). The Kodiak is hungry and move in to try and kill the seal. The Elephant Seal sees the bear and rears up to defend himself. Which of the two giants wins the melee Uber bear or uber seal?:)
  2. Vendetta

    Vendetta Internet Superhero

    Elephant Seal @ 4+ tons
    Kodiak @ little over 0.5 ton

    If I really had to put my wage packet on it, it'd go on the Elephant Seal without a second thought
  3. One slap from the bear will smash the seal's skull.

    Elephant seals are big, but can't really move worth a damn, nor do anything other than try to bite and flop into stuff.
  4. SuperS4

    SuperS4 I need a new witty Custom Title. Thoughts? "Special"

    Vendetta, largest known Elephant seal was only 3.75tons, not 4+ tons. Also, Kodiaks grow regularly to about 0.77tons, not 0.5tons.

    And to the OP, pick, Kodiak or Grizzly, they aren't the same thing. Kodiaks and Grizzlies are two seperate subspecies of brown bears, they aren't the same.
  5. piratebrido

    piratebrido internet tough guy

    I want to be mauled by a bear - that's how I want to die!

    How cool would that be!
  6. Killah

    Killah BANNED :p

    But wouldn't you just do a Austin Powers style Judo Chop on it?
  7. piratebrido

    piratebrido internet tough guy


    Check out Adelia Maestras!

    Adelia Maestras Trujillo, 93, female August 2001 Black Bear breaks into a house in New Mexico and is confronted by the elderly owner who dies during the attack.

    Best way to die EVER!!!! Shit ruined at 93 by having a square go with a bear. That's how I want to go! Can you imagine it if there were an afterlife?

    Loser one: How did you die?
    Loser two: Cancer. Killed me in 6 months. You?
    Loser one: That sucks. Stroke finished me off. How about you big sexy man beast?
    Big sexy man beast: Died trying to headbutt a bear. It tore my shit up, but I managed to get a thumb in its eye before it bit off my face.
    All: HOLY SHIT!!!!

    I just think it would be an awesome way to go. Second would be dragged into the water by an alligator and fucked up. Bear would be the best though.
  8. Brido, you're strange.
  9. Mad Luddite

    Mad Luddite Was that an attempt at humor?

    SHouldn't this go in the War Room?
  10. Citrakite

    Citrakite It's no fun if I can't trick you.

    Not unless a tank is involved or Elephant Seal is the name of a Chinese armored vehicle.

    I go with the Kodiak, Seals not going to gut the bear with those tusks and he's not a fast mover. Once the bear's on him he'll break the skull or the neck.
  11. Vendetta

    Vendetta Internet Superhero

    Elephant seal can move faster than a man can run (at a spurt), according to David Attenborough

    And their weight
  12. Actually I feel the same way. As the old indian in Legends of the Fall said "it was a good death". It beats slipping on a bananna peel and splitting your skull open on the nearest object.
  13. Vladimir Rustov

    Vladimir Rustov The Lowest Asshole

    The bear in the end. The seal can probably take a few hits to the skull (fat is a great insulator) though.
  14. Anopheles

    Anopheles I joke of many things

    saw a program recently where a starving polar bear failed to kill some walruses. Not the same I know, but hope it helps.
  15. volrath77

    volrath77 Serial Editor

    Animal Face-Off? They did a walrus vs polar bear matchup previously. IIRC from their simulation, a polar bear paw swipe will do only superficial damage to a walrus skin (thick skin+blubber). The simulated bear lost the match.

    An elephant seal would be up to 2x a walrus's weight. It may not have a walrus's tusks but its weight + swimming ability + ability to hold breath for a longer time may be the decisive factor if the fight gets into the water.
  16. Killah

    Killah BANNED :p

    If the fight get's into the water, the bear is fucked.
    It cannot hope to match a big fucking seal bludgeoning it.
  17. Bishop Gantry

    Bishop Gantry General Edmund Duke

    The word you should be using is "Awsome"

    Id give it to the Kodiak on land and in water Id give it to the Seal...
  18. Killer Clowns

    Killer Clowns Crack don't smoke itself!

    It was a young male, the older one just went into a group of walruses and killed one. The others just ran away. I believe the walrus is bigger but is ungainly on land.

    The elephant seal would loose to a experience male on land but the bear would get assraped in the water.
  19. Damar

    Damar They hate you if you're clever and despise a fool

    Christ, when the Grizzly Man was killed by a bear and i made a comment on that being a good death, everyone gave me weird looks.

    But when Brido promotes it, it's suddenly awesome?

    *Shakes head*

    I'll never understand you people.
  20. Killah

    Killah BANNED :p

    Brido attacks one.
    Bear man wants to make love to one.

  21. Cap'n Chryssalid

    Cap'n Chryssalid the armor piercing wang

    I remember that show.

    The problem, of course, is that there are documented instances of polar bears preying on walruses, even adult males. The end of that match is like a pack of lions vs cape buffalo (and the lions all die) or a leopard vs a baboon (where the leopard is killed and then raped). It could happen, but in the wild in RL, one is often enough food for the other.

    If the seal slips past the bear's claws and gets into the water... then the bear can just wait for it to get tired and come back on land. If it can wait for person in a tree to come down, it can wait for a elephant seal (assume one cannot leave the area). Inevitably the seal comes back ashore, and it dies.
  22. WHOA WHOA WHOA wait a minuite stop the bus. What is this about a baboon killing and then raping a leopard i mean WTF :eek:
  23. Killer Clowns

    Killer Clowns Crack don't smoke itself!

    Baboons are dangerous, they have been known to kill leopards, the other part might just be Captains fantasy.:p
  24. Indeed the raping part sounds crazy. On their own though I will point out that a single baboon is dead meat in a fight with a leapard, which is why they always travel in groups, thereby keeping the real dangerous predators away. The only one here in Africa that doesn't have to worry is the Lion which even in packs the baboons still shit themselves and run like hell.
  25. Cap'n Chryssalid

    Cap'n Chryssalid the armor piercing wang

    Creative license.
    The specifics of the second example had to be more outrageous than the first. How about: "mouse jumps down cat's throat and explodes out of its gut ala Alien while screaming 'eeeeeee!!'" That's how Mouse Vs. Cat ends. :wtf:

    Bear should've owned walrus in that show. I think they were trying to be 'unpredictable' or something. Bah!