Harry Is A Dragon, And That's Okay (HP AU, crack)

A Perfectly Normal Childhood For A Dragon
So this is an idea which bit me and wouldn't let go until I'd written at least this much.

Cover art here.








“Boy!”

Harry Potter blinked a few times, shaking himself awake, and yawned. “Yes, Uncle Vernon?”

“Get up! I won't have you lazing around with chores to do before school!”

“Yes, Uncle,” Harry replied, flexing to get the cricks out, then put his glasses on and turned the handle of his cupboard door. It opened, and he crawled out before curling his tail into a coil to prevent it from bashing into anything.

His wings stayed furled as he made his way into the kitchen, and began making breakfast for the whole Dursley family.

Sometimes, Harry wondered if perhaps his home life was a little bit odd, but it was a little hard to tell. Yes, he hadn't met any other dragons, and he could vaguely remember having not been a dragon at some point, but he'd almost never run into anybody who was the vaguest bit surprised. So perhaps he was a special kind of normal which everyone was used to?

He certainly wasn't like the dragons in the stories in the school library, either. Those dragons were usually big and scary and liked carrying off Princesses and stealing gold, and when they didn't do that and were nice they still grew up very quickly – but Harry was almost eleven, and he was still smaller than his cousin who wasn't even a dragon. He was like those story-book dragons because he liked to live in a lair, perhaps, but it was only the cupboard under the stairs.

As he thought about what they might be doing in school today – it was very nearly the end of their time at primary school, and that meant they might be allowed to do what they wanted – Harry absently ate the eggshells from the fried eggs he'd made, then tipped the eggs onto plates along with rashers of bacon and slices of toast.

Balancing one plate on his back and the other two on his wings, he made his way into the dining room and slid all three onto the table.

“Hm,” Aunt Petunia said. “Don't forget to do extra for Dudley, he's a growing boy.”

Harry couldn't dispute that – his cousin had certainly been growing for years, mostly outwards. So he nodded, furling his wings in case he knocked anything over. “Yes, Aunt Petunia. Is it all right if I open another packet of bacon?”

“Of course you should open another packet if there's not enough in the open one!” she told him sharply. “Now hurry up!”







Really, Harry summarized – landing in the playground with a thump ten minutes before the school bell – he could have had it a lot worse.

Oh, sure, sometimes his cousin tried to bully him, but Harry had long since learned that there wasn't really anything they could do to him. Dragons were tough enough that other boys couldn't really hurt him, and if Dudley was being annoying Harry could just fly up onto the roof and wait out the lunch hour there. It got him shouted at, but that wasn't really a huge problem either.

He wasn't really all that hungry, or uncomfortable in general, and somewhere his aunt and uncle had got the idea that shutting him in his cupboard without any food was a punishment – but they didn't like doing the chores themselves, so he was never shut in there long enough to actually become hungry.

Besides, flying was cool, and he could do a lot of that.









As Harry had expected, the teacher only spent enough time to take the register before telling them that they could do whatever they wanted for the day.

For a lot of the other children, that meant flooding out into the grounds to play ball games or run around having fun or sit in the sun, but Harry didn't like doing that much. He was pretty good at it, but it felt unfair to play a ball game because nobody else had a tail, and he had his eye on something else anyway.

It was a book from a couple of years ago which had just arrived in the school library, and it had a dragon on it. So Harry took it out and started reading, resting his head on his hands while a wing turned the pages.

It started off talking about someone called 'Carrot', which was a strange name for a person to be called, who had grown up as part of a family of dwarves in the mountains but who had just found out he was actually something else. That sounded sort of familiar to Harry, and he wondered whether there was a big city of dragons somewhere, but before he could go very far down that line of thinking his cousin interrupted him.

“Hey, Harry,” Dudley sniggered. “How come you're reading that book?”

“Why not?” Harry replied, putting a talon in the book to mark his place.

“'cause only Nobby No Mates read books when they could be outside having fun,” one of Dudley's interchangeable friends contributed.

“There's someone in this book called Nobby,” Harry replied, getting up and heading for the door. “He does have a friend, though.”

Dudley tried to grab at the book, and Harry blocked his hand with a wing. He pushed the doors open, spread both wings, and took off with a single powerful flap before landing on the school roof.

Sighing, he turned over to get the full benefit of the summer sun on his wings and belly, and continued reading.

It was quite a funny book, really.







Harry was still thinking about the book as he flew home.

There had been at least two kinds of dragons in the book, perhaps three, but Harry was quite sure he wasn't like any of them. He certainly wasn't a swamp dragon, those were all smelly and full of chemicals and they kept exploding, and Harry hadn't exploded even once no matter what he ate.

The second kind of dragon was the noble dragon, and those sounded a bit more like it but Harry was quite sure he wasn't one of those either. They sounded quite nasty, but more importantly they were all very big, and Harry wasn't nearly big enough.

The third kind of dragon was the silliest of all, and Harry was fairly sure he wasn't one of those either. If he was, he'd have blown the house up and achieved orbit some time last Christmas when he ate all the leftover Brussels Sprouts.

Still, those were story book dragons, and he was a real dragon. It wouldn't be surprising if real dragons were a bit different – like how real people were different to people in storybooks. After all, writing about real things was boring.








When Harry arrived back home, Aunt Petunia barely gave him a glance before telling him to sort out the garden. So that was what Harry did, cutting the dead-heads off the flower bushes (and eating them) and trimming the hedge (by eating it).

It was one of his favourite chores, and he sometimes thought it was a bit of a pity that he didn't have that job in winter. The cold had never really bothered him, and nor had the heat, but plants grew more in the summer so there wasn't as much point doing the gardening in the winter.

That done, and with the whole garden looking pristine, Harry moved on to cleaning up the inside of the house. All the things that Dudley had dropped but somehow not broken went up into the smallest bedroom, which currently served as Dudley's overflow for his hoard – or, rather, his possessions, though Harry thought of it as a hoard and had consequently found himself feeling quite empathetic with his larger, less-reptilian cousin.

The things which had actually broken and which weren't repairable, Harry followed a scrupulous pattern with. He took them to his aunt, asked what he should do, and then – when she inevitably told him to throw them away – ate them.

Funny little electronic games were actually quite tasty, with all sorts of flavours, and even a wooden toy could be appetizing. It was probably a valuable supplement to his diet or something, though Harry had never seen a version of the Food Pyramid which applied to dragons so he wasn't quite sure.

Then it was time for dinner to be prepared, and Harry did a lot of that as well – fetching, carrying, stirring for long boring periods, chopping things up with the knife… it only made sense for him to do the chopping, because the knife was sharp and his skin was essentially impervious to damage with a stainless steel knife (Harry had tried an experiment when he was nine, to see if his talons could be trimmed) so he was less in danger than Aunt Petunia would be. He was also learning a lot about cooking, as well, which was nice – even if he didn't use it for himself, being able to eat pretty much anything he'd ever tried, it would be good to be able to provide food for more human friends in future.

That, then, was Harry's general routine. In the holidays there was less school and only the same amount of chores, which usually meant more flying practice; he was quite good at it now, and it was something he was sure other dragons practiced a lot as well so it would be good to stay in shape for it.
 
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A Most Peculiar Flood Of Letters
One fine day towards the end of July, the post clattered to the doormat.

“Get the post,” Uncle Vernon grumbled.

Harry was already headed that way when his uncle asked, absently snacking on the empty milk carton, and swallowed it down with a gulp before picking up the letters.

There was one for Dudley – probably a late birthday card of some sort – and two or three others, but at the bottom of the pile was one with an address in green ink.

Harry Potter

The Cupboard Under The Stairs

4, Privet Drive

Little Winging

Surrey.

Tilting his head, Harry looked for a long moment at the very first letter he'd ever received.

Then he headed back to the breakfast table, stuffing the letter under the door of his cupboard on the way past, and handed the other letters out to their recipients.

The green-inked letter was the first time he'd ever got something addressed to him, and he was going to savour it.






It was mid-morning by the time the young drake finally managed to retire to his lair and examine the green-inked letter.

Whatever it was written on seemed to be quite thick, and felt different to the more normal paper he was used to. It also smelled a bit more strongly than paper did, but maybe that was just the way it was made – so Harry ignored that, and opened the letter up to see what it said.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,

Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

At this point Harry frowned, wondering what most of those words meant. He'd heard of witchcraft and wizardry, or at least of witches and wizards, usually in the same books which had dragons in them. But this sounded like it wasn't a story-book thing but a real thing?

Except that Merlin was definitely a story person, and what was a Sorc? He didn't have a clue what a Mugwump was, either…

On the whole, so far the letter was very confusing. So Harry read on.

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Well, it was certainly a letter that was meant for him, but he didn't remember doing any tests to be accepted into any schools with that sort of name. There had been the Eleven-Plus, which he'd done earlier that year, but Aunt Petunia had insisted that she wasn't going to pay to send him to a Grammar School after Dudley had failed and so had made sure he wasn't going to one of those.

Harry wasn't sure she understood how a Grammar School worked. But maybe this odd Hogwarts school had picked him because of that?

Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

And that was just odd. The list was certainly there, folded up underneath the main letter, but what did the bit about an owl mean?

A quick look at the equipment list did mention an owl, but that was a kind of pet and it was an option. Maybe they had an owl shortage? But if they did, Harry didn't think it would make any kind of sense for them to ask for owl donations from students.

Shrugging his wings, he skipped the signature and read through the list of required equipment.

The uniform seemed simple enough at first, robes and a pointed hat were a bit strange but he'd heard of sillier things in school uniforms, but the gloves made him stop and stare at the paper for a moment.

Dragon hide gloves?

Harry wondered if that meant this was actually a dragon school. It made a lot more sense that they'd be sending him a letter specifically because he was a dragon, but maybe it meant he'd done something wrong?

Last time he'd molted he'd been unsure what to do with it, and after some experimentation and plenty of mistakes the best he'd managed was to make a rain hat that covered his glasses. If he'd been supposed to save the bits that went over his paws, and he hadn't, maybe that would mean he'd be in trouble before even going there?

But that couldn't be right, could it? Molts happened because he needed to have a growth spurt, and all the old bits of molt skin were too small for him now. So maybe it was more complicated than that?

Muttering under his breath about this strange list of what he needed for school, Harry read down the list of course books – memorizing them and making a note of checking the local library later – and then the other equipment sounded even stranger.

Pewter? Well, pewter was sort of nice-tasting, if difficult to get hold of – the only place he'd managed to get any was some old toys Aunt Marge had given Dudley which Aunt Petunia had thrown out once Dudley had managed to break them all. But if this was a real school, especially if it was a real dragon school, then how did they stop the students from eating the cauldrons?

Maybe it was like pencils and pens, where you weren't supposed to eat them until they were no longer useful?

And the last bit of the letter said that students could bring a pet – an owl, or a cat, or a toad.

Harry sat down, thinking about that.

Well, owls were apparently running out anyway, so it wasn't a good idea to catch one of those if there was a shortage. And cats might be a bit better, but that one lady's cats kept freaking out whenever they saw him.

Harry briefly wondered how long it was since he'd actually met her – it felt like years! - but shrugged that off, and pondered briefly whether he should try and find a toad in the garden before deciding against it.

Now he'd finished it, a lot of it didn't really make much sense. Maybe it was some of that junk mail that Uncle Vernon kept talking about, which was always a bit of an odd name for it to Harry because he was fairly sure it was Americans who called letters mail and British people said post. That was why they had postboxes.





The next day, another letter arrived for Harry addressed in the same green ink.

Just as he had the first day, he put it in his cupboard on the way past, and as soon as he got some free time he was lying on his back with his tail halfway up the wall as he compared them.

Much to his surprise – and disappointment – the second letter explained no more than the first. In fact, the second letter explained exactly as much as the first had, being identical in every way.

Harry shrugged, put it with the first, and went about his day.






On the third day, the post arrived when Aunt Petunia was closer to the door. She picked up the letters, gasped, and hurried to show them to Uncle Vernon.

The two adults exchanged worried looks out of all proportion to how important simple junk mail was, in Harry's opinion – then tried to hide them away from him when he craned his neck to look.

“Stop it!” Aunt Petunia ordered. “Vernon, make him stop it!”

“I just want to see if it's another one of those letters,” Harry explained politely, as Uncle Vernon completely failed to push Harry away. “I've read two already, they're exactly the same and they seem quite silly.”

“You've read one?” Uncle Vernon demanded. “How did you get your hands on one of those… those… freakish letters?”

“I got the post,” Harry pointed out, quite reasonably as far as he was concerned. “It's a pity, really, it's the first time there's been a letter addressed to me and it's all total nonsense. Something about a school that's taking donations of owls and wants me to bring pewter along or something, but they didn't give an address or a phone number.”

He held out his paw. “If you want I'll put them down in my cupboard? That way they'll be out of the way, at least.”







Harry had to demonstrate that he did indeed have two opened letters – and point out the things about them which just seemed ridiculous – but ultimately his case was made, and Aunt Petunia somewhat reluctantly surrendered the three letters that had arrived that day to his care.

That made a total of five, though about half of them were still in their envelopes, and Harry sighed a little as he looked at his new collection.

They were nice, and they were certainly his, but he did wish they made a bit more sense.






On the fourth day, there were ten letters on the doormat.

They all ended up in Harry's cupboard again, but Harry also spent half an hour helping Uncle Vernon hold up planks while his uncle hammered nails into the door. The planks blocked the letterbox off, which seemed a little bit extreme to the ten-year-old drake, but he had to admit that it was just getting annoying by now.

Surely it had to cost more to send all these letters than anyone could get back? And what did they think he was doing with the letters, exactly?

Harry's tail lashed back and forth as he contemplated exactly what the mysterious letter-sender could be thinking. Maybe they thought the letters were being used for firewood?

Then he nearly tripped his cousin up as Dudley ran up the stairs, and got sent to his cupboard again. Harry passed the time by opening another three envelopes and trying to see if he could do origami with them.






Despite Harry's vague mixture of anticipation and worry about the subject, no letters made their way through the letterbox on the fifth day.

The whole household had been up early enough for it, on tenterhooks to see if the plank plan would work, but by the time Harry began breakfast – an hour later than normal – they had all decided that Uncle Vernon's unorthodox plan had worked.

Humming a tune he'd overheard on the television through his cupboard door, Harry cracked the first egg into the frying pan.

A rolled-up letter came out, instead of a white and a yolk, and fell into the pan with a faint sizzle. Frowning, Harry fetched it out – not fearing the hot oil, because dragons didn't seem to have much truck with being uncomfortable because of being hot – and put it to the side before cracking the second egg.

A letter tumbled out of that one as well, and Harry looked properly at it this time. Sure enough, it was addressed in emerald green ink.

“Aunt Petunia?” he called.

“What is it?” his aunt asked, walking into the kitchen. “I told you, two eggs each for Dudders and Vernon, and...”

She paused, staring at the empty eggshells, the lack of eggs in the frying pan, and the rolled-up letters.

Harry took the opportunity to crack a third egg, from the box of twelve, and a letter came out of that one as well.

“Oh,” Aunt Petunia said.

As she watched, Harry cracked egg after egg – going through the entire dozen – and got nothing but rolled-up letters.

“Should I do extra bacon and toast instead?” he asked.

“Yes, of course you should,” she told him. “Vernon! Vernon, they did something!”

Harry listened with half an ear to the conversation, most of the rest of his attention on salvaging the already late breakfast. To save time, he ate while he was making it – both the eggshells, and the letters, which tasted really quite good.

He'd actually intended to only have one, but it tasted a lot better than paper usually did, and Harry ate eight of them before catching himself so he would have a few to add to his as-yet-tiny hoard.

Maybe that was why they were able to keep students from nibbling on things like cauldrons or pets? If paper there tasted this much better than normal paper, then it would be the way he'd make sure.







On day six, a few days before Harry's birthday, nothing happened on the letter front all morning.

There still weren't any eggs – Aunt Petunia had refused to get any more – and so breakfast was large slices of toast with bacon and sausages instead. After that Dudley had vanished upstairs to play on his specially imported games console from Japan, and Harry spent most of the morning tidying the living room.

Aunt Petunia had told him to do it without the vacuum cleaner to avoid disturbing Dudley, which was fair enough, and he was nearly finished scrubbing the carpets when a letter flew down the chimney.

And then another.

Harry stepped back a little warily, taking care not to knock over the soap bucket, and a flood of hundreds of letters came cascading out the fireplace – propelled with great force, some of them floating in the air and others crashing into the sofas or armchairs and falling to the ground.

When the deluge finally stopped, Harry rolled his eyes and snorted something he'd heard one of the kids at school call him. Then he began picking up the letters, twenty at a time, and moving them into his cupboard.

He'd feel a lot better about these letters if they didn't keep making life harder for him.






Some hours later, as he bedded down on an inch-high layer of parchment, Harry was feeling a bit more mellow towards the strange letters that had tried to literally flood into the house. Maybe it was the taste, or maybe it was how they did improve the comfort of his sleeping arrangements, but Harry felt like lying on top of all these things that were his was somehow… right.

Maybe this was what dragons actually hoarded? Harry knew that some dragons in the stories hoarded gold, though others didn't hoard anything at all, but the dragons in the stories were all a long time ago and gold wasn't used for money any more. It was all paper now, at least the valuable things were – some money was coins but they weren't worth as much.

And if dragons hoarded gold in the olden days even if it wasn't coins – and Harry definitely remembered there being shiny non-coin things in hoards in books – then maybe dragons these days hoarded paper even if it wasn't banknotes.





The next morning the chimney had been boarded up as well. Harry frowned at the sight, and asked Uncle Vernon whether maybe letters would come around the side of the door instead, and that prompted another half hour of hammering as Uncle Vernon boarded up all the sides of both the front door and the back door as well.

Fortunately Aunt Petunia had gone shopping the day before, so they had quite a lot of food in the fridge and in the cupboards, and for a wonder the day passed relatively normally – which meant that Harry's aunt and uncle relaxed a bit as no letters came through the pipes or out from under the wallpaper, and Dudley even asked Harry to come and play on the Super Nintendo with him.

Well, it was more like demanded, because Dudley wanted to play a two-player game, but Harry would take what he could get. At least it was one where you had to work with the other player.






When he woke up on Tuesday, Harry's tail flicked a little from side to side as he wondered whether he'd get anything for his birthday the next day.

It was sometimes a bit of a matter of chance whether he did at all. In the past Harry had been quite upset about that, but he'd learned to think philosophically, and really when you thought about it a lot of the things Dudley got were things Harry didn't want to get anyway.

Lying on his papery hoard, he wondered whether maybe it would be nice to get some books. Books, or storybooks anyway, were something he enjoyed which he knew Dudley didn't like… and maybe that was because he was a dragon who hoarded paper, like he'd decided the previous day?

As he thought about that and other deep thoughts, there was an almighty crash from upstairs accompanied by a shriek from Aunt Petunia.

“Pet?” Uncle Vernon called, loud enough for everyone in the house to hear. “What happened?”

Another crash and a slithering noise came from overhead, the latter progressing quickly down the stairs, and Harry got up and out of his cupboard to behold a truly massive pile of letters on the landing.

“The loft!” Aunt Petunia said, trying to put the words together. “I was going to go up into the loft and – absolutely filled with letters! They fell out!”

Harry began carting the letters back to his cupboard in big pawsful, wondering how many he could fit in before he'd have to start eating them instead.






Late that night, as the clock crept towards midnight, Harry slept on his new bed.

Lounging atop a pile of possessions, even such strange possessions in such an unusual situation, had made him feel terribly right. Perhaps it was just that he was doing something that dragons traditionally did, but then again he'd never felt the need to use his fire breath – it was awfully dangerous, and while he could do it… it just felt like a tool, something he could do. While his new bed felt entirely different.

Consequently, his slumber was deep and even – his tail curled around under his wing, half-rolled over onto his side, his neck and all his other body parts bent a trifle awkwardly to fit, but he was long used to that by now and it hadn't even made it hard for him to drop off to sleep.

In the sitting room, the clock ticked, and then all three hands lined up – midnight.

And there was a thunderous knock at the door.

Harry shifted slightly, tucking his head under his wing, and continued dreaming a dream about his old Primary schoolteacher running a charity book sale to raise funds for replacement owls.












(AN)
The basic concept is in the title, but to elaborate a bit more:
Harry turned into a dragon at some point in primary school, and it was long enough ago he doesn't remember it very well.
None of the non-magicals have so much as noticed, thanks to an unintended side-effect of old spells intended to prevent Muggles from noticing dragons flying overhead. Essentially they see nothing odd or memorable about his body shape at all, and forget to pass it on to anyone else.
Harry's type of dragon is unclear, and will probably remain so. He's very tough, but he only weighs about as much as a typical ten- or eleven-year-old (so more than he weighed in the actual first book of the series at this point, but Dudley weighs a lot more than he does).
He's also had quite a happy childhood, if an odd one.

Oh, yes, and this is a rather silly story. That happens to almost everything I do anyway, so I felt I may as well say it out loud.

This is 1991, naturally, which means that the book Harry reads in the introduction is "Guards! Guards!" and that Dudley has a Super Famicom imported from Japan - specifically he's playing Final Fight in the appropriate scene. (In a later canon book he's playing a PlayStation before it came out anywhere in the world historically, so this seems entirely sensible.)
 
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What the..?!

You seriously have a problem with the format of your story: There are HUGE spaces between the paragraphs.

That said, cool idea, but the writing isn't very plausible. A dragon managing to hide himself in London suburban?
 
...I foresee many amusing times ahead in following this story. ;)
What the..?!

You seriously have a problem with the format of your story: There are HUGE spaces between the paragraphs.

That said, cool idea, but the writing isn't very plausible. A dragon managing to hide himself in London suburban?
It's crack humour. 'Nuff said.
 

Actualize

Is So Meta Even This Acronym
Subscriber
This is surprisingly great, really fun and engaging lol. I guess that means that the magicals can see him? I'm surprised they haven't seen him already, tbh.
 
You seriously have a problem with the format of your story: There are HUGE spaces between the paragraphs.
Sorry, I was using gaps of about five newlines on my word doc and it seems to have been doubled at least by the transfer across. (ED: hope that works better?)

That said, cool idea, but the writing isn't very plausible. A dragon managing to hide himself in London suburban?
Yes, Muggles don't notice anything out of the ordinary (as noted in the AN, along with all the hints in the story like Harry assuming turning into a dragon is normal because nobody noticed). Harry isn't so much hiding as just not noticing he's unusual.


This is surprisingly great, really fun and engaging lol. I guess that means that the magicals can see him? I'm surprised they haven't seen him already, tbh.
Well, they're quite rare in Surrey (or in general, there's not all that many in the country and most prefer to live in Wizarding communities).
Though one did just knock on the door. As you can imagine, Rubeus Hagrid's reaction to the cute little black dragon is going to be... interesting.
 

Mannfred Von Carstein

Continuing the trend of Best Grills as avatars
Imagine if Harry had been seen by a muggleborn, before they had gotten their letter.

“Mummy, look, a dragon!”
“There’s not a dragon there, they don’t exist.”
“But there is, really! I see it!”
“Hush child, you’re making a scene.”

Cue several years later.

“I told you so!”

I’m certainly amused.
 

ForestGardener

In the woods
Imagine if Harry had been seen by a muggleborn, before they had gotten their letter.

“Mummy, look, a dragon!”
“There’s not a dragon there, they don’t exist.”
“But there is, really! I see it!”
“Hush child, you’re making a scene.”
"Of course dragons exist, I am one after all."
"See Mummy, he agrees with me!"
*Sigh* "Kids."
"You know, you're the first person to actually comment on my being a dragon."
"What, really? No way!"

And either they are forced to part ways in the next twenty seconds, never to see each other again, or they become friends within the next two minutes.
 
Harry obviously using SEP Field
Pretty much, though without his knowing what that is (as he's basically piggybacking on an old one that covers at least the island of Great Britain).

His reading has understandably biased rather more towards fantasy than science fiction. I'm undecided whether this means he'd be very wary indeed about the danger of a soul being contained within, say... an invisibility cloak.
He may have made an exception for some of the books of McCaffrey, though, which are technically science fiction but much more importantly are about dragons - Dragonsdawn and Renegades have come out by this point, so the SF side of things would be clear, but All the Weyrs of Pern is published 1991.
 
Anyone else reminded of the HP/Shadowrun story with harry as a Greater Dragon? Complete with "eat everything", minus "eating the Dursleys out of house and home"?
 
Anyone else reminded of the HP/Shadowrun story with harry as a Greater Dragon? Complete with "eat everything", minus "eating the Dursleys out of house and home"?
Yes, Enter the Dragon by Doghead Thirteen. I'm going to do my best to make this story distinct, in more ways than the "not visible to normies" and the "not flippin' enormous yet" ways.
 

HawaiianOnline

Macross Fan
Super Awesome Happy Funtime
For some reason, I can see this Harry muttering Smaug quotes....

I am fire.... I am DEATH....”

What was that Harry?

Oh nothing Hagrid...
 
I am fire.... I am DEATH....”
That would be terribly impolite. Harry has read The Hobbit and concluded he's clearly not that sort of dragon, both because of his behavioural preferences and because he doesn't have a vulnerable spot on his chest. (He's tested it with a fork, because it would be good to know that sort of thing.)
Of course, depending how close to canon things go, he might well end up being both anyway. It all depends whether Slytherin's Ring fits on his talons and whether the Invisibility Cloak can fit anywhere without fouling his wings by that point.
 

MangoFlan

Polite Guardian of Corruption
Do you think that perhaps Harry eats magic? That could be why the letters are tasty. They're just magical.

It could also be the cause of why the electronic games were also tasty. Technology has a magic of its own, and sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
 

Nitramy

WELCOME TO BABYLONIA
Would have been funnier if Harry discovered the Cody jab trick and tried to teach it to Dudley but had difficulties because, you know, DRAGON.
 
Harry's Giant Dose Of Wizards - 1
The loud knocking gradually penetrated into Harry's dreaming thoughts, and then there was a crash which most mornings would have had him jolting awake.

He had only had a couple of hours of sleep, though, and so he slowly mumbled his way toward wakefulness – the paper he was lying on rustling below him as he shifted.

“…how dare you! Breaking into our house in the middle of the night!”

“Shut up, Dursley, you daft old prune...”

“...what will the neighbours think?”

Still sort of muzzy, Harry yawned quietly.

“...'Arry Potter?”

“No, I'm Dudley Dursley...”

Fumbling around, Harry found the door to his cupboard and opened it. The piles of letters had been destabilized a bit by his movement, and he slid out into the hallway.

“What time is it?” he asked, yawning, then looked at the wall clock. “Five past midnight? Mf, it's too early...”

He turned to look at the cause of the noise, and saw a really quite amazingly tall man hunched in the entryway.

“Is something the matter?” he asked, fetching his glasses with his tail and putting them on his muzzle.

“...Merlin's beard,” the very tall man said, his jaw slowly dropping. Harry tilted his head in confusion, and the man pointed at him.

“You're a dragon?” he asked.

“Yes?” Harry replied. “You're the first person to mention that, actually.”

“Dragon?” Uncle Vernon said. “What's this about dragon? Is this more freak nonsense?”

“Freak!?” the big man roared. “He's not a freak, he's a cute little talking dragon – just look at 'im! Never seen a talking dragon before, but 'e looks...”

The big man paused, a smile spreading across his big bearded face.

“'e doesn't look like any of the dragons I know,” the man added, as Harry padded a little closer and kicked a letter out of the way. “But it all looks beautiful, them wings and everything.”

Then he finally seemed to lose whatever internal conflict had been going on, and swept the startled Harry up in a bear-hug.

After the initial shock, Harry was surprised to find he actually quite enjoyed the experience.










Twenty or so minutes later, the Dursleys had more-or-less given up shouting at the giant man – who Harry had learned was named Hagrid, and who had waved a big pink umbrella about to put the door back where it had started. Neither Aunt Petunia nor Uncle Vernon were really happy about the whole situation, but it seemed to Harry that they couldn't just stand there shouting at Hagrid for all that long in the middle of the night.

When he'd pointed this entirely sensible point out, the two adults had shouted a bit more, but then gone back upstairs with bad grace and locked their bedroom door.

“Still can't believe I found a talking dragon,” Hagrid said, shaking his head as he examined Harry's wing shoulder. “And to find one in a Muggle house, too...”

“What's a Muggle?” Harry asked, curious, lowering his wing once Hagrid had finished looking at the joints. “Is that what Aunt Petunia was called before she got married?”

“What's that?” Hagrid asked. “No, no, she was an Evans. Must have been. Like Lily.”

He paused, then frowned. “Oh, shouldn't have forgotten that. Came here with a job. Don't suppose you know which bedroom's called the cupboard under the stairs, do you?”

“That's my bedroom,” Harry answered. “It's not very big but it feels nice and lair-y. Why's that?”

“Well, I'm after Harry Potter, that's why,” Hagrid explained. “It's his birthday, an' I was told by Professor Dumbledore to deliver his Hogwarts letter.”

“Oh, are you where all those letters came from?” Harry asked, picking up one of the ones which had spilled out of the cupboard. “I was wondering, but I'm afraid a lot of it didn't make sense.”

Hagrid paused, looking from Harry to the door he'd come out of, then his gaze went to Harry's forehead.

Harry wasn't sure why. It was one of the places his otherwise-black scales had a little marking on them, a small thunderbolt-like shape… but was that unusual for a dragon or not?

Maybe it was.

“It can't be,” Hagrid said slowly. “You're Harry Potter?”

“Yes?” Harry replied. “Is there a reason I shouldn't be?”

He twisted his head to look back at himself, in case he'd changed colour while he wasn't looking, and Hagrid put a hand on the curve of Harry's neck.

“You might not remember me, 'Arry,” he began. “But I helped Professor Dumbledore bring you here nearly ten years ago, so you'd be safe. But you weren't no dragon then.”

“I know,” Harry replied matter-of-factly. “I was very confused when I changed into one, but that was a long time ago and I sort of assumed it was normal when nobody made any comment on it.”

“They haven't?” Hagrid asked, now confused. “But… ah, that might be it. There's all sorts of magic what stops Muggles from seeing things they ain't supposed to see, and I remember my old Creatures professor telling me as how dragons is one of them things.”

Harry digested that, then opened the letter he'd picked up earlier.

“So this isn't a letter for a dragon school?” he asked. “Why on earth would we need pewter cauldrons, then?”

This seemed to have stumped the big man.

“Cauldrons?” he repeated. “Well… for potions, o' course. What else?”

“I thought snacks,” Harry suggested. “Perhaps as a way to prevent the owl shortage.”

Hagrid looked confused by that, then shook his head. “No, Hogwarts ain't a dragon school, Harry… it's a school for wizards, like you.”

“I'm a wizard?” Harry repeated. “I thought I was a dragon.”

“Well, yer a dragon too, o' course,” Hagrid said. “But yer a wizard, or you wouldn't be accepted. Like how I was.”

He patted the drake on the back. “Yer mum and dad were a witch and a wizard too. Though neither of 'em ever turned into a dragon…”

“They were?” Harry asked, interested, and not surprised by the bit about neither of his parents turning into a dragon. “Well, my uncle and aunt told me they died in a car crash-”

“A CAR CRASH!?” Hagrid bellowed.

“-but if magic is meant to be secret then I can see why they said that,” Harry went on, thinking hard, and absently scraping some letters over with his wing as he did so.

That announcement took the wind out of Hagrid's sails, and he mumbled something about that making sense actually.

“Could you tell me about them?” Harry went on, then yawned. “I, ummm… sorry, it's still very late…”

“'course I'll tell you about James and Lily,” Hagrid promised. “Could do it over cake, too, I picked one up for your birthday. 'course, I didn't know you were a dragon then...”

Harry's tail flicked from side to side a little, but then he yawned again.

Thinking about it, he decided that his aunt and uncle probably wouldn't mind if he slept on the sofa so long as he kept his claws out of the seats. So, with Hagrid's bemused and interested help, he put some of the letters on the sofa and bedded down to resume his interrupted slumber.







(Obviously shorter than the full-chapters I've posted already, but this one's just the first part.)
 
There are several ways that Harry and Hagrid could get to Diagon Alley for their shopping (after of course Harry's actual introduction to the Owl Post, with Hagrid's Prophet subscription arriving). The Knight Bus has the pro that it's got basically the same "don't notice me" effect that Harry himself has, while the flying motorcycle Hagrid got off Sirius might not work well in the daytime but is also a possibility. (The third option is the South Western Main Line to London Victoria or Waterloo, and then by Tube or walking; Harry isn't big enough to carry Hagrid long-distance, though may be able to get a school trunk far enough to reach the tube network at Richmond.)
 
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