Kill La Kill: Satsuki Matoi

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by TheOneMoiderah, Feb 18, 2014.

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  1. TheOneMoiderah


    From across the wastes, Satsuki Matoi walked. Her uniform was a white boy's uniform, stolen from some poor sap's school in the midst of the wasteland. Her long, black hair was messy, with one strange, out-of-place lock of blue hair hanging from her bangs. She stepped into Honnouji city, and took in the sights.

    [AKA: The Kanto Drifter]

    It was a gorgeous town, one decked out with black and red. It seemed to spiral upwards, as though the very city itself were a corkscrew. She just sighed once to herself, before she walked inside. "What a strange place." She said. "Still, I should be able to get some answers." She smirked. "Who knows." She walked through the slums, and took a bite out of an apple as she walked up. It was then that a young boy bumped into her.

    "Sorry!" He said...but he didn't get very far before she grabbed him by the collar. "Eh!?" He shrieked a little, before she grabbed the apple in his hand and put it back in her mouth. She put him down without batting an eye. "The hell?!"

    "It's rude to steal food, don't you know?" She said it flatly as she kept walking up through the city. Eventually, she just took a tram to the entrance of Honnouji, where she noticed someone.

    It was a dead boy. One who was impaled through the stomach by a bamboo sword and made to hang there. Satsuki stood still. "Hm. Brutal." There was a sign hanging from his feet that read "THREATS TO HONNOUJI WILL BE ELIMINATED". "...Certainly pragmatic though, I'll give them that." She walked forwards, with guitar box hung over her shoulder and a heavy side-to-side sway.


    "Satsuki Matoi?"

    "Here." She leaned back in her chair, one foot on the ground and one on the desk. She was unseemly, and when the teacher started his lecture, she was even a bit bored...before her new mate opened her mouth.

    "HI!" She shouted, and immediately, Satsuki turned her face and brought a flat hand to the girl's throat. When she realized that she was just introducing herself, she took a deep breath and sighed. "Oh. Good...that was startling."

    The girl paused...until she put the hand down. "I'M MAKO MANKANSHOKU."


    "This seat was conveniently empty." Satsuki said with a sigh. "I think it's related to the guy I saw hanging outside."

    "Oh, yeah!" Mako nodded rapidly. "The student council killed him when they thought he stole a uniform." She paused, realizing that Satsuki would probably find that horrifying. "Don't worry, this stuff happens all the time!"

    Satsuki, however, just shrugged. "I ran into a school that used Kobe beef as armor. A borderline militaristic school that kills students doesn't surprise me at this point."

    "...Beef armor?" Mako stared. "Ooooooooooooooh that sounds delicious!"

    Satsuki chuckled lightly. "It was. Believe me."


    Several hours later, and Satsuki was taking the time to listen to Mako's fantastic song about being on campus, which was being sung into her fantastic bananomicrophone. ...No she wasn't. In fact, she was actively ignoring the girl. Just a few minutes ago, she was kind of endearing. Now, she was just growing annoying.

    Even with all the patience that she had, it was starting to get a little she decided to interrupt it. "So, mind telling me who's running this show?" Satsuki finally asked.

    "Oh, that would be-!" Mako suddenly froze, before she grabbed Satsuki by the neck. "Hold on, Satsuki! Bow! Bow!"

    Satsuki did just that...and when she did, she saw a silhouette of a woman walking down some steps. Her gaze was cold, she wore a sneer, and when she walked, one could feel the air growing hotter with her rage. Her uniform was a black coat, with a series of red pins and buttons. It was all just black and red, without a hint of life fibers upon her.


    "Is that it?" Satsuki asked.

    "Yeah! That's the student council president!" She said. "That's the top of the top! Even with the three-stars, she still dishes out the most punishments!"

    "...Punishment?" Satsuki muttered.

    "Yeah!" Mako nodded. "If a student breaks a rule, then usually they're dealt with by the Student Disciplinary Officer: Gamagoori. But if someone breaks a rule in her presence, she does it instead!" Her teeth start chattering. "And she's much harsher!"

    "Huh. Any more explanations? Such as what you meant by three-stars?"

    "Yes. Tell us." Satsuki's eyes almost bugged out of her skull when she saw that the student council president standing right behind Mako, eyes fixed in a glare. "Also, mind explaining some more as to why you're out of line?"

    Satsuki quickly regained her composure. "I was just askin' around for information." She said. "That's really it."

    "Oh." Ryuko coughed into her hand. That's alright, then." Ryuko muttered. "Well, if you really want more, just ask one of us." She walked forwards again, and Mako turned.

    "Thankfully, she's reasonable."

    "I honestly thought she was going to punch somebody." Satsuki said, flatly.

    "If I catch you again, then I will punch somebody!"

    "Got it, little miss tough girl." Satsuki rolled her eyes. "Someone needs to calm down a bit."

    Later, it was time to head home...when Ryuko Kiryuin felt a chill running down her back. She turned to see the same student from earlier right behind her, appearing much the same way she had in the courtyard. "Satsuki Matoi." She said.

    Without batting an eye, Satsuki walked in with a confident stride. "Oh. You already knew my name?"

    "I know every student." Ryuko said. "It's part of my job as, you know, the president of the student council."

    Satsuki put on a smirk. "But I just joined today."

    "Yes, but you were scheduled for enrollment for quite a while now." She crossed her arms, and Satsuki saw the flash of a sheath partially hidden by Ryuko's coat. "So, why are you here so late? I mean, there are plenty of clubs open now. Surely, you wouldn't mind joining one?" She said. "You even get a one-star uniform for it."

    "I honestly don't care." Satsuki said. "I'm not here for some club. I'm here to figure something out." In one smooth motion, she pulled out a blue scissor blade. She twirled it above her head, and her confident tone and swagger evaporated as soon as she took the blade out and pointed at Ryuko's face. "Such as why did I find this impaled in my father?"

    Ryuko's eyes widened as soon as she saw the blade. "...You're related to Isshin, aren't you?"

    Satsuki pressed forwards. "Good. Looks like we're on the same page." Her grin returned as she pressed forwards. There was no way in hell that Ryuko was going to back down now. She brought the sword to the President's throat slowly and deliberately. "And're going to tell me everything you know about-!"

    Suddenly, there was a loud clang. The room around them seemed to explode as the windows were blown out, the desks were tossed around and the door was blasted off of its hinges. Satsuki stared at the blade that hit her scissor for several seconds, before she turned, wide-eyed, at the wielder.

    "Let me tell you something." Ryuko said it coldly. "One: Don't hold a sword to my face. Two: Don't you dare make a needless enemy out of me." She glared outside. "Did you see that corpse that we hung in front of the school? He's there because he made the mistake of directly threatening a student." Ryuko glared. "He brandished a knife and tried to kill our head of discipline. It's why I was walking through the campus today, looking for co-conspirators. It's why I'm thankful that my council members are competent enough to deal with these kinds of THREATS!" Ryuko shouted, before she slammed her forehead against Satsuki's. There was a loud thud, but even with the new pain in her forehead, Satsuki didn't bat an eye.

    She put on that grin again. "You're a hard woman to crack, Ryuko."

    Ryuko just scowled. "That's assuming that you'd even be able to." She pressed the sword and brought Satsuki's to the roof. Immediately, several panels were knocked off and a lightbulb was cracked into pieces. "If you threaten any of us again, then I will have somebody after you, and I will take that sword of yours!"

    That riled Satsuki up. Without much warning, she broke the grip, and immediately came forwards with a fist ready. But even then, and without flinching, Ryuko turned, before she sheathed her sword and slapped Satsuki in the stomach with it. The girl gasped in pain, before she felt a hard elbow hit to the back of her neck. She hit the ground with a thud, gasping before Ryuko grabbed her by her collar. "I can understand that you want to find out more about who killed your dad. But you know what?!" Ryuko screamed. "You just blew your chances!" She threw the girl out of the open window, and with a shriek Satsuki was sent flying. She clenched her teeth before she hit the ground hard and rolled across, before she saw Ryuko slamming into the ground in front of her. The dirt cracked and dust was sent flying as she slowly stood up.

    Satsuki gasped. "What...the...fuck."

    "Perhaps I should be a bit clearer!" Ryuko shouted. "You directly threatened ME!" The girl was normally much shorter, but right now, Satsuki saw something enormous. "Right after I told you not to do that! Are you some kind of idiot? That doesn't tell me that you want some answers. That tells me you want a fight!"

    Satsuki laughed a little. "Maybe! That or I'm just sick of you meander-!"

    Before she finished, Ryuko pulled her red sword out, the blade seeming to glow with the full hate of its user. "You should know better, SATSUKI MATOI!" She plunged the blade into the ground, before she flicked it up, the blade barely missing Satsuki's face.

    For several seconds, Satsuki stared at the sword above her face. Ryuko didn't even bother to try and hit her...but then the ground around her started to shift. Out of nowhere, there was a blast of wind. The ground exploded into shards as dust was sent into a billowing cloud. Satsuki was sent tumbling off of the campus through the exit, and Ryuko just stood aside, sword in hand and a harsh scowl on her face.

    "...Pathetic." She muttered. "Undeserving of the name 'Matoi'."


    Satsuki tumbled head-over-heels outside of the school, rolling across the dirt path before she eventually slammed face-first into a nearby trolley. It paused for a second...before the unpowered thing started sliding down the tracks to the slums of Honnouji. It hit the bottom, exploding into a clusterfuck of parts and debris as she tumbled again and again into a nearby house.

    Right in the middle of a family's dinner.

    A woman shrieked as soon as she did so, before she knocked over a table and threw several pillows into the air. She kicked a man in the face with an unconscious foot, and hit the back wall hard before falling to the ground flat on her face...and then a pot shattered upon contact with her head.

    When the dust finally settled, the family that saw her crash in just stared...before one of them noticed exactly who this character was. "Satsuki!" Mako shouted, before she pulled her up. "Oh...Oh man you look horrible!"

    "Horrible? She looks...!" The little boy glared at her, before he slowly realized that this was the same girl that ruined his theft. "Hey! She's the one who stole back the apple!"


    "You tried stealing from her?" His mother kept a pleasant expression. "Didn't we already talk about this, Matarou?"


    "I'll keep watch!" Mako's dad stood up. "She doesn't seem to be doin' too good!"


    "Looks like it's time for...MANKANSHOKU BACK-ALLEY CLINIC to get to work!"

    And, finally, their dog let out a harsh bark. "GATSU!"



    "Are you sure she can be trusted, Mikisugi?" A woman asked over a video conference call. "I'm having a hard time believing it, considering she tried stabbing me in the neck."

    "I can't blame you, and to be completely honest, not really." Aikuro adjusted his uniform. "I've seen her briefly before. She wasn't one to pick a fight, just one to retaliate." He frowned. "That said, would you mind if I adjusted my attire? It doesn't work with me."

    "I know how you work. Go ahead."

    "Good." And so, Aikuro adjusted...dramatically. His shirt flowed in the wind with a ridiculous flair as suddenly a pair of purple lights started glowing on his chest. His calling partner groaned. "What? Don't you appreciate how we run things?"

    "I don't appreciate the strip show, if that's what you're asking. Just talk."

    "Well, we could try guiding her to the house. There's still something left there that Satsuki has yet to discover."

    "The Kamui?"

    "Exactly." Aikuro smiled. "You really haven't been pressing her as much as you probably should have."

    "I just tossed her off-campus without a uniform. She should probably see some urge to get back to her old home and mourn some more."

    "Hm. Perhaps run some kind of course?"

    "Exactly. Rough her up. Tell her to face my clubs like some kind of demented tournament saga. That sort of thing." Ryuko Kiryuin sat back. "She could use the practice."

    "Is Ragyo still buying the 'good girl act'?"

    "Naturally." Ryuko clenched her teeth.

    "...Is something wrong?"

    "No. Nothing." Ryuko turned away. "I just want her gone." She cut off the call, leaving Aikuro far below Honnouji in a bunker.

    "Well, I guess that's that. Looks like we have to do some guidework for Satsuki." He grinned. "NUDIST BEACH! ORGANIZE!"

    After various activities involving BROB, quests and stuff or other, finally decided to try my hand at writing a fanfic based on that series involving fashion and fascism.

    Constructive criticism is very much appreciated. I mean, fucking seriously. How can I improve if everyone tells me I'm great. It's a terrible mindset and part of why I'm not posting this on
    I'm totally not abusing the bbcode here nope what gave you that idea.

    EDIT: Also, sketch. Speedpaint.



    Chapter One: Same As The Old Boss

    Chapter Two: Instant Music

    Chapter Three: Can't Get These Thoughts Out Of My Head
    Chapter Four: Careful With That Axe
    Chapter Five: There's Gonna Be A Breakout
    Chapter Six: Wrath
    Chapter Seven: Crying Won't Help You
    Chapter Eight: Marionette
    Chapter Nine: Carnage
    Chapter Ten: Anticlimax
    Chapter Eleven: That Blood's Fate
    Chapter Twelve: Wham
    Chapter Thirteen: Red
    Chapter Fourteen: MG

  2. ckk185

    ckk185 Solidarity

    Very excellent. Much Ocelot . So Outer Heaven.
  3. Ardion Prosili

    Ardion Prosili Speed Is Life

    dose manditory intro titles though

    also I don't know how to say it but the wordplay between them is...odd. A bit off. I don't get why but it feels that way to me
  4. TheOneMoiderah


    Rereading does seem a bit strange at points. Gimme a sec.

    EDIT: I changed it a little, but...yeah. I don't really know what precisely to fix.
  5. Xomniac

    Xomniac Clockwork Purveyor of Prose and Originality

    At first, I thought you had made a mistake by using the wrong color for the subtitles... then I realized that they were Satsuki blue. Well played sir, well played indeed.
  6. Zap Rowsdower

    Zap Rowsdower Ex-Cultist Vagrant

    Wait, so, if Satsuki is in the Solid role, Ryuko is Liquid role, Mikisugi is Ocelot, and Ragyo is The Patriots, does this mean Mako is Otakon, or does it mean she's Meryl?
  7. Olive

    Olive Silent Princess

    Sanageyama is Meryl.
  8. ckk185

    ckk185 Solidarity

    Nah. Ryuko is Ocelot in this case while Satsuki is Solid Snake. Ragyou is the Patriots.
  9. MobiusOneDT

    MobiusOneDT Red Tail Leader

    Good Job Moid, hopefully this will turn out much better than MMVP!:D
    lava beard of sorrow likes this.
  10. TheOneMoiderah


    That's not particularly hard to do, considering that MMVP is fucking terrible. I TRIED TO PURGE IT FROM MY MIND FOREVER.
    lava beard of sorrow likes this.
  11. Olive

    Olive Silent Princess

    dragongod123 likes this.
  12. Arjac

    Arjac Retreating Backwards

  13. TheOneMoiderah


    Old story I wrote. Let's just leave it at that.

    And for the love of god, don't mention it around me. I fucking hate that thing.
  14. Arjac

    Arjac Retreating Backwards

    ok, yeah, found on google
  15. MobiusOneDT

    MobiusOneDT Red Tail Leader

    Sorry, I'll admit I just mentioned it to get a rise out of you. Your reaction to it from Sayaka quest was hilarious.

    In all seriousness, this story looks pretty good. Also liking that drawing of Satsuki, eyebrows and all.
  16. Magenia

    Magenia And I'm Proud

    You have my attention following.

    Do you mind if I alert the rest of the Quest thread about this?
  17. TheOneMoiderah


    I don't particularly care. If you want to, go ahead, I guess.
  18. Dirtnap

    Dirtnap SLEEP.

    It begins. You know us Moid. We'll critique what needs to be critiqued.
  19. Well now this is a nice surprise.

    The flamboyance of the TITLES is spot on.

    It pleases me.

    Random thought, but if it were me I would have put NUUUUDISTO BEACH in pink.
  20. Aranfan

    Aranfan Team Plasma Grunt

    For some reason it just doesn't work for me. Maybe it's that Ryuuko talking about knifes and bladed weapons sounds too reasonable for me to take seriously coming from her. I dunno.
  21. Mister Bad Guy

    Mister Bad Guy Robot Gorillaman

    One of the things that did bug me a little was I wasn't quite sure about the character's voices. In standard KLK, they're pretty clear: Ryuko is a hot-tempered loudmouth, Satsuki is formal but condescending. I'm having a slightly harder time of it here; Satsuki basically sounds like Canon Ryuko most of the time, while Ryuko... I'm not sure.
  22. Terrace

    Terrace Insane Slacker

    Maybe Ryuuko has a rule that you can't brandish a deadly weapon if you don't intend to use it?
  23. Aranfan

    Aranfan Team Plasma Grunt

    That doesn't seem to jive with the whole "executed because of the knife" thing.

    I think that the problem is that Ryuuko doesn't really feel like Ryuuko, or even someone Ryuuko could have been under different circumstances.
    kinglugia and mistakenot like this.
  24. TheOneMoiderah


    Changed. It's now executed for attempted murder.

    Mind telling me what might fix this, pray tell?
  25. Terrace

    Terrace Insane Slacker

    On the other hand, Gamagoori can overreact. It just makes sense to put down someone waving around a deadly weapon with extreme prejudice.
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