My Trans-Dimensional, Overpowered Protagonist, Harem Comedy is Wrong, as Expected. Oregairu/Danmachi

Sage_Of_Eyes · Dec 13, 2015

Summary: Hikigaya Hachiman, shortly after an odd Valentine's day, finds himself in a new world filled with magic, monsters, and gods. Though he knows not how he got there, he knows that the only way back to his home is through the Dungeon. Armed with a few tricks, a wholly unnatural affinity for magic, and his own, self-serving mindset, he just might manage to achieve his goal. Well, if he ever manages to get a party.

Posted in Fanfiction.net (Chapter 4) and RoyalRoad (Pending). RoyalRoad Profile.

...

“Hikigaya-san.” You know something I never fail to find impressive? The fact that Japanese customs and titles transferred over into this world. The fact that all the gods and people of a world would speak Japanese really conveys the fact that I’m undoubtedly in some Light Novel I’d never gotten the chance to read. Unsurprisingly, the time taken up by studying and education continues to haunt me to this day. If only if I had the sense to not care for my grades, then I would be much better prepared for this. “I would very much appreciate it if you listened to me instead of becoming lost in thought, Hikigaya-san!”

“I am listening, Sophie-san.” No, I hadn’t been. I knew by heart, the words that were coming out of my Guild Advisor’s mouth. No need to listen to a lecture after it’s been memorized. By all means, I, Hikigaya Hachiman, no longer paid any attention to Sophie Vanna for the first ten minutes when she speaks to me. I harnessed the powers passed onto me by my corporate slave parents, the skill to pay attention without paying attention, to its fullest extent. Thank you, corporate slave parents, may you be happier without a deadbeat son. I leave everything I own to Komachi. Still, only hand over Laptop-chan and Vita-chan once you’ve wiped their hard drives, thank you very much, I can now die in peace. “Here, I already have the payment for trespassing on the Middle Floors. I apologize for the extra paperwork.”

“Hikigaya-san, I’m telling you that you can’t keep doing this. It’s illegal for Level 1 adventurers to go into the Middle Floors. Even if you say your skills let you do it… you’ll be overwhelmed sooner or later.” I’d have put more stock in Sophie’s words if she didn’t just accept another ten percent of my day’s earnings. Once upon a time, I’d been charmed by her cute, elfin features, but I rapidly realized that no matter her cuteness, she was as rotten as everyone else I’d met in this world. Always out for a quick buck to make their lives easier. I’d checked the cost of the fines in the Guild register. Unsurprisingly, my beloved Advisor has me paying more than I should. I kept track of every ‘Valis’ that she overcharged me with in secret. Blackmail, especially on a Dungeon Advisor, is very difficult to get. Hmmm… what was that? I’m a hypocrite? Well, I never said anything about not being rotten myself! I simply didn’t like it when my territory was being intruded upon! “Please try to level up soon, you’ll make me very happy if you do! I’ll be much less worried about you, and I’m sure your Deity will be happier as well!”

“They’ll be fine with it.” Waving her concern away, I stood and made sure everything I had was in place. Too many damn thieves in Orario. The number of urchins running around looking to steal my items is too damn high. Unfortunately, despite my rotten disposition, I can’t stand the thought of handing the clever brats their asses. Besides, they were probably running for some bigshots with heavy armor and massive swords. Even if they’re compensating for something, I didn’t want the trouble that came with tangling with a dozen assholes. Finding all my things where they’re meant to be, I turned and gave Sophie a backwards wave. “See you next week, I’ll keep out of your hair until then.”

“I suppose that’s all I can ask you to do.” Sophie sighed. My Advisor must have shook her head and smiled in that particularly cute way. For the sake of keeping myself from exposing any weak points, I kept my head staring towards the door. Unlike many giant monsters, I preferred to not get hit by massive damage. “Oh, and the Hecate Familia has offered you another invitation! I know that you’re very loyal to your god, and that they’re the private sort, but please consider working with them for your own sake!”

I kept quiet after giving a grunt, but I was lying and I’d admit that. As always, being quiet solved a lot of problems.

While I managed to get ignored and unnoticed in my former world, the first and strongest of my 108 skills ‘Stealth Hikki,’ has evolved into an active skill in my new realm.

No longer is it limited to just blending into the environment, with a slight chance of detection by hopelessly energetic girls, but it also now inflicts status effect: Wrong Conclusion!

By staying quiet, I’d allowed an entire history for me to be created by the imaginative, cunning minds of my fellows! Truly, silence is a fearsome weapon indeed!

Suffice to say, I had no god. No Kami-sama as many other adventurers do. I handled things like updating, housing, and feeding myself on my own. No one else knew my abilities or skills, and that’s how I liked it. If I’d been anything but the consummate loner that I am, I’m sure that I wouldn’t have seen the advantages of my position.

That was how it started when I awoke in the gutters and that’s how it still remains.

No god meant no gossip about me and no knowledge of my abilities and skills making their way across the city. For that level of anonymity, having no Familia or a chance for a ‘title’ was a decent price.

Besides, it’s idiotic to believe that I’d put my life in the hands of other people. There’s only a single person I’d entrust my life to here and that’s me.

Ahh… enough with the depressing thoughts. I’d managed to get a few hundred thousand Valis, inched my stats upwards, and Sophie’s amount of embezzling has reached a million Valis. I have a sizeable chunk of extra money, more power to leverage, and solid blackmail. In the standards of this world, I was a success.

By all means, it was a good day.

So, it’s not to my surprise that the doors burst open before I reached them, and an idiot covered in blood tumbled into me headfirst.

…

“I know that you are being very reasonable, Hikigaya-san, but I’m afraid Cranel-kun cannot afford to recuperate you for the loss of your Salamander Cloak.” Eina Tulle, a half-elf Guild member, bowed to me. I’d have been embarrassed if she was doing it in public, but I was in the shadow of one of the booths. “He has barely begun adventuring, and he’s only reached the fifth floor! According to him, he was just attacked by a minotaur and was saved by a higher-ranked adventurer! Everything was merely a massive accident!”

“…It’s not much to buy a new Salamander Cloak, Tulle-san.” Shaking my head, I rejected the plea without mercy. Minotaur blood ruined Salamander Cloaks. They might be good for defending against the Lower Level’s ‘light’ monsters, but Minotaur blood stains them and attracts more of the stupid meatheads. I needed to replace it if I didn’t want to attract the walking bulls. Besides the matter of lost money, it didn’t sit right with me to have another person apologize for someone else. ‘Cranel-kun’ must be quite the womanizer to have a Guild Member working in his favor. This world has no shortage of dangerously attractive people. “I’ll even offer him one of my better deals.”

“Ah, you’re very kind, Hikigaya-san. However I must continue to ask you to forget about this matter.” Tulle’s smile became more strained. How attractive was this fellow? Was he a charmer like Hayama? Anyone who complained about that ‘Perfect Boy’ would’ve had a bloodthirsty legion of fangirls after their neck. This girl was seriously giving me the vibe that ‘Cranel-kun’ truly did no wrong. Basically she wanted me to find some goodness in my heart to just let bygones be bygones. No, thank you. “After such a harrowing experience, I doubt that Cranel-kun would wish to return to the Dungeon anytime soon. Though, I’m sure he’d benefit from having such an experienced adventurer such as yourself at his side! All your clients have nothing but praise for you!”

“The number of adventurers who’ve left the dungeon after a near-death experience can be counted on one hand, Tulle-san.” I answered curtly, puncturing the base of her argument without qualm. Watching Tulle’s smile fall elicited no reaction for me. Cute girls know that they’re cute. In both this world and the last, I know for a fact that they don’t hesitate to use their looks to their advantage. I had no problem just crushing their arguments. I’ve had plenty of practice. Also, leaning against the shadowed wall while doing so kinda made me feel cool. “If Cranel-san is a decent adventurer, he’ll be going to the Dungeon every day. I’ll skim off his profits until he pays off my Salamander Cloak. He’ll learn his lesson and I’ll get a new Cloak. You know it’s better than what could have happened if he bumped into someone else.”

“…I see.” Tulle’s face is stony as she raises her head. The brown-haired hybrid pushed up her glasses, the light glancing off them. Did you practice that? It would be intimidating if I hadn’t seen it in a dozen anime series. With an otaku of my level, your action only wants me to beg you to teach me how to do it myself. Thankfully, society has successfully instilled in me a proper amount of shame for being an otaku, unlike a certain, wishy-washy Zaimokuza, so I can refrain from doing so. Your attack was respectable Tulle-san, but I was trained from birth to hate my life choices. “Then… I suppose you’ll only listen to Cranel-kun’s own words. Please excuse me then, I will find him and show you that he is truly terrified of going into the dungeon.”

“You should let him handle himself. You didn’t ruin my property, he ruined my property. I can shake him down for everything he owns and I’ll be in the right. ” In a normal world I’d have been reproached for my choice of biting, harsh words. In this one? Tulle could only look away in shame, chewing at her lower lip. It was obvious that the brown-haired hybrid was coddling the new adventurer. “I’m offering a chance for him to be stronger, pay off a debt, and gain experience… and you’re going to try and use me to frighten him away from the Dungeon? You should be ashamed of yourself.”

“You’re right, I should be.” Tulle, surprisingly, speaks up and agrees with me. The brown-haired hybrid’s features eased into a sad smile. It painfully reminded me of a mother’s smile. I chose to look somewhere on her face, instead of the sickly smile that gave me pangs of homesickness. After nearly two years, you’d think that I’d have a semblance of peace, but that wasn’t the case. The bespectacled Guild Member brushed her hair behind her ear, giving a nod and a light huff. “…I’ll recommend him simply taking up a debt to pay you back, but I won’t speak against your own proposal. I don’t want Cranel-kun to rely on you like your other customers.”

“Oi, don’t say it like I’m running a racket.” Huffing, I turned away and stuffed my hands into my pockets. Still, Tulle was surprisingly respectable for a Guild Member. Not enough to trust, of course, but definitely someone I can go to ‘express my concerns’ about Sophie’s embezzling of me. “I’m the best at what I do, and it isn’t my fault if my clients think they’re ready for floors they aren’t skilled enough for.”

“And then you save them from their mistakes out of the goodness of your heart. It’s a mere coincidence that you’re making sure that you have a steady stream of clients to train in the Lower Floors.” Tulle rolls her eyes and attacks with her own, scathing barb while walking away. I’d heard it hundreds of times before, so I snorted at her words instead of ignoring them. “You stay there, Hikigaya-san, I’ll go and see if Cranel-kun has finished scouring the Minotaur blood off himself.”
...

A/N: I'd like a few insights if you can spare the time for them:
-How would you suggest 'showing' what a person is doing? I'm slightly unpleased with how I conveyed the fact that Hikigaya is basically running a protection racket for lower-leveled adventurers.
-Implying odd powers? The latter half of the second section has Hikigaya implying why he doesn't need a Familia, which is a core facet of many adventurers, and that he's plenty strong.

Omake and Artwork Index by DelerpTurtle

Accelbat's Commissioned Art.
Accelbat's Commissioned Art 2.
3
4
5
6

Hachiman Fanart

"Oi, Brat..."
"Just lint"
"I don't hear you chanting!"
"I'm Good."
"Costume Doodle."
"Hands On."
"Power to Touch."

"...Adorable sooo"
"Lili Fanart"
"Day One"
"Amp"
"Plink"
"Laulos."
*Xyr appears to have changed his username to Yams

"Fanart"
"Hiki defeats Alf."
"Hestia Familia + Hiki."
"Carry Me!"
"Which chapter was this???"

"You're a Wizard, Hikki!"
"Knife Catch."
"Huh?!"

djibriel
"Lili, Assasin's Creed"
Phearo
"Untitled Artwork Compilation."
Thalia
"NTR is Trash."
V-Zhan
"Almost A Year Ago."

"Unexpectedly Another Protagonist appears."
"Many Years Later, My Trans-Dimensional Rom-Com comes to an End."
"Unexpectedly My Trans-Dimensional Adventures became a Slice of Life. Part 1."
"Unexpectedly My Trans-Dimensional Adventures became a Slice of Life. Part 2."
"Unexpectedly, My Trans-Dimensional Adventures became a Slice of Life. Part 3."
"Unexpectedly, My Trans-Dimensional Adventure Became a Slice of Life. (Laulos Special)"
"UNEXPECTEDLY MY TRANS-DIMENSIONAL ADVENTURES BECAME A SLICE OF LIFE"
"UNEXPECTEDLY HE RETURNED HOME.....MARRIED!?"
"UNEXPECTEDLY HE RETURNED HOME.....MARRIED!? Part 2"
"Unexpectedly, My Trans-Dimensional Adventures became a Slice of Life. Part 4."
"UNEXPECTEDLY HE RETURNED HOME.....MARRIED!? Part 3"
"UNEXPECTEDLY HE RETURNED HOME.....MARRIED!? Part 3.5"

"The Return to My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU as Expected, Doesn't go as Expected: Part 1: Somehow, I Get a New Game+ Experience."
"The Return to My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU as Expected, Doesn't Go as Expected: part 2: Somehow, My Everyday School Life has Become Even More Complicated than It Already was."
"The Return to My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU as Expected, Doesn't Go as Expected: Part 3: Unfortunately, All Stories Need Some Form of Plot Setup."
"The Adventures of Jet Black and Light Pink, part 1(?)."
"The Return to My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU, as Expected, Doesn't Go as Expected (Ultra Ret-Con Edition) - Part 1: Somehow, I Get a New Game+ Experience"
Part 2: My Everyday School Life has Become More Complicated than It Already Was.

"RWBY X Transdim Chapter 1: ...My tran-dimensional, light-novel adventure ended badly, as expected."
"RWBY X Transdim Chapter 2: The Lonesome Deicide."
"RWBY X Transdim Chapter 3: The Discussion"
"RWBY X Transdim Chapter 4: The Aftermath."
"RWBY X Transdim Chapter 5: The Offer"
"RWBY X Transdim Chapter 6: Caffeine"
"RWBY X Transdim Chapter 7: The melancholy of Hikigaya Hachiman"

"Let me Have this."
"Untitled"
"Who am I?"

"Unexpectedly, Zaimokuza is a Harem Protagonist."
"Clearly, I Shouldn’t Write While Tired (1.1x)"
"Clearly, I Shouldn’t Write While Tired. (1.2x)"

"My Future Career in Another World has Developed Not as I Expected."
"My Future Career in Another World has Developed Not as I Expected (Part II)"

"Sensei's Sensei"
"Who-should've-been-Best-Girl."

"Lyon = Fantasy Yukinoshita."
"Lyon + Yukinoshita = Tears?"

CuriousStranger
"The Unsurpassed Trio! The Master Fencer General Meets his Match?"
daniel_gudman
"Untitled Omake"
finaltrinity5
"Edgy One-Liner."
Harb
"My Final Moments Were In Vain, As Expected?"
kimeral666
"As expected, elves will be the death of Hikigaya Hachiman."
MantisLion
"My Trans-Dimensional, Overpowered Harem Protagonist Meta-Meta-Fanfiction is Too Lewd, As Expected!"
Plasmadon
"Untitled Omake.(It's about Tiona)"
prismprison
"Start."
Wooonion
"Hestia Interlude."
Zhade
"Drunk Sensei"

Skills
Dia Orpheus

Khepri14 · Dec 13, 2015

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
Also, I'd like a few insights if you can spare the time for them:
-How would you suggest 'showing' what a person is doing? I'm slightly unpleased with how I conveyed the fact that Hikigaya is basically running a protection racket for lower-leveled adventurers.
-Implying odd powers? The latter half of the second section has Hikigaya implying why he doesn't need a Familia, which is a core facet of many adventurers, and that he's plenty strong.

Too tired right now, sorry. Might have some ideas later.

sleepyforest · Dec 13, 2015

That was amazing and you're amazing. My only hope is that it is not a one shot.

Maragas · Dec 13, 2015

I like the one shot but I can't give you any advice.I am not good enough writer to give you.

jaiveer00 · Dec 13, 2015

good story sage. i would offer help...except any fanfiction i wrote never left the 1K word range or paper because i thought it was too shitty.

JackArrow · Dec 13, 2015

Maybe rework the conversation with Tulle to better convey the protection racket? It was a little hard to visualize the series of events in my head. The mystery power is fine if you continue the story, but if it is a one shot maybe explain it a little in the story.

Tesuji · Dec 14, 2015

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
-How would you suggest 'showing' what a person is doing? I'm slightly unpleased with how I conveyed the fact that Hikigaya is basically running a protection racket for lower-leveled adventurers.

Yeah, I have no idea what this means: Most adventurers seem to go in groups and/or rely on the more experienced members of their familia. Why would they rely on him for protection? How did he build up that kind of reputation while still being level 1? Is he going with them to the dungeons as backup, or is he on-call for emergencies, and how would that even work? Is he just getting involved in fights between adventurers, and how is a level 1 doing that either?

Or, is this actually a straight-up racket, and not protection, by which you mean low-level adventurers are paying him so that he doesn't beat them up? That seems to make even less sense, given the more experienced members of those familias would presumably show up and stop him.

The easiest way to explain what's going on is presumably to show him making his sales pitch to Bell, so the problem might simply be that the chapter ended too soon.

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
-Implying odd powers? The latter half of the second section has Hikigaya implying why he doesn't need a Familia, which is a core facet of many adventurers, and that he's plenty strong.

... and sure, that's kind of a big issue. I mean, I guess he has a grace because he has stats, and he seems to be able to increase his stats even without a god updating his status, but how and why that happened (and how he figured it out, and how he's managed not to let anyone else see his status) seems meaningful.

Also, are fines for going into lower floors even a thing? I recall "Don't go too low because that's dumb", but not really "You have to pay a fine if you go lower than the Adventurer's Guild says you can". How could they even enforce that?

TmDagger · Dec 14, 2015

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
A/N: I'd like a few insights if you can spare the time for them:
-How would you suggest 'showing' what a person is doing? I'm slightly unpleased with how I conveyed the fact that Hikigaya is basically running a protection racket for lower-leveled adventurers.

Alright.

Just a general approach at first: as long as you use Hikigaya as your POV, doing something like volume-intros from LN might work.

Something like - an intro - mostly his internal fairly well-reasoned monologue/argument (short: 200-400 words), that in true Hikigaya fashion uses Insane Troll Logic (ITL) to reach some tangentially related conclusion, but none the less hints at the main idea of following story-segment.

Also, 8man really likes go on tangents of thought that have little meaning to the action at hand, but carry great descriptive weight.
Like in the first part of snippet above:

“I suppose that’s all I can ask you to do.” Sophie sighed. My Advisor must have shook her head and smiled in that particularly cute way. For the sake of keeping myself from exposing any weak points, I kept head staring towards the door. Unlike many giant monsters, I preferred to not get hit by massive damage. “Oh, and the Hecate Familia has offered you another invitation! I know that you’re very loyal to your god, and that they’re the lonesome sort, but please consider working with them for your own sake!”

I kept quiet after giving a grunt, but I was lying and I’d admit that. As always, being quiet solved a lot of problems.

While I managed to get ignored and unnoticed in my former world, the first and strongest of my 108 skills ‘Stealth Hikki,’ has evolved into an active skill in my new realm.

No longer is it limited to just blending into the environment, with a slight chance of detection by hopelessly energetic girls, but it also now inflicts status effect: Wrong Conclusion!

By staying quiet, I’d allowed an entire history for me to be created by the imaginative, cunning minds of my fellows! Truly, silence is a fearsome weapon indeed!

Suffice to say, I had no god. No Kami-sama as many other adventurers do. I handled things like updating, housing, and feeding myself on my own. No one else knew my abilities or skills, and that’s how I liked it. If I’d been anything but the consummate loner that I am, I’m sure that I wouldn’t have seen the advantages of my position.

That was how it started when I awoke in the gutters, and that’s how it still remains.

No god meant no gossip about me, and no knowledge of my abilities and skills making their way across the city. For that level of anonymity, having no Familia or a chance for a ‘title’ was decent price.

Besides, it’s idiotic to believe that I’d put my life in the hands of other people. There’s only a single person I’d entrust my life to here and that’s me.

Ahh… enough with the depressing thoughts. I’d managed to get a few hundred thousand Valis, inched my stats upwards, and Sophie’s amount of embezzling has reached a million Valis. I have a sizeable chunk of extra money, more power to leverage, and solid blackmail. In the standards of this world, I was a success.

The "action at hand" is "grabbing money as conversation comes to close", while description manages to convey a little bit about great many things - like Hachiman still being Hachiman, his situation, plans and etc...

The same could be done for conversation with Eina - lighten up on hints overall and instead concentrate them somewhere in the beginning of the conversation.

Something like this: Hikigaya musing on sad math of encounters in the Dungeon with fatal outcomes and how pointless heroism is overrated (or something sutably fitting for his patented form of ITL), to tie in with what reader may already know from Danmachi.
Then switch over to the conversation: with Hikigaya hinting that he'd really like to..."partner up" with Bell, and Eina desperately trying to tell him to leave poor boy alone, without sounding terribly rude.

So, we get:
- a "passive" hint that there is a problem;
- a solution to said problem that Hikigaya disdains;
=>Just enough hints to make reader suspect that the "problem" wouldn't have been brought up without a reason.
And then conversation gives the final hint (confirmation) that would point at the "solution" to said "problem" 8man came up with.

Sage_Of_Eyes · Dec 14, 2015

Unsurprisingly, I'm Overpowered but not the Protagonist. (1.2)

...

The Dungeon has rules and, as far as I know, it’s up to the individual adventurer to figure them all out. Being successful in the Dungeon means either paying people for information, gathering the facts yourself, or learning on your feet while inside the dungeon. Since the number of monsters that spawn during the day is relatively low if one follows the ‘rules’ set by the Guild, people tend to keep locations of spawn areas and safe areas to themselves.

Many first-time Adventurers die if they go in alone. They have no information, rely too much on their blessings and powers, and wander into fights they can’t win.

I made money by exploiting that fact. For a cut of my employer’s profit, I help them along the dungeon. In an MMO, I’d be the veteran player pointing out facts in the beginner area for pocket change. However, in the case of this world, there’s no system that keeps me from ranking up my stats by killing and killing hundreds of thousands of lesser monsters. Not only that, but there’s always money in killing lesser monsters like goblins or giant ants.

By helping new adventurers out I feel better about myself, and get people to lug back my crystals and item drops.

Hmmm… maybe I just like seeing people carry my stuff for me? I doubted there was any part of me that liked the praises of the bland masses who I walked through the dungeon.

However, with this kid I’d pressed into my pack-mule for the day, everything was different.

For one thing, Bell Cranel is ridiculously powerful.

“…” Walking into the room where I told him to wait for opponents, I watched him fight. Armed with only a knife, Cranel cut through the goblins of the first floor like a man possessed. The white-haired boy launched himself into combat without a second thought. Any other rookie adventurer would’ve been killed if they acted like him, but he had the speed and strength to take on groups of six to seven goblins without my help. Other rookies would’ve been killed and torn apart by such a group. He was upon them like a wolf, and slashed through them with ease. “Oi, kid, you done?”

“H-Hikigaya-san! You’re already done with the group you pulled?” Wiping sweat from his brow, Cranel looked upon me with innocent, scarlet eyes and very, very fair features. I’d have fallen for him right away, if not for the fact Totsuka already captured my heart. I’m sorry Cranel-kun, but the dark path that would’ve led my parents to hang their heads in shame is reserved for only one person. Wait, did I just admit that I’d gladly marry Totsuka? How embarrassing! “I-I mean yes I am! Thank you for bringing me such a manageable group!”

“Good.” I nodded before tossing him his bag. The pouch was already filled to the brim with small monster crystals, but seven more shouldn’t be much. I’d filled up six of the bags myself, but that was because I’m a cheating cheater who cheats. Running through the dungeon triggers goblins to spawn. By running through the entire dungeon, I trained my agility and gathered an immense mob. After funneling them into one of the longer hallways I simply killed them all. I set a few strays towards Cranel to make sure he was fighting and training at all times. “Are you ready to train?”

“Y-yes, I am Hikigaya-sensei!” Beaming too widely for someone who has just killed dozens of lesser monsters, Cranel enthusiastically nodded and walked towards me ready for training. I’m surprised he managed to destroy so many and is still capable of standing. I would be lying if I said I didn’t plan on ‘rescuing’ him once he found himself overwhelmed. I made sure my laps were close enough to where the white-haired boy was to keep him safe. “Please take care of me, Sensei!”

“I’m too young to be called sensei, kid.” The word sensei made me remember a certain chain-smoking, single teacher. I really hoped that someone married her already. I’d be depressed if I returned and found out she was still single. Taking out my own knife from its holster on my belt, I gestured for him to follow me. “I’m going to trigger a few goblins and show you how to fight them properly.”

“Eh!?” Huh, Cranel’s alarmed cry is pretty cute. No, back away dangerous thoughts! I have a job to do! The white-haired boy looked surprised. “But, I can do that already!”

“You’re sweating and out of breath.” I didn’t bother looking at him. I examined the walls. Some were duller than usual, having produced their limit of goblins for the next hour or so. I preferred the levels with ants. They spawned by the hundreds and I’m the perfect bug zapper. “If you don’t learn how to properly kill them, how do you expect to go to the next levels without tiring yourself out?”

“Ah! I understand!” Scarlet eyes wide with understanding, Cranel followed me eagerly. The amount of energy the white-haired boy had made me doubt my own words. Still, why was this guy so easy to please? Tulle was right to worry about you, Cranel-san, you’re way too innocent for your own good! Too innocent for this world! Unless you’re just acting! Then you’re a bastard who I’ll leave for dead! “You’re correct, as expected, sensei!”

“Save the compliments, kid.” Shaking my head, I decided against listening to Cranel any more than I needed to. If everything he’s doing is an act, I want to make sure I can react accordingly. If I was making a mistake, and he really was innocent, my gruff, serious manner should warn him against being so nice and getting taken advantage of. Everyone wins! Soon enough, I found a part of the wall that was darker than the rest. Still plenty of juice in it to spawn a monster, and it did so once Cranel and I reached it. “Watch carefully.”

“Goblins are scrawny, weak things but very dangerous in large numbers.” I explained as the small, flimsy creature simply generated from the wall. Until the monster was fully released, it would be as hard as the rock. Not too difficult to break with a mace, but I was using a dagger. Looking over my shoulder, I was glad to see Cranel was paying attention. “They move in very specific ways, however with proper observation you can see how they’ll attack.”

“You can predict how they’ll attack you?” Cranel seemed shocked, but I was used to it. No one in this world has ever played a videogame. Every monster has a specific moveset, just like any other game. I doubted they’re actually living things. They’re more like machines generated by the dungeon that left behind bits when killed. No point in making something clever if you intend to throw endless waves of them at your enemies. “That’s amazing, Hikigaya-sensei!”

“Stop talking and pay attention, brat.” I grunted out what was basically Hiratsuka-sensei’s own words to me. The words had their intended effect and Cranel went silent. Hopefully the albino kid will get the message. Better his optimism gets crushed early, before he runs into the other adventurers that come into the Dungeon. Learning to automatically distrust others is an integral part of life in my previous world and that hasn’t changed in this one. The goblin dropped onto the floor, got up, and snarled. It was ready to kill people. I kicked it across the hall. “They’re resistant against blunt force, but they take more damage from edged attacks. The same goes for any fleshy opponent you’ll come across. Now, describe to me how it gets up.”

“Ummm... it’s coming to run at you?”

“Wrong~” I , before kicking away the charging goblin. It got up a second after I threw it back. Monsters felt no remorse or pain. No matter how wounded they are, if they can try to kill you, they’ll pursue you to the ends of the earth. “Look at its arms, legs, and posture. Describe them.”

“Err… Its hands are stretched forward and its knees are bent. It’s crouching forward.”

“Correct. That’s its special move, pounce. It does that when it’s really threatened.” I backhanded the goblin flying towards me, making sure to leave it just struggling to get up. Cranel audibly swallowed as he watched it get up, bloodied and bruised. I looked at him over my shoulder. “Oi, brat, monsters aren’t sapient. The only thing they want in life is to end yours.” Turning my gaze back to the goblin, I frowned as I saw it on its haunches. Quick learner, this one. “Spare your worry for actual, living people. Now, describe what it’s doing.”

“It’s on its haunches, Hikigaya-sensei. I… don’t know what it’s about to do. I’ve never seen it do that before.”

“You wouldn’t since this only happens if you toy with your enemies, but you’re still correct.” Despite watching the goblin, I spared a glance towards Cranel. As I suspected, he was completely focused now. The energy that used to be dedicated towards killing monsters was now entirely focused on me. My, my you’re a scary kid aren’t you? You’re more dangerous than I expected, Cranel-san. Tulle was certainly worrying too much about you. “It’s about to summon more of its kind.”

“Eh!?”

“That’s its second special move.” I answered Cranel’s unvoiced question. The goblin raised its clawed hands and slammed them onto the stone floor. Monsters didn’t usually spawn from the actual floor, but the goblin’s ‘Reinforcement’ skill made it happen. Oddly enough, the giant ants couldn’t do the same despite their theme. Whoever developed this game must’ve switched their features by accident. Hilarious. “Now, as you can see, there are five goblins instead of one. They also spawn quicker than they do from the walls. So, remember to make sure to kill goblins quickly and efficiently. Don’t allow them to run away.”

“Hikigaya-sensei, they’re all pouncing at you! Get back!”

I didn’t bother answering that, even though I was surprised to see him immediately act to help me. Maybe he was an actual nice person? I’m sure he saw how many pouches of drops and monster crystals I had. Most adventurers would try and see if I’d get killed so they can get my things.

Anyway, I didn’t need him to worry about me. If seven pouncing goblins could kill me, I’d be dead a long time ago.

Huh, that was a really, really cool thing to say.

Taking my knife, I strode into their pouncing formation. Goblins have a tendency to make synchronized attacks, but they’re slow. Well, slow compared to someone with a Blessing and who trained in just about everything. Even with the… additions I have on me, unlike monsters in the Middle floors, they were still too slow to actually hit me.

Smacking two to the side, I made an opening for myself. Grabbing the ‘lead’ of the jumping pack, my knife embedded itself into its skull before I pried it off and threw it at its fellows.

The body existed just long enough to throw one of the still-flying goblins into its compatriot, exploding into a fine mist and leaving behind a monster crystal.

Dazed and confused, the goblins died as I simply crushed their bodies beneath my weighted foot. One good stomp or kick for each one of them, depending if they were against the wall or on the floor.

“See how I did it?” The bodies exploded into fine crystals as I looked towards Cranel. I waved aside the dust floating in the wind. Augh, I hated breathing in dead monsters. “Efficient and quick. Every attack must end your opponent with just the right about of effort. Doing this saves your strength for later floors and stronger monsters.”

“…” My white-haired pseudo-student’s mouth was agape, and I felt some pride at seeing his surprise. A little praise for the ego never hurts. Turning away, I began to look for another spot where a goblin could still spawn. “…Are you sure that I can do that, Hikigaya-sensei? I barely saw you move…”

“Well, not with that attitude.” I shrugged. Cranel probably could. If my red-eyed debtor could slash straight through a goblin, he can most certainly break its skull beneath his boot. I didn’t do complicated ‘techniques.’ If your opponent is a machine, you needed to become a machine, and the Dungeon is most certainly a very devilish machine. “Come now, you’ve made enough money for today, but there’s still plenty of time before sunset. We won’t go to the next floor until you can do what I just did.”

And if Cranel did manage it, well… he’s already ticked off ‘cute girl hanging off his arm’ and ‘running after an unreachable goal.’

If my newest student grows stronger at a ludicrously fast pace, that just means it’s time for me to stop screening through the idiots entering this dungeon as my search for this Light Novel’s protagonist has just met its end.

...

A/N: I'm finding this dryer that I like it to be. Both Damachi's comedic action and Oregairu's splendid conversations aren't coming through. I'll work on conveying such things more on the next update. Introduce more characters and have a look into Hikigaya's abilities.

I also appreciate the comments, and I'll be sure to put them to use. TmDagger and Valint thanks for both your comments, I'll be more mindful of the forced perspective I'm putting people through and make it original and stay true to the original works. Be sure to put in your comments, and see if you find anything jarring or odd!

For those following my Quests, the regular schedule will resume tomorrow!

Khepri14 · Dec 14, 2015

[X] Every other day

Nice update. Also, sorry that I didn't have any ideas when I first looked in here, but I think TmDagger's got the right idea(s). Thanks for all the hard work you do on all your Quests and everything!!

jaiveer00 · Dec 14, 2015

[X] Every other day

interesting.

Blackraptor · Dec 14, 2015

[X] Whenever you have the time to

You do this on your own free time. No need to keep on a deadline. Just post what you're happy with. You've been doing well so far.

Also:

Creative Writing tips and tricks
Reference webpages for fanfic writers

Those threads have been around since the 00's and have been a big help for a lot of writers here, myself included. You should be able to find what you need and more there.

고준혁 · Dec 14, 2015

[X] Whenever you have the time to

Tesuji · Dec 14, 2015

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
Also, a question: Would you prefer daily updates that are 1000 words or every other day that's 2000 words?

Whichever keeps you motivated to continue the story.

Weak preference for longer updates.

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
If my newest student grows stronger at a ludicrously fast pace, that just means it’s time for me to stop screening through the idiots entering this dungeon, as my search for this Light Novel’s protagonist has just met its end.

Huh. My first thought when you started this was to wonder why Hikigaya was behaving this way: I'd expect him to be highly scornful of adventurers, since a lot of them behave exactly like the kind of high school student he despises; plus, I'd expect him to try to do the least amount of work (and preferably get someone else to be doing it), rather than be a hardcore adventurer.

... but you're right, it makes sense for him to be highly genre-savvy, and if he figures that finding the plot of whatever story he's in is key to getting back home, this isn't a bad way to go about it.

I'm still not sure why you'd call this a "protection racket". That usually means (a) a bunch of criminals extorting money from you in exchange for them not beating you up or burning down your business, or (b) the less frequently-used (but more correct) term for that situation, in which the criminals are actually protecting you against other criminals, typically in a case where an area is broken up into turfs.

This seems more like a straightforward Adventure Mentor system, sort of like a more hands-on version of what the Adventurer's Guild provides. That seems like the kind of thing that would be tough to get off the ground without building up a reputation or being above level 1, so I'm looking forward to seeing a flashback at some point.

The LD Man · Dec 14, 2015

Yes Yes Yes, Watched so hard.

Skullders · Dec 14, 2015

Well seems interesting, till now the only big thing to complain is how is he updating stats, since without a god he would have no blessing (and without it one cant have stats, its a result of the gods meddlign that lets one surpass the mortal limits).
About the guild fine on lower levels its probably just one more money grubbing tatic from a big corporation that probably owns all the land around the dungeon around and so controls it.

BC1 · Dec 14, 2015

[X] Every other day

A longer chapter gives you more room to play with, without worrying so much about finding a stopping point so soon.

Magus Joon · Dec 14, 2015

I'm very pleasantly surprised that you're writing a fanfiction in the creative writing section, but it's not an ordinary crossover but a crossover between Danmachi/Oregairu.

It's... very unique crossover you have there. *snort* Though, I don't think unique is an enough of the word to describe this story you've going here. I'm definitely interested in what you're going with this crossover. Very interested, indeed. Definitely watched.

ImNot TellingYou · Dec 14, 2015

A tiny bit every day is just annoying, like someone giving you soda a single drop at a time. Each drop lacks the surface area needed to hold in carbonation and it goes flat almost immediately.

Valerian · Dec 14, 2015

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
“See how I did it?” The bodies exploded into fine crystals as I looked towards Cranel. I waved aside the dust floating in the wind. Augh, I hated breathing in dead monsters.

I don't know if you care or not, but the exploding into dust bit for the monsters is an anime-only development. In the light novel the bodies remain and adventurers would need to cut into the monster's corpse to find the cores they harvest for money. This is why the supporters that followed around heroes were so important, they could spend their time harvesting the corpses while the heroes continued to fight or guard them. It was also very dirty and potentially dangerous work given the many types of horrors the Dungeon tended to spawn.

Sage_Of_Eyes · Dec 15, 2015

Valerian said:
I don't know if you care or not, but the exploding into dust bit for the monsters is an anime-only development. In the light novel the bodies remain and adventurers would need to cut into the monster's corpse to find the cores they harvest for money. This is why the supporters that followed around heroes were so important, they could spend their time harvesting the corpses while the heroes continued to fight or guard them. It was also very dirty and potentially dangerous work given the many types of horrors the Dungeon tended to spawn.

Unfortunately, I'll have to forgo that. I've just begun reading the Light Novels (And having a rather good time), and that makes a tremendous amount of sense in hindsight.

I'll synchronize it, change it up, and keep the Supporters more relevant then.

Appreciate the LN information, please no spoilers!

Lalzparty · Dec 15, 2015

Man, Bell is so altruistic that it actually hutrr\s to compare Hachiman's voice against him.

somnolentSlumber · Dec 15, 2015

Sage_Of_Eyes said:
right amount of effort

liking this so far

would like to see some more worldbuilding though
havent gotten much out of it other than generic fantasy anime universe

jackblack · Dec 15, 2015

I am really pleased to see this.

Invalidsyntax · Dec 15, 2015

Man im loving the characterisation of this guy, he really has lost most of his sense of compassion.

My Trans-Dimensional, Overpowered Protagonist, Harem Comedy is Wrong, as Expected. Oregairu/Danmachi

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Free From Sanity

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