Honey Badger vs. Wolverine

Discussion in 'Vs. Debates' started by Jeopardizer, Nov 29, 2012.

  1. In the left corner we have He Who Thirst, The Bringer of Sorrow, The Highest Evil, Emperor of the Plains and All-Ender, the Honey Badger!


    In the opposite corner, may I present to you The Herald of Oblivion, King of the snowy lands, Inspirator of Bad-Asses and Ever-Hunter, the Wolverine!


    The fight happens in a sealed but still ventilated 10 meters by 10 by 10 room. No side has access to any tool but what nature has given them nor may enjoy terminal velocity.

    Who wins?
    Laluzi and espp like this.
  2. o 055 o

    o 055 o You didn't see that coming?

    Honey Badger don't care, Honey Badger smacks the shit out of Wolverine!
    espp likes this.
  3. Number3124

    Number3124 of the Ahforgetit Tendancy...

    I am sorry, but I do believe that the wolverine first bites, then shreds, then eviscerates, then eats the honey badger. The honey badger don't give a shit because he no longer has bowls with which to shit.
    Princess Bubblegum, Terminus and espp like this.
  4. CIDE

    CIDE I had something for this

    Personality-wise and tactic-wise aren't they basically the same creature? Just used to different climates and one (the wolverine) is bigger?
    The Imperator likes this.
  5. Are we going by memetics or by facts? Factually, the wolverine would probably win. Memetically ... still the wolverine. HBs may not care, but wolverines can regenerate from being nuked :p
    Number3124 likes this.
  6. o 055 o

    o 055 o You didn't see that coming?

    Honey Badgers are hardcore too though:

  7. euph_22

    euph_22 Arbiter

    Wolverine rips honey badger apart with his Adamantium claws.
    Splattercat likes this.
  8. espp

    espp Je suis Marxiste, tendance Groucho.

    The Wolverine shall win, because the eyes, those eyes... I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight :eek::p.
    Gaius Marius likes this.
  9. shipmastersane

    shipmastersane Bathing in the precious election salts

  10. DrStrangelove

    DrStrangelove Self-appointed Opiate of the Masses

  11. Honey badgers are what wolverines want to be when they grow up. Let me know when a wolverine survives repeated machete strikes, repeated bites from a puff adder or has ripped the testicles off a lion.

    The honey badger is so badass it had this named after it.

  12. DrStrangelove

    DrStrangelove Self-appointed Opiate of the Masses

    Wolverines have killed Bears, its a bigger meaner honey badger thats always pissed because it lives in the cold
    CIDE likes this.
  13. How does it kill the bear and is this an often occurence?, because ripping/biting the testicles off a big cat is a common occurrence, as is a lion/lioness actually turning around and going "you know what, this isn't worth it" You realise the honey badgers victims of balls removal all bleed to death. And more pissed off? Honey badger is in the Guinness Book of Records for its bravery/aggression for the last few years, the wolverine... isn't. And being slightly bigger doesn't mean that match when you consider how tough a honey badgers skin is. It can take repeated strikes from a goddamn machete and it will still flip you the middle claw and eat all your poor chickens.
  14. TheMuffinKing

    TheMuffinKing Ultima Ratio Regum

    The Ratel? All questions, joking, or B.S. aside, IMHO South Africa produced some of the most awesome wheeled IFV's and MRAP's ever seen. EDIT: also their wheeled SPG is a study in awesomness.
  15. Yup. If the Ratel was actually a piece of crap I wouldn't have used the pic but it is pure awesome on wheels.
  16. KnightErrant

    KnightErrant You came to the wrong fiefdom! Moderator

    Wolverines are bigger versions of honey Badgers.

    Lone Wolverines have been documented in killing moose, bears and Buck deers, but they do prefer to go after Moose and deers after they have been weakened by the cold or are stuck in snow drifts.


    The Wolverine operates also by stealing kills from other predators, letting htem do the work of killing the deer/moose and then just straight up going 'dis be MY kill now bitches' and chasing them away so IT can eat it.
  17. I'm sorry, I can't hear you above the noise of the honey badger eating a puff adder.
  18. Tavi

    Tavi Sleeping - or am I?

    The two animals stare at eachother.

    HB: Bro.
    W: Bro.
    HB: You said you'd call.
    W: Bull. You said you'd call.

    There is a pause as they glare at eachother.

    HB: Fuckit. We've got more important things to worry about. A bunch of humans have stuck us in here because they want to see us fight.
    W: Yeah. I am...not happy about that.
    HB: So what do we do?
    W: I say we go oldschool.
    HB: Break out and kill everyone?
    W: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    HB: I like this plan. On count of three....
  19. o 055 o

    o 055 o You didn't see that coming?


  20. So he's just making stuff up?
  21. Nop, wolverines can actually kill bears, they just don't always win. I don't have the sources on hand but I can try to dig them up if you want.

    And let's not kid ourselves, I'm pretty sure honey badgers don't always win against lions either, some must have failed. :p
  22. How the hell is it supposed to win?, I'd love to see the source for this. I mean, when I bring up the testicle thing, that actually makes sense because the badger is a mean motherfucker who goes for the family jewels because he knows there is no other way to win. What is the wolverine supposed to do? Gnaw the bear to death over the course of a few hours while it sits there and lets it?
  23. Well, they can go for the family jewels too I guess, but apparently they mostly go for the throat, crushing the windpipe or just ripping it out, or the face (they have pretty strong jaws) while the larger predator (wolf or bear) will try to shake it off wich isn't that easy when he clings to your throat/chest.

    As for accounts from the wikipedia page where 'o 055 o' found the story of the black bear winning there is an account of a wolverine killing a polar bear. And here is a page from a forum where several accounts of wolverines killing bears solo or in group are shared. (That's all I found by typing 'wolverine vs bear' on google, I will see if I can't dig up more.)
  24. Forgetful

    Forgetful Nuka Chemist


    They have children.
  25. SableCold

    SableCold Lurker

    Both are part of the Weasel family with Wolverines being acknowledged as the biggest of the family.

    And I don't care what got named after the Honey badgers, but Wolverines got Marvel Superheroes, BT Battlemechs and Clans named after them.
    espp likes this.