Tank [Worm AltpowerTaylor AU, Complete]

[maroon_sweater]

Summary: Taylor triggers in the locker with the ability to turn into an arbitrary number of Soviet tanks. Easily a breaker 9/blaster 5/mover 3/brute 4/changer 8/master 7, our glorious heroine becomes the vanguard of the proletariat and brings about righteous revolution. Escalation, power wank, and stations of canon galore lie within these pages.

Acknowledgments: To the altright unAmerican butt pustules who inspired me to write this, I can offer no apology without tarnishing my integrity. To the tens of millions who needlessly perished under Marxism's many failures, I can say literally nothing, because they are dead. To my beta Gaia and my beloved readers, I can declare with absolute certainty that you should be at least as ashamed of yourselves as I am of myself. To my most amazing and perfect Pericardium, I send all my thanks and love for creating the cover art.

Table of Contents
Chapter One: Historical Experience is Written in Blood and Iron
Chapter Two: A Single Spark Can Start a Prairie Fire
Chapter Three: Political Power Blooms From the Barrel of a Gun
Chapter Four: Revolution Is Not A Dinner Party
Chapter Five: War Can Only Be Abolished Through War
Chapter Six: Talking Nonsense Solves No Problems
Chapter Seven: Do You Doubt This Conclusion? Facts Will Force You To Accept It!

 

[maroon_sweater]

Chapter One: Historical Experience is Written in Blood and Iron

I’m a steamroller, baby
And I’m rolling on down the line
Hell, you better get outta my way now
Before I roll all over you

Iron and blood.

Taylor Hebert has been shoved in her own locker, trapped within its metal confines, encased and imprisoned in a cocoon of metal: iron.

She is not alone. Dozens of rotting menstrual products crowd her, and they've been here long enough that hundreds of tiny life forms crowd them, feasting on the very element that pollutes them: blood.

The bugs are a metaphor for Taylor's social status and self-image and quite frankly you're stupid for not noticing that, but they are not a metaphor that is relevant to this story.

As she molders like so many sodden pads, Taylor wishes her school life was not like this. Everybody has a right to a tampon-free educational experience, but she is nonetheless sealed in a coffin of discarded menstrual cups.

This is not Emma’s fault.

Well, it obviously is, but it’s also more broadly the fault of neoliberal capitalism.

Globalization led to widespread economic depression, which led to Winslow being underfunded, which led to underpaid teachers and administrators deferring to the wealthy lawyer Alan Barnes.

Fucking capitalism. She could get rid of Emma, but another Emma would only rise up in her place.

This is the result of a systemic failure.

Suddenly an eldritch crystallized being of gargantuan proportions taps her on the figurative shoulder.

It shows her a utopia where the people care for each other and ensure they can learn and work without fear or oppression or alienation.

Destination?

Taylor agrees.

The way is revealed to her: the masses unite behind a column of tanks, which roll forward under a flag the color of the blood they spill.

Trajectory?

Taylor agrees.

Then she changes.

Blood and iron.

*

It looks like this: a normal high school hallway, populated by a handful of students--some mutely stunned, some openly amused--gawking at a particular locker. There is a puddle of vomit on the ground in front of this locker.

Then, suddenly, a D-10T2S (for those of you who don’t wish to interrupt your fic-reading experience to google Soviet armament terminology, that’s a tank gun) punches through the locker door. The barrel emerges inch by inch--slowly, painfully, because Taylor is not yet used to turning into a T55A Main Battle Tank.

Yet.

She adapts quickly. The remainder of the tank bursts forth from the wall of lockers, and a few unlucky but doubtlessly counterrevolutionary students are ground beneath her treads. The hallway is destroyed as the tank makes her way to the gymnasium. Remaining students run shrieking away, but more tanks follow them and herd them (as well as all the other students, teachers, and administrators) to the gym, too.

It sounds like this: Taylor explaining, through the screaming whir of a dozen V-55 engines, that the students are now free to simply study instead of being exploited for entertainment by bullies and exploited for labor in group projects.

Then it sounds like self-criticism read in shaky, quavering voices. Even people who were bad elements and rightists this morning can join, provided they confess their crimes and explain what they did wrong in public. It sounds like a struggle session as the freshly liberated students come to terms with the injustices committed against them under the old system.

It feels like this: getting crushed by a tank, if you’re Madison or Greg or Sparky; being forced into the airplane stress position, if you’re Emma or Blackwell or Gladly; turning into a shadow and fleeing, if you’re Sophia. If you’re Taylor, it feels like the world is being put right.

Also, these are Communist tanks, so running over protesting students only makes them happier and more powerful.

It tastes and smells like this: blood and smoke.

*

As far as the Protectorate can make out, the students who were Madison, Greg, and Sparky spontaneously disappeared and the remainder trashed the place in a fit of anti-authoritarian pique. You’d think the scale of destruction would clearly indicate “parahuman intervention,” but the witnesses aren’t talking and the establishment sees what it wants to see.

What it sees is a social problem, and it acts to stamp it out before the teeming hordes of poor Winslow students (I told you the bugs were a metaphor, seriously, this chapter is short, can you not remember 200 lousy words back?) can threaten the privileged students of Arcadia and Immaculata, which are the only other high schools in the entire state of New Hampusetts.

This is all very upsetting to Miss Militia, who is a bougie running dog, and to Armsmaster, who resents achievements made by the masses and not his own self, and to Alan Barnes, whose substance deserves to be eaten, and to the wealthy and powerful in general, because the youth these days are getting out of control and they need control of the youth.

While everyone is being upset, Taylor goes to a hardware store and steals (there being no ethical consumption under capitalism) an ice pick. She goes home and cuts her hair into a bob and dons a Mao suit that was stashed in her mother’s closet. This ensemble will serve as her costume when she is not being a fleet of tanks.

She ends the day a hero ready to do more heroism.

 

[Lostgamer64]

The tanks are not true Soviets. They treated certain people unequal to the current situation. There is still a little Capitalism in Taylor after all.

 

[The Sleeping Knight]

I...can't describe what I just read. I'm not even sure what just happened.

That's indicative of the best kind of fic, clearly.

Watched if only for the massive amounts of hilarity this will bring.

 

[misha906]

I can't wait for your reenactment of Tiananmen Square.

 

[Siberia]

You should rename it to "Tankie".

 

[ChickenOST]

i think Peri's a bad influence on you, this gives me distinct Fan Service vibes. However, I have to thank you for not depicting a pita wrap in a vile enough way to make me swear off eating anything with a tortilla or thin breadlike substance.

 

[Mannfred Von Carstein]

Not even the heavily distorted screeches of the Soviet National Anthem’s Earrape remix is enough to communicate my joy. This is memetic, memetic communism.

 

[GlassGirlCeci]

I can declare with absolute certainty that you should be at least as ashamed of yourselves as I am of myself.

Click to shrink...

Are you negative one hundred percent ashamed? Because I feel incredibly fortunate to have laid eyes on this masterpiece ;_;

i think Peri's a bad influence on you, this gives me distinct Fan Service vibes.

Click to shrink...

I think you misspelled G R E A T. I don't really know what to say, though. The wonderful use of asides, exquisite description of the locker, and simply the fresh zest of revolution that comes through in the writing - I'm excited for more, I can't wait for the next chapter!

 

[Borealing]

All versions of Annette have, somewhere in their closet, an article of clothing representing every radical group ever.

 

[Creslyn]

You're a terrible person who should feel terrible for writing something as terrible as this.

Please continue.

 

[T0PH4T]

blows out a cloud of nicotine smoke

Welp, I'm fucked. GG everyone, let's enjoy out bougie existence for the few short days we have left until Tankie liberates us under her treads of communist justice.

 

[Golden_]

Delete this, Roon.

 

[CrowFX]

Weird, but cool.

Such is the recipe for originality.

I think from the intro, this fic deserves to get a look for a while.

 

[Serialkillerwhale]

Reading this turned my coca-cola into vodka.

 

[freebiewitz]

*Viva la revolution in Spanish intensifies!*

 

[TheMadmanAndre]

What the fuck did I just read?

 

[Negashard]

is this an attempt at pushing an anti-capitalism message?

 

[lackofgravitas]

Communism its what's for Breakfast.
Later Kaiser will commit suicide in the smoldering ruins of Medhall Krieg will flee to Argentina the traditional cure for Nazism a communist tank army take as many as necessary

 

[D'znn-Xy'lll MetaChthonia]

Interesting...

What is with the Insulting the Reader thing? Is that a part of the Joke?

Spoiler: Space Saver

It shows her a utopia where the people care for each other and ensure they can learn and work without fear or oppression or alienation.

Click to shrink...

Spoiler: Rant

It is a Political-Economic one Expressing Opinions. It isn't to start a Political-Economic Argument and I will disregard it if you try to make it one.

Spoiler: Political

Ha! Only problem is that Hummies need Shinies to do anything and the threat of starvation never seems to be motivation enough. Money use to be a easier way to do Trade then it was given Value based on arbitrary Units of useless metals now it is an arbitrary Concept all together that serves no purpose besides ensuring the world becomes a Dystopia. The only way True Communism will ever work is if Humans stop being Human. Until then someone will always try to turn Communism into Fascism. Just be thankful that no where has True Capitalism or else we would essentially be a worse version of the Ferenge (the Poor die on the streets where they belong while motivating the Middle Class to pay for everything as they work for nothing and support the Rich who do nothing while claiming they are doing everything and there is some kind of Trickle Down (snrk, when they want to. If the Middies think they can save up money then they need to either be knocked down to Poor or shot in the streets). The version that currently exists is Socialistic Capitalism).

Communism may be a Utopian Dream but do remember that is just that: a Dream. Humans don't function that way, it is Instinctual to be Cruel and Sadistic in the most Creative ways while also be as Lazy as is possible even when it threatens their lives while trying to take advantage of each other whenever possible. If Humans worked in the way Communism requires then there would never have had been wars to begin with. The closest Humans can realistically get to True Communism is by replacing all workers with robots.

TL;DR:
The Human Condition. Also Robots would make True Communism slightly more feasible.

Also, these are Communist tanks, so running over protesting students only makes them happier and more powerful.

Click to shrink...

That sounds less like Communism and more like Stalinism. How fitting that the Sperm of Cannibalistic Spacewhales that can only comprehend Reproduction are the ones to come up with Stalinism.

As far as the Protectorate can make out, the students who were Madison, Greg, and Sparky spontaneously disappeared and the remainder trashed the place in a fit of anti-authoritarian pique. You’d think the scale of destruction would clearly indicate “parahuman intervention,” but the witnesses aren’t talking and the establishment sees what it wants to see.

Click to shrink...

I can see the Master Power is in effect. All According to Keikaku.

state of New Rhampusetts Island.

Click to shrink...

FTFY. Sometimes Brockton is placed in Rhode Island as well, overwriting Providence (which is weird given Providence already exists in Worm).

This is all very upsetting to Miss Militia, who is a bougie running dog,

Click to shrink...

Well she is discount Captain America. Minus everything that makes Cap great except the Patriotism and replace his shield with her powers.

While everyone is being upset, Taylor goes to a hardware store and steals (there being no ethical consumption under capitalism) an ice pick.

Click to shrink...

Why an ice pick? There are better tools.

She goes home and cuts her hair into a bob

Click to shrink...

How did she do that with an Ice Pick?!

She ends the day a hero ready to do more heroism.

Click to shrink...

So she ends the day ready to not end the day? Then what was the point of ending the day? ...SHE NEEDS TO BE SENT TO THE GULAG! SHE IS BEING SELFISH BY THINKING SHE IS ALLOWED TO RETIRE TO BED! CAPITALIST PIG! YOU WORK TILL YOU DIE AND ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EVEN COMPREHEND TIREDNESS! YOU CAN REST WHEN YOU ARE DEAD! Does she think herself better then her Comrades?! She must work and not stop for anything! She must sleep as she works and works as she sleeps! If she isn't retiring to bed then she is still seeing herself as superior to her Comrades! That Capitalist Pig! She thinks she can do more work and be more important then them! GULAG FOR YOU!

 

[lackofgravitas]

Troksy got killed by an ice pick it was a meme before the internet. "oh fuck its the trots wheres an ice pick when you need one" typically used when the SWP UK's largest leftist party and producer
placards for virtually every protest " turns up and ruins something by infiltrating it.

 

[Darklooshkin]

And here we see the violence inherent to the system. Watched from a distance with sporadic artillery cover.

 

[SirKaid]

Thanks, I hate it. Watched, if only to keep an eye on the Tankies.

 

[Wolfund]

AH! THE STALINIUM IS STRONK IN THIS! ONWARDS COMRADE!

 

[Chillingbear]

The Nazis are so fucked hahahahahaha