She Who Skitters in Shadows: Second Breath

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by TPK, Sep 27, 2013.

  1. For those who don't follow the ideas thread, GM has announced that he will not be continuing She Who Skitters in Shadows.
    Twei likes this.
  2. Silver W. King

    Silver W. King The King of Adventures

    ...Come again?:confused:

    Link, please?
  3. Here:
    green likes this.
  4. Chuut-Riit

    Chuut-Riit The laziest man on Earth

    Well, it was fun while it lasted.
    green likes this.
  5. This disappoints me. *sigh* At least we can re-read what has already been posted. Thanks for this, gibbousmoons, and good luck in future projects.
  6. Daemir Silverstreak

    Daemir Silverstreak Master Slacksmith

    Well, damn. This was my favorite Exalted/worm cross. I will miss it. On the other hand, I look forward to whatever gibbousmoons writes next.

    Farewell, She who Skitters in Shadows, For you have skittered beyond our sight.
  7. Lung: "I can't believe I got out of this in one piece."
  8. This is sad.
  9. biigoh

    biigoh Purveyor of Fine Fanfiction

    This is sad.... ;_;
    Happerry likes this.
  10. TPK

    TPK Hello, friend. Super Awesome Happy Fun Time

    Would you like a brief outline of what I'd intended to write, or would that just make you too sad?
    RazorSmile, green, megamiaouh and 4 others like this.
  11. vel10

    vel10 Seriously?

    Well, as much as I enjoyed this, I do have to agree with gibbous' analysis of the story. I look forward to and will be following what you make in the future.
  12. the brief outline work for me.
  13. An outline would be nice.
  14. P.K


    Would love that!
  15. Outline!
  16. Xexilf

    Xexilf Solidarity

    Outline, please. I cant speak for others, but for me at least when stories are abandoned not knowing what would have happend hits me far harder than loss of reading material.
  17. TPK

    TPK Hello, friend. Super Awesome Happy Fun Time

    Skitter and co. proceed down the Labyrinth, coming at last to Bonesaw and Jack Slash. Siberian is nowhere to be seen. A fight ensues, in which the heroes appear to be winning, until a horde of zombies with six arms each drop from the vaulted ceiling and pin them down. Bonesaw is cute and cheerful, and is about to complete the preparations to cast some nasty necromancy of unknown origin, and all hope seems lost. Out of nowhere, Jack stops her at the last moment, cuts scratches all over the ritual stone she was using, and holds her close. "The Slaughterhouse Nine don't work for anybody." He says.

    A shadow detaches from the wall while he's talking to Bonesaw about how she needs to respect herself more, and not listen to strange men in her head. It's the Mask of Winters, seven feet tall and four feet broad, hugely massive and clad in spiked Soulsteel plate. Evil Overlord standard, jacked up to 11. Jack dodges before MoW moves, pulling Bonesaw out of the way. Siberian jumps through the wall, grabs them, and runs. Zombies rot as MoW clicks his fingers. Heroes escape. Chapter end.

    The Endbringer siren is running as they exit the locker. All want to bail, extremely creeped out. They go to the rally point. There aren't many people there, they don't want to risk their lives for a city that's already doomed because of the Nine. About a hundred capes show up, but all of the heavy hitters do. Lung, Kaiser, Dragon etc. . .

    Endbringer fight mirrors canon for a while, but the opening meeting takes less time. Triumverate show up. Losses occur, Leviathan takes visible damage. Skitter closes in to deal damage, and shatters Leviathan's right arm with the rules for excessive damage against non-exalts, but gets hit by surprise and taken out.

    She wakes up a few minutes later, fight still ongoing. A few updates happen from the hospital tent, situation worsens as Leviathan slips their net. Without canon Skitter's bug swarm they can't track Leviathan, and it's hunting down capes one by one. Fenja, Kaiser, Velocity, Legend, Miss Militia, the toll keeps rising. I kill of lots of characters people like.

    Dragon and Armsmaster engage, and Taylor runs to help. Dragon's in a biological clone of Taylor (half-caste Abyssal), and Dragon uses an essence-based attack to stab straight through Leviathan. Moment of hope. Chapter end.

    Leviathan opens the new chapter by rapidly freezing and melting the water on Dragon's armor, and her current suit is torn in half. Taylor watches in incomprehension as someone that looks like her mother is eviscerated. Leviathan smashes the uploader on the back of Dragon's neck, and does so deliberately and slowly.

    Armsmaster goes apeshit.

    Armsmaster is cut in half.

    Taylor goes apeshit.

    Leviathan gets thrown through several apartment buildings, and then she's on him again. Her anima banner fully unfurls around her, a massive figure made of black flame, smoke writing blasphemies across its skin. Wings sprout from its back, and some of the weaker minded parahumans (one or two) break down and claw their own eyes out. Taylor is tearing chunks out of Leviathan, and finally rips its head clean off. Chapter end.
  18. Daemir Silverstreak

    Daemir Silverstreak Master Slacksmith


    So that is how the end of the world begins.
  19. TPK

    TPK Hello, friend. Super Awesome Happy Fun Time

    Open of chapter, Taylor runs out of motes.

    Leviathan falls over, and she slumps down. All is well, rejoicing happens, laughing and crying over the comms. Taylor sobs in relief, but then sees the water is still moving. She shouts and screams, but no one notices before Leviathan’s back up, and heading for the field hospital. The Mask of Winters bars its way, sword drawn.

    Fight occurs. Mask of Winters uses judicious charms to block attacks, negates the environmental damage completely. His sword can’t penetrate all the way into Leviathan’s bones, and the Endbringer quickly learns to block with one arm while attacking with the rest of its limbs. MoW has no perfects, can’t keep up under the unrelenting pressure. Taylor’s heart sinks as her boogeyman suffers hit after hit. Surely he can’t keep this up? He can’t. The Mask of Winters has an arm torn off, and black fluid pours from the hole, then he’s grabbed with one arm and tail and torn in half, lengthwise. Leviathan has mostly regenerated. End chapter.

    Open chapter with Leviathan stalking slowly towards the heroes massed defense as its head regenerates. Pop, eyeball. Pop, mouth. All get ready for one last attempt to kill it, when Leviathan jerks to a stop. There’s a length of metal two meters long protruding from the side of its torso, pinning one arm still. Leviathan moves, and collapses as lightning erupts from the metal spear, its muscles convulse uselessly. Another pillar of steel appears with a chorus of screams, and Taylor grabs someone, drains some motes, and climbs to the top of a building. A man, seven feet tall, but so thin she can see his bones, wrapped in bandages stained black and rust red, stands with a bow as tall as he is, pulling spears of screaming metal out of the air and sending them into Leviathan, who by now is pinned to the asphalt. The water is still. The man turns his head 180 degrees to face Taylor, and speaks. It’s the Mask of Winters. Chapter end.

    Chapter opens with the MoW stepping off the building and doing some necromancy to Leviathan that sends it through the mouth of the void. He claims Brockton Bay as his own land. Eidolon disagrees. Arguments ensue, mostly reasonable on both sides. MoW claims right of conquest, you were going to leave it anyway, I just killed your monster, etc. Mask of Winters smiles, and the Sun sets. A circle of salt around the city flares to light, then rots away in a moment, and the stars go away, the moon goes away. Mask of Winters uses socialization charms to assert that this is his land, and Master protocols are called. End of Chapter.

    Panic for an update or two. Out of nowhere- a golden figure with four arms burns through a hole in the world and throws its hands down onto the ground, sending shockwaves of fire and light through the city.

    Mask of Winters freaks, tries to run.

    Golden figure pursues, and it seems like it’s going to catch up almost any second now, MoW is at Winslow High School, fleeing to locker when Eidolon fires a burst of plasma at the golden figure, and the Simurgh’s Tinkertech armor breaks. MoW keeps fleeing, and Simurgh flees. End of chapter.

    Two or three epilogues.

    Taylor stays in BB. Nobody is allowed to leave except the Triumverate.Walls have gone up, they’re treating MoW like the Simurgh. Brockton Bay is now a Shadowland, and the ghosts of everyone killed in the past few days were caught in the expanding Underworld linked through Taylor’s locker. Her dad’s not alive, but exists. Dragon and Armsmaster are together. Things are okay, all things considered.

    Contessa’s epilogue may be a flashback. She does things that combine to convince the Mask of Winters to hold back until she’s dead, and he doesn’t have to deal with her precog, but isn’t sure her power is working correctly. She resolves to rely less on it in the future. Scion is missing, and no one knows where he went.

    Possible other epilogue, accept ideas.
  20. Xexilf

    Xexilf Solidarity

    Im feeling a bit like i speak ill of a dead person criticising this fic now, but...yeah, i dont think that would have worked all that well.
    It seems like a mess of not quite fitting things, somewhat overcomplicated with little resolved.
    Also personally you probably would have lost me as a reader at a point were drama piles up too much, but that can hardly be called objective criticism.

    Maybe it would have worked, but maybe its better like this too.
  21. TPK

    TPK Hello, friend. Super Awesome Happy Fun Time

    It's beating a dead horse, but the horse is kicking itself along with you, so don't worry about it. Everything you said was perfectly valid.