MLP Loops thread 4

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Saphroneth, Dec 29, 2013.

  1. The third thread is approaching lock, so I've started the fourth one. Please remember to use the misc loops thread for discussion of misc loops.

    Thread one
    Thread two
    Thread three
    The MLP Time Loops fic started as a dozen or so silly vignettes I wrote on the concept of Twilight Sparkle, and others, time looping (see the full description of mechanics below).
    Since then, I’ve just kept being inspired to write more, and others have also contributed (about a third of the compiled Loops so far have been contributions by other authors).
    The compiled version is on all three of the accounts linked in my sig. See below for useful link.

    Loop mechanics (general):

    One person in a Loop, often the main character, is an Anchor. They are the person who first starts time looping.
    There is always at least one Anchor present in a given Time Loop snippet, though it may not be the local one.
    The standard pattern for a loop is that the Anchor (and whoever else is Looping there) come to awareness in a loop at a particular point in the story. From there, events will play out as influenced by the Loopers present, acting with the benefit of their foreknowledge, until either a predetermined end point is reached or all the Loopers have copped it.
    To be Awake is to be aware of the time loops (that is, to have gone back in time this time.)
    The Anchor is the only character guaranteed to be Awake. Even after others have started looping, it is mostly random as to whether they will be Awake this particular loop.
    Crossovers, fusions, and alternate pasts can also take place. It is perfectly possible, for example, to have the characters Awaken into a loop which conforms to a fanfic universe rather than reality.
    Loops do not have to be in chronological order, but it is strongly preferred that they not require a mutually contradictory order (where A must be before B and B must be before A.)
    Just about every Looper is very, very stir crazy.

    Loop mechanics (specific)

    Twilight is the Anchor.
    MLPverse Loopers tend to be very sane by Looper standards, and to aim to avoid unnecessary death – even though it’s temporary.
    I assume that the MLP Loops are about five years long, although they have recently started to expand into series 4.
    As of the point at which this thread is being started, the confirmed Loopers are:
    The Mane Six
    All three Princesses
    Shining Armor
    The CMC
    Diamond Tiara
    Big Macintosh
    Angel Bunny
    Magical object versions of the Founders (it's complicated)
    Berry Punch
    Mayor Mare
    Silver Spoon
    And possibly a couple more.
    (I may have missed one or two.)
    That’s about as much as can be covered without massive spoilers, I think.
  2. We seem to have entered an endless recursion in time.
    So! I might as well start this off with some half-formed ideas. CMC loop in as the Founders, go alicorn at some point, and... well, that's honestly about as far as I'd gotten. More of a set-up for something, then an idea for it.
    The other idea I had, was a Metro 2033 fused loop. Windigos froze over the surface, ponykind lives on beneath the ground, ect. Could even get into some Dorf Fortress style shenanigans.
    Now there's a plot idea, for that setting. There is no Ponyville, the Mane Six are the expedition to found it.

    A thid idea, Twilight's ongoing social expirements, what would Equestria look like if the three tribes united, but stayed seperate political entities?
  3. From the last thread...

    Actually, if I remember correctly... Mayor Mare was referred to as Looping back in loop 25.2*. I think the general consensus was that she's had quite a few offscreen loops outside Equestria, filling in for various mayors of various superhero/crazytown/etc. loops. So she may not be a "new" looper, there just haven't been very many Loops actually written for her. Although I do see your point.

    *In which Twilight and the other Ascended loopers, remembering what happened in the Slavequestria loop, staged a fake revolution to cause baseline Celestia and NM!Luna to reconcile.
  4. She's only a few in in that her loop number was mentioned recently (the "stag and doe night" snip) and it was barely double digits or so. She's still very much a newbie.

  5. Ah. So more like an extremely rare Looper, with recent events now letting her be Awake more often.
  6. What actually happened was that Anowack (I think) did an epilogue-style copy of the slave-questria loop's finale, but mentioned a looping Mayor Mare and I basically missed the reference.
  7. FanOfMostEverything

    FanOfMostEverything Your Best Audience

    If I may offer yet another possibility for Silver Spoon? Soul Eater, with Spoon as the weapon and Tiara as the Meister. And yes, I am proposing that Tiara wields an enormous, literal Silver Spoon. One identical to the filly's cutie mark. She could go on to become an inanimate-object shapeshifter as a counterpoint to Fluttershy. I suppose this would make Spoon's combat philosophy "It doesn't matter how big your gun is when you are that gun."

    ...and now I'm imagining Silver Spoon as Megatron. And it is glorious.
    Ranma-sensei and elemenster like this.
  8. And/or we could take her down the path of the Improbable Weapons Master and Improv Fu. That might be interesting. So far all the real fighter types we have are magic-based, straight-up honest fighters like Dash or Gilda, or Trixie's Blow It Up Harder style. This has a chance, if done right, of evolving from a potential interpretation of SS's Cutie mark, and also being freakin' HILARIOUS. And, really, the Loops are all about humor.
  9. yannoshka

    yannoshka C rate smartass

    Already suggested that.
    Yes. Yes it is...

    And I'm still holding out for SS replacing Edward for FFIV loop.
  10. "Twilight."


    "Do you know why we're dinosaurs?"

    "Not a clue."
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  11. "Twilight and Rarity are something weird with no explanation" was funny (okay, very funny) the first time. But it's one of those things that really only works once.
  12. yannoshka

    yannoshka C rate smartass

    Too soon to repeat that joke. Wait a bit longer, than it works as a callback.

    Just saw the last episode. I am beginning to think they replaced their writers with gerbils. Season four is seriously starting to deBronyfy me. Thank goodness for fanfiction, and doubly so for you people here, you are keeping me insane enough to tolerate it all.
    Ranma-sensei likes this.
  13. Okay. It's just that, it was either that, or try the "Rarity and Sweetie Belle discuss recent loops over breakfast" thing and risk screwing that up.
  14. Also, someone mentioned in the last thread that for long fused loops, one should describe the setting for people who don't know it. The thing is, who doesn't know Mario? The franchise is more popular than Mickey Mouse. And I'm not exaggerating. Hell, someone went to Disney dressed as Mario and actually stole the spotlight from Mickey. That's how popular Mario is.
  15. yannoshka

    yannoshka C rate smartass

    You're the one who bungled Mario loop? The problem there was your delivery, not infamiliarity with the setting.
  16. Greetings, salutations and whatnot.

    The more observant of you may recognize me as one of the more prolific contributors to this fic's TV Tropes page. I also (with some reluctance) acknowledge authorship of the "Pinkie and the Brain" snippet (21.2). I have just archive-binged my way through the 3rd MLP Loops thread on these forums (only skimmed threads 1 and 2), so I think I'm starting to understand the dynamics of the community here.

    Anyway, I'm seeking opinions on whether Twilight qualifies for "Pals With Jesus" status vis-a-vis Slepnir. On the one hoof, she doesn't quite have a direct line to the Admin. OTOH, he clearly feels some sense of responsibility for her. Thoughts?

    Also, I've got the start of a fusion loop premise that I'm not sure how to flesh out, so I'll put it up for grabs for anyone to run with if inspiration strikes:

    Toy Story (post TS3)
    I. Bonnie has entered MLP-fan mode and gets a bunch of Hasbro-related loot for birthday/Christmas/whatever​
    A. Twilight is a Build-a-Bear princess plushie. ("Twilight Awoke, feeling even fuzzier than usual...")​
    B. Celestia is an earlier model pink princess.​
    C. RD or Pinkie (but not both) is also a plushie.​
    D. Others are either Funco vinyls or standard Hasbro miniatures.​
    2. Buzz and RD quickly enter vitriolic best buds territory, to Jessie's consternation.​
    3. Buttercup (Bonnie's stuffed unicorn) has a crush on Pinklestia.​

    It's possible that multiple versions of one or more ponies may be present (Twi as both plushie and plastic miniature, etc.)

    Incidentally, if Toy Story starts looping, Woody would be the logical Anchor, but one alternative would be Hamm (extra snark).
  17. I know it was my delivery, as others have pointed out when I did Take 2. I guess I just don't have a lot of experience with drabble-length stories, and the way I handle crossover-stories could leave a lot to be desired.

    I think I will try my hand at the "Rarity and Sweetie Belle at breakfast" loop. I mean, the worst that happens is it's not included and I get criticism for how to make it better.
  18. OracleMask

    OracleMask You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

    Ah, that new thread smell~

    As for me, I stand by my interest in having Spoon's formative loop be Fullmetal Alchemist. While I do love me some Soul Eater as well, Silver Spoon being a Weapon that Diamond Tiara wields kinda makes me wonder how Silver will ever be her own person that way. No issue with it being somepony else who wields the Spoon.

    And I just remembered this rhyme: 'Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other's gold'. I think it's very appropriate for the Silver Spoon/Diamond Tiara situation~
  19. I just hope they don't get too ridiculous with the whole "demonic possession" explanation for Nightmare Moon. Maybe it's that the Loops have a lot invested in the idea that any alicorn can go as "corrupt" as Luna, and that she can be cured by something as simple as genuine, well-demonstrated affection... but the nightmare-essence-blah explanation of Luna's turning evil turns it from her having done something genuinely wrong and having a genuine thing to apologize for, to being "she was in the wrong place and happened to be vulnerable to being infested by demons". Which isn't really a "wrongdoing" at all, or if it is then it's approaching thoughtcrime.
  20. DrTempo

    DrTempo The Doc of XOvers

    AFAIK, the NMM posession bit has only been firmly shown ih the comics, and that bit may not be fully canon.
    As for yesterday's episode, I'm fine with it..interesting twist there...
  21. OracleMask

    OracleMask You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

    Have a snippet:


    Twilight looked toward her five friends over the pile of books and papers they'd been working on. All six of them were Alicorns - it only seemed appropriate for the kind of game they were planning.

    "So we're agreed on the rules?" she asked.

    She got four nods and one excited bounce.

    "Okay. Now we just need to make the map and the pieces, and we can start playing!"


    "Sister, what do you make of this?"

    Celestia took the paper Luna handed her via telekinesis and studied it.

    "...Somepony is painting large lines over parts of Equestria?" Celestia said, "And...the Griffin Lands...and everywhere else?"

    There were pictures with the reports, showing a suspiciously familiar pink blur wielding a comically oversized paintbrush and bucket of paint.


    "Right, this rock looks good," Applejack said, looking over a nice reddish mountain not far from Appleloosa.

    Looking a little like she was tap-dancing, Applejack bent a large chunk out and methodically shaped it until it resembled one of the Royal Guards. There were a few differences, like the funny plume on top of the statue's head, the apple motif on the armor, and the being made of solid rock thing. It was also the size of Town Hall in Ponyville.

    "One down, thirty-sommat to go..."


    "Rarity, um...three of my armies in the Everfree Forest would like to attack your armies of Canterlot...if you don't mind," Fluttershy said, holding up three red dice.

    Rarity beamed, lifting up two white dice. "Bring. It. On!"

    The denizens of Canterlot watched in awe as the distant forms of three giant pony soldiers made of trees and two giant pony soldiers made of ice (and wearing fabulous capes of solidified water) did battle over the giant line of paint that had appeared the other day.


    "Pinkie, we don't even HAVE an Australia, how did you even do that?!" Rainbow Dash groaned as the party pony's giant candy-cane wielding marshmallow soldiers rampaged all over her own giant thunderbolt-using cloud armies from out of nowhere.

    "Dashie, hiding in Australia until you steamroll the competition is TRADITION! Silly!" Pinkie Pie giggled.


    "Five!" Applejack declared triumphantly.

    Twilight pointed to her die.

    "Six...oh, crabapples. That's my last army."

    A mile away, the last of Applejack's stone soldiers crumbled as Twilight's magical construct soldier blasted it.

    "Hooray! Now it's between me, Twilight, and Rarity!" Pinkie exclaimed.


    The rest of the Mane Six watched politely as Rarity was crowned Queen of the World by a very confused Celestia and Luna.

    "Y'know, that was pretty fun," Rainbow Dash said, "Whose turn is it to pick the next board game?"

    "Mine," Applejack said, looking over their list of games and crossing 'Risk' off it, "Let's see, what's left..."


    Yeah, we used to have epic, multi-day length games at my house when I was little~
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  22. Your signature fits really well here for some reason.
  23. It really, really does
  24. Here's a Wedding Prep Snippet featuring AJ.
    Applejack walked to a relatively unused patch of land on Sweet Apple Acres, bringing Twilight Velvet, Rarity and Spike along with her.

    “I didn’t collect as many things as Twilight while we were away, but I’ve been working on growing these samples from our trip.” She explained to the older mare, ignoring the way Twilight Velvet mumbled to herself while going over her checklists.

    “Some we traded for, and others were gifts.” She continued. “And Twilight held most of them. We thought we’d show you what we've got so far.”

    Rarity perked up as they got close to the brand new Greenhouse the looping Apple family had built that first day. “What sort of plants do you have in here Applejack?”

    Applejack grinned, opening the door.

    Twilight Velvet looked up from her notes and blinked. “Is it just me, or is it bigger on the inside?”

    Spike nodded, supressing a grin. “One of Twilight’s spells? The Undetectable Expansion charm?”

    “Not quite.” Applejack shook her head. “Same basic principles though. If you’d like to walk this way, we’ve got all the flowers we could find in our pockets.”

    Rarity’s eyes widened at the rows of plants she could see- some type of glowing fern, some plants that Sweetie Belle had shown her from her trip to Middle Earth, and dozens more that she’d never seen in her life. “Oh my! You certainly have been busy Applejack.”

    The other looper checked to see Twilight Velvet engrossed in her exploration, then replied. “Not just me sugarcube. Twilight’s been collecting wedding presents for a long time now. I asked her to get samples of plants for me, and the others all pitched in where they could. We all wanna help make this a day to remember for the two of you.”

    As Rarity teared up at the sentiment, Applejack decided not to tell her about the surveillance system Applebloom was installing in the venue. It was going to be one heck of a wedding video when the Crusaders got around to the editing.


    Applejack’s plant ability hasn’t really been used since Tatooine, so I though putting her in charge of the flowers would be a nice gesture- because what do you get for the Pony/Dragon couple who have pretty much everything? A perfect wedding.

    The glowing fern is Moonlace, from Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I figured that Twilight traded Neville something for it the last time she looped into HP and he happened to be awake. It’s basically a fern that glows ‘like moonlight’ and inspires a sense of peace. It’s been a while since I read that book though, so stick with the glowing if you take it up.
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  25. I don't even.


    “What. The buck. Is this.”

    Twilight prodded it, producing a kind of 'pfff' sound.

    Pinkie grinned. “I think it's a fluffy pony! I will call it Fluffle-”

    “No.” Twilight shook her head. “I'm not getting involved. If this is a loop peculiarity, then you can handle it. Meanwhile, I've got a project to do before Trixie next loops.”

    She gave Pinkie a pointed look. “That means that you don't use my main room as a lounge.”


    Twilight gave Pinkie a glare. “Okay, explain.”

    “I don't know what went wrong!” Pinkie protested. “I thought maybe Chrysalis would like to meet Fluffle, and she... vanished into the fur.”

    “Do you mean the looping Chrysalis?”

    Pinkie shook her head.

    “Right.” Twilight rubbed her head. “I can feel a headache coming on. Okay, this is your fault, you solve this.”

    “Pinkie... this is not solved.”

    “I like to think of it as solved,” Pinkie countered. “I mean, look! They love her!”

    “They're terrified half to death that she'll engulf them like she did Chrysalis.” Twilight pointed at the cringing Changelings surrounding the fluffy pony, who now had a makeshift crown glued to her head.

    Pinkie shrugged. “Potaeto, potahto.”

    (I seriously don't even.)
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