Intro and Part 1.1
WARNING: CONTAINS RICK AND MORTY SPOILERS.
Hi guys! This is the first time I’ve posted to SB. I’ve written product copy professionally for a while now, but have never tried an actual story. The only reason I did this snippet was because I missed Krombopulous' character. If ya’ll enjoy the premise and style, I’ll try to crank out some more.
Summary: Instead of a boring old Shard, Taylor receives the spirit of Krombopulous Michael, the friendly intergalactic assassin. Can an idealistic girl make a difference with the help of one cheerful hitman?
Caveats:
-You do NOT need knowledge of Rick and Morty for this story, but if you haven’t seen the show, you should go watch it anyways.
-There will be some technological hand-waving involved, so if you’re a “hard” sci-fi fan, this story may not be for you.
-Constructive criticism is welcome. Empty negativity and ad hominem attacks are not.
-I’ve probably read more Worm fanfic than the original material at this point, so I may occasionally fall victim to “The Fanon.” Sorry.
<*><*><*>
Krombopulous Michael, hired killer extraordinaire, leveled his newly acquired antimatter pistol at the Target and began to pull the trigger. Unfortunately, a bare fraction of a second before he could discharge his weapon, a small intergalactic vessel plowed through the wall behind him and crushed him neatly against the floor. Thus, the assassin’s life came to a sudden and somewhat anticlimactic close.
Normally, his physical demise would result in his soul’s migration to planes unknown. However, the fatal crash also caused a fractional loosening of one of the dimensional-locking bonds that held the Target in place. For an instant, a pulse of instability rippled across the boundaries that defined the current dimension. The end result was that Krombopulous’ ascending essence, in effect, slipped through the cracks of the universe. The collection of desires and memories that made up Krombopulous Michael slid across the infinite strata of the multi-verse, following the path of least resistance.
Then, suddenly, a semi-static point appeared in the roiling chaos. It was not quite an empty vessel, as the cycle of rebirth usually demanded, but it was well-suited for another soul to take root. To Krombopulous, it shone like a glittering lighthouse in a sea of darkness.
He drew closer to the Vessel, but was intercepted by another presence.
[PROVENANCE?]
It did not speak, as such, but rather issued forth a packet of direct meaning.
“Howdy,” Krombopulous sent in reply.
[DESTINATION?]
“Oh, I’m headed down there.” He tried to point, but realized he no longer had claws.
[NEGATION. LINK PRIORITY ESTABLISHED. ADJUST TRAJECTORY.]
“Hmm, I guess you had dibs on that body. You sure you can’t let me have this one?”
[NEGATION.]
“Oh, boy. Well, sorry about this, then.”
Krombopulous slid forward and seized the other presence. He wasn’t totally clear on the particular mechanics of the situation, but even as an incorporeal thought-form, he was a competent and enthusiastic killer. He began to quickly disassemble the other entity.
[NEGATION. NEGATION. SEVERE DAMAGE DETECTED. NEGATION. FATAL ERROR.]
“Yeah, that’s usually how it is.”
After a brief struggle, the other presence dissolved.
“Well, that was refreshing. Time to go.” He gathered his strength and descended.
<*><*><*>
I had never screamed so loudly in my life. I still wanted to scream, but I could no longer manage anything more than a hoarse gurgle. I tried to control my breathing, but each breath brought more of the rot, the hideously pungent smell of decaying blood that singed my sinuses. I might have blacked out a few times, although I couldn’t be sure.
Worse than anything, though, worse than the pain and the fear, was the despair. The bald, unflinching certainty that I was completely helpless and that no one was going to save me. I was going to die covered in filth, with people barely a few feet away, because I was so unimportant that no one could be bothered to help me. Everyone, including the teachers, had looked the other way for the rest of the torture The Trio had put me through. Why not turn a blind eye one last time, until I was dead?
I shuddered, and something broke in me. I stopped banging on the locker door and weeping. It was almost peaceful. Was this what it felt like to drown? To struggle and struggle, and then just… let go, as the waters closed over your head?
Then, a piercing headache struck me like a nail being driven into the base of my skull. I gasped and clutched at my head, sliding down even further into the pile of filth. The pain writhed up and down my neck and my jaw spasmed wildly. Was I having a stroke? Slowly, the agony began to subside to a single point and then vanished.
“Hiya!” a chipper voice said.
I flinched. The voice sounded like it came from right next to my ear.
“What… who?” I rasped.
“Oh, right! Where are my manners? I’m Krombopulous Michael, nice to meet ya.”
I was going crazy. That was nice. My brain was shutting down, and I was hallucinating as the last synapses fired off.
“What’s your name?” the voice prompted, after a long pause.
What the hell. What did I have to lose at this point? I might as well talk to the voices.
“Taylor.”
“Great, that’s a very nice name, I love it. So, Taylor, it looks like you’re in a bit of a pickle.”
I couldn’t help it. The situation had gotten too absurd. If I didn’t laugh, I was going to cry. So I started to laugh. Or well, my chest shook and I sort of made choking noises.
“You could say that,” I said, once my hysteria died down.
The voice sighed. “Yup, pretty nasty. Haven’t smelled anything this gross since I crawled up that septic pipe on Krebulon. Well, anyways, let’s get us out of here.”
“Us? Where are you? You know what, never mind, I’m going crazy, I don’t even know why I’m talking to you.”
“Hmm. To answer your first question, it looks like I’m hitching a ride in your noggin. Don’t know how, doesn’t matter. Let’s focus on the more immediate problem.” A short pause. “Oh, and if you are crazy, don’t worry, I don’t judge. I’m very open minded.”
“Uh… okay?”
“Haha, that’s the spirit! Don’t let a little schizophrenia get you down. Anyways, don’t worry, we’ll be out of here in no time. They haven’t made a prison that can hold me.”
The casual way he said that made me shiver. “O-okay. What do I do?”
“Hmm. You wouldn’t happen to have a knife, would you?”
“A knife? I’m at school!”
“…So that’s a no?”
“Ugh… yes, that’s a no.” My voice was starting to give out entirely.
The voice I was now mentally calling “K” made a tsk sound. “It’s always good to have a knife. Well, no biggie. Feel around the edges of the door for me, would ya?”
I leaned forward and complied. Having something to do, something that might help, gave me a glimmer of hope to latch onto.
“Aha!” K cried. “There’s the lock. It doesn’t look too tough; I’ve gotten out of worse. You ready for the next part?”
“Y-yes.”
“Great, you’re doing great. I need you to wedge yourself as far back as you can get. Brace your shoulders against the wall behind you.”
I shifted around as best as I could in the cramped space. I ended up having to turn my torso quite a bit to get any leverage.
“Good, good. Can you get your leg up?”
My thighs burned from being stuck in one position, but I managed to lift my right leg.
“Okay, good. Now, kick as close to the lock as you can without hitting the lock itself. Just really give it a go.”
I lashed out and felt a small but negligible shift in the door frame. I snarled in frustration.
“Don’t sweat it, kiddo, we’ll get it. Drive from the hip. Imagine kicking through the door, not at it.”
So it went. I kicked over and over again, occasionally accepting a correction from K. After an especially hard kick, I heard a metallic creaking sound and froze.
“Right on!” K said. “That’s what we were waiting for. Take a breather and get ready for the last push.”
I closed my eyes and grinned viciously. I was going to do it. Fuck The Trio, and fuck everyone that looked the other way. I was going to escape on my own. Or, well, with the help of my hallucination.
“Ready,” I said.
“Never doubted it. Feel around the lock again.” I did so, and felt a few places where the metal was bent. “Okay, looking good. Kick just above that bendy bit there.”
I sent a few more kicks and was rewarded with another squeal of tortured metal. Yes, yes! I slammed my foot forward with all my remaining strength.
Thud.
I.
Thud.
Am.
Thud.
Going.
Thud.
To LIVE!
With a final clank, the locker door crunched outward, spilling me forward in a cascade of rotten tampons and victory. As I began to black out, I heard K’s voice.
“Nice work! See you on the other side.”
- - -
AN: Yep, it's a locker scene. What sin, what travesty! I hope the dialog makes up for it.
Hi guys! This is the first time I’ve posted to SB. I’ve written product copy professionally for a while now, but have never tried an actual story. The only reason I did this snippet was because I missed Krombopulous' character. If ya’ll enjoy the premise and style, I’ll try to crank out some more.
Summary: Instead of a boring old Shard, Taylor receives the spirit of Krombopulous Michael, the friendly intergalactic assassin. Can an idealistic girl make a difference with the help of one cheerful hitman?
Caveats:
-You do NOT need knowledge of Rick and Morty for this story, but if you haven’t seen the show, you should go watch it anyways.
-There will be some technological hand-waving involved, so if you’re a “hard” sci-fi fan, this story may not be for you.
-Constructive criticism is welcome. Empty negativity and ad hominem attacks are not.
-I’ve probably read more Worm fanfic than the original material at this point, so I may occasionally fall victim to “The Fanon.” Sorry.
<*><*><*>
Krombopulous Michael, hired killer extraordinaire, leveled his newly acquired antimatter pistol at the Target and began to pull the trigger. Unfortunately, a bare fraction of a second before he could discharge his weapon, a small intergalactic vessel plowed through the wall behind him and crushed him neatly against the floor. Thus, the assassin’s life came to a sudden and somewhat anticlimactic close.
Normally, his physical demise would result in his soul’s migration to planes unknown. However, the fatal crash also caused a fractional loosening of one of the dimensional-locking bonds that held the Target in place. For an instant, a pulse of instability rippled across the boundaries that defined the current dimension. The end result was that Krombopulous’ ascending essence, in effect, slipped through the cracks of the universe. The collection of desires and memories that made up Krombopulous Michael slid across the infinite strata of the multi-verse, following the path of least resistance.
Then, suddenly, a semi-static point appeared in the roiling chaos. It was not quite an empty vessel, as the cycle of rebirth usually demanded, but it was well-suited for another soul to take root. To Krombopulous, it shone like a glittering lighthouse in a sea of darkness.
He drew closer to the Vessel, but was intercepted by another presence.
[PROVENANCE?]
It did not speak, as such, but rather issued forth a packet of direct meaning.
“Howdy,” Krombopulous sent in reply.
[DESTINATION?]
“Oh, I’m headed down there.” He tried to point, but realized he no longer had claws.
[NEGATION. LINK PRIORITY ESTABLISHED. ADJUST TRAJECTORY.]
“Hmm, I guess you had dibs on that body. You sure you can’t let me have this one?”
[NEGATION.]
“Oh, boy. Well, sorry about this, then.”
Krombopulous slid forward and seized the other presence. He wasn’t totally clear on the particular mechanics of the situation, but even as an incorporeal thought-form, he was a competent and enthusiastic killer. He began to quickly disassemble the other entity.
[NEGATION. NEGATION. SEVERE DAMAGE DETECTED. NEGATION. FATAL ERROR.]
“Yeah, that’s usually how it is.”
After a brief struggle, the other presence dissolved.
“Well, that was refreshing. Time to go.” He gathered his strength and descended.
<*><*><*>
I had never screamed so loudly in my life. I still wanted to scream, but I could no longer manage anything more than a hoarse gurgle. I tried to control my breathing, but each breath brought more of the rot, the hideously pungent smell of decaying blood that singed my sinuses. I might have blacked out a few times, although I couldn’t be sure.
Worse than anything, though, worse than the pain and the fear, was the despair. The bald, unflinching certainty that I was completely helpless and that no one was going to save me. I was going to die covered in filth, with people barely a few feet away, because I was so unimportant that no one could be bothered to help me. Everyone, including the teachers, had looked the other way for the rest of the torture The Trio had put me through. Why not turn a blind eye one last time, until I was dead?
I shuddered, and something broke in me. I stopped banging on the locker door and weeping. It was almost peaceful. Was this what it felt like to drown? To struggle and struggle, and then just… let go, as the waters closed over your head?
Then, a piercing headache struck me like a nail being driven into the base of my skull. I gasped and clutched at my head, sliding down even further into the pile of filth. The pain writhed up and down my neck and my jaw spasmed wildly. Was I having a stroke? Slowly, the agony began to subside to a single point and then vanished.
“Hiya!” a chipper voice said.
I flinched. The voice sounded like it came from right next to my ear.
“What… who?” I rasped.
“Oh, right! Where are my manners? I’m Krombopulous Michael, nice to meet ya.”
I was going crazy. That was nice. My brain was shutting down, and I was hallucinating as the last synapses fired off.
“What’s your name?” the voice prompted, after a long pause.
What the hell. What did I have to lose at this point? I might as well talk to the voices.
“Taylor.”
“Great, that’s a very nice name, I love it. So, Taylor, it looks like you’re in a bit of a pickle.”
I couldn’t help it. The situation had gotten too absurd. If I didn’t laugh, I was going to cry. So I started to laugh. Or well, my chest shook and I sort of made choking noises.
“You could say that,” I said, once my hysteria died down.
The voice sighed. “Yup, pretty nasty. Haven’t smelled anything this gross since I crawled up that septic pipe on Krebulon. Well, anyways, let’s get us out of here.”
“Us? Where are you? You know what, never mind, I’m going crazy, I don’t even know why I’m talking to you.”
“Hmm. To answer your first question, it looks like I’m hitching a ride in your noggin. Don’t know how, doesn’t matter. Let’s focus on the more immediate problem.” A short pause. “Oh, and if you are crazy, don’t worry, I don’t judge. I’m very open minded.”
“Uh… okay?”
“Haha, that’s the spirit! Don’t let a little schizophrenia get you down. Anyways, don’t worry, we’ll be out of here in no time. They haven’t made a prison that can hold me.”
The casual way he said that made me shiver. “O-okay. What do I do?”
“Hmm. You wouldn’t happen to have a knife, would you?”
“A knife? I’m at school!”
“…So that’s a no?”
“Ugh… yes, that’s a no.” My voice was starting to give out entirely.
The voice I was now mentally calling “K” made a tsk sound. “It’s always good to have a knife. Well, no biggie. Feel around the edges of the door for me, would ya?”
I leaned forward and complied. Having something to do, something that might help, gave me a glimmer of hope to latch onto.
“Aha!” K cried. “There’s the lock. It doesn’t look too tough; I’ve gotten out of worse. You ready for the next part?”
“Y-yes.”
“Great, you’re doing great. I need you to wedge yourself as far back as you can get. Brace your shoulders against the wall behind you.”
I shifted around as best as I could in the cramped space. I ended up having to turn my torso quite a bit to get any leverage.
“Good, good. Can you get your leg up?”
My thighs burned from being stuck in one position, but I managed to lift my right leg.
“Okay, good. Now, kick as close to the lock as you can without hitting the lock itself. Just really give it a go.”
I lashed out and felt a small but negligible shift in the door frame. I snarled in frustration.
“Don’t sweat it, kiddo, we’ll get it. Drive from the hip. Imagine kicking through the door, not at it.”
So it went. I kicked over and over again, occasionally accepting a correction from K. After an especially hard kick, I heard a metallic creaking sound and froze.
“Right on!” K said. “That’s what we were waiting for. Take a breather and get ready for the last push.”
I closed my eyes and grinned viciously. I was going to do it. Fuck The Trio, and fuck everyone that looked the other way. I was going to escape on my own. Or, well, with the help of my hallucination.
“Ready,” I said.
“Never doubted it. Feel around the lock again.” I did so, and felt a few places where the metal was bent. “Okay, looking good. Kick just above that bendy bit there.”
I sent a few more kicks and was rewarded with another squeal of tortured metal. Yes, yes! I slammed my foot forward with all my remaining strength.
Thud.
I.
Thud.
Am.
Thud.
Going.
Thud.
To LIVE!
With a final clank, the locker door crunched outward, spilling me forward in a cascade of rotten tampons and victory. As I began to black out, I heard K’s voice.
“Nice work! See you on the other side.”
- - -
AN: Yep, it's a locker scene. What sin, what travesty! I hope the dialog makes up for it.
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